Wales vs France

The first bit is, like Eddie Jones' sister, dead easy

Preview. Earlier on today, we sent our intrepid reporter into the Leek and Croissant, Cardiff, for a in depth interview with the two coaches. Here's what they had to say....


On Eddie Jones's comments.


WG; There's no point in trash talking the Irish. I'v been doing it for years now and it does bugger all good.
JB; He makes nice jeans.

On today's game.


WG; With a good result today we can still win the Grand Slam. And stuff.
JB; With a good result today, we can actually win the toss. And if we don't, sure one of our clubs will probably buy several tosses until we win one.
WG; Their captain is a bastard. And their bench, I can't spell half of them and I'm pretty good at Scrabble.
JB; Their coach is one too. And my bench, well I can't spell half of them either.

On the forthcoming World Cup.


JB; I need to tighten up my squad.
WG; I need to tighten up my contract, in case they replace me with Neil Jenkins.

On the season just gone.


WG; Sure it's all a fix anyway. A bit like the RWC 2023 host nation selection.
JB; The clubs are happy to have it over. All their good players are knackered and want their reserves back off of me.
JB; So does this place serve beer?
WG; Just Brains.
JB; And you have the neck to give out about onion soup.
WG; You've clearly never had a pint of Brains before.
JB; I'll pass on le offer; you need plenty of it yourself.
WG; Shut your frog laced mouth. Just because you beat England last week doesn't give you the right to slag us off.
JB; Misseur Gatlund, we did see off the Pommes in style, oui oui.

On cartoon characters.


WG; What's the story with yer man Asterisk? Is he related to Serge Blanco?



JB Two words. Super Ted.

WG; Landlord, two pints please. And Cognac chasers please...
Landlord; Get out before I call a peeler....


Verdict. After two insipid seasons from two fairly flat teams, two flat gun teams need to do something and fast in what is a paper led limp end to the season. France probably showed more guile when they almost beat Ireland in Paris, and in their win in Twickers.

Wales probably look back to two TMO calls that could have gone their way; frankly I'm shocked that Warren G isn't still moaning about them to this day. A bit like how we moan about Wales in general, but I digress. Anyway, Wales have called up some fresh blood which should confuse assistant referee Wayne Barnes, not that he needs much confuse him at the best of times.

France have moved Benji Fall to full back, a move that will strike fear into the away fans. JB has opted to select Mathieu Basteraeud as his captain. Given their past history in Cardiff, this is probably part of his suspension from earlier on this season. Of course, there are no gay people in Wales so he shouldn't come to any harm.

So the result? France to break le duck, 28-19, a lot of sour grapes and hard cheese and Max Boyce to be put back on ice along with both teams hopes for 2019. Not that any of us will give a shoite, sure we'll all be drunk out of our tits given the days that's in it