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Insulted at an Interview

LegacyUser

Hi All,

Just looking for a bit of advice.

I should probably let this go, however it really upset me and I am wondering what to do. Now I know by making a complaint it won't benefit me in anyway, but having been looking for work for a few months now with no luck, I have been astounded at the amount of smug, ignorant interviewers (usually high up managers).

An interview the other day was particularly bad. And I do not know if I should make a formal complaint or just grin and bare it and continue to let people speak to me in such a manner , as I need a job.

The interviewer asked me my age.

She then said " I am always concerned about people who are later in life and haven't had it happen for them yet"

I did not know what to say. I just finished a masters and I have a lot of work experience.

At the end of the interview she reiterated again her concern about my age..and asked me "why hasn't it happened for you yet?"

I didn't know what to say, and was left bumbling like a mortified idiot, and I am ashamed to say the comment really upset me, feeling depressed and embarrassed following the interview.

I would also like to say this is a large Multinational IT company.

Does anyone have experience of this in interviews? If so, how can you deal with it/ respond to offensive interviewers?

I am exhausted from dealing with these kinds of people at interviews.

Thanks for any advice.

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server down

AnneFrank wrote: »

complaining is for the weak, you have a masters degree, get back out there you will get somethings that's for you, good luck

Or not complaining is for the weak. Maybe the OP should send some flowers? Thank the interviewer for her unkind words? Offer to mind the kids for free.

Screw that. The interviewer was unprofessional, bullying and put the company at risk of a lawsuit and bad publicity. I'd walk out telling here I intended to have her fired..

Gerry T

TrustedApple wrote:

But each role is a role up higher on the ladder.

TrustedApple wrote:

To be fair I have jump hop quite a lot.

TrustedApple wrote:

But each role is a role up higher on the ladder.

TrustedApple wrote:

I have went from inturn to head of a dept for the EU in 31 months and have been in 4 company's........

TrustedApple wrote:

You just have to see the jobs to and to give faith in your workers as well. I am now doing endless projects and can see how people who have been in management for 15 years are doing mistakes and costing money after 30 mins

Don't believe a word of this ^^

HandsomeBob

Gerry T wrote: »

Don't believe a word of this ^^

If Trusted Apple is a project manager, I believe that he or she believes every word of what they're saying.....whether it's reality or not is another question!

No offence to trustedapple of course (as I said not sure they're a PM but sounds like they are), but I've seen project managers come in on ridiculous money, think they know how to change the world, turn the place upside down and leave when the project is "completed" and the place is in tatters.

Seriously, can't say enough how much I think that profession is for absolute charlatans on a corporate level. Saw a couple come in in particular whose formula was successful in a major car manufacturer and tried to come into my place and forcibly apply the same formula without even trying to mould it to suit my profession. Absolute disaster.

Off topic rant done. :pac:

Gerry T

Well I'll give him/her benefit of the doubt, but I don't think he's a native english speaker, not from that post.

Gerry T

givyjoe wrote:

Asking someone's age, followed by the interviewers statement.. is a clear indication that the interviewer was considering not hiring the OP, with their age being a factor. That is quite simply discrimination on the grounds of age.

Intent is important, yes it was a poorly phrased question but the way I read it the interviewer is trying to find out why the OP has stayed at a bottom rung. The fact the OP got an interview would indicate her age isn't a factor otherwise she wouldn't have got an interview.
To me it's a question asking the OP to explain why she hadn't taken a step up before now, was a position ever offered. I don't expect applicants to be perfect, nor are interviewers.

HandsomeBob

To be fair I was asked a similar question at the ripe old age of 26 when going for a promotion. Apparently I had spent too long on a handy number in the post for 18 months.

It's an ignorant question at any age really but the intent is to test one's resolve.

Heart Break Kid

Similar a question I had at 29. Worked full time (since 18) but went back to college for 4 years. I thought it was a fair question about my drive and motivations. Was I a complacent individual?
What happened, that your applying for and role that 23-24yrs grads apply for? (Not sure what the candidate type of person for your role was.)

My answer simply was, I got stuck and was unsure what I wanted to do. Going back to college gave me a chance to remotivate myself and set new standards and expectations to compete for something better.

Also its rather easy to figure out someones age looking at their CV.

skallywag

Heart Break Kid wrote: »

What happened, that your applying for and role that 23-24yrs grads apply for?

I also think that this in itself is a perfectly fair question, which I would also ask myself. I would normally phrase it myself around the lines of 'It's a little unusual to have someone of your age apply for this position, etc' and then gauge the reaction. It often strikes up an interesting discussion, where the candidate can actually have the chance to sell themselves very well.

On the other hand, someone coming out with "I am always concerned about people who are later in life and haven't had it happen for them yet", well that's just someone acting like a complete bitch.

Danzy

insultedatinterview wrote: »

Hi All,

Just looking for a bit of advice.

I should probably let this go, however it really upset me and I am wondering what to do. Now I know by making a complaint it won't benefit me in anyway, but having been looking for work for a few months now with no luck, I have been astounded at the amount of smug, ignorant interviewers (usually high up managers).

An interview the other day was particularly bad. And I do not know if I should make a formal complaint or just grin and bare it and continue to let people speak to me in such a manner , as I need a job.

The interviewer asked me my age.

She then said " I am always concerned about people who are later in life and haven't had it happen for them yet"

I did not know what to say. I just finished a masters and I have a lot of work experience.

At the end of the interview she reiterated again her concern about my age..and asked me "why hasn't it happened for you yet?"

I didn't know what to say, and was left bumbling like a mortified idiot, and I am ashamed to say the comment really upset me, feeling depressed and embarrassed following the interview.

I would also like to say this is a large Multinational IT company.

Does anyone have experience of this in interviews? If so, how can you deal with it/ respond to offensive interviewers?

I am exhausted from dealing with these kinds of people at interviews.

Thanks for any advice.

It was not a nice question and the interviewer knew that, it was designed to see how you handle not nice questions, uncomfortable situations, maybe it was a genuine concern he had.

Unfortunately, your reaction in this post has shown that they probably were correct, I'm sad to say, in not offering you the position.

You are the one still running with it.

Maybe you should talk to a Cognitive Behaviour Therapist about things like this, I did, after a long period of unemployment and black depression.

server down

Gerry T wrote: »

Intent is important, yes it was a poorly phrased question but the way I read it the interviewer is trying to find out why the OP has stayed at a bottom rung. The fact the OP got an interview would indicate her age isn't a factor otherwise she wouldn't have got an interview.
To me it's a question asking the OP to explain why she hadn't taken a step up before now, was a position ever offered. I don't expect applicants to be perfect, nor are interviewers.

skallywag wrote: »

I also think that this in itself is a perfectly fair question, which I would also ask myself. I would normally phrase it myself around the lines of 'It's a little unusual to have someone of your age apply for this position, etc' and then gauge the reaction. It often strikes up an interesting discussion, where the candidate can actually have the chance to sell themselves very well.

On the other hand, someone coming out with "I am always concerned about people who are later in life and haven't had it happen for them yet", well that's just someone acting like a complete bitch.

If you guys work in industry can you actually go out and do some interview training so you don't end up costing your company money and possibly losing your jobs? If you don't know this simple rule you are probably a liability.

Clearly though there is very little training in Ireland, I wonder if it is because people are afraid to litigate.

Danzy

Gerry T wrote: »

Intent is important, yes it was a poorly phrased question but the way I read it the interviewer is trying to find out why the OP has stayed at a bottom rung. The fact the OP got an interview would indicate her age isn't a factor otherwise she wouldn't have got an interview.
To me it's a question asking the OP to explain why she hadn't taken a step up before now, was a position ever offered. I don't expect applicants to be perfect, nor are interviewers.

This is the thing, if the interviewer didn't think the person was a credible choice, they would not have wasted their time interviewing or selecting them.

It hit a raw nerve for the candidate and that is why it is playing on them, it is fear that they have, that it will stand out on the CV.

Truth is if you answer it right no one will care, but it is how you handle it.

server down

Grrrr.

The thread came to a resolution and now the stupids are back again with their "suck it up" nonsense. Where sucking it up is doing nothing and slinking away. Thats not actually brave.

beefburrito

I'm probably going off topic.
Myself and a friend of mine for the craic apply for jobs and go for the interviews.
We're educated farmer's, anyhow there's nothing more pleasurable than turning around the interview on those arrogant power tripper's....
Especially those low life's high up on the lickarse scale....

When one turns it around and tell the interviewer you think they have an attitude problem and couldn't see yourself in their company...or else tell them you heard they're **** to work for...
Then tell them you're old stock and know all about worker's rights etc

The best interview I seen was spud on train spotting lol

beefburrito

Danzy wrote: »

It was not a nice question and the interviewer knew that, it was designed to see how you handle not nice questions, uncomfortable situations, maybe it was a genuine concern he had.

Unfortunately, your reaction in this post has shown that they probably were correct, I'm sad to say, in not offering you the position.

You are the one still running with it.

Maybe you should talk to a Cognitive Behaviour Therapist about things like this, I did, after a long period of unemployment and black depression.

Lol my reaction to the asshle interviewer would be more than likely the answer Roy Keane would have responded with

server down

beefburrito wrote: »

Lol my reaction to the asshle interviewer would be more than likely the answer Roy Keane would have responded with

yeh, but you werent looking for a job, so that is easy.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Why was the OP called for an interview in the first place? I don't get this at all. Your CV matched their profile. So "making it" wasn't exactly something they were looking for. Either way, everybody is different. Not everybody is ambitious, but that doesn't make you incompetent or lazy.

OP, it sounds like you dodged a bullet here. The interviewer was just terrible, very unprofessional and comments like that have no place in an interview. Leave your glassdoor review and move one.

Best of luck with your job search, something will come up shortly

*Edit: IF this question ever rears it's ugly head again, answer with "But, I have made it" and look confused at them... :P

Gerry T

server down wrote:

If you guys work in industry can you actually go out and do some interview training so you don't end up costing your company money and possibly losing your jobs? If you don't know this simple rule you are probably a liability.

I've conducted many an interview and I would ask why a candidate hadn't moved up, but not in the way the OP was asked. Actually if an interviewer didn't ask about the lack of movement then their not doing their job and should go on the course your prescribing.
I've said the question was poorly phrased a number of times, I also believe the intent is to discover if the OP hadn't progressed their career as the CV suggested.
Are you suggesting using the word age in an interview is taboo, if so that's political correctness gone wrong.

server down

Hope Thousands Cane wrote: »

Why was the OP called for an interview in the first place? I don't get this at all. Your CV matched their profile. So "making it" wasn't exactly something they were looking for. Either way, everybody is different. Not everybody is ambitious, but that doesn't make you incompetent or lazy.

OP, it sounds like you dodged a bullet here. The interviewer was just terrible, very unprofessional and comments like that have no place in an interview. Leave your glassdoor review and move one.

Best of luck with your job search, something will come up shortly

HR or a smaller department probably brought this woman in. Some companies ask high level executives from other departments to sit in.

Dont leave a glass door review an move on. Take some legal or other action.

server down

Gerry T wrote: »

I've conducted many an interview and I would ask why a candidate hadn't moved up, but not in the way the OP was asked. Actually if an interviewer didn't ask about the lack of movement then their not doing their job and should go on the course your prescribing.

Thats exactly what is at question here. How it was put. If it was put in a different way there wouldn't be an issue and we wouldn't be here. The legality of the question depends on how it was put.

I've said the question was poorly phrased a number of times, I also believe the intent is to discover if the OP hadn't progressed their career as the CV suggested.
Are you suggesting using the word age in an interview is taboo, if so that's political correctness gone wrong.

You should ask your company for some interview training.

server down

It might be because I spent 10 years in the US, a more litigious legalistic society, but I am amazed people who supposedly interview here are in any way ok with this interviewer.

beefburrito

server down wrote: »

yeh, but you werent looking for a job, so that is easy.

True I agree with you there,but from dealing with the so called elites of this country...
It's nice to put them in their place now and again.

Maybe I'm just being a tosser myself but there's something gratifying about being a layman and watching the almighty powerful new career monsters get perplexed and mystified

Tony EH

Why are people assuming that the OP was looking for a "higher up" position? They only say that they were "looking" for "a job" and that they have a "masters" and "lots of experience".

To me, that just sounds like they are trying to get back into the workplace, after time out to do their masters degree.

Also, the bullshit about "climbing ladders" or "making it" is all a lot of old pony. It's a real American type, faux, success dynamic that really means bugger all in the real world. If someone is a productive employee on a team for 20+ years, but didn't want to actually lead that team, or become CEO of their company, it doesn't mean that they are a "bad" employee or that they hadn't "made it". If a teacher in a school remains a teacher in a school, nobody says they're a bad teacher, or it hasn't "happened" for them, if they're not the prinicipal.

There's a weird attitude these days of rushing to look down on people for what YOU think they haven't "achieved", without a single bit of insight into that person.

Being a team lead, or dept. manager, or CEO mightn't be the gauge of "success" that a particular person has for themselves. They might be perfectly feel perfectly "successful" as a 20 or 30 year graphic designer or whatnot, without ever having the desire to actually lead a design team and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

server down

Tony EH wrote: »

Why are people assuming that the OP was looking for a "higher up" position? They only say that they were "looking" for "a job" and that they have a "masters" and "lots of experience".

To me, that just sounds like they are trying to get back into the workplace, after time out to do their masters degree.

Also, the bullshit about "climbing ladders" or "making it" is all a lot of old pony. It's a real American type, faux, success dynamic that really means bugger all in the real world. If someone is a productive employee on a team for 20+ years, but didn't want to actually lead that team, or become CEO of their company, it doesn't mean that they are a "bad" employee or that they hadn't "made it". If a teacher in a school remains a teacher in a school, nobody says they're a bad teacher, or it hasn't "happened" for them, if they're not the prinicipal.

There's a weird attitude these days of rushing to look down on people for what YOU think they haven't "achieved", without a single bit of insight into that person.

Being a team lead, or dept. manager, or CEO mightn't be the gauge of "success" that a particular person has for themselves. They might be perfectly feel perfectly "successful" as a 20 or 30 year graphic designer or whatnot, without ever having the desire to actually lead a design team and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Yes everybody is assuming the question the interviewer didn't ask. If this woman went for a role as an accountant but had not yet become a manager then the question was irrelevant ( as well as being illegal in asking age).

If the questions was meant to be "You are only a junior accountant, but I would expect someone of your experience* to be senior by now" then that is legal. But she didn't ask that.

The actual use of language here matters.

* not age.

Gerry T

server down wrote:

Thats exactly what is at question here. How it was put. If it was put in a different way there wouldn't be an issue and we wouldn't be here. The legality of the question depends on how it was put.

That's not why we're here, try keep up. The OP asked for advise, she didn't ask people's opinion on how a question was phrased. My advise is not to get embarrassed when someone asks a stupid question. I agree the phrasing of the question was wrong, but the Intent was to dig deeper into the OPs career. There was no evidence that the question was suggesting the OP was to old to do the job. In fact the opposite as the OP got an interview.
Tell me how the question asked suggests the interviewer is thinking this person is too old to do this job?

Tony EH

Gerry T wrote: »

Tell me how the question asked suggests the interviewer is thinking this person is too old to do this job?

She then said "I am always concerned about people who are later in life and haven't had it happen for them yet"

I did not know what to say. I just finished a masters and I have a lot of work experience.

At the end of the interview she reiterated again her concern about my age..and asked me "why hasn't it happened for you yet?"

This "interviewer" is clearly making assumptions on the OP's ability to the job based on her age. Otherwise there's no reason to even mention this.

There's little room for jumping through hoops here. It's quite clear what this woman was suggesting.

Gerry T

Tony EH wrote:

This "interviewer" is clearly making assumptions on the OP's ability to the job based on her age. Otherwise there's no reason to even mention this.

That's not how I see it. The interviewer is asking why the OP hasn't being offered a simular job before now. It doesn't say her current age is an issue. Let's suppose the OP had "made it" then that question wouldn't have come up. It's not about the OPs age, it's about the perceived lack of advancement.
This was a poorly phrased question, but it was an opportunity for the OP to explain, taking on a masters and expanding on that might have put her in a very strong position.

ligerdub

Danzy wrote: »

It was not a nice question and the interviewer knew that, it was designed to see how you handle not nice questions, uncomfortable situations, maybe it was a genuine concern he had.

Unfortunately, your reaction in this post has shown that they probably were correct, I'm sad to say, in not offering you the position.

The only thing correct about this is that the OP won't be working for that company.

There are plenty of ways to test a candidate, this was essentially an insult and a power trip. There is no "they were correct" in this scenario. Their behaviour could have prevented them from getting their ideal candidate.

There seems too much emphasis on employers taking any tactic they want and it being ok. They are obviously have free will over how they go about their business, but it doesn't mean that the guys in the mix to work for them have to go along with these methods, certainly not in this instance.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

server down wrote: »

HR or a smaller department probably brought this woman in. Some companies ask high level executives from other departments to sit in.

Dont leave a glass door review an move on. Take some legal or other action.

What legal action? What is "other" action?

Gerry T

Tony EH wrote:

Why are people assuming that the OP was looking for a "higher up" position? They only say that they were "looking" for "a job" and that they have a "masters" and "lots of experience".

It's sort of implied by the question. That the OP has plenty of experience but hasn't advanced in her career. Leading us to assume the OP is looking for a step up.
The OP hasn't clarified nor has she said that's not the case, until she does we'll keep guessing.
If it were a simular job spec why would the interviewer ask that question.

server down

Gerry T wrote: »

It's sort of implied by the question. That the OP has plenty of experience but hasn't advanced in her career. Leading us to assume the OP is looking for a step up.

You are assuming too much. The interviewer didn't ask this question: "Why are you applying for this position without the requisite experience". She mentioned something about not making it at a certain age. Even if that were the intent, age shouldn't have come into the question.

The OP hasn't clarified nor has she said that's not the case, until she does we'll keep guessing.
If it were a simular job spec why would the interviewer ask that question.

I don't think anybody thinks this interviewer is a brainiac. She mentioned age, which puts the company at risk of an action. She clearly was on a power trip.