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Lahvlahn: The "Snow Show Like a Joe Show" Edition - 01/03 two-eighteen so to speak

wnolan1992

Ireland is scheduled to be buried under snow at 4pm tomorrow, so here's one last Liveline thread for the road. Enjoy.

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vicwatson

ButtersSuki wrote: »

Won't be in again twoday callers. Carry on without me so to speak AND EN-JYE YERSELVES NOW....dja heer me?

God bless god bless, say hello to the family now

Uncharted

pc7 wrote: »

Dear lord you know you spend too much time in here when you actually type ‘eyepad’ in a work email.
Thankfully I realized before pressing send and dat, didn’t want the boss asking whoy I can’t be doing de spelling rite and dat.

A-ha! Well spotted caller ! You need to buy yisserself a tyrannosaurus. It's a small buke,kinda like a dick-shun-arry. It's full of de clever wuurds n dat. I do be usin it fer me bukes about dem ded chissellers.

pc7

Dear lord you know you spend too much time in here when you actually type ‘eyepad’ in a work email.
Thankfully I realized before pressing send and dat, didn’t want the boss asking whoy I can’t be doing de spelling rite and dat.

Dan Jaman

[QUOTE=ButtersSuki;106824131

Cyclists again. Shood helmets be compulsory?

[/QUOTE]
I can see Fateen winding this up to be his latest campaign in which nobody who doesn't like the idea will have any clout or sway in the matter. It's got it all - an emotional appeal to "Think of the de poor innocent little childers and dere brains bashed out on de pavements, if only they'd been wearing a Joe'met Brand helmet".
Then there's the Public Purse and Public Safety sides, of course.
Joe's on a win-win with this, as what politician is going to have the guts to tell him to sit down and shut his fat gobshytty cakehole?

ButtersSuki

Uncharted wrote: »

Thanks Butters......Although de pain of not havin you wit us twoday n dat is immense,our shoulders are strong enuf n dat to carry de burrrden. You're a fabulous,amazing,wunnderfull perrrson. Grate grate grate........Mind yisserself pettal........

I KNOW DAT! I KNOW DAT! I KNOW DAT!

:pac:

Uncharted

ButtersSuki wrote: »

Won't be in again twoday callers. Carry on without me so to speak AND EN-JYE YERSELVES NOW....dja heer me?

Thanks Butters......Although de pain of not havin you wit us twoday n dat is immense,our shoulders are strong enuf n dat to carry de burrrden. You're a fabulous,amazing,wunnderfull perrrson. Grate grate grate........Mind yisserself pettal........

ButtersSuki

Won't be in again twoday callers. Carry on without me so to speak AND EN-JYE YERSELVES NOW....dja heer me?

ButtersSuki

De Brand NEW & IMPROVED so to speak 2-18 Joe Duffy Wurkday Calculator and dat:

Wurkdays in 2-18 and dat: 80
Joe Shows: 66
No Show Joe Shows: 14
Breakeens 4 Joe: 14
PBH (de full-time host of de show) Shows: 9
PBH guest appearances and dat: 1
D'Omen Shows: 4
AN Udder Shows: 0
Good Fryday No Show by nobody at all at all: 1

NEW FEATURE SO TO SPEAK:
Fateen's Estimated Fees (De FEF Matrix so to speak) to date dis year: €165,000*
(not including de EXTRA FEES for 3 days of De Beast From De East TV + Radio Simulcast Xtravaganza + likely "Danger Money" for travelling to and from wurk in de snow and dat).

*de fees are calculated at €2,500 per show x days dat Fateen is in so to speak. Dose fees are likely conservative and outdated as day are 2 years old so to speak.
I'm including Good Fryday as a Wurkday as it is not an official Bank Holiday/Holiday Day. Even Pat Kenny is in Newstalk FFS, but no-one in RTE of course of course.

ButtersSuki

POSSIBLY coming up on twoday's show:

TOOOOOSLA again. A powerful, powerful woman was on RTE last night sez Joe. Lahv Lahn raised dis story 2 years ago and dat so to speak sez him modestly.
Cyclists again. Shood helmets be compulsory?

Camp voyis outro? Yeah, yeah.

ButtersSuki

meep wrote: »

Furder evidence, so to speak

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcBUHZS11OY

(apologies for de show linked, by de way, just taught it was very funny and dat)

Fateen wood explode at dat. He'd be shouting "YOU CAN'T SAY DAT! YOU CAN'T SAY DAT!" and wood be in the same angry mode as de toyme he was shouting at Cllr. Seamus Treanor when he displayed his (Fateen) displayed his knowledge and understanding of the phrase "having a canary" which he (Fateen again) somehow took to be in the literal sense in dis case and dat it was a racist comment aimed at a pregnant Nigerian woman who was (in Fateen's moynd) going to give birth to an actual canary....and not a comment aimed at her anger at being driven to Newry in Nordren Ireland as opposed to Dundalk hi in Suddren Ireland for the birth.

meep

ButtersSuki wrote: »

And before you have a meltdown and do a full-on Lahv Lahn Rage, de above were almost all taken from sites run by de disabled for de disabled and dat (there's an amputee humour thread on reddit for example). FACT. Day can laugh at demselves and jokes about demselves without crying blasphemy.....dare's a lesson dare and dat.

Furder evidence, so to speak

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcBUHZS11OY

(apologies for de show linked, by de way, just taught it was very funny and dat)

ButtersSuki

Dear Joe/Yew/Aonghus,

As we all know you read de thread and we also all know Joe duz be busy lookin' for de great puns and plays on wurds to entertain us himself during de show, I've saved ye de bodder for twoday. Feel free to use any of the following if you actually have de woman wit de wan leg dat you did tell us in yesterday's promo wood be on yesterday's show before you went off on yet anudder misery tangent to satisfy de deeply disturbing pain and misery fetishes dat do be do be do be do be do be takin' over himself between 13:45 and 15:00 of an afternoon and dat:

What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker?
Hop In
What’s better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Having legs.
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing I ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg
What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

Things he'll possibly say twoday (if she's on):

I'm stumped
Put yer best foot forward now, dja heer me petal?
Thanks for your service to yer country
Dja know wat day did wit de udder leg?
We should all stand up and show our admiration for you
You're an inspiration to all of us (whether she did anything of note or not)

And before you have a meltdown and do a full-on Lahv Lahn Rage, de above were almost all taken from sites run by de disabled for de disabled and dat (there's an amputee humour thread on reddit for example). FACT. Day can laugh at demselves and jokes about demselves without crying blasphemy.....dare's a lesson dare and dat.

Uncharted

sligojoek wrote: »

Where was your leg buried?
Do you visit its grave on the anniversary of the accident?

Is her name Eilean?

sligojoek

Where was your leg buried?
Do you visit its grave on the anniversary of the accident?

Mena Mitty

somesoldiers wrote: »

Is that a lad that makes coffee so to speak?

Yep.

somesoldiers

Jeff2 wrote: »

From what I remember the guy bought a car for about 10k from a garage with a dodgy check and tried to sell it or did sell it.

His LinkedIn profile said he was a baristor.

Is that a lad that makes coffee so to speak?

thesandeman

What's the betting he'll ring somebody who once wurked in the Submarine Bar about the Peter Madsen trial in Denmark today?

ButtersSuki

Jeff2 wrote: »

If JD of SF was not involved then I think she would have had a leg in on getting on the show.

Dare's always tamarra Jeff for Joe to ask
"and how did you feel when you looked down at the bandaged stump where de bottom of your leg and your foot had once been?"
OR
"What did ya do wit yer udder shoe when ya got ta leave de hostible?" OR "I suppose even if you lose a sock in de washing masheen now it's not dat big of a deal is it?"
OR
"de rule dat won't pay you de munny is from WWII. Did you know lots of soldiers lost legs in de war? I sawr it on de mooovie Saving Private Ryan and dat wen day were landing on de beach and dat and de bombs did blow parts of de bhoys legs off and dat. I suppose wen you tink abour it you were in de hostible wen your leg was taken away so to speak and you had access to de Versatis patches for de pain, weren't you lucky really? Back after deeze".

Jeff2

ButtersSuki wrote: »

At least you were able to walk away caller.....unlike de pooooooer woman who had her leg amputated and dat.....and her story was amputated by Joe twoday too it seems judging by de thread.....it makes you wonder WHOY duz he bodder with de promo at all at all?

If JD of SF was not involved then I think she would have had a leg in on getting on the show.

ButtersSuki

Odyssey 2005 wrote: »

Had to walk away. Truly truly brutal...

At least you were able to walk away caller.....unlike de pooooooer woman who had her leg amputated and dat.....and her story was amputated by Joe twoday too it seems judging by de thread.....it makes you wonder WHOY duz he bodder with de promo at all at all?

Jeff2

From what I remember the guy bought a car for about 10k from a garage with a dodgy check and tried to sell it or did sell it.

His LinkedIn profile said he was a baristor.

Jeff2

ButtersSuki wrote: »

What? Which was wurser so to speak? Did he play him a “Best of De FunnyFryday Crew” cd?

It was that riveting that both were speechless most of the time.

Or just a none story.

Brendan Bendar

sligojoek wrote: »

And so we were we.

You are not wrong.

sligojoek

BPKS wrote: »

The man who was tortured by Jonathan Dowdall for 2 hours was tortured by Joe for an hour.

And so we were we.

Dan Jaman

somesoldiers wrote: »

He subjected the man to listening to his torturer’s voice, multiple times...a new low

It was incredibly gauche and thoroughly ghoulish to have done so, and Joe asking him if it was ok doesn't make it right. That would be my position for a normal caller.
Otoh, given he's a conning twat who got what he deserved, I have not a lot of pity for him.

somesoldiers

ButtersSuki wrote: »

What? Which was wurser so to speak? Did he play him a “Best of De FunnyFryday Crew” cd?

He subjected the man to listening to his torturer’s voice, multiple times...a new low

ButtersSuki

BPKS wrote: »

The man who was tortured by Jonathan Dowdall for 2 hours was tortured by Joe for an hour.

What? Which was wurser so to speak? Did he play him a “Best of De FunnyFryday Crew” cd?

Odyssey 2005

Uncharted wrote: »

This is appalling radio....

Had to walk away. Truly truly brutal...

BPKS

ButtersSuki wrote: »

Looks like I missed another classic.....not.

The man who was tortured by Jonathan Dowdall for 2 hours was tortured by Joe for an hour.

ButtersSuki

Looks like I missed another classic.....not.