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Lahvlahn: The "Snow Show Like a Joe Show" Edition - 01/03 two-eighteen so to speak

wnolan1992

Ireland is scheduled to be buried under snow at 4pm tomorrow, so here's one last Liveline thread for the road. Enjoy.

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Uncharted

Whoy are we all on this thread at dis hour of de nite an dat callers?

Is it de Versatis patch buurnin' de hole off yis or is it de screeems of de starving orfun chislers?

Or are we all gettin wuurse wit our lahvlahn fix,so to speak?

Foyve foyve foyver wun foive foyvver wun wun!

ButtersSuki

My mudder (who was a University lecturer so to speak) told me dat when she went to University that basically anyone who wanted to go to University at the time got in. She’s 67 so roughly the same age as Fateen. I suspect he’s one of the wanted to go to University cohort so to speak. I wonder what kind of Leaving Cert he has?

Uncharted

ButtersSuki wrote: »

My mudder (who was a University lecturer so to speak) told me dat when she went to University that basically anyone who wanted to go to University at the time got in. She’s 67 so roughly the same age as Fateen. I suspect he’s one of the wanted to go to University cohort so to speak. I wonder what kind of Leaving Cert he has?

A-ha......! Akin to de drivin license'ss lottery of de 70's an dat "carry on". WOW. Sure sure sure sure........!

sligojoek

Uncharted wrote: »

Every single oul time Dubalin name he mentioned from fado fado got the same Fateen treatment......

Mrs X....what a strong and gracious lady

Mr Y..... a great determined and proud man

Missus Z.... a credit to her famblee,kept bread on de table etc etc.....

Ah sure,grate toymes n dat.... musha.

Everyone else gets the two fingers cos dey wuuurnt frum de Ballyer......

You'd never get people like that down the country.

Uncharted

sligojoek wrote: »

You'd never get people like that down the country.

The poor oul craters down de cuntry do be simple people's n dat..... sure isn't Fateen still explainin de ways de loooiss does de wuurkin n dat.

Wit yisser greeen lahn n de red lahn....

Modren tings fer modren Dubalin peeples....
Culchees are tick....so to speak caller.

sligojoek

Uncharted wrote: »

The poor oul craters down de cuntry do be simple people's n dat..... sure isn't Fateen still explainin de ways de loooiss does de wuurkin n dat.

Wit yisser greeen lahn n de red lahn....

Modren tings fer modren Dubalin peeples....
Culchees are tick....so to speak caller.

We don't even use de tinternet cos Joe in Dublin tells it's bad.

Jeff2

ButtersSuki wrote: »

Joe: Out of the LaraDOOR
Caller: He's a cross between a Labrador and a (I didn't catch that)
Joe: A very cross LabraDOOR now.

FFS. STOP IT YOU MORON.

It was a cross lab and ridge back.
That's rhodesian ridgeback.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhodesian_Ridgeback

ButtersSuki

sligojoek wrote: »

We don't even use de tinternet cos Joe in Dublin tells it's bad.

Shure Joe only got de interweb in de stewdio in RTE in late 2-17 if he was to be believed......:rolleyes::rolleyes:

somesoldiers

Strazdas wrote: »

Ray was right to press him on his father being absent for four years when he was growing up but he seemed strangely evasive on this one.

I guess he spent more money in the pub in London than he sent home in remittances So to speak, particularly as they had to get the bus to the free dinner place to get the coddle and custard and dat, common enough tale I’d imagine.
Drinking to deal with the loneliness of being away from family, when the reason you are away is to get money to improve their lives & of course the drinking leads to other problems

Uncharted

somesoldiers wrote: »

I guess he spent more money in the pub in London than he sent home in remittances So to speak, particularly as they had to get the bus to the free dinner place to get the coddle and custard and dat, common enough tale I’d imagine.
Drinking to deal with the loneliness of being away from family, when the reason you are away is to get money to improve their lives & of course the drinking leads to other problems

All joking aside....... this sadly was too often the Irish emigrants tale. Best of intentions became the worst of situations.
Many the non drinker became an alcoholic because they werent allowed return to their lodgings before 9pm.
They frequented the ale houses of an evening to eat and dry the damp clothes they were wearing.
One thing let to another and unfortunately became their undoing.....

Im getting as bad as Fateen now......Fado fado... MORYAH! ! !

ButtersSuki

Uncharted wrote: »

All joking aside....... this sadly was too often the Irish emigrants tale. Best of intentions became the worst of situations.
Many the non drinker became an alcoholic because they werent allowed return to their lodgings before 9pm.
They frequented the ale houses of an evening to eat and dry the damp clothes they were wearing.
One thing let to another and unfortunately became their undoing.....

Im getting as bad as Fateen now......Fado fado... MORYAH! ! !

Wat colour were de damp clothes?

thecretinhop

https://m.independent.ie/irish-news/rte-staff-paid-up-to-10000-to-take-year-off-work-36807181.html

is fateen in this?

Muahahaha

somesoldiers wrote: »

It’s the 9th one down caller, post #174 perhaps it isn’t visible on your device and dat?

Ah found it. 11.2 weeks off wurk for Joe in 2-17, astonishing stuff. My disdain for the man has risen to new heights.

ButtersSuki

thecretinhop wrote: »

https://m.independent.ie/irish-news/rte-staff-paid-up-to-10000-to-take-year-off-work-36807181.html

is fateen in this?

He wouldn’t be interested even at €10k a month - forget yer auld year now dja hear me?

ButtersSuki

Wat’s on Faeen’s moyind twoday? Wat obscure and niche subject (irrelevant to 99.9%+ of the population) piqued his interest over de weekend and dat? Wat new puns did he find on de goo-gull masheen in de EYEpad(s)? Choon in later ta find out.....dja here me now?

Uncharted

I reckon......

Irrelevant rubbish
TRUMP
mundane Joe thoughts
TRUMP
ridiculous public outcry about drivel
TRUMP
something Fateen found out on d'eye-pad
TRUMP
death/suicide/alcoholism/drugs etc etc
TRUMP

........so to speak

ButtersSuki

Uncharted wrote: »

I reckon......

Irrelevant rubbish
TRUMP
mundane Joe thoughts
TRUMP
ridiculous public outcry about drivel
TRUMP
something Fateen found out on d'eye-pad
TRUMP
death/suicide/alcoholism/drugs etc etc
TRUMP

........so to speak

Just a couple of problem-eeens with your list caller.

1. DEATH would never be at de bottom of any list dat Fateen did wroted and dat
2. You left out de puns and de "clever" wordplay and dat
3. You left out plug-eens of his own wares and vanity projects and dat
4. You're seriously over-estimating de amount of time he tinks about Trump-een. Dare's only two political stories Fateen is interested in - wen can Fianna Fail get back into power and dat and WHOY can't we just make Bertie President without an election?

#BlameFG
#FFareGreatAndDat
#BertieForPrezAndDat
#MakeBertieRichAgain
#IvanCalorieForTeeShock

ButtersSuki

FRYDAZE De Brand NEW & IMPROVED so to speak 2-18 Joe Duffy Wurkday Calculator and dat:

Wurkdays in 2-18 and dat: 72
Joe Shows: 58
No Show Joe Shows: 14
Breakeens 4 Joe: 14
PBH (de full-time host of de show) Shows: 9
PBH guest appearances and dat: 1
D'Omen Shows: 4
AN Udder Shows: 0
Good Fryday No Show by nobody at all at all: 1

NEW FEATURE SO TO SPEAK:
Fateen's Estimated Fees (De FEF Matrix so to speak) to date dis year: €145,000*
(not including de EXTRA FEES for 3 days of De Beast From De East TV + Radio Simulcast Xtravaganza + likely "Danger Money" for travelling to and from wurk in de snow and dat).

*de fees are calculated at €2,500 per show x days dat Fateen is in so to speak. Dose fees are likely conservative and outdated as day are 2 years old so to speak.
I'm including Good Fryday as a Wurkday as it is not an official Bank Holiday/Holiday Day. Even Pat Kenny is in Newstalk FFS, but no-one in RTE of course of course.

I did forget ta do it on Fryday as de show was sooooo boring....

ButtersSuki

POSSIBLY on twoday's show:

Campaign for de Referendum for de ATETH and dat so to speak and dat. WAT do shilsers tink? Wat do de chiurch tink?
Polio survivors and dat so to speak and dat (DAILY OBSCURE DISEASE SEGMENT)
Mr. Whippy INSHUREDANCE AGAIN so to speak and dat - "de Ice Cream Vendors are up to NINETY NINE abour ih and dat" (yes, he actually said dat)

Camp voyis outro? Do you even need to ask caller?

SEPT 23 1989

polio cast downs

mr whippy

the referendum

Odyssey 2005

Ice-cream men are up to 99, fook sake. Think I may be out already.ðŸ˜¡

ButtersSuki

De Brand NEW & IMPROVED so to speak 2-18 Joe Duffy Wurkday Calculator and dat:

Wurkdays in 2-18 and dat: 73
Joe Shows: 59
No Show Joe Shows: 14
Breakeens 4 Joe: 14
PBH (de full-time host of de show) Shows: 9
PBH guest appearances and dat: 1
D'Omen Shows: 4
AN Udder Shows: 0
Good Fryday No Show by nobody at all at all: 1

NEW FEATURE SO TO SPEAK:
Fateen's Estimated Fees (De FEF Matrix so to speak) to date dis year: €147,500*
(not including de EXTRA FEES for 3 days of De Beast From De East TV + Radio Simulcast Xtravaganza + likely "Danger Money" for travelling to and from wurk in de snow and dat).

*de fees are calculated at €2,500 per show x days dat Fateen is in so to speak. Dose fees are likely conservative and outdated as day are 2 years old so to speak.
I'm including Good Fryday as a Wurkday as it is not an official Bank Holiday/Holiday Day. Even Pat Kenny is in Newstalk FFS, but no-one in RTE of course of course.

dvcireland

ButtersSuki wrote: »

FRYDAZE De Brand NEW & IMPROVED so to speak 2-18 Joe Duffy Wurkday Calculator and dat:

Wurkdays in 2-18 and dat: 72
Joe Shows: 58
No Show Joe Shows: 14
Breakeens 4 Joe: 14
PBH (de full-time host of de show) Shows: 9
PBH guest appearances and dat: 1
D'Omen Shows: 4
AN Udder Shows: 0
Good Fryday No Show by nobody at all at all: 1

NEW FEATURE SO TO SPEAK:
Fateen's Estimated Fees (De FEF Matrix so to speak) to date dis year: €145,000*
(not including de EXTRA FEES for 3 days of De Beast From De East TV + Radio Simulcast Xtravaganza + likely "Danger Money" for travelling to and from wurk in de snow and dat).

*de fees are calculated at €2,500 per show x days dat Fateen is in so to speak. Dose fees are likely conservative and outdated as day are 2 years old so to speak.
I'm including Good Fryday as a Wurkday as it is not an official Bank Holiday/Holiday Day. Even Pat Kenny is in Newstalk FFS, but no-one in RTE of course of course.

I did forget ta do it on Fryday as de show was sooooo boring....

duz Joe get paid when he is on his holiers ?

sligojoek

Looks like a day for the kango..

ButtersSuki

Quick Telly Polls:

Have you earned more or less dan €147,500 year to date and dat?
Text M for Less to Foyver Wan Dubble Foyver Foyve Wan Dubble Foyve Wan
Text L for More to Foyver Wan Dubble Foyver Foyve Wan Dubble Foyve Wan

Have you worked more or less dan 73 and tree quarter hours year to date and dat?
Text > for Less to Foyver Wan Dubble Foyver Foyve Wan Dubble Foyve Wan
Text < for More to Foyver Wan Dubble Foyver Foyve Wan Dubble Foyve Wan

ButtersSuki

dvcireland wrote: »

duz Joe get paid when he is on his holiers ?

No. He's a contractor who fails to understand what a contractor is as evidenced by his rant when he didn't get sick pay for no-shows wen he did hurted de leg and dat.

Well I say no....but den again dis is RTE so who knows?

ButtersSuki

"Serious" topic for Joe to tackle so to speak:

Do Met Eireann employ any Irish peeple and dat?

I tink Joe would be interested in dis topic seeing as he was so concerned wen David McSavage hired a UK Person Of Small Stature for his John Duffy sketches........

Won't be listening today callers, but enjoy.....if that's the right word?

Uncharted

sligojoek wrote: »

Looks like a day for the kango..

It'll be kinder on the ears.....

Itssoeasy

ButtersSuki wrote: »

"Serious" topic for Joe to tackle so to speak:

Do Met Eireann employ any Irish peeple and dat?

I tink Joe would be interested in dis topic seeing as he was so concerned wen David McSavage hired a UK Person Of Small Stature for his John Duffy sketches........

Won't be listening today callers, but enjoy.....if that's the right word?

A what ?

And yes they do btw joe. All bar one(A dutch lad) are Irish.

ButtersSuki

Itssoeasy wrote: »

A what ?

A dwarf caller, a dwarf. But you can’t say dat anymore apparently....