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Lahvlahn: The "Snow Show Like a Joe Show" Edition - 01/03 two-eighteen so to speak

wnolan1992

Ireland is scheduled to be buried under snow at 4pm tomorrow, so here's one last Liveline thread for the road. Enjoy.

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Roger_007

BarryD2 wrote: »

More than likely, he'll be delayed going home.

Ah, de wimmin drivers. He sized her up, their eyes met and she tried to run him over.

This ME 2 thing is going too far?

Uncharted

This is appalling radio....

2smiggy

we won't be able to walk around shortly without a helmet the way things are going

meep

Joe indicates policy is up to the guberment. Just like the versatis patches, so to speak?

Dan Jaman

Ten Pin wrote: »

Is there a helmet size to fit Joe

Of course...

Del.Monte

Bet he was doing his best to imagine it though.

BarryD2

I cycle a bit, don't wear a helmet and don't want to wear one or a high visibility jacket or whatever else yer one demands. Prefer to use cop on and take responsibility for my own safety.

2smiggy

Ronan Hutchinson on social media ?

so they now admit they have someone trawling through twitter and facebook looking for misery daily

BarryD2

2smiggy wrote: »

we won't be able to walk around shortly without a helmet the way things are going

True, it'll soon be compulsory for all pedestrians. Then you'll have to wear it in bed in case a meteorite or ICBM lands on your gaff.

meep

2smiggy wrote: »

Ronan Hutchinson on social media ?

so they now admit they have someone trawling through twitter and facebook looking for inflicting misery daily

FYP

Dan Jaman

BarryD2 wrote: »

I cycle a bit, don't wear a helmet and don't want to wear one or a high visibility jacket or whatever else yer one demands. Prefer to use cop on and take responsibility for my own safety.

Well, yes.
While I accept there's some sort of case for helmets, in nearly every place they've been made compulsory, the overall impact has been to reduce cycling numbers, which might not be a good thing. A close examination of helmet use reveals that they don't much affect overall numbers of serious head injuries, as most cycle helmets are so flimsy as to be useless in all but glancing blows.
As for fluoro vests, anyone who really wants to can wear one, or simply choose to look like a multi-coloured Lycra freak, which seems to be more acceptable in a weird way.
Lights, I have no qualms about making compulsory, but only in use at night, not to be fitted to every bike that won't be used in the dark.

ButtersSuki

Looks like I missed another classic.....not.

BPKS

ButtersSuki wrote: »

Looks like I missed another classic.....not.

The man who was tortured by Jonathan Dowdall for 2 hours was tortured by Joe for an hour.

Odyssey 2005

Uncharted wrote: »

This is appalling radio....

Had to walk away. Truly truly brutal...

ButtersSuki

BPKS wrote: »

The man who was tortured by Jonathan Dowdall for 2 hours was tortured by Joe for an hour.

What? Which was wurser so to speak? Did he play him a “Best of De FunnyFryday Crew” cd?

somesoldiers

ButtersSuki wrote: »

What? Which was wurser so to speak? Did he play him a “Best of De FunnyFryday Crew” cd?

He subjected the man to listening to his torturer’s voice, multiple times...a new low

Dan Jaman

somesoldiers wrote: »

He subjected the man to listening to his torturer’s voice, multiple times...a new low

It was incredibly gauche and thoroughly ghoulish to have done so, and Joe asking him if it was ok doesn't make it right. That would be my position for a normal caller.
Otoh, given he's a conning twat who got what he deserved, I have not a lot of pity for him.

sligojoek

BPKS wrote: »

The man who was tortured by Jonathan Dowdall for 2 hours was tortured by Joe for an hour.

And so we were we.

Brendan Bendar

sligojoek wrote: »

And so we were we.

You are not wrong.

Jeff2

ButtersSuki wrote: »

What? Which was wurser so to speak? Did he play him a “Best of De FunnyFryday Crew” cd?

It was that riveting that both were speechless most of the time.

Or just a none story.

Jeff2

From what I remember the guy bought a car for about 10k from a garage with a dodgy check and tried to sell it or did sell it.

His LinkedIn profile said he was a baristor.

ButtersSuki

Odyssey 2005 wrote: »

Had to walk away. Truly truly brutal...

At least you were able to walk away caller.....unlike de pooooooer woman who had her leg amputated and dat.....and her story was amputated by Joe twoday too it seems judging by de thread.....it makes you wonder WHOY duz he bodder with de promo at all at all?

Jeff2

ButtersSuki wrote: »

At least you were able to walk away caller.....unlike de pooooooer woman who had her leg amputated and dat.....and her story was amputated by Joe twoday too it seems judging by de thread.....it makes you wonder WHOY duz he bodder with de promo at all at all?

If JD of SF was not involved then I think she would have had a leg in on getting on the show.

ButtersSuki

Jeff2 wrote: »

If JD of SF was not involved then I think she would have had a leg in on getting on the show.

Dare's always tamarra Jeff for Joe to ask
"and how did you feel when you looked down at the bandaged stump where de bottom of your leg and your foot had once been?"
OR
"What did ya do wit yer udder shoe when ya got ta leave de hostible?" OR "I suppose even if you lose a sock in de washing masheen now it's not dat big of a deal is it?"
OR
"de rule dat won't pay you de munny is from WWII. Did you know lots of soldiers lost legs in de war? I sawr it on de mooovie Saving Private Ryan and dat wen day were landing on de beach and dat and de bombs did blow parts of de bhoys legs off and dat. I suppose wen you tink abour it you were in de hostible wen your leg was taken away so to speak and you had access to de Versatis patches for de pain, weren't you lucky really? Back after deeze".

thesandeman

What's the betting he'll ring somebody who once wurked in the Submarine Bar about the Peter Madsen trial in Denmark today?

somesoldiers

Jeff2 wrote: »

From what I remember the guy bought a car for about 10k from a garage with a dodgy check and tried to sell it or did sell it.

His LinkedIn profile said he was a baristor.

Is that a lad that makes coffee so to speak?

Mena Mitty

somesoldiers wrote: »

Is that a lad that makes coffee so to speak?

Yep.

sligojoek

Where was your leg buried?
Do you visit its grave on the anniversary of the accident?

Uncharted

sligojoek wrote: »

Where was your leg buried?
Do you visit its grave on the anniversary of the accident?

Is her name Eilean?

ButtersSuki

Dear Joe/Yew/Aonghus,

As we all know you read de thread and we also all know Joe duz be busy lookin' for de great puns and plays on wurds to entertain us himself during de show, I've saved ye de bodder for twoday. Feel free to use any of the following if you actually have de woman wit de wan leg dat you did tell us in yesterday's promo wood be on yesterday's show before you went off on yet anudder misery tangent to satisfy de deeply disturbing pain and misery fetishes dat do be do be do be do be do be takin' over himself between 13:45 and 15:00 of an afternoon and dat:

What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker?
Hop In
What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Having legs.
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing I ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

Things he'll possibly say twoday (if she's on):

I'm stumped
Put yer best foot forward now, dja heer me petal?
Thanks for your service to yer country
Dja know wat day did wit de udder leg?
We should all stand up and show our admiration for you
You're an inspiration to all of us (whether she did anything of note or not)

And before you have a meltdown and do a full-on Lahv Lahn Rage, de above were almost all taken from sites run by de disabled for de disabled and dat (there's an amputee humour thread on reddit for example). FACT. Day can laugh at demselves and jokes about demselves without crying blasphemy.....dare's a lesson dare and dat.