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The Fathers Thread

Melion

Am i the only male that looks in here?

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CathyMoran

Cork Truck Driver I wish you all the best. we virtually lived in Holles street from the time we first got pregnant (we had multiple miscarriages

) to when out two were born, being a type 1 diabetic and then less than 5 year cancer survivor did not help (the staff were lovely).

jlm29

Toots wrote: »

I wonder does anyone actually go private if they don't have health insurance?

I got my statement from Laya yesterday for my 3 night stay after my last baby. €2800 paid on the claim- I didn't think it was too outrageous (this from the girl who's bank balance is printed in red at the moment!!), and I could see how someone might pay it if they had even €10k sitting in the bank. I know the outpatient fees would be down on Top of this though, so it would be another couple of thousand on top of that.
I had to go theatre for removal of my placenta, and repair of a third degree tear, and the reassurance of having a consultant do it was worth it. I figure I won't get another set of lady bits, and I'd like the ones I have looked after!!!

boardsuser1

CathyMoran wrote: »

Cork Truck Driver I wish you all the best. we virtually lived in Holles street from the time we first got pregnant (we had multiple miscarriages ) to when out two were born, being a type 1 diabetic and then less than 5 year cancer survivor did not help (the staff were lovely).

Thanks Cathy.

The wife has been admitted to the hospital.

We've no idea for how long though.

On the plus side I managed to convince the doctor to have a look at the gender if he was able to see.

He found one of them and said don't set it in stone but it looks like a boy, he showed me what he was looking at also.

I hope you are back to full health.

boardsuser1

Has anyone's wife/partner been asked during pregnancy if they want their tubes tied by midwives?

My wife was asked today, the midwife said they'd need to book her in soon if she was.

What in the name of god is it with Hospitals and birth control?

boardsuser1

Loveinapril wrote: »

I think it is a pretty appropriate question to someone who has loads of kids and is obviously having a tough pregnancy. Some of your posts seem like you would be offended by anything!

I'm offended by 2 things, that and how shockingly men are treated in maternity hospitals.

Not a rant, just my opinion.

mitresize5

As a man I've been treated with nothing but respect by the maternity services so it's not fair to generalise.

boardsuser1

mitresize5 wrote: »

As a man I've been treated with nothing but respect by the maternity services so it's not fair to generalise.

A group I've been chatting to here in recent weeks have said they are having similar issues, every hospital seems to be different outside the main one here.

mitresize5

And second to that I don't know what you're expecting. They are maternity hospitals, for women, having babies.

In my opinion the man should be there to support his wife/partner and blend into the background when possible. Surfacing every now and then to ask questions or lend a hand when needed.

That's what I and most of my buddies have done and I've never heard a negative comment about the mat services in Ireland from any of them

boardsuser1

mitresize5 wrote: »

And second to that I don't know what you're expecting. They are maternity hospitals, for women, having babies.

In my opinion the man should be there to support his wife/partner and blend into the background when possible. Surfacing every now and then to ask questions or lend a hand when needed.

That's what I and most of my buddies have done and I've never heard a negative comment about the mat services in Ireland from any of them

Spend some time here in Cork and you'll see it isn't as straightforward.

The wife wants with me with her and they won't always respect her wishes.

She asked them a question one night and they couldn't give a straight answer, why are they allowing women in with the patients no questions asked but stopping the men.

I also had a door slammed in my face by a midwife, I mentioned it here previously.

I've spoken to several expecting fathers who are in the same boat including my neighbour.

Calhoun

mitresize5 wrote: »

And second to that I don't know what you're expecting. They are maternity hospitals, for women, having babies.

In my opinion the man should be there to support his wife/partner and blend into the background when possible. Surfacing every now and then to ask questions or lend a hand when needed.

That's what I and most of my buddies have done and I've never heard a negative comment about the mat services in Ireland from any of them

Are you public or private ? And are you ok with being excluded from checkups ect ?

mitresize5

Both on separate occasions

I wouldn't be happy being excluded but then again it's never happened me, or anyone else I know, before including family members who went public in Cork.

So either Cork maternity has regressed 30 years and been taken over by the nuns again or there's something else at play.

Roesy

The only time my husband was ever asked to wait outside in CUMH was when I was being triaged in the Emergency Room. This would have been at the start of my last pregnancy which they thought was an ectopic. I was admitted as a public patient at that time. I went private for for the rest of that pregnancy and my other two though. My routine appointments were in my consultants rooms and my husband never came into the midwife with me for the blood pressure/urine testing though. He did come in when I was seeing the doct though. I do however have a friend who found out she had lost her baby when the dr refused to wait until they called her husband in from the waiting room and started scanning her.

Calhoun

mitresize5 wrote: »

Both on separate occasions

I wouldn't be happy being excluded but then again it's never happened me, or anyone else I know, before including family members who went public in Cork.

So either Cork maternity has regressed 30 years and been taken over by the nuns again or there's something else at play.

Well then you can appreciate not everyone has the same experience.

Maybe I am just spoilt by watching all the pregnancy programs with the wife but I firmly believe the whole Irish system is not to the same standard as other places.

rainbow kirby

Calhoun wrote: »

I firmly believe the whole Irish system is not to the same standard as other places.

Let's just say you're far from the only one with that view.

Calhoun

Don't get me wrong either my first daughter spent time in the SCBU and was only 4 pounds when born. The nurses were amazing and we looked after her very well.

There was a big problem with both under staffing and some of the other things I mentioned on this thread earlier.

Like the system being a broken as it is there was actually women who hadn't attended the ante-natal classes, one of the two nurses on the ward had to show a mother how to look after her baby it was insane.

At the same time while this was going on they had forgotten to give my wife the drug injection to develop my daughters lungs I had to go chase them.

DrumSteve

While the system itself is a bit messy, I would say that every doctor, nurse and consultant we have met over the last 9 months has been great.

boardsuser1

DrumSteve wrote: »

While the system itself is a bit messy, I would say that every doctor, nurse and consultant we have met over the last 9 months has been great.

It's hit and miss with the hospitals I've noticed.

Both good and bad.

boardsuser1

Behaviour of staff top reason for complaints about maternity services at Portlaoise
http://jrnl.ie/3604846

DrumSteve

Cork Truck Driver wrote: »

It's hit and miss with the hospitals I've noticed.

Both good and bad.

I’ve only been in the Coombe so I wouldn’t be familiar with the other hospitals

Pawwed Rig

DrumSteve wrote: »

While the system itself is a bit messy, I would say that every doctor, nurse and consultant we have met over the last 9 months has been great.

I couldn't agree with that.
I have experienced many uncaring often hostile nurses and doctors in the HSE in general.
Had one absolute c*** of a doctor scold my Father (who had advanced alzheimers) for not looking after his hydration properly.
I have found some nurses to be snappish and abrupt to more demanding patients too.

I have vivid memories of a poor elderly man pleading for help in a hospital bed while indifferent nurses walked by again and again.

We always hear of the heroic front line staff with nurses and Gardaí always mentioned. The Gardaí have shown themselves as an organisation to be lacking but imo the HSE as a whole is worse.

Within the maternity arena I have more limited experience but I would say that most of the staff were adequate. Some less than adequate. Fewer better than adequate.

DrumSteve

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

I couldn't agree with that.
I have experienced many uncaring often hostile nurses and doctors in the HSE in general.
Had one absolute c*** of a doctor scold my Father (who had advanced alzheimers) for not looking after his hydration properly.
I have found some nurses to be snappish and abrupt to more demanding patients too.

I have vivid memories of a poor elderly man pleading for help in a hospital bed while indifferent nurses walked by again and again.

We always hear of the heroic front line staff with nurses and Gardalways mentioned. The Gardaave shown themselves as an organisation to be lacking but imo the HSE as a whole is worse.

Within the maternity arena I have more limited experience but I would say that most of the staff were adequate. Some less than adequate. Fewer better than adequate.

Okay, but again I am only talking about my experience in the Maternity area.

boardsuser1

DrumSteve wrote: »

I’ve only been in the Coombe so I wouldn’t be familiar with the other hospitals

Nonetheless that is still an experience an expecting father looking in here might take into account.

DrumSteve

Cork Truck Driver wrote: »

Nonetheless that is still an experience an expecting father looking in here might take into account.

Okay, but as I posted originally I was only talking about my experience. Which is a positive one.

boardsuser1

DrumSteve wrote: »

Okay, but as I posted originally I was only talking about my experience. Which is a positive one.

Glad to hear you did, i hope for a similar experience down here.

DrumSteve

Cork Truck Driver wrote: »

Glad to hear you did, i hope for a similar experience down here.

The only real issue I had was appointments being rescheduled/ never seeing the same consultant.

boardsuser1

DrumSteve wrote: »

The only real issue I had was appointments being rescheduled/ never seeing the same consultant.

That happens every time here, only once every was it the same consultant for more than 1 appointment.

Are you back and forth every 4 weeks?

DrumSteve

Cork Truck Driver wrote: »

That happens every time here, only once every was it the same consultant for more than 1 appointment.

Are you back and forth every 4 weeks?

Not anymore (she was due yesterday).

More like once a week at this stage.

boardsuser1

DrumSteve wrote: »

Not anymore (she was due yesterday).

More like once a week at this stage.

Wow, best of luck, hope all goes well.

Once a week is common towards the end (last 4 weeks)

DrumSteve

Cork Truck Driver wrote: »

Wow, best of luck, hope all goes well.

Once a week is common towards the end (last 4 weeks)

Cheers man.

Yeah, I'd prefer for her not to have to get induced if at all possible and let it go naturally. Wouldn't like either of them under any unnecessary stress.

Toots

Is it your first?