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Are you punching above your weight?

Bambi985

I see this mentioned a lot about/to guys about their girlfriends and it's something I've experienced myself in relationships. I always thought it was quite rude. Imagine saying the same to a woman and implying that her fella is way hotter than her? There'd be blue murder!

What I've observed that it's not actually factual or true in most cases either. John Krasinski mentioned it recently about being married to Emily Blunt. She is undeniably gorgeous. But he is also a big ride. He is nowhere near 'average' and I'd say 99.99% of women would be staring him out of it in most rooms he'd walk into. Similarly, Laura Whitmore and her Scottish comedian fella. He's a bit of a ride too. And also far more charismatic and full of personality than her.

I've so many real-life examples with couples I know too, where she's pretty in a girl-next-door kinda way and he's quite attractive too, yet he gets the "way out of your league" comments. It's weird.

Anyone else got experiences with this? Are you told it about your OH? Does someone tell you your fella is "dating up"?

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greencap

Cherry_Cola wrote: »

WELL above my weight!

Japanese girlfriend from millionaire family. She is a world class violin player and works as a heart surgeon also. Absolutely gorgeous too! She moves here fully in a month and I can't wait

Good for you.

But that would kill me.

Japanese father in law. Better have your origami in order.

Bambi985

Cherry_Cola wrote: »

WELL above my weight!

Japanese girlfriend from millionaire family. She is a world class violin player and works as a heart surgeon also. Absolutely gorgeous too! She moves here fully in a month and I can't wait

A violin playing heart surgeon millionaire...so you're essentially a kept man?

pickarooney

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

I have the most awesome woman in the world who I am absolutely not worthy of.
I don't know what I have done to deserve such a fantastic person, she is just the best.
She completes my life and me as a person. And she feels the same about me.
We're not Brad and Angelina and we couldn't give a sh*te.
Would I rather have a woman that is rated to be 10/10 lookswise? Would she rather be with Channing Tatum?
Not in a million years. My now-wife, before we met (long story, 30 years long and longer in fact), told me she is not some painted up dolly-bird.
And it's true, she's a jeans and tshirt woman and if she wears makeup it's for a special occasion. And I love it.
Going out with someone for their looks, well, it's a clichee, but book and cover is a clichee for a reason.
I need to be with someone who understands my crazyness and my nerdiness and I couldn't live with someone who just embodies perfection, it would drive me nuts. To quote Deadpool, her crazy matches my crazy perfectly.
Yes I would crawl over any amount of naked women for her.

That is some massive turnaround from this time last year, no? Apologies if I'm mixing you up with a poster with the same avatar and a similar username.

I'd say my OH is considerably more physically attractive than me and probably outscores me on most other meaningless metric used to evaluate hotness. You would be very hard pushed to find a man who is her equal, to be honest.

Donald Trump

GypsyByName wrote: »

What is an LTR?

Licence To Ride

Donald Trump

Deleted User wrote: »

I was without a doubt punching in my last relationship. She was a high fashion model. My friends were more impressed with the situation than I was. She's just a normal person like everyone else. It was very annoying when we broke up because she did a job with Dunnes around the same time so there was enormous posters of her all over the place. Not ideal when your trying to move on :pac:

GypsyByName wrote: »

Not exactly high fashion is it? Still impressive nonetheless!

You misread his sentence.

She was a fashion model who was permanently off her head on heroin.

When she said she was a "fashion model" she was actually just a junkie who excused her appearance as "going for the Kate Moss look"

Still, it was a handy excuse as to why there were "Wanted for shoplifting" posters in all the Dunnes for miles around

Cherry_Cola

greencap wrote: »

Good for you.

But that would kill me.

Japanese father in law. Better have your origami in order.

It's going well so far, he loves a drink so we're getting on great!

[Deleted User]

I don't punch above my weight. I tend to go for pond scum. makes me feel better about all my flaws

Chancer3001

Have you noticed how 99% of people here reckon they are punching above their weight.

Love is blind

A pig thinks a bonamh is the cutest baby

OscarMIlde

Actually happened to me a LOT when I started to go out with my boyfriend. A how did you get him reaction. I was skinny, with awful teeth, but somehow managed to land a gorgeous boyfriend.The funny thing is that after nearly 13 years, he's gained a lot of weight and I'm roughly the same size and have had a lot of dental work done, so now he gets the same said about me.

Donald Trump

justfillmein wrote: »

I don't punch above my weight. I tend to go for pond scum.

Ya didn't lick that off a feckin' stone I tell ya me boyo

ChikiChiki

On a slightly related note. People used to always prefer to the middle brother (theres 3 of us) as "the good looking one". That always left myself and the youngest a bit perplexed each time.

Jack Kanoff

ChikiChiki wrote: »

On a slightly related note. People used to always prefer to the middle brother (theres 3 of us) as "the good looking one". That always left myself and the youngest a bit perplexed each time.

Why's that Quasimodo?

anewme

Chancer3001 wrote: »

Have you noticed how 99% of people here reckon they are punching above their weight.

Love is blind

A pig thinks a bonamh is the cutest baby

Reminds me of the “most beautiful woman in the world” story from Sesame Street all those years ago.

had to google it there for pure nostalgia.

dr.fuzzenstein

pickarooney wrote: »

That is some massive turnaround from this time last year, no? Apologies if I'm mixing you up with a poster with the same avatar and a similar username.

I'd say my OH is considerably more physically attractive than me and probably outscores me on most other meaningless metric used to evaluate hotness. You would be very hard pushed to find a man who is her equal, to be honest.

From maybe 2 years ago. My ex was a headwrecker and we were forced to live together by the mortgage so to speak.
And she was only too happy using me for the money whilst our relationship had completely disintegrated and using emotional blackmail to force me to stay.
During that time I met my now wife, we had known each other since secondary school, but never had anything to do with each other back then. Somehow got chatting on Facebook and we connected. A year later we were married.

I just had to go through 6 months of hell while preparing to make the jump and now it's just a small matter of fighting it out over the house, which my ex is not keen to sell, but can't keep either, because she hasn't a hope of paying the mortgage. Her ingenious solution to this was for me to payy off the mortgage and sign the house over to her. Somehow I was not in love with this idea...

Pyr0 wrote: »

She's standing behind you right now, isn't she?

With a frying pan, dude.

jimgoose

greencap wrote: »

Good for you.

But that would kill me.

Japanese father in law. Better have your origami in order.

Of course it's best if you can both origami at the same time. That takes a bit of practice with most couples. Don't mention it. Ai iz a billionaire tuba-playing part-time Anarapist.

jimgoose

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Dude looks like a perma-tanned sex criminal.

In some photos the dude looks like an Engineer from "Prometheus"! :pac:

blue note

People saying this is a pet peeve of mine. I remind myself it's well intentioned, but it's a fairly insulting way to compliment someone.

I also think there's an element of women in particular being very harsh judges of men's appearance. If you ask them which of their female friends are attractive they'll probably pick out about 50%. If you ask men which women are attractive they'll also pick out about 50%. If you ask women which of their male friends they find attractive they'll probably pick out about 1. If you ask men which other men are attractive realistically most men haven't a breeze.

I made this point to my girlfriend before and asked her which of her female friends are attractive and she picked out most of them. I asked her which of my male friends were and we went onto facebook. After saying no to the first 20 or 30 men, she saw my point.

So basically, I think it's a common perception that the guy is punching above his weight because we regard women as far more attractive than men in general.

Wait
..
.
.
.
.
.
Is my girlfriend a lesbian?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Nice

jimgoose

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

From maybe 2 years ago. My ex was a headwrecker...

My partner of nearly fifteen years and I split nearly two years ago now. Then I met the most mesmerizing creature - tallish, incredibly attractive with huge, hypnotic blue eyes. She's a healthcare worker and part-time horse breeder, lives on a farm out the country. A sea-swimmer and ex racehorse-pilot, she's also a bit of an Emma - haughty and beautiful and haughty and it wasn't the hawse's fault, Fawtha!! :pac:

Debtocracy

blue note wrote: »

I also think there's an element of women in particular being very harsh judges of men's appearance. If you ask them which of their female friends are attractive they'll probably pick out about 50%. If you ask men which women are attractive they'll also pick out about 50%. If you ask women which of their male friends they find attractive they'll probably pick out about 1. If you ask men which other men are attractive realistically most men haven't a breeze.

I made this point to my girlfriend before and asked her which of her female friends are attractive and she picked out most of them. I asked her which of my male friends were and we went onto facebook. After saying no to the first 20 or 30 men, she saw my point.

Women only rate about 15% of men as hot. Men rate 50% of women as hot. So yes, almost every man will seem to be punching above his weight - even though at a percentile level, he’s probably more attractive within his own gender than she is.

Everyone will also tend to say they’re punching above their weight. It’s a nice way to express one’s narcissism while pretending to be self-depreciating.

Wibbs

ReReginald Perrin wrote: »

It's nonsense really. People tend to end up with people they are similar to in looks. Money or status can get you a better looking partner but generally speaking, for those of us that aren't rich and famous, yes, you end up with someone in your own league.

+1 This is the case with the vast majority of couples. They tend to bring roughly equal levels of attractiveness to the equation. Study after study has born this out. Just going by physical beauty can throw up mismatches alright but with a bit of digging the other "equalities" show themselves. Even then in my experience anyway it's rare enough.

facehugger99

Debtocracy wrote: »

Women only rate about 15% of men as hot. Men rate 50% of women as hot.

Yeah, women are genetically programed to be more choosy.

There's a saying, most men would sleep with most women.

It's true.

Stab*City

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

I have the most awesome woman in the world who I am absolutely not worthy of.
I don't know what I have done to deserve such a fantastic person, she is just the best.
She completes my life and me as a person. And she feels the same about me.
We're not Brad and Angelina and we couldn't give a sh*te.
Would I rather have a woman that is rated to be 10/10 lookswise? Would she rather be with Channing Tatum?
Not in a million years. My now-wife, before we met (long story, 30 years long and longer in fact), told me she is not some painted up dolly-bird.
And it's true, she's a jeans and tshirt woman and if she wears makeup it's for a special occasion. And I love it.
Going out with someone for their looks, well, it's a clichee, but book and cover is a clichee for a reason.
I need to be with someone who understands my crazyness and my nerdiness and I couldn't live with someone who just embodies perfection, it would drive me nuts. To quote Deadpool, her crazy matches my crazy perfectly.
Yes I would crawl over any amount of naked women for her.

Ya but imagine if she was all that plus super hot!

Bambi985

Debtocracy wrote: »

Women only rate about 15% of men as hot. Men rate 50% of women as hot. So yes, almost every man will seem to be punching above his weight - even though at a percentile level, he’s probably more attractive within his own gender than she is.

Everyone will also tend to say they’re punching above their weight. It’s a nice way to express one’s narcissism while pretending to be self-depreciating.

This is so interesting and probably completely true! I think women do tend to "gush" more over other women, or at least there's a social norm of "oh she's gorgeous" or "she's really pretty" when talking about other women.

That same culture does not exist amongst men or when women are talking about men. I'm in a room with eight men and three women right now. I'd describe two - three of the men as "good looking"/"attractive" and all three of the women as "pretty". The guy that I'm most attracted to is not the one I'd describe as "goodlooking" but he's got a lot of other really hot things going on - he's in cracking shape and is the funniest guy in the room by a country mile.

jimgoose

Bambi985 wrote: »

...he's in cracking shape and is the funniest guy in the room by a country mile.

Calm thy frothing gusset, woman. I'm spoken for!

jimbobalob309

theres usually a lot more physically attractive women than there are physically
attractive men.

ReReginald Perrin

Regarding this debate. I have only really started to value myself properly now in my late 30s. I may have been in the "omg why is she going out with me?" camp in the past, but now as a single male with all his sh*t together, for the first time in my life I feel like I have a lot to offer.
Men can be quite harsh on themselves when it comes to women, we all need to value ourselves more.

Dial Hard

jimbobalob309 wrote: »

theres usually a lot more physically attractive women than there are physically
attractive men.

Or is that just your perception because you're male and just don't notice attractive men the way you do women?

jimgoose

ReReginald Perrin wrote: »

Regarding this debate. I have only really started to value myself properly now in my late 30s. I may have been in the "omg why is she going out with me?" camp in the past, but now as a single male with all his sh*t together, for the first time in my life I feel like I have a lot to offer.
Men can be quite harsh on themselves when it comes to women, we all need to value ourselves more.

Well, they say if you "value yourself" too much you'll go blind. Careful now!

ReReginald Perrin

Dial Hard wrote: »

Or is that just your perception because you're male and just don't notice attractive men the way you do women?

It’s because men will get up on anything

jimbobalob309

Dial Hard wrote: »

Or is that just your perception because you're male and just don't notice attractive men the way you do women?

true enough that i wouldnt necessarily be noticing the brad pitt types about the place! women have more tools to use to make them look better so its kind of an unfair advantage anyway

i'd say if you took away the makeup and the clothes and the hair styling and all the rest of it it might be a bit more even stevens!