Mrsmum wrote: » It seems to me then that this 'reasonable belief' is the kernel of the matter. As no-one can dispute there seems to be huge amounts of 'misunderstandings' which is a trivial but catch all word for it, imo if we want to prevent a man being accused when he feels it wasn't rape and forever more mud sticking and a woman feeling it was rape to the point she puts herself through quite an ordeal, is it not time to move from reasonable belief to clear consent ??? Some people seem almost invested in leaving things as they are but as we can see here this means lives get ruined. I have boys and I would rather they understand that consent has to be clear as a bell rather than end up with an allegation against them. I kinda think if you are clinging to 'reasonable belief' as to whether she was also actively having sex you aren't exactly 100% sure she was. And to my mind that's not good enough because the consequences for both parties are horrific.
FrancieBrady wrote: Personal preference I suppose. I prefer to be fully informed rather than somebody else editing for fear of offending. They gave warning that it would be graphic.
Tell me how wrote: » But obviously, you weren't fully informed, nor was I, because we weren't in the court room. The warnings don't really help if you're not in a position to turn off the radio such as in a shop or waiting room etc with children around.I'm not a prude, but I felt it was (and is) unnecessary to go to that level of detail, in terms of the dignity of all involved until a trial has concluded.
Tell me how wrote: » But obviously, you weren't fully informed, nor was I, because we weren't in the court room. The warnings don't really help if you're not in a position to turn off the radio such as in a shop or waiting room etc with children around. I'm not a prude, but I felt it was (and is) unnecessary to go to that level of detail, in terms of the dignity of all involved until a trial has concluded.
givyjoe wrote: What difference does it make to dignity if the detail is covered during or after the trial ?
tritium wrote: » Just to note, you do realize consent has to work both ways. In this trial the first failure to obtain “clear consent” was when the complainant came on to an incredibly drunk paddy Jackson. There’s actually no way with the degree of alcohol he’d consumed that he could have given that in a valid way. As such she would have to be charged with sexual assault (or maybe you have a lesser crime of failure to obtain clear consent) Do you think it’s a better system where someone who currently believes they’re a rape victim is then added to the sexual offenders register? As another poster pointed out, framing this case the way you have is incorrect. Alcohol and it’s effect on a wider ability to communicate were far bigger issues here. The fact that there are several different versions of what sexual activity actualluly even happened should illustrate that.
sydthebeat wrote: edit: apologies, i thought you were referring to the underwear, not the reporting
Mrsmum wrote: » This isn't about scoring points as I am speaking in general terms. Of course it goes both ways but you and the dogs in the street know that it is nearly always men who end up in the dock so to speak. And I would think that always ruins their lives (not just if they are famous as everyone is famous in their own circle)because mud just sticks so lets say we only care about men, surely it is in their best interests for society to to encourage clear consent. Women are always advised to look after their safety in all sorts of ways but I think men/boys need to be advised that they are in just as risky a situation if they are relying on such a low bar as reasonable belief. Reasonable seems to me to be in the eye of the beholder. If the guards came to my door I would want my son to know not just believe he wasn't the only one enjoying himself. Again this is all in reply to a previous poster saying the defendant just needs to prove reasonable belief. At the end of the day reasonable belief might be easy to prove in court but by then the damage is already done to his reputation and he will probably be a rapist in the eyes of many forever more.
FrancieBrady wrote: » How do you propose proving 'clear consent' by the way, if there is a dispute.
Mrsmum wrote: » Well for starters I would change the definition of rape to imput the words 'clear consent' as a way of changing mindsets. Also I really think there needs to be a whole discussion around sex. Especially for young people they need to understand sex is not anymore something you do to a woman rather something you do with. It is not something he gets and she gives. It is not meant to be an act where his cumming is the whole narrative. For many centuries our mother and grandmothers lay back and thought of England (or more likely tomorrow's dinner) and now that women are allowed to acknowledge our sexuality, rather than men learning about what we really like, there is this awful pressure to be porn stars which is again all about his pleasure. From one extreme to the other and neither are who we are. I think maybe (wishful thinking) that if men had any tiny understanding of sex from a woman's pov there might be less 'misunderstandings'.
FrancieBrady wrote: » That didn't answer the question I asked.
FrancieBrady wrote: » Willie john McBride, president of Ulster Rugby Supporters on Sean O'Rourke this morning to explain why Jackson and Olding should be allowed to resume their careers.
Mrsmum wrote: » To be more specific I think the defendant would have to prove how and to what extent the alleged victim participated so not ever that s(he) didn't say no but that s(he) did say yes and how that yes was made known to defendant. And not by interest shown hours earlier but at the moment of dispute.
upandcumming wrote: » Being a complete scumbag? I have yet to see evidence of that. Can you point it out to me?
BrianBoru00 wrote: » Ah here - that's just plain ridiculous. You want them essentially assumed guilty until proven innocent. . . which means any allegation could see them jailed.
Mrsmum wrote: » Well for starters I would change the definition of rape to imput the words 'clear consent' as a way of changing mindsets.
Mrsmum wrote: » Also I really think there needs to be a whole discussion around sex. Especially for young people they need to understand sex is not anymore something you do to a woman rather something you do with.
Mrsmum wrote: » It is not meant to be an act where his cumming is the whole narrative.
Mrsmum wrote: » there is this awful pressure to be porn stars
Mrsmum wrote: » I think maybe (wishful thinking) that if men had any tiny understanding of sex from a woman's pov there might be less 'misunderstandings'.
tritium wrote: » I also think we too readily default to the position that only men need to seek consent. In this case the complainant frankly had no business going near Jackson in the condition he was in. Can you detail how in this case you would set the chain of blame based on the clear consent question?
meeeeh wrote: » You'd reduce the number of disputes with clear consent. You still go through the same in courts just less often. Prevention is always the best option.
Mrsmum wrote: » His interview was a disaster and he actually set the men's cause back even further.
[Deleted User] wrote: » The reason the idea of 'clear consent' or 'written consent' is highly problematic is that it makes it really hard for one of the participants to subsequently change their mind. If you consent to sex in writing and then change your mind, what court is going to believe you with a signed document saying otherwise? By all accounts, we need to change how we prosecute sex crime by adopting new definitions and categories, but you can't also force a complete change in human nature.
Mrsmum wrote: » I don't see how I said that at all.
FrancieBrady wrote: » Still not answering the very simple question: How do you prove there was 'clear consent' in the event of a dispute.