nav[aria-label="Primary Navigation"] { padding: 0; & ul { list-style: none; width: 100%; display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: start; align-items: start; gap: 30px; padding: 0; & li { margin: 0; } & ul li { list-style: none; } } }

Child Item

Weddings - a terrible day out.

JohnnyFlash

Opened the letter box this morning, and discovered an invite to the wedding of my nephew and his girlfriend. Has put me in bad mood as a result. I’ll have to go, but I’d rather get a 5-fingered prostate exam than attend to be honest. Does anyone actually enjoy Irish weddings?

They take all day. They cost a fortune. The food is nearly always shîte, you end up talking to cousins and other relations you hate, the speeches are always the same, you can’t get too drunk or the extended family will be gossiping about you, you don’t know who you’ll be sitting beside, the music is terrible. Just a really bad day out. The only positive is that there’s a decent chance you’ll get the ride at the end of the night.

When will start having w mature conversation about this? No one wants to go to these dreadful affairs only Bridezilla and her bridesmaids. Fiasco.

Find more posts tagged with

Quick Links

Comments

suicide_circus

The standard irish wedding is pure ****e. Nothing to recommend it.

erica74

HeidiHeidi wrote: »

You don't HAVE to go, you know.

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

You kind of do though. And you have to give 150 as a gift if you’re single, or 300 if you’re a couple. They are nearly always a complete waste of a day. As I said, the only positive is that there’s a decent chance you’ll chat up a bird later on in the evenings, and retire to the massively overpriced room for a bit of the beast with two backs.

But you really don't have to go though.

People who think they "have to" go and "have to" give x amount of money are part of the problem. Stop going to weddings you don't want to go to. Stop giving money you don't want to give. And the problem goes away.

Cousins and the like don't invite me to weddings or hen parties or any other absolute bollox event because they know I won't go.
The last wedding invitation I got from a cousin was nearly 10 years ago. This big fancy envelope arrived to my house, inside was a big scroll with these plastic things on either end so you could open up the scroll. The invitation was all this Mary's parents and John's parents invite you to celebrate blah blah blah, rsvp here, website there, lists of pre and post wedding activities - what are these people on??? I didn't even know who Mary and John were. I mean, if you don't know the people, why are they even inviting you?! Texted my sister, it turned out to be a cousin I hadn't seen since in around 10 years. That invitation got thrown in the fire, they wasted their money there. They invited 250 people to that wedding, imagine the cost of the invitations alone?!
If people can afford to have big weddings, great, but the vast majority of people have a big wedding funded by loans, credit cards and on the hopes of lots of cash gifts from people.

rawn wrote: »

This!! There was something on the Spin103.8. Facebook page recently about some woman who lost her house due to the debt racked up from attending weddings, because it would be a social "faux pas" not to attend.

Just let that sink in for a moment...

And you believed that story:pac:

Odyssey 2005

JohnnyFlash your certainly not. Save everyone the bother and decline the invitation

murpho999

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

Most people are saying that in general they find modern weddings long, impersonal and very expensive affairs and they don't really enjoy them. That is not miserable, anymore than someone saying that they don't like night clubs, going to the theatre or whatever is miserable.
Going to the wedding and spending the entire day going around with a long face and complaining about everything would be miserable, but I've never seen a guest do that, even the ones I know would really rather not be there.

I was referring more to the OP's attitude in their original post where he/she's just complaining about everything and comes across as very miserable. All food is poor etc.

I stand by that completely.

I do get how people find weddings nowadays are changed. Between weekend stags and hens, often abroad, two day affairs with follow up BBQs, it has become too much and a lot of it is for show and keeping up with the Jones's but you can still control what you go to or don't go to.

For example I had an invite last year and skipped hotel the night before and after and just went to the one day event. Enjoyed it and went about my own way the next day whilst they carried on with a BBQ.

Apiarist

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

you can’t get too drunk

Wait, what?

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

you can’t get too drunk or the extended family will be gossiping about you

The way I see it, they will gossip about you anyway. Think about it. If you do not drink, one could assume that you have something to hide. Stands to reason that whatever you are hiding is more embarrassing than being seeing drunk. And now the imagination runs wild

Use reverse psychology -- get drunk, make a scene. You will have something benign for your relatives to gossip about. You may even be excluded from further weddings! Win/win situation.

GhostyMcGhost

rawn wrote: »

This!! There was something on the Spin103.8. Facebook page recently about some woman who lost her house due to the debt racked up from attending weddings, because it would be a social "faux pas" not to attend.

Just let that sink in for a moment...

I did let it sink in and it’s still downright stupid. No saving these people, best not to give them attention

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/woman-debt-friends-weddings-home-lost-this-morning-georgina-childs-a8320011.html

c68zapdsm5i1ru

valoren wrote: »

You say you have to go and that is understandable, you don't want to fall out with your brother/sister.
It's one of those occasions where you just grin and bear it. Alternatively, just go to the wedding ceremony itself, get your mug in a picture and just feck off after it. Let your sibling know that you'll be there for that but to let their kid know not to have you down for the meal.

If you get challenged about that tell them you're going to the wedding and that you couldn't give a ****e about the meal, band, cocktail sausages etc.

My elderly mother started to do this a few years ago. If she was invited to a niece or nephew's wedding she would go to the Church and back to the hotel for the drink reception and then head off. Her logic was that the young couple couldn't care less if their old aunt stayed for the meal or not, and by showing up she was keeping her own sibling happy.

Steve F

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

Most people are saying that in general they find modern weddings long, impersonal and very expensive affairs and they don't really enjoy them. That is not miserable, anymore than someone saying that they don't like night clubs, going to the theatre or whatever is miserable.
Going to the wedding and spending the entire day going around with a long face and complaining about everything would be miserable, but I've never seen a guest do that, even the ones I know would really rather not be there.

Wait till we bump into each other at a wedding

c68zapdsm5i1ru

murpho999 wrote: »

I'm not arrogant.

I have been to some awful weddings and I have been to some good ones.

All depends on how it's done and what people you are with.

I just wouldn't deem all weddings to be a pain and bad food etc. That is just miserable.

It's also very easy not to go to a wedding, just say you can't go.

Most people are saying that in general they find modern weddings long, impersonal and very expensive affairs and they don't really enjoy them. That is not miserable, anymore than someone saying that they don't like night clubs, going to the theatre or whatever is miserable.
Going to the wedding and spending the entire day going around with a long face and complaining about everything would be miserable, but I've never seen a guest do that, even the ones I know would really rather not be there.

valoren

You say you have to go and that is understandable, you don't want to fall out with your brother/sister.
It's one of those occasions where you just grin and bear it. Alternatively, just go to the wedding ceremony itself, get your mug in a picture and just feck off after it, your gift will cover the ****ty meal anyway. If you get challenged just say you took ill.

murpho999

Cornelius Crow wrote: »

I was bridesmaid for my friend last year, they made their invitations look like a summons, it was quite amusing

Mmm. I had that too, wonder was it the same wedding?

Bank holiday weekend in Gorey?

LirW

Don't hate weddings per se, but standard Irish weddings do my head in. Big, impersonal summonings, you don't get to spend any time with the people you actually travel for and spend a load of money. The standard food is usually awful. Most big hotel reception rooms are tacky and look like they haven't been re-done in about 30 years (par the new LED lights in either pink or purple). The horrendous amount of fake tan, they all look orange, I swear.
The present attitude, the resentment that builds up when people don't get their preferred amount or present. or the next level, the expectation to fund their wedding from gifts.
And my personal favourite: Parents of the bridal party inviting their old pals that have seen bride/groom when they've been babies, yet they show up. I wouldn't wanna have anyone I've never really seen shooing around there and as said guest it would feel pretty strange too.

If you don't wanna go, don't go, your absence isn't going to stand out, save yourself the money and write a card instead with a Harvey Normal voucher or 50 quid in if you're close to them.

murpho999

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

It's not that simple.

Also, just because a lot of people don't enjoy something you happen to enjoy doesn't make them 'miserable'. Thinking so does make you rather arrogant though.

I'm not arrogant.

I have been to some awful weddings and I have been to some good ones.

All depends on how it's done and what people you are with.

I just wouldn't deem all weddings to be a pain and bad food etc. That is just miserable.

It's also very easy not to go to a wedding, just say you can't go.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

I definitely think weddings have got out of hand and a lot of B&Gs seem to think they're going to be starring in Hello magazine or something.

Weddings used to be a nice celebration of a couple starting out on their life together, attended by family and close friends and involving a ceremony, a meal, a couple of hours of partying followed by the departure of the B&G and the guests going home.

Nowadays a lot of them have become big competitive events, each one trying to match the one before and spending ridiculous money on chair coverings, photo booths, sweet carts, ice cream vans etc or dragging all their guests to some out of the way location or foreign country, with no thought for the expense and inconvenience that puts them through.

It's easy to say 'just don't go', but it's not always that simple. There can be hurt feelings, family situations etc that can make it very very difficult to decline some invitations. Years ago, that didn't matter. People just sighed and resigned themselves to spending their Saturday at a wedding when they'd rather be home, and having to fork out for a new outfit and a toaster. But nowadays you're often having to resign yourself to spending an absolute fortune on plane tickets, hotel rooms, cash gifts etc. You also have to resign yourself to wasting several days of precious annual leave or spending your annual holiday in a destination not of your own choice.

Steve F

qwerty ui op wrote: »

It's not unusual for some Irish people to be averaging 12/13 weddings a year, even more if you're in a relationship, generally from around 24 to 35 years old, is the worst time. When they start to die down and you look back you couldn't tell one from the other. IT's all just one massive waste of time (hard earned free time) and money.
And true, by law you actually don't have to go but the issue is that, many are under massive pressure to go or risk falling out with someone.

Trust me at least 50% 90% of the guests don't want to be there.

Fixed your typo

iamwhoiam

Cornelius Crow wrote: »

I was bridesmaid for my friend last year, they made their invitations look like a summons, it was quite amusing

How was it worded as a matter of interest ?

qwerty ui op

murpho999 wrote: »

You’re obviously not close to these people as the invite seemed to come as a surprise to you. So why go?

I’d guess you’ve been invited out of politeness as you’re family but they won’t be devastated if you don’t go.

The rest of your post just makes you sound very miserable.

Been to foreign weddings and I think Ireland does weddings very well , a real sense of occasion, people dress up well etc. Also, some great venues out there with some very good food offerings.

It's not unusual for some Irish people to be averaging 12/13 weddings a year, even more if you're in a relationship, generally from around 24 to 35 years old, is the worst time. When they start to die down and you look back you couldn't tell one from the other. IT's all just one massive waste of time (hard earned free time) and money.
And true, by law you actually don't have to go but the issue is that, many are under massive pressure to go or risk falling out with someone.

Trust me at least 50% of the guests don't want to be there.

Steve F

The true meaning of a wedding has been lost now(bit like Christmas)
Commercialized to f+++!!!

Conor Bourke

ballsymchugh wrote: »

getting married in the summer. toying with the idea of putting

'you are summonsed to the wedding...' on the top of the invite.

I was bridesmaid for my friend last year, they made their invitations look like a summons, it was quite amusing

irelandrover

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Definitely not miserable, folks. Widely seen as a gas man, quite a hit with the ladies, can drink 12 pints without breaking a sweat.

Weddings just aren’t much fun. I think it’s time people started speaking out about this important topic. To be honest, a decent funeral wake is better than a bad wedding. And far less expensive.

Why can't you just say no?

If you didnt expect the invite then you arent that close, and they actually don't want you there but invited you out of politeness. Everyone is happier if you dont go.

iamwhoiam

rawn wrote: »

This!! There was something on the Spin103.8. Facebook page recently about some woman who lost her house due to the debt racked up from attending weddings, because it would be a social "faux pas" not to attend.

Just let that sink in for a moment...

More fool her

JohnnyFlash

Definitely not miserable, folks. Widely seen as a gas man, quite a hit with the ladies, can drink 12 pints without breaking a sweat.

Weddings just aren’t much fun. I think it’s time people started speaking out about this important topic. To be honest, a decent funeral wake is better than a bad wedding. And far less expensive.

rawn

theteal wrote:

Fcuk me, grow some balls people and just don't go. Also stop giving stupid amounts of money, the "done thing" will change when people cop the fcuk on

This!! There was something on the Spin103.8. Facebook page recently about some woman who lost her house due to the debt racked up from attending weddings, because it would be a social "faux pas" not to attend.

Just let that sink in for a moment...

Steve F

murpho999 wrote: »

Yes; you can call me Frank!

Now where did I leave my lizard brooch!

c68zapdsm5i1ru

murpho999 wrote: »

Fixed your post.

If you don't enjoy weddings then simply don't go.

It's not that simple.

Also, just because a lot of people don't enjoy something you happen to enjoy doesn't make them 'miserable'. Thinking so does make you rather arrogant though.

theteal

Fcuk me, grow some balls people and just don't go. Also stop giving stupid amounts of money, the "done thing" will change when people cop the fcuk on

murpho999

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

I don't think he sounds miserable. He's just echoing the views of many, many miserable people.

Fixed your post.

If you don't enjoy weddings then simply don't go.

jk23

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

I hate them, people are invited purely to pay for the bride/grooms big day out. They cost a fortune between clothing, accommodation (if they're far away) drinks/spending money and then the obligatory gift for the cúnt that invited you.

I'd actually prefer if friends/family sent out a letter and said 'we're getting married but we don't want a stupid big wedding day but need a bit of money to pay for it so you don't have to do anything but a small gift would be greatly be appreciated" I'd send them €50 and a thank you note for not having to endure the muck of a wedding reception.

This is what I do. Except for close friends or immediately family.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

I do think this business of asking for cash gifts so the guests can pay most of the cost of a big huge extravaganza that half of them don't even want to attend is a bit much. I think it was Eddie Hobbs who first came up with that bit of advice.

murpho999

Steve F wrote: »

You're a wedding planner aren't you &#55357;&#56841;

Yes; you can call me Frank!

Now where did I leave my lizard brooch!