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Lahvlahn: The "Snow Show Like a Joe Show" Edition - 01/03 two-eighteen so to speak

wnolan1992

Ireland is scheduled to be buried under snow at 4pm tomorrow, so here's one last Liveline thread for the road. Enjoy.

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Beechwoodspark

Purrr eh ina booooke

BPKS

I'm going to rush out and buy that buke

vicwatson

Is it going to be printed in Germany?

zell12

There is a BUKE due

McDermotX

Rock of Cashel.

That'll look great in the movie adaptation.

Me arse.

Del.Monte

A buke no less - printed in Poland no doubt.

Hector Bellend

Folklore project.

That explains it

Beechwoodspark

Keep da faith terry

BPKS

Stories is fcukin right

Dan Jaman

Beechwoodspark wrote: »

Purrr eh ina booooke

De Crate Xcape.

Did I hear that right, at the end? Christie spent the next two years in drag?

zell12

A transgender boy?

Uncharted

Folklore is right...... absolute head the ball.

Thanks indeed sez Joe..... ffs.

vicwatson

It's so obivous Duffy was talking/socialising with this dude over the weekend

BPKS

Jesus Christ, Game of Thrones is only trotting after Terry and his tales.

zell12

Yew Ormond presides over this crap
What a diabolical show

Rock Lesnar

A couple of oh my gods, a few incredibles and that was it for the last 20mins, what a great host he is, incredible

dvcireland

Louie has joined the Liveline Research Department.

ButtersSuki

Just another bizarreo day in Bizarreo Wurldid I see from the thread.....:rolleyes:

Uncharted

ButtersSuki wrote: »

Just another bizarreo day in Bizarreo Wurldid I see from the thread.....:rolleyes:

Woeful show. Absolute stinker

thecretinhop

dvcireland wrote: »

Louie has joined the Liveline Research Department.

wow it was worth show to see dat

honeybear

Was listening to caller near show end-would love to have counted how many times he said “joe”.

ButtersSuki

dvcireland wrote: »

Louie has joined the Liveline Research Department.

Jaysis Fateen was much skinnier when datwas filmed.......I didn’t know he smoked either.

Wat was wit de accent dough? Was he putting on De posh voyis for de Brits as usual?

BPKS

honeybear wrote: »

Was listening to caller near show end-would love to have counted how many times he said “joe”.

It was definitely more than 100. And I'm being dead serious.

Brendan Bendar

honeybear wrote: »

Was listening to caller near show end-would love to have counted how many times he said “joe”.

Must have been a working class Dub , so.

honeybear

BPKS wrote: »

It was definitely more than 100. And I'm being dead serious.

I'd listen back, but think I'd lose count! It was like a nervous twitch-imagine if it became permanent!

ButtersSuki

ButtersSuki wrote: »

Ronan playing "Brush up your Shakespeare"....regular listeners will know how fond Joe is of Shakespearean English so to speak and dat. It's a shame he can't speak it....... :rolleyes::D

POSSIBLY coming up on twoday's show:
Irish Detective in Australia can't join de Gardai so to speak and dat. And not just any auld detective - de top detective sez he. You'd almost imagine Australia was a different country.....

Old people scammed again through de Westrin Yewnyun so to speak and dat. Call us now if you've been "met" wit a scam sez he as de Westrin Yewnyun have set up a fund so to speak to compensate now dja heer me?

Travel nightmares so to speak and dat. Have you been to Malaga Airport? Were ya robbed? Call us now

Aughinish losing 400 jobs so to speak and dat because it's owned by an OLLY-Gark and Trump is closing it

DEFINITELY coming up on twoday's show:
Stupid puns and attempted plays on wurds and dat

Inappropriate and unnecessary giggles unrelated in any way to the story at hand

Repeasted use of "WHOY?" and a phrase that sounds like "Ummm"

Camp voyis outro? Of course! Of course!

I see all of "DEFINITELY"s came up twoday and dat.

What was "De Top Detective" as he introduced her in de promo like? From reading de thread it sounds like she wasn't actually de top detective so to speak, but just a rank and file wan and dat.

No sign of Malag or Aughinish from de sounds of it but I see you got a BONUS SURPRISE DEATH & MISERY slot?

Is it worth listening back to de durty auld man segment?

Text R for RIDE

OR

R for RESTRAINING ORDER to de usual number.

ButtersSuki

Oooh. I was just reading on anudder thread and dat dat Charlie Booker described Kay Burley from Skoy News as a GRIEF VAMPIRE. To call Fateen a DEATH VAMPIRE wood be a bit too obvious, as well as being too like de latter David McSavage impression; but perhaps we could settle on MISERY VAMPIRE as a new monicker for him and dat so to speak?

meep

ButtersSuki wrote: »

Oooh. I was just reading on anudder thread and dat dat Charlie Booker described Kay Burley from Skoy News as a GRIEF VAMPIRE. To call Fateen a DEATH VAMPIRE wood be a bit too obvious, as well as being too like de latter David McSavage impression; but perhaps we could settle on MISERY VAMPIRE as a new monicker for him and dat so to speak?

I just made the mistake of attempting to watch a David McSavage Joe sketch dere at random in wurk. I was in puddles after 30 seconds and had to switch it off for fear of losing me job and dat.

Will have a proper look later, so to speak.

ButtersSuki

Fateen woodn't like dis common sense member of de jew-dish-ee-airy:

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/he-doesnt-have-behavioural-problems-he-is-just-spoilt-judge-tells-teen-he-is-living-in-lap-of-luxury-in-statefunded-apartment-36838645.html

'He doesn’t have behavioural problems, he is just spoilt' - judge tells teen he is 'living in lap of luxury' in State-funded apartment

A judge has stated that the State is funding a 'criminal' teenager living in the 'lap of luxury' and a 'holiday camp’.

Judge Patrick Durcan made his comment after hearing that TUSLA is funding the 17 year old living in a two bedroom apartment.

After hearing of the teen's living arrangements at the Children’s Court in Ennis, Judge Durcan addressed him and said: "Here you are living in a lap of luxury - a criminal - and being provided with everything by the State. Have you any appreciation for that?’
In response, the teen said: “I do appreciate it a lot.”

Asked to outline the money he receives while staying at the TUSLA funded two bedroom apartment, the teen said: “I get €35 a week pocket money; €40 a week for shopping and €50 a month for clothes.”
Judge Durcan asked: “Do you realise 100 years ago there were young lads your age being sent off to fight in Europe with big heavy boots, rough uniforms. No one doing their laundry for them.”

He further asked: “Do you realise 30 to 40 years ago, there were young fellas two years younger than you leaving this area to go off working in Scotland and to work on building sites and building the roads of Britain and they were living like sardines?”
In response, the teen said: “I do, but times are different now.”

Judge Durcan said that the teen “is in a holiday camp at the moment. A two bed apartment to yourself, food provided, clothes provided, everything provided”.
In reply, the teen said: “I know it sounds like a holiday camp but it is still a challenge for me. I find it is good and helping me a lot with independent living."

In response, Judge Durcan said: “You would charm the birds off the trees and charm them back again. If you ran for any political party in the next general election, you would be elected heading the poll.”

The teen is before the court having pleaded guilty to a spate of offences, including causing criminal damage to a Grotto in Kilkee last July.

The teen has pleaded guilty to causing €180 worth of damage to the Grotto in the seaside town on July 12th last.
The teen has also pleaded guilty to causing €2,474 worth of damage to a Honda motorcycle in Kilkee last July; €240 worth of damage to a driver's wing mirror on O’Curry Street, Kilkee, €200 to a wing mirror on the Strand Line in Kilkee and €190 to a widescreen and driver’s door.

The teen is being accommodated at TUSLA funded accommodation following Judge Durcan declaring his accommodation needs an emergency.
Judge Durcan requested TUSLA earlier this year to source accommodation for the teen after the boy’s parents said that they couldn’t take him back after stating that the family was at breaking point over his actions.

Solicitor for the boy, Daragh Hassett previously described the teen as ‘uncontrollable’ when explaining why his parents couldn’t take him back.
The teen will turn 18 over the Summer and Judge Durcan told him: “I don’t do a creche here. Once you are over 18, you are in the big boy's club and big boy's rules apply.”
Judge Durcan said: “The next day, you are out in the open court. The big jungle, your name can appear in the press.”

The judge said that the teen has wonderful parents “whose hearts you have broken”.
Judge Durcan said that if the boy continues to behave himself, he would strike the matter out, but may order that the boy do a guided tour of Limerick prison.
In response, the boy’s mother said this practice is done in the US for teens with behavioural problems.

In reply, Judge Durcan said: “He doesn’t have any behavioural problems, he is just spoilt.”
Insp Tom Kennedy said that the teen was going in the right direction, while Mr Hassett said: “He is getting every chance and as a young person, he deserves every chance. He is a very smart young man and a very good sportsman when he puts his mind to it.
“He has a lot going for him and is a young man who is capable of going on to third level education. He is back in education - he should be doing his Leaving Cert and doing well in it.”

Solicitor for TUSLA, Dermot O’Donovan said that the teen “is bit of a mystery” as his crimes are against property and not to feed any habit.
He said: “The extraordinary thing is that he is a very courteous, pleasant boy when you meet him.”
Judge Durcan remanded the teen on continuing bail to June 15.

A social worker for TUSLA told the court that TUSLA is seeking funding to extend the teen’s placement at the accommodation by three to six months which would go beyond the teen’s 18th birthday.
The teenager told the court: “If they got the go-ahead, I would definitely co-operate.”
The social worker said: “He is getting on really well. There have been some blips.”

Asked what kind of blips by Judge Durcan, the social worker said: “There is an agreement around his access with friends and once he broke that agreement when he went missing for a few hours and came back under the influence of alcohol."
She added that on April 14 the teen was found to have been smoking marijuana.

somesoldiers

meep wrote: »

I just made the mistake of attempting to watch a David McSavage Joe sketch dere at random in wurk. I was in puddles after 30 seconds and had to switch it off for fear of losing me job and dat.

Will have a proper look later, so to speak.

are you a plumber so to speak?