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Child Item

Consent - did I take the right approach???

burnsey1987

I went out last night by myself. I was sipping a pint while looking at the TV for the most part. A couple of people came and went by the table I was sitting at. I acknowledged them but didn't really talk to them. I wasn't really in the mood for interacting with people to be honest, sometimes I can be like that. One girl asked me "Are you okay?". I assured here I was fine, not a bother. About an hour later a different crowd sitting at the table were moving on to go to a nightclub and one girl said that she wanted a hug. I asked her "are you sure?" She just shouted "yes" and put her arms around my neck. But the people at the next table (a group of girls), I heard one of them say "What the fcuk?!?!?!" and another person (a guy) said "why didn't you just drop the hand?". The girl behind the bar who knows me very well said that what I did was a very sweet thing to do. I think I handled the situation in the right way, but I can't get why other people thought I should have acted differently. Any ideas?

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Tom Mann Centuria

What was a sweet thing to do? I have no idea, sorry.

burnsey1987

Tom Mann Centuria wrote: »

What was a sweet thing to do? I have no idea, sorry.

Me asking her whether or not she really wanted a hug

endacl

e3efbe832b6d49e3fa41ff3e76a0721a---problems-totally-me.jpg

Tom Mann Centuria

burnsey1987 wrote: »

Me asking her whether or not she really wanted a hug

Right, it was certainly polite, so that's good.

Purple Mountain

This whole #MeToo PC debacle is getting out of hand dude!

TheChizler

Are you saying you asked for consent to hug her after she asked for a hug or feel she should have asked for consent?

Either way you may be over thinking this...

burnsey1987

TheChizler wrote: »

Are you saying you asked for consent to hug her after she asked for a hug or feel she should have asked for consent?

Either way you may be over thinking this...

Yes, she asked me for a hug and I asked her if she actually wanted to

ahnowbrowncow

Sounds like you could be in trouble so I'd hide low for awhile. And buy yourself a fake moustache.

[Deleted User]

This is a disturbing read.. I clicked here looking for your typical late-Sunday-night consent thread by a creepy one-post-Dec-2017 OP, not whatever this is

Junkyard Tom

She's probably pregnant now after that sensual hug and will trap you in a life of indentured servitude.

Run like fuck. Go to South America. Go to Patagonia and raise Lamas.

Graham

Double opt-in consent for a hug???

*shakes head*

backspin.

Graham wrote: »

Double opt-in consent for a hug???

*shakes head*

Its all a bit 2017

Oldtree

Did you get the consent in writing?

And that consent witnessed?

And signed in the presence of a lawyer?

While both parties were in their right minds?

Happy Christmas

dresden8

If she had taken any alcohol you have actually raped her. You should report yourself to the police.

No point in asking for consent off somebody who was in no fit mental state to give consent.

You are a monster.

You disgust me.

backspin.

Oldtree wrote: »

Did you get the consent in writing?

And that consent witnessed?

And signed in the presence of a lawyer?

While both parties were in their right minds?

Happy Christmas

It wouldn't matter, if she decided to make a complaint there is a cohort of 'listen and believe' people out there who will automatically take the accusers word as gospel anyway.

Oldtree

backspin. wrote: »

It wouldn't matter, if she decided to make a complaint there is a cohort of 'listen and believe' people out there who will automatically take the accusers word as gospel anyway.

Maby, but it wouldn't stand up in court if all the above are adhered to

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

If you don't have it in writing, it's not consent. It doesn't matter if she instigated it and you double checked before she threw her arms about you. You are bad OP and you should feel bad...

Sarcasm, sarcasm everywhere...

Del2005

If she had alcohol on board she couldn't have given consent and since you had alcohol on board neither could you. Both of you are reprehensible people.

enfant terrible

burnsey1987 killed a guy

You should find yourself a safe house or a relative close by because you're probably wanted for murder

[Deleted User]

burnsey1987 wrote: »

Yes, she asked me for a hug and I asked her if she actually wanted to

Your Man of the Year Award is in the post.

[Deleted User]

burnsey1987 wrote: »

Yes, she asked me for a hug and I asked her if she actually wanted to

Would you describe it as a chore hug?

burnsey1987

riffmongous wrote: »

Would you describe it as a chore hug?

I didn't really want to do it initially but I was glad that I went along with it

Canis Lupus

Pretty sure that's literally rape. According to some women anyway. Life has gotten confusing in the last couple of years.

mrkiscool2

I'd also get yourself checked man, some horrible HTI (Hug Transmitted Infections) going about. Influenza is a b!tch, not even a prescription for it or anything!

blackdog2

burnsey1987 wrote: »

"why didn't you just drop the hand?"

The meat of the post is always hidden in plain sight

Ulysses Gaze

Expect to see this outside your door OP

simpsons-movie-mob.jpg?quality=100&w=645

corner of hells

Happens to me all the time.
Generally when I've been drinking too , then I notice Mrs Corners has my wallet in her hand.
Always my fault too.

Alf Veedersane

Louise O'Neill has officially just begun her latest book now.

Fr_Dougal

Not all heroes wear capes.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

burnsey1987 wrote: »

I went out last night by myself. I was sipping a pint while looking at the TV for the most part. A couple of people came and went by the table I was sitting at. I acknowledged them but didn't really talk to them. I wasn't really in the mood for interacting with people to be honest, sometimes I can be like that. One girl asked me "Are you okay?". I assured here I was fine, not a bother. About an hour later a different crowd sitting at the table were moving on to go to a nightclub and one girl said that she wanted a hug. I asked her "are you sure?" She just shouted "yes" and put her arms around my neck. But the people at the next table (a group of girls), I heard one of them say "What the fcuk?!?!?!" and another person (a guy) said "why didn't you just drop the hand?". The girl behind the bar who knows me very well said that what I did was a very sweet thing to do. I think I handled the situation in the right way, but I can't get why other people thought I should have acted differently. Any ideas?

You drop the hand and you'll be reading about it beside a #metoo. You just know it'll go down like that...