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Wedding expense ?

jamesf85

Hi,

I'm a groomsman at a wedding coming up just after Christmas. The wedding is in Italy so is already an expense on people. Today we went to get suits for the groomsmen and afterwards when they were paid for we were told they were €700 each and could we transfer the money asap.

I was always under the impression that the suits were paid for by the groom.

Maybe this is normal I'm just curious?

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mcgiggles

I'm sorry but holy f*ck? Is the suit made of gold?!? We're paying 700 for 7 suits for our wedding!! That's a joke! Definitely question that!
Anything they specifically want you to wear on the day should be paid for by them! If they wanted ye to pay the suits they should have ran that by ye first to make sure that was okay with ye.. and also if they ARE asking people to pay for their own suits they shouldn't have gone and got ones that cost so freakin much!! That's "sorry but i can't afford to be in your bridal party anymore" kinda pricing!!!

splinter65

lazygal wrote: »

This is so cheeky. I can't stand scabbiness around weddings and this is particularly irritating. Why do people ask people to be in the bridal party and then charge them for the privilege. I really think you're being taking for a ride OP. Friend of mine fell out with someone because they wouldn't stay for the two nights in the hotel the groom insisted on but wouldn't pay for. If you want a bridal party all costs should be budgeted for.

It’s a modern day thing. People want the show biz wedding but don’t want to save or sacrifice for it and have no shame or conscience about screwing friends and family to get what they feel is their entitlement. Just say no is the mantra as far as I’m concerned.

mickdw

I know the type this groom is. Big shot ideas and all talk. Would think they have everyone convinced that they are well off and try to embarrass friends into playing the same game and that 700 is chicken feed.... Not so willing to pay it himself though.
Tell him you are backing out as its OTT and not your style and that you dont buy €700 suits for yourself EVER.
If you are groomsman for someone you should know them well enough to say 'would ya feck off with your €700 suit'.

the purple tin

Strike me pink! with the 700 quid suit (which you will probably never wear again), the trip to Italy, the present for the happy couple and some spending money, this wedding could put OP in the poor house. Imagine having to fork out for one or two events like this every year!

ps OP how long is the stay in Italy?

Call me Al

The groom has actually demanded you fork out €700 for a suit you likely wouldn't otherwise buy., and you seem to be ok wirh this? And he took a decision that you will buy tour own suit without running it by you first,
I seriously think you need to think about what he's asking.
I wouldn't be comfortable with paying this type of money.
Why aren't you hiring the suits??

the purple tin

splinter65 wrote: »

It’s a modern day thing. People want the show biz wedding but don’t want to save or sacrifice for it and have no shame or conscience about screwing friends and family to get what they feel is their entitlement. Just say no is the mantra as far as I’m concerned.

I think celebrity wedding features in rags like Hello are partly to blame. The difference is wedding expenses are paid for by the magazine in exchange for exclusive photos and story. When gullible couples try to recreate a celeb wedding they get a nasty financial shock and end up pulling stunts like the one the OP described in order to save money.

Neyite

Suggest that you wear one you already have, or tell them that if you are paying €700 for a suit, you will pick the style and colour of it.

If on the other hand, it's important to the bride and groom to have a matching set, then they can pay for that.

Alternatively, you could step down as groomsman and let the 'honour' go to another friend of theirs, one preferably with not a lot of sense and deep pockets.

qwerty13

The bride & groom are taking you for a ride. I’m astounded at how cheeky they are.

It’s well established custom in Ireland that the bride & groom pay for outfits for the Bridal party. To ask you to pay would be surprising, and not the norm. To ask you to hand over €700 - they’re utterly taking the p*ss, and I’d be rapidly reevaluating the ‘friendship’ of someone who treated me like that.

CelticRambler

700€ :eek: Any chance you can show us a picture of the suit?

I'm hoping to go to a white-tie event in February ("dress code rigidly enforced, you will be refused entry if you don't meet the standards, regardless of how much you paid for your ticket") and I won't be spending more than 400€ on the full outfit, and expecting to get good use out of it in years to come.

c6ysaphjvqw41k

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lazygal

CelticRambler wrote: »

700€ :eek: Any chance you can show us a picture of the suit?

I'm hoping to go to a white-tie event in February ("dress code rigidly enforced, you will be refused entry if you don't meet the standards, regardless of how much you paid for your ticket") and I won't be spending more than 400€ on the full outfit, and expecting to get good use out of it in years to come.

When we got married, himself decided he wanted a new suit for our civil ceremony and a new suit for our humanist ceremony a week later. I'm pretty sure his two suits (which he still has and wears six years on!) cost not much more than €700 and he chose them himself and it was his decision to buy them. What suit could cost €700?!

Vojera

lazygal wrote: »

What suit could cost €700?!

A good suit can easily cost that much money if you shop in the right places. The former director of the company I work for used to always walk around in suits that cost €1k-€3k (which he got for a steal because he had a long-term business relationship with the shop owner) and they were amazing. You could tell that they were pricey.

That said, regular people don't have any need for a suit that costs so much. They're not for the plebs like us :pac:

LynnGrace

jamesf85 wrote: »

Thanks all for the replies,

It's an Irish couple. The suits are actually €700 each as I've seen the receipt.

I appreciate the replies and for clarifying that it's not the norm for the groomsmen to pay for their own suits. €700 is a crazy amount, I was hoping for at most €400.

It's going to be a very expensive event!

So are you just accepting that you have to pay it? :eek:

lazygal

Vojera wrote: »

A good suit can easily cost that much money if you shop in the right places. The former director of the company I work for used to always walk around in suits that cost €1k-€3k (which he got for a steal because he had a long-term business relationship with the shop owner) and they were amazing. You could tell that they were pricey.

That said, regular people don't have any need for a suit that costs so much. They're not for the plebs like us :pac:

I know suits could cost that much, but for the bog standard Irish wedding most people have €700 is a LOT, especially when it's not even for the groom!

SteM

CelticRambler wrote: »

I'm hoping to go to a white-tie event in February ("dress code rigidly enforced, you will be refused entry if you don't meet the standards, regardless of how much you paid for your ticket")

Wow, that sounds like so much fun!

OldMrBrennan83

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Peregrinus

Patww79 wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

White bow tie, shirt with high collar, white low-cut waistcoat, black tailcoat with black silk facing on the lapels, black evening trousers with two black silk or braid stripes down the outside seams (this is important - evening trousers with one stripe are only worn with a dinner jacket). Finish off with patent leather dancing pumps or highly polished black dress shoes. Accessorise if desired with a white scarf and/or a black silk top hat.

OldMrBrennan83

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Teyla Emmagan

Sounds like you are actually thinking of going along with this OP.

Are you MAD???! You are being taken for a ride, and not in a nice way. Your buddy is a user.

TheAnalyst_

I wouldn't even argue about it at this stage. Pull out of the wedding altogether with some flimsy excuse. You likely won't even be talking to this couple in ten years time.

cml387

Oftentimes I browse this forum for the lols and this thread is right up there.

Just to add, do not even think of paying 700.

the purple tin

cml387 wrote: »

Oftentimes I browse this forum for the lols and this thread is right up there.

Just to add, do not even think of paying 700.

Seems as though he has bit the bullet and forked it out.
I wonder if the bridesmaids had to pay for dresses, and how much?

splinter65

the purple tin wrote: »

Seems as though he has bit the bullet and forked it out.
I wonder if the bridesmaids had to pay for dresses, and how much?

It’s the ultimate example of passive aggressive bullying.
“Your going to look stunning on my wedding day, it’s only going to cost you €450 each for the dresses plus €100 for shoes plus I’m getting a great deal for you all on make up and hair €80 each”.
I’d imagine it’s going to catch on like a virus.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

Mollyb60

My husband got a custom made suit for our wedding. Made from scratch and personalised for him. There were a ridiculous amount of decisions to be made when ordering the suit we were in the tailors for a solid 2 hours I think. That suit cost £700. It is gorgeous and he's getting the use of it now for interviews.
There is no way in hell I would ever pay that much money for a suit for a wedding. And it is NOT the norm for you to be expected to pay for your own groomsman suit. Outrageous of the groom to even have the cheek to ask!

pooch90

OP, we need an update!!

[Deleted User]

pooch90 wrote: »

OP, we need an update!!

i'm dying to know the outcome too:D

just back from a wedding myself this weekend, and in total it cost me probably the price of that suit, and i'm moaning about that.
nevermind the price of a suit that wasn't my choice, PLUS going to Italy, accommodation, the money in the card, food and any other expenses.

thankfully I don't drink either

the purple tin

Maybe this thread got back to the happy couple and they had it out with him.

[Deleted User]

or maybe he went ahead and paid the bill:eek:

Soldier

any update please