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How to commit the perfect murder.

Nomis21

After watching 150 episodes of 'Forensic Detectives' on Netflix, I am convinced that I now know how to commit a murder without being caught. (Although I have no plans right now to commit murder.)

I am also wondering why anyone would choose a career in 'Blood Splatter Analysis'?

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darced

This post has been deleted.

RainMakerToo

Nomis21 wrote: »

I am also wondering why anyone would choose a career in 'Blood Splatter Analysis'?

begbysback

Nomis21 wrote: »

I am also wondering why anyone would choose a career in 'Blood Splatter Analysis'?

If I'm not mistaken BSA was the murderers downfall in The Staircase - excellent documentary series, would highly recommend it.

I do also remember a blood splatter "expert" being shown up as a complete amateur - possibly in Making a Murderer

You need to watch these 2 before you can receive your certificate and are ready to progress

the_pen_turner

Become a grave maintenance guy doing headstones and doing grave digging.
Buy a few graves in a rural and isolated graveyard and start digging. Go really deep and in under another grave but below the normal dig level. Concrete it up so it can't sink.
Crete some kind of concrete lid and door so it looks normal
Steel identity of victim and set up a separate life in other country.
Murder victim.
Bury in grave beside yours.
Concrete everything up
FIL back up to normal dig levels with that deep clay so it blends in
Then fill back up with normal layers of clay and rocks.
Full it slowly so it won't sink . When full concrete over the top
Then sell to someone who will need it soon and have no-one following them that will need it. Bury them there. This will allow you to dig it again and hid your presence there.

PARlance

darced wrote: »

I'm pretty sure I could pull it off. I do a bit of brazilian jiujitsu so I would apply a choke hold to the victim. They would pass out in about 10 seconds and would be well dead in 10 minutes. The chokes take very little pressure and leave no marks. I'd then hang the corpse off the nearest door with a belt.

EASY.

Hang them off a door with a belt???

mfceiling

Remember reading an interview with a pathologist years ago and he said there was one way to murder a person that would leave no trace of it being a crime.

He wouldn't say what it was.

darced

This post has been deleted.

Overheal

I thought you just became a politician.

js35

Feed the body to the pigs ala bricktop in snatch

NickNickleby

tomwaterford wrote: »

I'm not sure....but I know you can buy 50KG bags of concentrate lime to spread out of a spinner that's like 8 times stronger than ordinary ground lime,you buy from a quarry

-my knowledge of this solely relates to farming practices

I think Conor74 is correct, the stuff OP should use is quicklime. However, with no research whatsoever

I think quicklime is a controlled substance. So only criminals have access to it.

Johngoose

This could become a himan for hire thread. ;-)

Pat Mustard

mfceiling wrote: »

Remember reading an interview with a pathologist years ago and he said there was one way to murder a person that would leave no trace of it being a crime.

He wouldn't say what it was.

If the State pathologist was murdered, she wouldn't be able give evidence in court as to cause of death.

NickNickleby

Pat Mustard wrote: »

If the State pathologist was murdered, she wouldn't be able give evidence in court as to cause of death.

That's an idea "The General" had years ago. He car bombed a Forensic Scientist in an effort to prevent his evidence being used. The Wikipedia entry mentions that Dr O'Donovan (the scientist) retired in 2002. However it doesn't mention that he suffered ongoing pain ever since. Read an interview by him, and since then I always wonder about the survivors of terrorist outrages, because before that, I used to naively think that they got off lucky.

Sorry for the downer, but its amazing how quickly this came to mind.

imme

Garda . ie
Is on to you by now OP
=D

ZuM16

Johngoose wrote: »

This could become a himan for hire thread. ;-)

Himan is always available for hire:

super_furry

Bullets yeah? But.....they're made out of the victim's frozen blood! Like real frozen blood!

harry Bailey esq

Nomis21 wrote: »

After watching 150 episodes of 'Forensic Detectives' on Netflix, I am convinced that I now know how to commit a murder without being caught. (Although I have no plans right now to commit murder.)

I am also wondering why anyone would choose a career in 'Blood Splatter Analysis'?

Taking another's life is a very serious matter, and that's putting it lightly. Hire the most professional fellow you can afford and it should be a piece of piss, if you pay peanuts you get monkeys.

Nabber

I can’t remember where I read this. But serial killers usually take longer to find as they often have no connection with the victim, where as most murders, the people involved know each other.

jaxxx

PM me details would ya? lol

(I'm joking btw... or am I? :eek:)

callaway92

darced wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

You'd have prints on the ropes, prints on the body...

Not a good way to murder imo.

the_pen_turner

Nabber wrote: »

I can’t remember where I read this. But serial killers usually take longer to find as they often have no connection with the victim, where as most murders, the people involved know each other.

what are you saying. widen the massacre

jaxxx

callaway92 wrote: »

You'd have prints on the ropes, prints on the body...

Not a good way to murder imo.

But... what if you put a condom over each hand and gloves over the condoms? :pac:

Fighting Tao

Nomis21 wrote: »

You don't have the curiosity to ask me how it's done?

No.

harry Bailey esq

imme wrote: »

Garda . ie
Is on to you by now OP
=D

F*'kin right they are. I'll tell ya something for nuthin, I wouldn't go smuggling any garlic if I were in his shoes.

freshpopcorn

Well I wouldn't watch a load of episodes online that could be traced to me for starters!

Nabber

the_pen_turner wrote: »

what are you saying. widen the massacre

Pick your target at random

cml387

It used to be said in Glasgow that the perfect murder would be to wait until your victim came home from the pub balubahs and fell asleep.Just light a chip pan and retire to a safe distance.

the_pen_turner

Nabber wrote: »

Pick your target at random

I'm not sure that would work.
if I opened the phone book(do these still exist) randomly chose someone there would be several connections to the person. you would be related, work together, be friend with their sister or went to the same collage

scuby

So many options !!!

I'd go the slow painful route.....
Hunger Games style in the woods, slit the Achilles, maybe a knee capping.
Tied up, 6inch nail into the thigh, wired up to a generator.

In a house, change the light bulbs for slightly bigger bulbs, inject some petrol or similar into bulbs, wait for lights to come on and a few mins later, lights out !!!
OK, I need to stop typing now

[Deleted User]

the_pen_turner wrote: »

you would be related, work together, be friend with their sister or went to the same collage

Boss, we found tickets for exhibitions of Matisse and Hirst...it could be a lead...