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Neighbours calling in at inappropriate hours

JupiterKid

I live in a small apartment complex and I have got to know a few of my neighbours pretty well in the just over 2 years I've been here. I know a lot of people don't consider knowing your neighbours well is important these days but I think it's a really nice thing in our ever increasingly atomised, individualistic, selfish world.

Anywho, I've a neighbour who is a retired chap of 70 who lives 2 apts above mine and we've got to know each other really well. I've been up at his place for dinner and likewise he's been down at mine for dinner and a chat.

The thing is, sometimes he phones me late, I mean really late at night to see if he can call in. Now I don't drink anymore but on these nights I'm sure he's been out for a few jars and is looking for some company - maybe even a bit of weed that I toke now and then.

But is phoning to call in at 2.38am in the morning taking the piss? He's a genuinely nice guy, a divorced grandfather who I suspect is a bit lonely at times up there.

Tonight I just ignored the call. I felt sorta bad but also miffed at him calling me so late. I'm a night owl and on weekend night stay up to all hours at times and he knows that but isn't this too much?

So how do I put it delicately and politely to him that calling in at all hours is not on? As I said he's a lovely neighbour who can be great company but not half cut at 3 in the morning.

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Vic_08

JupiterKid wrote: »

I live in a small apartment complex and I have got to know a few of my neighbours pretty well in the just over 2 years I've been here. I know a lot of people don't think knowing your neighbours well is important these days but I think it's a really nice thing on our ever increasingly atomised, individualistic world.

Anywho, I've a neighbour who is a retired chap of 70 who lives 2 apts above mine and we've got to know each other really well. I've been up at his

... Narcolepsy support group?

Jim Bob Scratcher

Your post reminds me of this song OP

jamesbere

What a truly touching story

I'm touching myself right now reading it

hatrickpatrick

My neighbour banged on my door at 3AM last night. Can you believe that? 3AM!!! Luckily I was still up, practising the bagpipes.

tfer

I guess the neighbour just called

AllForIt

Moral of the story - social contact with neighbors is highly overrated - I'm not being glib, I mean it sincerely.

[Deleted User]

JupiterKid wrote: »

But is phoning to call in at 2.38am in the morning taking the piss?

Completely.

You'll just have to be direct. Tell him it's far too late. But to call over tomorrow at 8 for a couple of hours, just so he won't brood. If it continues with the 2.30 stuff, you will end up avoiding him because that's nuts. But if you want to remain friends, be firm now.

Realt Dearg Sec

AllForIt wrote: »

Moral of the story - social contact with neighbors is highly overrated - I'm not being glib, I mean it sincerely.

Yeah it's a bad moral to take from the story but it's probably true. I like the idea of a bunch of close neighbours, I grew up in a place like that, and my parents still live there. But if it's not that kind of place then the ones who respond positively to those overtures are likely to be quite lonely, which is fine, or a bit off center, which can get very annoying very quickly. Sounds like that's what happened here. I doubt he means to take advantage but I'm sure when he's on the sauce he gets in the mood for company.

We had a neighbour living down the road when I was young. And like I say it was a pretty good community, this guy's daughters were my friends and all. Occasionally he'd drop in to say hello. At about two in the morning after a feed off drink. Looking for more drink and rambling on about begrudgers. My Mam couldn't get shut of him, and his wife two doors down the road wondering where the **** he was. He wouldn't look anyone in our family in the eye for a week after one of these adventures. Eejit.

Anyway I'm not sure what my point is here, I think I'd just ignore the calls, he probably wakes up in the morning regretting the call because it will make your friendship weird. Wouldn't even mention it, but I wouldn't answer either. Turn your volume to mute at night and leave it at that. If he asks you about it I'd be surprised to be honest. Doubt he means any harm but I wouldn't be entertaining that ****e either.

jester77

2:38... get the lube out, that's a booty call

McMurphy

Set your boundaries op.

Make it clear to him when is too late, and when is an acceptable time to call.

Heckler

Used to live in a complex like that and had a neighbour just like that !

Nice older (70's) fella but if myself or the ex wife met him in the corridor it was game over.

Then he started calling at all hours. We just wouldn't answer the knock mostly.

He was lonely I guess. His wife had passed years back.

A nice man but ya have to draw a line.

suicide_circus

This is clear indication that he is in the grips of reefer madness since you hooked the old codger with "toking the weed"

Poor Uncle Tom

If he knows you're awake and partaking of drugs when he's already had a skinfull........

Well, everyone knows weed is the munchies for a 70 year old!

Are Am Eye

Kate, I'm eating my breakfast.

Radiant Cool Crazy Nightmare

If he had his own smoke he wouldnt be calling at that hour.

rafatoni

Heckler wrote: »

A nice man but ya have to draw a line.

Jaysus, dont put out a line at 2.38am, he will be there until at least 7am

biko

If you have a smartphone you can set it up so it won't ring/make noise between certain hours.

This is for iphone https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovtuaRAjbFM

Poor Uncle Tom

biko wrote: »

If you have a smartphone you can set it up so it won't ring/make noise between certain hours.

This is for iphone https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovtuaRAjbFM

Or you could actually open your mouth and say it, nobody needs an app for that and he will actually get the message instead of tip toeing around it.

biko

Since OP started a thread in AH instead of just telling the neighbour off himself I thought it'd be best offer a solution rather than the ol' "man the **** up" approach that is so popular on the internet but not as common IRL.

LadyMacBeth_

This is why I avoid making friends with my neighbours. I think you might just have to say to him not to ring after 10/11/X time because it's too late to be ringing someone. Be polite but firm.

I say this but if it were me I wouldn't be able to confront him about it so I'd be ignoring my door bell/ phone :P

PandaPoo

If I was in your position I would just say 'did you ring me at 2.30am the other day? Jesus I don't answer my phone after 11'

I can't be direct and firm, so I'll say what I mean in a jovial manner and hope they get the hint

mzungu

No idea why this chap thinks it is appropriate OP, but if I were you I would let him know that calls at that hour are not on. Hopefully he will get the message.

Lorelli!

When I lived in an apartment before, my oh and I had a few friends over. We weren't being that loud but the neighbour from downstairs knocked in. We hadn't met him yet.

When I answered the door, it turned out I did know him and he was the older brother of an old friend of mine. He just randomly knocked in hoping to join the party! Well you couldn't say no :pac: