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Child Item

Weddings - a terrible day out.

JohnnyFlash

Opened the letter box this morning, and discovered an invite to the wedding of my nephew and his girlfriend. Has put me in bad mood as a result. I’ll have to go, but I’d rather get a 5-fingered prostate exam than attend to be honest. Does anyone actually enjoy Irish weddings?

They take all day. They cost a fortune. The food is nearly always shîte, you end up talking to cousins and other relations you hate, the speeches are always the same, you can’t get too drunk or the extended family will be gossiping about you, you don’t know who you’ll be sitting beside, the music is terrible. Just a really bad day out. The only positive is that there’s a decent chance you’ll get the ride at the end of the night.

When will start having w mature conversation about this? No one wants to go to these dreadful affairs only Bridezilla and her bridesmaids. Fiasco.

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AlphabetCards

splinter65 wrote: »

The brides “going away outfit” was nearly as important as the wedding dress.
They’d disappear up to the room and reappear then hand in hand all dressed up. Then all the guests would link arms around them and the DJ would strike up with Congratulations! By Cliff Richard and everyone would be dancing around them in a ring singing along.
And all the male guests would be slagging the groom about his wedding night even though everyone knew that they were at it like rabbits since they met.
And the bride would be blushing while her mother dabbed at her eyes with a tissue.
Off they’d head then in his car to Dublin Airport being chased down the hotel avenue, to get a flight to Santa Ponsa at some god awful hour.
All the guests went back in the hotel to resume getting pissed.

That sounds ideal. I'm gonna suggest that to the girlfriend. If she likes it, she'll make it to Fiancé.

foxy farmer

Was at 1 black tie wedding back in 2010. Christ what a load of pretentious bollox. A small orchestra and opera singer in the church . Bride left us sitting in church for well over an hour. Hotel had marquee outside but weather was sh1te. Wasn't able to cope with demand for drinks when we arrived.
The meal was another disaster. Some getting starter while more were on main course. Portions were miniscule with no seconds. Turned into a generic event with same music and disco as you'd hear at most weddings. Struck off for a take away around 10 that night as i was starved. Worst wedding i was at by a country mile. Went on till Sunday with a BBQ at the bride's parents house. Thankfully I didn't qualify for that.

OldMrBrennan83

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qwerty ui op

splinter65 wrote: »

My brother in law just refuses to go too. Especially family occasions. No excuses and no apologies. Just “thanks for asking but no, I don’t go to any of these things”. End of story now change the subject.

That's the best way to do it, if you do it across the board.
But at lot of people like to go to them at the start in their early twenties, after 2 or 3 the novelty wears off, by then your already caught up in them.

Teyla Emmagan

My uncle says "I'm busy that day".

This could be a year and a half out, before he has even been invited!!

qwerty ui op

Busy catching up on much needed R and R!

theyoungchap

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

Yay! I'd love to see smaller 1950s style weddings come back into fashion. Even in the 80s and 90s brides still changed into 'Going away' clothes and were seen off by the guests, all standing on the steps of the hotel as the B&G drove away with cans and horseshoes trailing behind them.
It was a lovely end to the wedding. Nowadays the bedraggled bride and stocious groom are usually the last to leave the resident's lounge, still in their wedding gear. It's just not the same.

The only reason people rushed off back then was because Mr Groom wanted to get balls deep for the first time.......

theyoungchap

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

I've often wondered what input grooms have into all the trappings of a BIG wedding?

I suppose they just go along with it and leave the Bride and entourage to it. Easier for the Groom I think!

Am I wrong?

For me you are, every decision we made was made equally, there were things I wanted and things she wanted. If a man lets a woman order him around with a wedding, he can get ready for a life of being ordered around!

VinLieger

Love me a good irish wedding, you're all a bunch of whingers who arent able to make your own fun.

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theyoungchap

I think this might be an Irish thing - for our wedding, people flew from Australia, USA, and Canada and various parts of Europe! In total, almost 50 people flew in.

I think Irish people just love to complain, even about a happy occasion for people they (presumably) at least think something of. Couples go to enormous effort and expense for years for 1 day in their lives and all people can do is whinge about having to go? I know I'd rather people didn't bother coming!!

qwerty ui op

Most people when asked to go for a pint or coffee would give an excuse if they didn't want to, True or false they'd give a reason. People on here, are off their heads if they think you can just say "NO" to a wedding invite.

You can accuse those who "GO" out of obligation of all kinds of things but to say, "simply don't go" is just daft.

About the speeches being boring, if that was the only problem it wouldn't be that bad but you'll always get some old codger standing up blowing **** about how mighty his own daughter is. Talk about crass.

You force almost everyone you know to spend a fortune on your "big day" and then you force them to listen to your father and partner boosting about you.

.......

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Diemos

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Opened the letter box this morning, and discovered an invite to the wedding of my nephew and his girlfriend. Has put me in bad mood as a result. I’ll have to go, but I’d rather get a 5-fingered prostate exam than attend to be honest. Does anyone actually enjoy Irish weddings?

They take all day. They cost a fortune. The food is nearly always shîte, you end up talking to cousins and other relations you hate, the speeches are always the same, you can’t get too drunk or the extended family will be gossiping about you, you don’t know who you’ll be sitting beside, the music is terrible. Just a really bad day out. The only positive is that there’s a decent chance you’ll get the ride at the end of the night.

When will start having w mature conversation about this? No one wants to go to these dreadful affairs only Bridezilla and her bridesmaids. Fiasco.

You seem to care an awful lot about the opinion of people you don't like.......

irelandrover

....... wrote: »

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Thats bad form in my opinion. That means the couple will have booked and paid for your seat. If you don't want to go just decline the invite.

Graces7

My first Irish wedding.. I was looking round a church when they told me there was a wedding about to start; hence the lovely if unusual flowers.. (Her bouquet was a single hydrangea blossom)

They invited me to stay so I slipped into a corner at the back.

The best man was the couple's 9 year old son.

A youngster played a piece on the trumpet.

A lady sang ... the church was of course packed.

It was,, interesting. I knew the priest so chatted then slipped quietly away.

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irelandrover

....... wrote: »

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If it happens legimately then its fine. If you know months in advance that you arent going and only pull out on the day then thats bad form. if you pay on the number attending you are paying for the seat.

LirW

Another thing outside of the city is that the popular venues, especially in the peak season and on weekends require a very high minimum number number of guests (between 80 and 100).
So if you want to book one of the hotels that do all in service you can't really have a small wedding with let's say 50 people. You might get away with it if you're doing it in a Tuesday on January if you negotiate well but generally it really limits your option.
The remaining options are: Go to Dublin, pick one of the venue that focus on small parties (they're horrifyingly expensive) and you often have to order a separate caterer or do it very low key in a local function room and sort out all the suppliers yourself.

When we started looking around we estimated 50 people max in the wider area where we live and boy, was I surprised how limited all in options were, so we scrapped numbers and went to Dublin.

meeeeh

....... wrote: »

If you are not going to go you would get away with having a family emergency on the day sooner than youd get away with saying you dont want to go months in advance.

That's the sort of cowardly spineless behaviour I can't stand. Unless there is actual emergency have the decency to show up. I would have no problem with people declining ahead and we had a few of those because half of the guests had to travel (although not as many cancelled as expected). The only cancellation that annoyed me was someone who we knew won't be going because ge doesn't like to travel but kept going on about how he is going, could we please send him hotel and flight options and he will book. After sending out information and links twice we stopped bothering. A week before wedding he finally managed to say he is not going. Just be upfront, say yes or no and that's it. Without explanations, long dragged out stories and excuses that everyone can see through.

LirW

Edit: baby hijacked keyboard5r4r

theyoungchap

Another thing - if you don't want to go, tell the couple well in advance. Don't make up some rubbish excuse the day before, it will completely screw up their seating plan. I was looking at mine the morning of my wedding due to a couple of (presumably, benefit of the doubt but I don't care either) genuine drop outs.

valoren

I have an idea for a new business. A catering company that will deliver 'grub' at ridiculous-o-clock to Wedding venues to drink soaked and starving wedding guests

The company logo would be a 'Bat Signal' with the silhouette of a slice of pizza.

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meeeeh

valoren wrote: »

I have an idea for a new business. A catering company that will deliver 'grub' at ridiculous-o-clock to Wedding venues to drink soaked and starving wedding guests

I think that might be a bit overstated. I was hungry before dinner couple of times but nothing too bad, just needing to watch what and how much I was drinking. More or less all weddings I've been to had after midnight food.

hynesie08

valoren wrote: »

I have an idea for a new business. A catering company that will deliver 'grub' at ridiculous-o-clock to Wedding venues to drink soaked and starving wedding guests

The company logo would be a 'Bat Signal' with the silhouette of a slice of pizza.

So...............Deliveroo

DaeryssaOne

This thread has turned into a competition of who had the plainest / smallest / shortest wedding. We get it, some of you don't enjoy weddings but there seems to be a snobbery here looking down on people who enjoy inviting a big gang and having a party.

My own wedding wasn't a very big one (in that there wasn't random neighbours invited etc, just close friends and family) but I really enjoy attending friends weddings where we can all catch up and hang out for a couple of days. If it weren't for weddings we'd barely see each other and it's lovely for the bride and groom to feel special and loved by those most important to them for a short time, what's the harm in it?

inforfun

The Dutch word for wedding is "huwelijk"
There are only 2 words in Dutch that rhyme with "huwelijk" which are "gruwelijk" and "afschuwelijk"

1st one means horrible and the 2nd means horrid.

That cant be a coincidence.

meeeeh

....... wrote: »

How would you know?

If someone cancels on the morning of - do you go to their home to check if there really was a family emergency?

No I would not check, why would I? I would believe them. But I would never cancel last minute unless I had to and from my experience vast majority of people don't. It's not about being caught it's about being decent person.

LirW

DaeryssaOne wrote: »

This thread has turned into a competition of who had the plainest / smallest / shortest wedding. We get it, some of you don't enjoy weddings but there seems to be a snobbery here looking down on people who enjoy inviting a big gang and having a party.

My own wedding wasn't a very big one (in that there wasn't random neighbours invited etc, just close friends and family) but I really enjoy attending friends weddings where we can all catch up and hang out for a couple of days. If it weren't for weddings we'd barely see each other and it's lovely for the bride and groom to feel special and loved by those most important to them for a short time, what's the harm in it?

Someone mentioned it before, people just got very cynical about weddings, because they all follow a very similar timeline, have very similar gimmicks, similar food and so on. Throw in the ridiculous etiquette about presents, and there is no denying it exists, was just reading earlier on a FB group about a ton of girls giving out about people that wouldn't give gifts or an envelope with money, you have the perfect recipe for something that is sour for many people.
There is a lot of superficial attributes towards it, you need to dress really fancy, in many cases you have to drive to the middle of nowhere and then go to another place equally remote.

I've been to weddings back home and I've been to Irish weddings and Irish weddings for me are just a bit OTT, they are rarely laid back with the strict timelines to follow. Maybe I see that differently as someone not from Ireland.

Maybe a lot of people also prefer a "less is more" affair.

People are perfectly entitled to have their dream day, the cost of a big day though is someone people are equally cynical about.