Weddings - a terrible day out.

To be honest, with most couples living together for ages before they get married nowadays and often having started a family and embarked on a joint marriage long before the big day, weddings don't have the special, exciting momentous feel they used to have.

Yet they have got bigger, more extravagant and go on for days!

You’re obviously not close to these people as the invite seemed to come as a surprise to you. So why go?

I’d guess you’ve been invited out of politeness as you’re family but they won’t be devastated if you don’t go.

The rest of your post just makes you sound very miserable.

Been to foreign weddings and I think Ireland does weddings very well , a real sense of occasion, people dress up well etc. Also, some great venues out there with some very good food offerings.

murpho999 wrote: »

You’re obviously not close to these people as the invite seemed to come as a surprise to you. So why go?

I’d guess you’ve been invited out of politeness as you’re family but they won’t be devastated if you don’t go.

The rest of your post just makes you sound very miserable.

Been to foreign weddings and I think Ireland does weddings very well , a real sense of occasion, people dress up well etc. Also, some great venues out there with some very good food offerings.

I don't think he sounds miserable. He's just echoing the views of many, many people.

Lorelli!

yourdeadwright wrote: »

I have one coming up and the missus is Bridesmaid,
I know basically know one but the Bride and my Missus so a day of eating and making small talk with people iv never meet while it costs me a fortune because of course we have to stay for two nights don't we ,

That happened to me before when my oh was Best Man and I didn't know anyone. I got a lot of awkward pity conversations from the grannies and aunties asking me was I ok and stuff

Mostly though, I like going to them and dont find them to be a burden. They are a happy occasion.

verycool

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

To be honest, with most couples living together for ages before they get married nowadays and often having started a family and embarked on a joint marriage long before the big day, weddings don't have the special, exciting momentous feel they used to have.

Yet they have got bigger, more extravagant and go on for days!

Or as I like to call it, a "show of farce".

Lovely day out and you're made to listen to some fella tell us his imaginary friend is SOO happy now that you get tax breaks while you ponder what's for dinner, and if there's time to stop at McD's en route.

murpho999 wrote: »

You’re obviously not close to these people as the invite seemed to come as a surprise to you. So why go?

I’d guess you’ve been invited out of politeness as you’re family but they won’t be devastated if you don’t go.

The rest of your post just makes you sound very miserable.

Been to foreign weddings and I think Ireland does weddings very well , a real sense of occasion, people dress up well etc. Also, some great venues out there with some very good food offerings.

You're a wedding planner aren't you ðŸ˜‰

Idle Passerby

Then don't go! Couples are often guilted into inviting people they couldn't give a toss about. They are probably hoping you can't come so they can cross some names off the obligation invite list and invite their own friends instead!

meeeeh

Among my friends and in general where I come from only people we keep in contact with are usually invited and not some schoolmate you haven't seen for 10 years. Most of the weddings on my side were the weddings I wanted to attend because I can catch up with all of my friends which is handy considering I live in another country. There was only one cousin's wedding that was a bit of a hassle. In Ireland we were maybe to two or three weddings that were a bit of chore but mostly it's people to whose weddings we actually want to go and have fun at. I am fine going to weddings, I hated organizing my own though and it's huge relief the whole thing is done and dusted. The day itself was fine but I couldn't care less about the ceremony, documentation, table decorations and all the hassle that goes with it.

Cee-Jay-Cee

I hate them, people are invited purely to pay for the bride/grooms big day out. They cost a fortune between clothing, accommodation (if they're far away) drinks/spending money and then the obligatory gift for the cúnt that invited you.

I'd actually prefer if friends/family sent out a letter and said 'we're getting married but we don't want a stupid big wedding day but need a bit of money to pay for it so you don't have to do anything but a small gift would be greatly be appreciated" I'd send them €50 and a thank you note for not having to endure the muck of a wedding reception.

GhostyMcGhost

Hector Savage wrote: »

Wedding invites are like a summons.

The invite is the summons

The ceremony is the sentencing

Steve F wrote: »

You're a wedding planner aren't you &#55357;&#56841;

Yes; you can call me Frank!

Now where did I leave my lizard brooch!

I do think this business of asking for cash gifts so the guests can pay most of the cost of a big huge extravaganza that half of them don't even want to attend is a bit much. I think it was Eddie Hobbs who first came up with that bit of advice.

jk23

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

I hate them, people are invited purely to pay for the bride/grooms big day out. They cost a fortune between clothing, accommodation (if they're far away) drinks/spending money and then the obligatory gift for the cúnt that invited you.

I'd actually prefer if friends/family sent out a letter and said 'we're getting married but we don't want a stupid big wedding day but need a bit of money to pay for it so you don't have to do anything but a small gift would be greatly be appreciated" I'd send them €50 and a thank you note for not having to endure the muck of a wedding reception.

This is what I do. Except for close friends or immediately family.

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

I don't think he sounds miserable. He's just echoing the views of many, many miserable people.

Fixed your post.

If you don't enjoy weddings then simply don't go.

theteal

Fcuk me, grow some balls people and just don't go. Also stop giving stupid amounts of money, the "done thing" will change when people cop the fcuk on

murpho999 wrote: »

Fixed your post.

If you don't enjoy weddings then simply don't go.

It's not that simple.

Also, just because a lot of people don't enjoy something you happen to enjoy doesn't make them 'miserable'. Thinking so does make you rather arrogant though.

murpho999 wrote: »

Yes; you can call me Frank!

Now where did I leave my lizard brooch!

rawn

theteal wrote:

Fcuk me, grow some balls people and just don't go. Also stop giving stupid amounts of money, the "done thing" will change when people cop the fcuk on

This!! There was something on the Spin103.8. Facebook page recently about some woman who lost her house due to the debt racked up from attending weddings, because it would be a social "faux pas" not to attend.

Just let that sink in for a moment...

JohnnyFlash

Definitely not miserable, folks. Widely seen as a gas man, quite a hit with the ladies, can drink 12 pints without breaking a sweat.

Weddings just aren’t much fun. I think it’s time people started speaking out about this important topic. To be honest, a decent funeral wake is better than a bad wedding. And far less expensive.

iamwhoiam

rawn wrote: »

This!! There was something on the Spin103.8. Facebook page recently about some woman who lost her house due to the debt racked up from attending weddings, because it would be a social "faux pas" not to attend.

Just let that sink in for a moment...

More fool her

irelandrover

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Definitely not miserable, folks. Widely seen as a gas man, quite a hit with the ladies, can drink 12 pints without breaking a sweat.

Weddings just aren’t much fun. I think it’s time people started speaking out about this important topic. To be honest, a decent funeral wake is better than a bad wedding. And far less expensive.

Why can't you just say no?

If you didnt expect the invite then you arent that close, and they actually don't want you there but invited you out of politeness. Everyone is happier if you dont go.

Conor Bourke

ballsymchugh wrote: »

getting married in the summer. toying with the idea of putting

'you are summonsed to the wedding...' on the top of the invite.

I was bridesmaid for my friend last year, they made their invitations look like a summons, it was quite amusing

The true meaning of a wedding has been lost now(bit like Christmas)
Commercialized to f+++!!!

qwerty ui op

murpho999 wrote: »

You’re obviously not close to these people as the invite seemed to come as a surprise to you. So why go?

I’d guess you’ve been invited out of politeness as you’re family but they won’t be devastated if you don’t go.

The rest of your post just makes you sound very miserable.

Been to foreign weddings and I think Ireland does weddings very well , a real sense of occasion, people dress up well etc. Also, some great venues out there with some very good food offerings.

It's not unusual for some Irish people to be averaging 12/13 weddings a year, even more if you're in a relationship, generally from around 24 to 35 years old, is the worst time. When they start to die down and you look back you couldn't tell one from the other. IT's all just one massive waste of time (hard earned free time) and money.
And true, by law you actually don't have to go but the issue is that, many are under massive pressure to go or risk falling out with someone.

Trust me at least 50% of the guests don't want to be there.

iamwhoiam

Cornelius Crow wrote: »

I was bridesmaid for my friend last year, they made their invitations look like a summons, it was quite amusing

How was it worded as a matter of interest ?

qwerty ui op wrote: »

It's not unusual for some Irish people to be averaging 12/13 weddings a year, even more if you're in a relationship, generally from around 24 to 35 years old, is the worst time. When they start to die down and you look back you couldn't tell one from the other. IT's all just one massive waste of time (hard earned free time) and money.
And true, by law you actually don't have to go but the issue is that, many are under massive pressure to go or risk falling out with someone.

Trust me at least 50% 90% of the guests don't want to be there.

Fixed your typo

I definitely think weddings have got out of hand and a lot of B&Gs seem to think they're going to be starring in Hello magazine or something.

Weddings used to be a nice celebration of a couple starting out on their life together, attended by family and close friends and involving a ceremony, a meal, a couple of hours of partying followed by the departure of the B&G and the guests going home.

Nowadays a lot of them have become big competitive events, each one trying to match the one before and spending ridiculous money on chair coverings, photo booths, sweet carts, ice cream vans etc or dragging all their guests to some out of the way location or foreign country, with no thought for the expense and inconvenience that puts them through.

It's easy to say 'just don't go', but it's not always that simple. There can be hurt feelings, family situations etc that can make it very very difficult to decline some invitations. Years ago, that didn't matter. People just sighed and resigned themselves to spending their Saturday at a wedding when they'd rather be home, and having to fork out for a new outfit and a toaster. But nowadays you're often having to resign yourself to spending an absolute fortune on plane tickets, hotel rooms, cash gifts etc. You also have to resign yourself to wasting several days of precious annual leave or spending your annual holiday in a destination not of your own choice.