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Problem with friend over concert tickets

LegacyUser

One of my closest friends (call her X) bought me a ticket for a concert as a birthday present.

Coming closer to the concert I realised I couldn't go because I had college exams (they hadn't been planned at the time we decided to go to the concert). When I said I couldn't go she made plans to go with others she knew, but then she asked me to pay her back for the ticket. I was a little surprised because it was clear it was a present and she knows about problems I have with getting my wages at my job on time (I'm a student), but I felt awkward about it and bad she had spent the money for nothing when she doesn't get many hours at work. The ticket was 28e (ok not a lot but put me under a little bit of pressure), and she text me to say there was also a postal charge of a few euro so i added that in too......

I got over it anyway and everyone else went to the concert, we all met up in college and someone made a comment about how pretty the girl that X sold the spare ticket to was. I said nothing but asked someone about it afterwards and X sold the ticket she had bought me for 30e outside the venue. I said nothing about already giving her money for it.

I know 28e might seem like nothing to you but it is a lot to me, and she got an extra 30 on top of that? I don't want to make a scene but I feel like she must think I'm a right dope for giving her the money. My friends always tell me I'm too nice to people as well. She had both of the tickets delivered together to her house and that's why I didn't have the one that was supposed to be mine.

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silverharp

what a sh11ty thing to do and not tell you, talk to her soon and say you heard she sold the ticket can you have your money back, be nice about it don't do a "gotcha" more play that you are relieved that you can get your money back now, she would need some neck not to agree

Neyite

She's not a friend.

She's a fraud and a scalper. I would have nothing more to do with her, if anyone asks, be factual and tell them why.

lawred2

That's fairly miserable

GingerLily

Your right to be annoyed, but don't be confused - be clear that she scammed you. Don't ever get involved with money and that girl again - including rounds!

You might ask her if she did sell the ticket, but I suspect she'll lie, it might be easier to back away from the friendship in a more discrete way.

Oink

So she made money off you to celebrate your birthday.

She charged you €28 to inform you that she should be avoided at all cost. That’s actually good value. I was once charged €250 for the info.

My advice, steer clear, do not waste another word on her. I have a feeling she won’t come near you again, but it would be a mistake to even acknowledge her.

If you need to explain, it means she won’t understand.

ironwalk

Oink wrote: »

So she made money off you to celebrate your birthday.

She charged you €28 to inform you that she should be avoided at all cost. That’s actually good value. I was once charged €250 for the info.

My advice, steer clear, do not waste another word on her. I have a feeling she won’t come near you again, but it would be a mistake to even acknowledge her.

If you need to explain, it means she won’t understand.

Excellent post and I have nothing to add- except to advise OP to read this several times.
And to underline that "if you need to explain, she won't understand". Bang on.

Bambi985

I don’t think I’d be able to resist dropping her a text. “So not only did you charge me for my own birthday ticket but you then decided to flog it to double the insult? “ I’d just leave it at that and let her sweat. Though it’s more likely she’ll not even care & try to turn the tables on you for not going or some crap.

Let her off. True colours on full view there, she’s got the loyalty and integrity of a garden gnome. Lesson well learnt. Block and delete

Rubberchikken

Try to avoid this person. That wasnt a nice thing to do to anyone least of all someone who cobsidered themselves a friend.
Consider it a lesson learned

Cash_Q

Could you text her and say "I heard you managed to sell my ticket outside the concert - great! When do you think you could return the money I gave you for it before you sold it? Thanks!"

It's not accusatory but straight to the point. You know what she did and it's sh1tty behaviour, she should not get away with it.

Sephiroth_dude

You should have told her where to go when asked for the money, cheek óf her!

woodchuck

Cash_Q wrote: »

Could you text her and say "I heard you managed to sell my ticket outside the concert - great! When do you think you could return the money I gave you for it before you sold it? Thanks!"

It's not accusatory but straight to the point. You know what she did and it's sh1tty behaviour, she should not get away with it.

I think this is a good idea. Even if she gives you the money back though, I'd still cut her out as she's obviously not the friend you thought she was.

wiggle16

I agree with all the above that I'd ask for the money back. I doubt you'll ever get it back but I'd ask anyway if only to show her that you're not the fool she took you for.

I have been in the position of buying a ticket for someone who couldn't go - I would never ask for the money for it, just gave it to someone else. If you bought a top for a friend as a gift and it didn't fit - would you ask for the money for it? No, of course you wouldn't. The fact that this is a ticket is no different.

Forget her, she is not your friend - she quite plainly and deliberately swindled you and didn't even have the sense to be discreet about it, since someone else was able to tell you what she did.

You paid €28 to find out what a trustworthy, decent, lovely person she is - you got a bargain tbh. Ask for the money back, but don't expect to get it.

fineso.mom

I could understand her asking for the money if you had asked her to get the tickets and then backed out but this was a birthday present! And then to sell it ..so she basically made money from your birthday. That must be so hurtful.
it would be great if you found out about an event that's on some day you know she can't make it, an expensive one, tell her you've bought her a ticket to it for her birthday and when she says she can't go you can say "Aww that sucks , can I have the 60 quid for the ticket so"

ebbsy

Go get the cash back.

[Deleted User]

If you paid her for the ticket then the ticket was yours. You should have been given it to do with as you wished. She stole from you.

[Deleted User]

personally I don't think I would lower myself to ask for the money back.
it was money well lost if you ask me.
(you seen her true colours for €28)

she will most likely lie about selling the ticket anyway.

I wouldn't say anything about it over a text or call.
I'd wait to be face to face to say it to her, and see her reaction!

I'd tell her I knew she sold the ticket after taking the money back off me, but I wouldn't even ask for it back.

cut your ties with her from now on because asking you for your birthday present back was disgusting. that ticket was a present to you, for you to either give it away or even sell it yourself. it was YOUR ticket.

Purple Mountain

The decent original thing she should have done was to say Ah sorry they clash and offer to sell the ticket for you at venue, give you the money back and tell you go buy something nice for yourself.
This is the epitome of sh*tty.
She needs to know you know though.
She needs a life lesson and you need a new friend.

[Deleted User]

Deleted User wrote: »

If you paid her for the ticket then the ticket was yours. You should have been given it to do with as you wished. She stole from you.

yeah actually, just reading over the thread again. You should have asked or been given the ticket once you were made pay for it.
whether it was a present originally doesn't matter now.
once you paid for it, the ticket should have been given to you.

Sephiroth_dude

So she gave you a ticket for your birthday and then took it back off you and asked for the money as well :eek:?

K_P

It's unbelievably mean and stingy to make you pay for a ticket that was given as a present. To sell it on and make double the money is a story worthy of the Stingy People thread over on After Hours. I'd do what others have advised. Message her saying how it's great she was able to sell the ticket and how you'll be able to get your money back off her now.

Also, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself a bit more OP. Your friend was in the wrong asking you to pay for a ticket she gave you as a present, you would have been completely justified in standing up to her and saying no. Don't be such a people pleaser, or you'll likely find yourself in similar positions in the future.

Big Bag of Chips

So not only did you pay for a ticket you didn't use, she also didn't buy you a birthday present!
I would take a deep breath and send her a message saying - hey, you know that ticket I bought for the concert (because you did actually buy it, you paid for it) [friend] tells me you were able to sell it on that night for €30. That's great, thanks a million. I'll get the €30 off you next time I see you, or you can give it to [friend] to pass it on to me. Thanks again, delighted you were able to sell it.

P.S. You still owe me a birthday present

Ok, you can probably leave the PS out, but I would definitely let her know that you know what's gone on - nothing bad will happen if you stand up for yourself. And you can then start to distance yourself from her and not have to spend time with her.

LegacyUser

Thank you everyone for being really helpful!

I told my friend that I live with about what happened and she agreed with what everyone said here that it is unfair and the money is mine so I sent X a message and this is basically what happened (I can only laugh now but was p****d off at the time)

Me: hey didn't get chance to message you during the week, heard you sold the ticket in Dublin! I'll get that 30 off you whenever I see you next week!!

X: What?

Me: The 30 for my ticket

X: I bought the ticket haha it was mine

Me: And I paid you for it/bought it off you

X: You paid me because I bought it for you and you ended up not going??

Me: Yeah and after I paid you for it it became my ticket.

X: No it wasn't you didn't go, this is so stupid.

and a bit more back and forth with her getting a bit annoyed and eventually not replying to me, but basically I will never see the money. I agree twenty eight euro is small price to pay for knowing what she's like, and everyone else who knows the story is unimpressed too

Cash_Q

Wow what a total cretin, lucky escape! Small price to pay to rid that kind of person from your life!

[Deleted User]

That’s the best 28e you’ll ever spend

[Deleted User]

Annoyedconfused99 wrote: »

Me: hey didn't get chance to message you during the week, heard you sold the ticket in Dublin! I'll get that 30 off you whenever I see you next week!!
X: What?
Me: The 30 for my ticket
X: I bought the ticket haha it was mine
Me: And I paid you for it/bought it off you
X: You paid me because I bought it for you and you ended up not going??
Me: Yeah and after I paid you for it it became my ticket.
X: No it wasn't you didn't go, this is so stupid.

omg that girls stupidity is almost funny

Purple Mountain

justfillmein wrote: »

omg that girls stupidity is almost funny

I want to bang my head off something.
Eh...you paid 28e originally for a ticket, and now you have 58e in your pocket..you don't need honours maths to figure that one out!
What a disgraceful excuse for a 'friend'.

B0jangles

justfillmein wrote: »

omg that girls stupidity is almost funny

I'd bet money that she's only pretending not to understand so the OP will give up and stop asking about it.

She's a nasty little thief - I'd be absolutely furious if this happened to me but the only consolation is that she only managed to steal 30 quid off you.

I really doubt you'll get it back, but maybe you can turn it into a 'funny' story to tell everyone you both know; you get to spread the word about what she's really like but if long as you keep it 'funny' it's much harder for her to say you're just jealous or a liar or whatever.

Purple Mountain

B0jangles wrote: »

I'd bet money that she's only pretending not to understand so the OP will give up and stop asking about it.

She's a nasty little thief - I'd be absolutely furious if this happened to me but the only consolation is that she only managed to steal 30 quid off you.

I really doubt you'll get it back, but maybe you can turn it into a 'funny' story to tell everyone you both know; you get to spread the word about what she's really like but if long as you keep it 'funny' it's much harder for her to say you're just jealous or a liar or whatever.

Yea..there's a few expressions I'd love to attribute to that girl here but it's probably not appropriate for PI!

Dial Hard

B0jangles wrote:

I really doubt you'll get it back, but maybe you can turn it into a 'funny' story to tell everyone you both know; you get to spread the word about what she's really like but if long as you keep it 'funny' it's much harder for her to say you're just jealous or a liar or whatever.

Definitely one for the "Stingiest Things" thread in AH

Sephiroth_dude

Wow, nasty piece of work, you don't people like that in your life, you are well rid.