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Who is the most negative person you know?

nigel_wilson

Saw a thread on Reddit about psychiatrists and therapist bring asked about the most negative patient they've had.

Wonder from a non-psychiatric POV (and maybe if you're in the mental health field), who is the most negative person your subject to? Donald Trump excluded.

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AllForIt

Edit: rather I didn't have made this comment.

diomed

I was on a project years ago trying to clean up a computer data mess at work.
To have any chance it needed the people who created the mess to do some work on their old data.
One guy found a problem with the first item on his list, and argued and argued about that one item.
I asked him to ignore it and look at the rest of the list. He refused.

A few years later I took early retirement.
One day I was walking past an IT store, and he was on the footpath on a smoke break.
He said he was in IT support.
I wouldn't want him sorting problems.

Robsweezie

Maleah Early Roadway wrote:

"Dubai? My friend's son worked over there when he was about 21, the money was great apparently. Anyways, on his way home one evening three lads ran up, grabbed him and threw him in a van, took him out to the desert and gang raped him."

Haha, what a story mark!

Stonedpilot

Alot of negative people are mentally ill ie crippled with depression and or anxiety. Ive seen it. Sad thing but be gentle with these folk they might be tortured in their minds and want nothing more than to see the glass as half full. They cant. Met some terribly negative people in my time. All judged as "negative nancys". All had mental illness.

[Deleted User]

my last ex.

my god he was an awful creature.
had a bad word to say about every.single.person he came across, and was always finding faults in other people.
it became draining listening to him

definitely in a league of his own

Donald Trump

justfillmein wrote: »

my last ex.

my god he was an awful creature.
had a bad word to say about every.single.person he came across, and was always finding faults in other people.
it became draining listening to him

definitely in a league of his own

Ah, he couldn't have been that bad. Sure I'd say he "filled you in" regularly :P . Sexy time ftw

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

SimpleDimples

Midlandsmissus?

mohawk

Being around someone who is constantly negative is so emotionally draining you can feel so trapped and sucked in by it.
My ex is the most negative person I have ever meet. Gets worked up by the most trivial of stuff. He can't let go of anything. If someone did something 10 years ago he will still go on about what they did/said to him. Always compares himself to others. He can't live in the moment and enjoy anything.
We were together for longer then I should have allowed. One day I mentally went Fcuk it I can't listen to another word. It was like a weight being lifted from me and I felt like myself again. The guy probably has depression but refused to listen when I suggested it.

[Deleted User]

Stonedpilot wrote: »

Alot of negative people are mentally ill ie crippled with depression and or anxiety. Ive seen it. Sad thing but be gentle with these folk they might be tortured in their minds and want nothing more than to see the glass as half full. They cant. Met some terribly negative people in my time. All judged as "negative nancys". All had mental illness.

Indeed but there are those who are constantly stuck in victim mode. You could bend over backwards to help them, offer support etc but yet they remain in a state of constant wallowing.

Beechwoodspark

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Woman at work is extremely negative, the kind of person who literally gives out from the moment she wakes to the moment she sleeps, always giving out about her job, procedures, her weight, her bills, boyfriend etc. People like that just drain the life out of you.

The kicker? She has a boyfriend and a group of friends whom she goes out with regularly. Ive always thought negative people repel others. Funny world we live in.

Used to work with a lady with an extremely negative attitude to life and everyone else really. Bitched and complained and put down everyone and anyone all day long. Her staff were useless. The managers were all incompetent. The govt were a joke. Etc etc.

Never had a good word to say about anyone. Every Friday evening she would go drinking with a gang of friends. I knew one of them and he also was very negative and cynical. Misery loves company I guess !

splinter65

AllForIt wrote: »

My mother. My mother comes from a lower working class rural background. She always looked at ppl who were wealthier than her as 'big nobbs'. She always treated her offspring as if we were a bit on the thick side and couldn't bear the thought of any of us elevating ourselves to a higher social class through financial success, especially if that came about through education.. All she wanted was the we could get the car and the house but only if was done through hard physical graft...like a road worker tarring the roads for example. I could go on but I'll leave it there.

That’s a common enough attitude even today poster.
My polish neighbor is one of those brutally hard working manual operatives out digging drainage ditches at 8am in the freezing rain, to bring home the mulah to keep a family of 5.
His wife is traditional, works hard at home cooking cleaning gardening shopping , she doesn’t drive, gets the odd night shift in the local factory.
The eldest boy did his LC and is now at college and instead of being delighted that he might get a chance to have an easier life then them they are outraged at the cheek of him to break the cycle.
Nice people though.

splinter65

My brother is obsessively negative, dismissive divisive.
My mother would have been leaning that way when we were kids but she’s not as bad now.
It can’t be helped.

Beechwoodspark

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Indeed but there are those who are constantly stuck in victim mode. You could bend over backwards to help them, offer support etc but yet they remain in a state of constant wallowing.

Very true. Know someone who’s been offered all sorts of help for their issues. They dismiss the offers and instead wallow in their victimhood mindset. Personally I am reminded of the proverb you can bring a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. Ultimately There’s no solution unless the person themselves wants to seek help.

fullstop

Donald Trump wrote: »

I have the same experience. She's always fecking complaining

"Don't get jizz in my hair"
"Use more lube if you're going in that route"
"Hurry up, Dakota Dan will be home soon"

I think you should get rid of her!

Donald Trump wrote: »

You're doing sex wrong so!

Sorry, I thought you said "cums"

Donald Trump wrote: »

Get outta that. Your mother was always a lovely pleasant and positive lady

Donald Trump wrote: »

Ah, he couldn't have been that bad. Sure I'd say he "filled you in" regularly :P . Sexy time ftw

Someone needs the ride...

[Deleted User]

One person I know is very negative, all the time. It's very draining.

He seems to be aware of how he is and how it makes people feel but I guess he's comfortable with it and doesn't see a way to change. If I knew him better I'd bring it up, but as things stand I just endure him and breathe a sigh of relief when he's gone. Not a nice way to be yourself, or a nice way to feel about someone. It can't be much fun for him, but he's the only one who can do anything about it.

He's very suspicious (for want of a better word) about people who are more upbeat or have more social energy, as though he's convinced everyone is secretly like him - which is quite telling, I think.

Dakota Dan

Candie wrote: »

One person I know is very negative, all the time. It's very draining.

He seems to be aware of how he is and how it makes people feel but I guess he's comfortable with it and doesn't see a way to change. If I knew him better I'd bring it up, but as things stand I just endure him and breathe a sigh of relief when he's gone. Not a nice way to be yourself, or a nice way to feel about someone. It can't be much fun for him, but he's the only one who can do anything about it.

He's very suspicious (for want of a better word) about people who are more upbeat or have more social energy, as though he's convinced everyone is secretly like him - which is quite telling, I think.

The trouble with people like that is that they can drag everyone around them down to their level no matter how great their day is.

HalloweenJack

My stepdad. Constant whinger, never happy with anything.

[Deleted User]

Donald Trump wrote: »

Ah, he couldn't have been that bad. Sure I'd say he "filled you in" regularly :P . Sexy time ftw

true. he was very good to me in that area:cool:.

I suppose I should be very grateful to have been with someone with all that inner frustration.
lucky gal:p

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

I always tried to avoid prolonged exposure to negative people. They are wearying and drag you down. I can't think of one negative person in my circle of friends or family now but had brief encounters with some in the past. They are best avoided.

somefeen

I think most negative people think they are being realistic, but Jesus there's a difference.

I know about 3 negative people, if they're having a bad situation they can't or won't find a solution. The thing takes over any conversation you have with them and its just a drag suggesting solutions that they'll find flaws with, if you want to keep the conversation going you have to join the pity party.

They really do just sit there and wallow in it. I was chatting to the worst culprit one day. His daughters car was broken down and she was due to drive home for Christmas. She couldn't get the bus for some reason because she was due back to work when the buses weren't running or something.
I think I suggested every solution under the sun bar driving up and getting her myself.
Rent a car?
No they'll be closed for Christmas I'm sure of it. Ring them and find out?
Oh no sure how would she get to the car hire place anyway?
Some of them will come pick you up if you live close enough
I doubt she lives close enough.
Get a taxi out?
She probably can't rent a car anyway she has no credit card
Enterprise accept debit cards.
Oh yeah but shed need the whole deposit in her bank.
It mightn't be that much maybe you could ring them and find out?
Oh no it'll be a lot if they're closed for two weeks over Christmas shell probabl have to hire the car for the full two weeks.
Sometimes you drop off the car even though they're closed?
Nah
Emmmm....ring and find out?

It went on and on and on

NickNickleby

cantdecide wrote: »

It's a sad thing to admit but I have a few people in my circles I would regard as being very negative. I default to optimism and try to improve my life and circumstances always. I always remain philosophical and hopeful about all aspects of my life but Homer often comes to mind in my daily life when he said 'trying is the first step on the road to failure'. I'm convinced my mother has endured depression her whole life without making a single attempt to face it and has a sort of death wish. That's hard to be around when you know you can't get through to her.

One colleague of mine would just suck the life out of you with her negativity and at one point, she just latched onto me and I couldn't shake her (short of creating a diplomatic incident). I remember having to help her fix her own f*** up at work while she complained endlessly about how stupid the whole thing was and how she had never been told about the issue remembered thinking how I felt assaulted by her as I attempt to help her and she knew that at the exact same time, my sister was on a table having heart surgery.

In other news, my initials pronounced phonetically sounds like Eeyore.

ER :eek:
Welcome, your Majesty !

(we knew all along..)

_Roz_

Me. I am the most negative person I know. It's a habit built over years of anxiety, depression, and introversion. I genuinely, for a very long time, didn't realise how god damn miserable I sounded half the time. When people called me on it, I would get defensive, but then feel pretty ashamed. I've gotten a lot better, and my life has gotten a lot better, and I think the two things happened in an interrelated manner. It took a lot for me to get out from under my Sad Rock, and god knows I still crawl under there sometimes, but I do try. Mindfulness is a wonderful thing, as is learning the skill of gratitude.

That said, I still am 'realistic' to the point of bordering on negativity. I once got into an argument with someone who wanted to go on a weekend break, because I kept pointing out the flaws in the plan (lack of finances, lack of annual leave, travel costs adding up so it wasn't actually as cheap as it initially appeared) etc, and I was told I was sh1tting all over everything, whereas in my mind I was evaluating something I would have liked to do, and discovering it wasn't feasible.

But if that's being negative, I'm happy to stay that way tbh.

cantdecide

NickNickleby wrote: »

ER :eek:
Welcome, your Majesty !

(we knew all along..)

Well actually, they're IOR... so maybe 'Eeyore' as in the donkey or 'Yore' as in ma.

cantdecide

_Roz_ wrote: »

But if that's being negative, I'm happy to stay that way tbh.

I feel that way about myself too- pragmatic to the point of perceived negativity through lack of delusion!! Jaysus, it's one thing to have a moan because something actually sucks rather than feeling compelled to do your best Richard Branson or Ghandi impression.

My economic circumstances are quite bad and have been for a very long time despite my efforts to change things. I might make mention of this to people I know in some context and they treat me like I'm being a negative Nancy. By most practical definitions, things are bad for me economically. Fact. It's not life or death. It's not that I have no sense of perspective but that doesn't mean that life hasn't been a drag for years- it really has.

I see myself as someone that tries to light the penny candle rather than curse the dark. I think the difference with negative people is they just accept things are f*cked as a reason to not try to improve things. Condemning someone for acknowledging that luck is against them at the moment is kind of troubling for me.

KERSPLAT!

_Roz_ wrote: »

Me. I am the most negative person I know. It's a habit built over years of anxiety, depression, and introversion. I genuinely, for a very long time, didn't realise how god damn miserable I sounded half the time. When people called me on it, I would get defensive, but then feel pretty ashamed. I've gotten a lot better, and my life has gotten a lot better, and I think the two things happened in an interrelated manner. It took a lot for me to get out from under my Sad Rock, and god knows I still crawl under there sometimes, but I do try. Mindfulness is a wonderful thing, as is learning the skill of gratitude.

That said, I still am 'realistic' to the point of bordering on negativity. I once got into an argument with someone who wanted to go on a weekend break, because I kept pointing out the flaws in the plan (lack of finances, lack of annual leave, travel costs adding up so it wasn't actually as cheap as it initially appeared) etc, and I was told I was sh1tting all over everything, whereas in my mind I was evaluating something I would have liked to do, and discovering it wasn't feasible.

But if that's being negative, I'm happy to stay that way tbh.

From your example, I think there's a difference between being realistic and being negative. Time off and money are obviously a major part of heading away... of course they'll be discussed. Maybe it's the way they're discussed which determines realistic and pessimistic?

Edit, or as above, pragmatic as opposed to realistic.

_Roz_

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

From your example, I think there's a difference between being realistic and being negative. Time off and money are obviously a major part of heading away... of course they'll be discussed. Maybe it's the way they're discussed which determines realistic and pessimistic?

Edit, or as above, pragmatic as opposed to realistic.

Possibly, it's definitely possible I lack tact with my negativity. I state facts, much like that other poster, and lack of money had been a thing for me for a long time. My friend's response was 'you're not even trying to offer alternatives', but we hadn't been looking for a weekend break, she just randomly showed me one and I pointed out why it wouldn't work. If we had been actively trying to find a mini-break, of course I would have sought alternatives.

Comparatively, another friend and I decided on and booked a mini-break in less than 48 hours after a whimsical chat about Christmas markets. I was the common factor in both cases, but they went wildly different ways. I think part of it is actually how people bounce off each other too.

Steve F

Clem H Fandango wrote: »

A certain elderly poster here has to be right up there, an absolute miser who seems to get a kick from moaning on every single topic that arises.

Sorry

_Whimsical_

The most negative person I know ironically enough is constantly talking about positive thinking and is forever whinging about people not being as positive as herself. A normal conversation with her would generally include reference to 3 or 4 people she'll have met who genuinely have stuff going on in their lives and her comment on it will be along the lines of "she has a constant face on her, she'd depress you, you just have to get over depression ", "she's always sick , no joy in her at all", "you need a bit of positivity in life, I don't need to hear about someones sick child, I need positive people ". She doesn't seem to realise that literally all she does is give out about other people.

Candie wrote: »

He's very suspicious (for want of a better word) about people who are more upbeat or have more social energy, as though he's convinced everyone is secretly like him - which is quite telling, I think.

I think maybe that's what karma is. Nasty people are doomed to a life of believing everyone around them is the same as themselves so they have to always be on guard and suspicious and expecting the worst of people.

mojesius

I've had to keep check on my own negativety as I think it's a learned/generational trait if it goes unnoticed. A lot of the time, it is due to some sort of mental illness but i think it's also a habit.

E.g. There's a few hypochondriacs in my family who go the doctor every week, go for this test, that test, have x syndrome you've never heard of, take 15 tablets a day for no reason. None of them partake in any exercise whatsoever and will moan about the cold from October to May. They nearly enjoy outdoing each other with their current list of illnesses or stories about who died/has cancer/ is in a home etc.

I said to both my husband and sister, if they ever see me getting like that as I get older, to slap me across the face immediately. Terrified of turning into the scorpy Aul aunt in the corner at a wedding!