Christy42 wrote: » I think it is more when/if guys talk about stuff like grabbing pussy you point out it is not ok (it happens so obviously plenty don't know it is not ok) or if you are a role model you take the role seriously in this regard. Obviously not these won't apply to everyone. The point is to stop it from happening in the long run, not stop it as it happens.
I have seen nothing about stepping in to physically stop an altercation between strangers which seems to be entirely your own assumption.
Nor have I seen anything about all advances by men being sexual assault. That again is your own assumption all stories I have seen have been about unwanted physical contact, frequently with no interaction between the people involved beforehand.
Sonics2k wrote: » That's kinda sad dude. You want them to talk to people about their experiences, but not on social media as an awareness campaign? I mean, you know I'm not fan of this "all men are dangerous" ****e, but your general attitude about this is kinda well, dickish. And I mean that in the nicest way.
Hooks Golf Handicap wrote: » What says Boards ?, a good thing or a bad thing.
Martina1991 wrote: » Promoting? It's creating awareness.
So you're saying for every night I go out and I haven't been assaulted I should put up FB status saying "Thanks to all the great guys out tonight you didn't assault me".
Ok. If you don't know the difference between flirting with a woman and sexual harassment you have a big problem. Better?
Wibbs wrote: » Frankly yes.
Deleted User wrote: » I agree with you. I suspect the vast majority of male posters here agree with you. And it's not as if you walk into a club or bar, and every guy grabs you. Every night. Every time you go out. But that's what you and campaigns like this are promoting. I've never grabbed a strangers ass. I've never wolf whistled at a woman. I don't shout crude comments at women. When I approach a woman for dating, if she refuses, I apologize politely and move away. But this "men" outrage paints all men or even simply the majority of men as behaving badly. I don't see these campaigns shouting thanks to the men who don't behave badly... or highlighting the need to identify the minority that behaves badly. Instead, it's "men".
George Colossal Tomato wrote: » In fairness to him there was a Twitter of an actress earlier in the thread very offended about being asked for her number.
keith_sixteen wrote: » ah would you give over. Who is this "awareness campaign" aimed at? What are it's aims? How will the success of this campaign be judged?
LLMMLL wrote: » Nobody said it was a centralized top down campaign.
keith_sixteen wrote: » So what is it?
Sonics2k wrote: » That's kinda sad dude. You want them to talk to people about their experiences, but not on social media as an awareness campaign?
Wibbs wrote: » And what will it achieve? Sweet eff all. Just "being listened to" on twitter might make some victims feel better because they're not alone and yes that's not to be sniffed at and it might make a few guys who catcall stop and think, but it will do nothing to stop the actual predators, the Weinstiens of this world. Predators that are almost certainly still working and abusing in Hollywood and fashion and music. Predators are different. No amount of shame will stop them. They have to be reported, caught and the key thrown away.
professore wrote: » You think men don't have many of the same threats as you do and are much more likely to be physically assaulted than you are?
Wibbs wrote: » On more than a few occasions on nights out I have witnessed one woman accusing a guy in a group of being creepy and it spread like a virus among most of the other women there(usually increasing in intensity) so the guy yep defo a creep. And the men(who they looked to) got the guy to leave. In the majority of cases the "creep" didn't do a damn thing....
B0jangles wrote: » The last is the most contentious - if you know one of your friends gets obnoxious and 'handsy' when he's drunk - call that out, don't just laugh awkwardly and say that 'he's a tosser but he's a good guy really'. Shame is a powerful motivator. Even if he still thinks it's just good fun, he'll hopefully stop doing it when he's around you and that's a start.
Sonics2k wrote: » What I truly don't get is the apparent frustration, anger or disgust some men are displaying towards this. Why does it bother you so much that some women are sharing their experiences? Much like anything else on the internet, you can scroll past and ignore it, just like I do with any article from Vox Media or anything related to GamerGate.
Wibbs wrote: » Which has the more practical value? Hashtagging on twitter about something that happened/happens or telling those around you, men and women when it does. That's the message that should be promoted. Not suffer in silence twitter while changing bugger all in the long term. And if men™ have a responsibility to stop other men/themselves then surely - and brace yourselves, smelling salts at the ready - women™ should bear as much responsibility for telling them when it is happening? But nope it seems.
Let's regard that repellent greasy producer in the news. If the message was gotten across to women and men when younger that if they're harassed they should go straight to def con one and report it and others listen to those reports and act on them, that creep wouldn't have had the chance to abuse and intimidate women(and some men on the intimidation front) for the guts of three decades. Instead it seems it was an open secret in the business. As Ashley Judd said that when women in that business got together they spoke openly of it and had done so for years. Now fair play, she was first outa the gate to support her after Rose McGowan took a stand and the creep is getting roasted. But all those women who knew and weren't directly victims and especially the men who knew of this open secret and did nothing bear some responsibility for that rat bastard getting away with it for so long Listening to victims is a given, but if victims won't step up and speak, then it's a case of a vigilant ear hearing nothing and that requires women(and men when it happens) to speak up and not on twitter.
Wibbs wrote: » Let's regard that repellent greasy producer in the news. If the message was gotten across to women and men when younger that if they're harassed they should go straight to def con one and report it and others listen to those reports and act on them, that creep wouldn't have had the chance to abuse and intimidate women(and some men on the intimidation front) for the guts of three decades.
Outlaw Pete wrote: » Well, as the saying goes: misery loves company but it hates competition. You can talk about how guys fear other men when out and about but it never seems to resonate. I live in a rough part of Dublin for close to 15 years now and every.single.night I walk down my street I am fearful of being hit from behind as I put the key in my door given that it's happened twice around here. Same with walking down roads alone and hearing foot steps behind me, or seeing a group of lads walking in my direction, given how many men have been set upon and beaten senseless through no fault of their own (example). Indeed I have often changed route to avoid groups of men, particularly groups of drunk men. Do I blame all men or think men (specifically) need to do something? .
Wibbs wrote: » Which has the more practical value? Hashtagging on twitter about something that happened/happens or telling those around you, men and women when it does. That's the message that should be promoted. Not suffer in silence twitter while changing bugger all in the long term. And if men™ have a responsibility to stop other men/themselves then surely - and brace yourselves, smelling salts at the ready - women™ should bear as much responsibility for telling them when it is happening? But nope it seems. Listening to victims is a given, but if victims won't step up and speak, then it's a case of a vigilant ear hearing nothing and that requires women(and men when it happens) to speak up and not on twitter.
LLMMLL wrote: » So there is only one approach to take and it's your approach and any other approach that is not as good as your approach must be derided.
Maybe it would be better if all these women told the men in their lives personally and not on twitter.
There are reasons people don't feel comfortable doing that. You've heard already why women in the thread did not want to tell their parents. Getting them upset. Their father potentially threatening violence to the perpetrator. Having their freedom curtailed etc.
So just because posting on social media is not the perfect answer to the problem does not mean it's useless. And doesn't mean that your imperfect solution is any better really.
Even if you think these women and men who knew bear responsibility you must be able to understand the human psychology as to why they didn't speak up until now.
Sonics2k wrote: » Admittedly, you're not rude, but you're kinda being a bit of a dick in your general tone and approach Wibbs.
Wibbs wrote: » Disagreeing with some of the consensus and not automatically jumping in step and asking questions = bit of a dick? Noted. I'll wear the label happily in that case.
kylith wrote: » "Women are having an issue with men's behaviour. What are women going to do about it?" Let me put it this way: we're not sexually harassing and assaulting ourselves, are we?
Men are having an issue with WOMEN'S behaviour. What are men going to do about it??? Let me put it this way: we're not falsely accusing ourselves of rape, are we? What are YE going to do about it??
Wibbs wrote: » The difference being that "my" plan if it were implemented would make an actual practical difference in stopping women being sexually assaulted, a twitter like this campaign almost certainly will not.
Oh I do and I reserve my blame for those who weren't going to lose out, those who were powerful. If Brad Pitt had gone public when Weinstein tried to grope up his girlfriend at the time Gwyneth Paltrow(or when he tried it on again with a later GF Angelina Jolie) he could have stopped the bastard in his tracks. This is Brad Pitt here. One of the most famous and rich and powerful - can green light a film - actors in the world. If he came out with it he would be listened to. And he's not the only one. Tarantino was very close to HV and had one of his GF's propositioned and he was the biggest ticket director on the go for many a year. If he had said WTF and went public HV would have been in serious trouble. This doesn't include other "stars" and powerful people in Hollywood. This floodgates of other women coming forth would have happened in the nineties, not 2017. But no the hypocritical bastards were happy to suck on his money flowing teat.
Permabear wrote: » This post had been deleted.
Sonics2k wrote: » That's not what I said. By all means, disagree with anyone you wish, even if i don't quite understand why you don't like the concept of women speaking on social media.
Hell, I think this whole 'campaign' is a waste of time, but if it helps some people deal with their issues then go for it.
LLMMLL wrote: » This idea you're peddling that your way is the only way and your certainty about it is nonsense.
Please no actor is unsinkable. Plenty of once a-listers have faded into obscurity and it's easy enough to become the butt of Hollywood jokes. If Pitt came forward independently and said two of his former partners had been harassed by Weinstein it wouldn't be hard to muddy his repuation.
Sure the reason these people didn't do anything was self interest but getting up on your high horse and painting them as awful people just shows a complete lack of understanding in my opinion.