nav[aria-label="Primary Navigation"] { padding: 0; & ul { list-style: none; width: 100%; display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: start; align-items: start; gap: 30px; padding: 0; & li { margin: 0; } & ul li { list-style: none; } } }

Child Item

Am I getting better looking or are women getting more desperate?

Hammer89

Legitimate question and one I can't work out the answer to. I'm no Bradley Cooper, but I'd think of myself as relatively handsome. I'm about 18 stone at the moment I think, but I'm also 6'4 so I can carry it pretty well - well, better than a man who is 5'7 for example - and I have a pretty decent beard going.

I've been lighter, which means I've been far more attractive at one stage, but I find myself getting more attention in nightclubs now than when I was, say, 15 stone.

Not bragging but I smooched the face off five women this past weekend - all of whom I found very attractive. I probably could have gone home with any one of them, but I had enough Jagermeister in me to sedate a mammoth and my knob is about as useful as Stephen Hawking's computer when I'm drunk, so I wasn't interested in sex. It would've been like trying to get a Tesco self-service machine to take a scrunched-up fiver.

Being an analytical type, I was interested in discovering why this was and came to two logical conclusions: I'm more attractive when I'm a fat, bear-looking prick, or these women have just lowered their standards. All of them were between the ages of 29 - 35 I'd imagine, which is why I think the latter theory is more plausible.

Maybe I'm being too hard on myself, but I think the women, at their age, might feel under societal pressures to find a man and start families, and therefore have abondoned certain preferences regarding the opposite sex. Would they have let me kiss them in their mid-20s for example? No, they would have knee'd me in the bollox in the belief that they could do better, but now desperation has set in and any man will do.

It really does make you wonder: how many couples in their late 20s and early 30s are together now because they love each other, and how many are together in fear that it's too late to find someone better? How many put the 'settle' in settling down? How many have abondoned the search for Mr Right and are settling for Mr Anyone?

Or maybe it's the alternative. Maybe, just maybe, there's a niche market for fat, bear-looking arseholes who smell of Jagerbombs. I quite hope it's this; not because I'm well placed to monopolise on the market, but because the alternative is quite sad to me.

Fortunately, there's a good way to test out this theory and it involves coming on to (not literally, not when I'm drunk anyway) slightly younger women and gauging the results. If they're game then it'll be a big confidence boost for me, but if I'm unsuccessful then I think it'll go some way toward proving that I'm a low-hanging fruit rather than the apple of someone's eye.

Find more posts tagged with

Quick Links

Comments

Chev_Chelios

Wo-man???

dmc17

Hammer89 wrote: »

I can't imagine it's being utilised at the moment mate, so no not very useful.

Which?

Hammer89

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

I tried Coppers once, but felt like a proper auld lad in it. House is good, and while you wouldn't want to be going every Saturday night, RAIN in Portobello isn't bad for meeting a bird in her 30's looking for a go on a good girthy schlong.

I keep picturing that scene from Intermission, when the two lads go to some nightclub on Jonesy's recommendation

punisher5112

Did you drop the hand op....

Something about Miriam comes to mind.

ToddyDoody

Desperate about not having children and getting older?

We'll all die someday anyway so I wouldn't worry... would be my advice.

dubstepper

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

53 years young, in fairly good shape, and not afraid to approach a woman to chat her up. I'm raw from saw at this stage.

ThinkProgress

Can't really speak from experience, regarding being fat and unattractive like the OP... wouldn't know what that's like at all tbh! :P

However, I can confirm that there certainly are a large cohort of very desperate women around these days. Women don't really show their desperation in the same overt ways that men do... the signs are more subtle. But visible nonetheless, if you have a keen eye for that kind of thing!

Mister Vain

Jasus... Johnny is back. We haven't heard from you since you rode that randy Welsh bird after the match.

Rubberchikken

Women have lowered their standards. And that'ssaying lot based on past evidence.

Irish_rat

It's one thing meeting someone on a night out, it's another sustaining a meangingful relationship.

Personally I did the lad thing in my 20's and that got boring after a while. Also single men in their 30's tend to dress much better and look after themselves.

andekwarhola

When we next send a satellite into space with cultural information for other possible inhabitants of the galaxy, a selection of phrases such as 'I've A Pretty Decent Beard Going' should be included to emphasize the essential intellectual futility of the early 21st century.

Greentopia

ThinkProgress wrote: »

However, I can confirm that there certainly are a large cohort of very desperate women around these days. Women don't really show their desperation in the same overt ways that men do... the signs are more subtle. But visible nonetheless, if you have a keen eye for that kind of thing!

What makes you think so many women are desperate? lots of women actually enjoy the single life and going out socialising with their girlfriends without being on the hunt for a man, shocking I know.

We're not living in the dark ages where an unmarried woman is seen as a 'spinster' and past it after the age of 35 any more. I was happily single for several years well into my forties. Desperate I certainly was not and I've had friends in a similar situation. And no, I'm not a Victoria Secret model but I'm attractive and I'm a genuine decent person and never had a problem getting a man and having long term relationships.

I've always felt I would rather be single for the rest of my life than 'settle' and be in a relationship or married with someone I wasn't completely happy with. And certainly not with a guy who thinks he's doing me a favour by being with me because he thinks I won't do any better at my age!

bilbot79

Only women write posts that long

Hammer89

Greentopia wrote: »

And no, I'm not a Victoria Secret model but I'm attractive and I'm a genuine decent person and never had a problem getting a man and having long term relationships.

Would you be interested in a bear who smells like smoke and Jagerbombs by any chance?

tea and coffee

Probably a confidence thing OP. When you're not coming across as desperate and gagging for it you are more approachable. In general, people are a bit more mature and self assured once they get into their 30s

[Deleted User]

gifted wrote: »

Obviously you judge people by how they look and their weight....you sound like a good catch...your a lucky man...

Lol lol

Speaking as a fat bastard I don't think there are too many people who don't judge someone by how they look and their weight.

TheValeyard

tea and coffee wrote: »

Probably a confidence thing OP. When you're not coming across as desperate and gagging for it you are more approachable. In general, people are a bit more mature and self assured once they get into their 30s

Think its the whole not giving two f*cks anymore.

LETHAL LADY

Hammer89 wrote: »

Would you be interested in a bear who smells like smoke and Jagerbombs by any chance?

I thought bear was gay terminology?

misstearheus

Jaysus.

Hammer89

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

I thought bear was gay terminology?

Is it? No idea, I was just describing myself.

LETHAL LADY

Hammer89 wrote: »

Is it? No idea, I was just describing myself.

According to porn and Brian Kennedy it is Hammer89.

TheValeyard

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

I thought bear was gay terminology?

Suppose it depends on the context.

That bear over there with the martini is winking at you

That bear over there is running right at us!

LETHAL LADY

Murray TheDemonic TalkingSkull wrote: »

Suppose it depends on the context.

That bear over there with the martini is winking at you

That bear over there is running right at us!

Well that clears it up

Purple Mountain

You man wh*re.
Think of all that different saliva and sweat from 5 different people.

One eyed Jack

Hammer89 wrote: »

Maybe I'm being too hard on myself, but I think the women, at their age, might feel under societal pressures to find a man and start families, and therefore have abondoned certain preferences regarding the opposite sex. Would they have let me kiss them in their mid-20s for example? No, they would have knee'd me in the bollox in the belief that they could do better, but now desperation has set in and any man will do.

How is that being too hard on yourself? :pac:

Ahh no, honestly you're way over-thinking this thing, probably because you're putting it down to having lost weight and growing the beard, but it's likely you were always attractive to women, you just didn't see it before.

It's not that hard to imagine that just like straight men, straight women too have all sorts of preferences and tastes when it comes to what they find attractive in a man.

Mena Mitty

You know what they say, it takes a big hammer to drive a big nail.

Neon_Lights

You know what they say no pics or it didn't happen

suicide_circus

My experience from work is that a wedding ring increased my attractiveness to women by about 65%.

Mister Vain

tea and coffee wrote: »

Probably a confidence thing OP. When you're not coming across as desperate and gagging for it you are more approachable. In general, people are a bit more mature and self assured once they get into their 30s

This. Im a lot more confident in myself now that Im in my 30's. I dont try as hard. During my 20's I was like a dog with 10 willies.

fattymoon

Murray TheDemonic TalkingSkull wrote: »

Think its the whole not giving two f*cks anymore.

Are these women foreign OP? As I really don't believe Irish girls approach guys. I wish they did ... however from my own experience foreign girls have no problem approaching a guy on a night out.