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Honesty when leaving

breadhead

Planning to leave my current post in the coming weeks. Worked here for several years and have great respect for the boss and personnel however frustrations have gotten progressively worse and I've reached the end.

My question is whether I should be honest as to the frustrations for leaving? It would be easy enough to go and say its not totally not you its me. Is any honesty going to be welcomed to potentially learn from my thoughts to make improvments?

Should I just keep these reasons quiet and remain positive about the whole experience?

TIA

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Tenigate

Wait til 1st January to hand in your notice.. new tax year so it may be tax efficient if you'll be out of work for a while.

And bite your tongue. Thank them for the wonderful memories, etc.

It may be worth taking some counselling, maybe 2-4 sessions-maybe at your employer's expense if they offer an employee assistance program. A job you really identified with and invested time and effort can be worse than a breakup, or at least a stressful time. So while you shouldn't be honest with your employer even if you think it will bring you closure, it can be helpful to talk to someone.

dennyk

That's really something only you can decide, given that you know the company and the people there much better than anyone here and have a better idea of how they might react. That said, it's probably best to simply leave it be and stick to something professional and noncommittal (e.g. "Leaving to pursue other opportunities" or some such). If the company hasn't done anything to address these frustrations and issues when you've brought them up to management so far, they aren't likely to change their ways due to you bringing them up again in an exit interview, and if they have any sense, they'll be able to make the connection themselves when you put in your notice anyway.

[Deleted User]

I am very honest with people. Arguably too honest.

But I find that if you approach someone in a sensible, respectable manner, even if your honesty is negative, if you present it in a constructive and polite manner, it's usually appreciated.

R.D. aka MR.D

On leaving my last job I got advice to be honest in my exit interview.

I regret it massively. I should have said nothing.

bilbot79

Always be positive. Industries have small circles and people look for feedback from contacts about incoming employees.
.
Zero to gain from venting

beauf

Deleted User wrote: »

...But I find that if you approach someone in a sensible, respectable manner, even if your honesty is negative, if you present it in a constructive and polite manner, it's usually appreciated.

...I have rarely found that to be true...

Tenigate

beauf wrote: »

...I have rarely found that to be true...

It isn't.

If they think you'll be negative they may even skip the exit interview. Last thing they want is to keep a written record of something you could use against them in a constructive dismissal lawsuit, or whistleblowing that they'd need to follow up on.

CelticRambler

I work as a contractor in a senior position in several different versions of the same line of business. Every one of them has problems, some more than others, and it's very, very rare that any of them want to hear my opinion - even when I try to point out procedures that are not/no longer consistent with best practice.

As dennyk indicates, assuming you've had the opportunity to highlight them, a decent employer would already have dealt with the problems at the root of your dissatisfaction; there's little or nothing to be gained from telling them again as you're heading out the door. The only circumstance that would change that would be if you really wanted to stay (or if they plead with you to stay) in which case you might be able to negotiate an improvement in specific conditions ... but if the problem is just "attitude" then that's unlikely to be possible.

Alkers

If they offer you an exit interview, play it by ear as to how much you feel like divulging. Otherwise, how poorly they've been running the place is the wisdom that your bring with you to your next place of employment. If they valued your employment enough, you'd have been kept on. Their loss.

Tom Dunne

There's a fine line between honesty and what could be perceived as bitterness and resentment when leaving a job.

Keep it positive and vague - "moving on to progress my career" and "great opportunities with a growing company" fluff like that.

Ireland is too small.

daheff

Dont bother with the exit interview.

What will you gain from it?

Exit interviews are hr excuse to pretend everything is rosy.

Calhoun

I wouldn't really deviate from the its not you its me line, because realistically it is you and not them.

Sometimes working environments as much as we want them to change do not, as mature adults we have to take a decision to move on and to try and better ourselves elsewhere.

Its hard to move on and especially when we invested so much time in a place we want it to do better and would love to stay for it to be better but its not to be. So be happy in the decision you are taking, own it but look at it from a positive perspective you are going to get into a place that meets your needs.

_Brian

Deleted User wrote: »

I am very honest with people. Arguably too honest.

But I find that if you approach someone in a sensible, respectable manner, even if your honesty is negative, if you present it in a constructive and polite manner, it's usually appreciated.

That may be true, but remember others are often spiteful and shallow.
Some don’t appreciate the frankness you enjoy and it would be all to easy to see a leaving employee as a whinger and mark their file as “do not rehire”

Now when leaving this may not worry many, but working life is fraught with opportunity and strife and more often than not I’ve seen people return to their former employer looking to be hired.

I’ve asked for and seen personal files marked “not suitable for rehire” so please done be so simple as to not think it happens. Similarly I’ve made the recommendation to hr.

breadhead

Thanks all.

Yes decided its best to bite my tongue and remain positive. And yes it is me not them, thats also true

There wont be any formal exit interview, rather an informal discussion with the boss.

Not that it makes much difference but I left this employer almost two years ago after 5 years to return 9 months later. This won't happen again and I don't regret the return.
A very important step in my career development so best to remain positive for references, networking, friendship purposes.

HandsomeBob

Depends what honesty means. If honesty means going into the exit interview and slating them then yes that wouldn't be the best policy.

People seem to have this thing where they're afraid to ask for a meeting to give feedback when things are going wrong. Maybe I'm lucky in where I am but I've never had a problem doing that, and hasn't gone against me.

At the same time, I can admire a nice leaving speech with a few subtle but diplomatic digs thrown in. :pac:

LimeFruitGum

My last company stopped doing exit interviews a few years ago. When I left, I had to complete a relatively bland questionnaire, and there was a 500 character box for Any Other Feedback &#55357;&#56847;. Woopiedoo.

If you really do want to get feedback off your chest, why not post an employee review of the company on Glassdoor?

[Deleted User]

R.D. aka MR.D wrote: »

On leaving my last job I got advice to be honest in my exit interview.

I regret it massively. I should have said nothing.

What was the downside of your honesty?

daheff

AndrewJRenko wrote: »

What was the downside of your honesty?

bad reputation leaving. they see you as a whinger and troublemaker.

HandsomeBob

daheff wrote: »

bad reputation leaving. they see you as a whinger and troublemaker.

Can't see how it would back fire that much as long as you weren't slating the person you'd be asking for a reference from/direct manager.

[Deleted User]

Keep it simple
You have absolutely nothing to gain by being honest in these situations
Don’t turn your positive heading off into the future with confidence, into one last negative interview right at the very end

It’s a small world, you never know who you’ll be groveling to in a few years

HandsomeBob

While I'd never be using the word "grovelling" (and anyone in such of position of power who gets off on that deserves to be laughed at), it is indeed a small world.

I've been through 2 mergers in the space of 3 years so it is best to just play it safe.

daheff

HandsomeBob wrote: »

Can't see how it would back fire that much as long as you weren't slating the person you'd be asking for a reference from/direct manager.

Ireland is small...word gets around. People know people and a lot of 'references' can be informal.

Best not to bitch about company/people when leaving.

"All is good. new challenge...etc etc."

[Deleted User]

daheff wrote: »

bad reputation leaving. they see you as a whinger and troublemaker.

I suppose it depends on how you pitch it, and on the professional and emotional maturity of whoever is receiving the feedback.

If you keep it professional, and the recipient of the feedback is professional enough to see it as a good opportunity to get open and direct feedback, it could work out well.

If there isn't that level of maturity on both sides, it probably won't work out well.

HandsomeBob

It's easy to reference professional maturity but if you're asked to do an exit interview, it's unlikely going to be with your direct manager but rather their manager and a member of hr.

So in that scenario, if you decide to slate your direct line, then that person is going to control the narrative in the aftermath. They've the right to do that given the position they've earned and also have the right to defend their reputation at the expense of the departing party.

There's only one winner there and tbh, rightfully so.

pauliebdub

Unless being honest serves your purpose in any way I'd say nothing. Smile, say thank you for the opportunity and goodbye.

B.A._Baracus

"The smart man says nothing" - So true.

There are no positives by telling the truth here. Someone can take it the wrong way and give you a bad reference, Someone may hinder you from ever having to return to the same company in the future should your circumstances call to do so.
Just thank your employer. Make some excuse that you want to experience new things, new challenges yadda yadda.

99nsr125

You should always be honest, otherwise you're perpetuating bad industry practices.

This is why problems are not solved

I have always been honest at exit interviews and have returned to previous employers