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Bullying and Nastiness on Facebook and Twitter

BuilderPlumber

I closed down accounts on Facebook and Twitter long ago due to the amount of bullying and nastiness that goes on. I was meeting a friend earlier who is still on them and the amount of abuse that goes on there is still bad.

Psychological bullying is aided and abetted by social media. For example, a so-called 'friend' can deliberately ignore a person when online or can deliberately not like or share a post for the sole purpose of making the other person feel bad. This sort of thing actually can hurt one more than the nasty comment type of online bullying.

Sadly, this subtle stuff cannot be picked up and dealt with as easily as a racist, sectarian or putdown comment. Sadly, the online bullies are clever and know how to bully within the rules.

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BuilderPlumber

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

This has to be one of the silliest things I have read on this site.

How would you feel then if someone picked on you because of your sexual orientation or whatever, you KNEW that person ignored your posts because of this and you got bombarded by abusive texts every day via social media and a phone from the same person. Not so silly is it!! Think before you judge what someone says as silly.

BuilderPlumber

Omackeral wrote: »

Yeah, you're coming as a bit 'emotional' in your posts there friendo.

Because 1. I know what I am talking about and 2. I explained that deliberate ignoring as part of a mindgames campaign with abusive messaging, etc. is what I am talking about and not just ignoring.

[Deleted User]

BuilderPlumber wrote: »

How would you feel then if someone picked on you because of your sexual orientation or whatever, you KNEW that person ignored your posts because of this and you got bombarded by abusive texts every day via social media and a phone from the same person. Not so silly is it!! Think before you judge what someone says as silly.

Block them across all platforms of communications if that's the case. It's that easy. Block them on FB, Viber, Whatsapp, mobile. Just do it if they're having this effect on you. Take the power from them becuase it's you that's giving it to them by keeping these lines of communication open.

BuilderPlumber

Omackeral wrote: »

Block them across all platforms of communications if that's the case. It's that easy. Block them on FB, Viber, Whatsapp, mobile. Just do it if they're having this effect on you. Take the power from them becuase it's you that's giving it to them by keeping these lines of communication open.

I have done that. Not on FB or Twitter anymore, not on Viber or Whatsapp and have blocked people like that on mobile. Believe me, I have learned my lesson.

[Deleted User]

BuilderPlumber wrote: »

I have done that. Not on FB or Twitter anymore, not on Viber or Whatsapp and have blocked people like that on mobile. Believe me, I have learned my lesson.

Good. So it's a good ending getting rid of bad rubbish?

retro:electro

BuilderPlumber wrote: »

How would you feel then if someone picked on you because of your sexual orientation or whatever, you KNEW that person ignored your posts because of this and you got bombarded by abusive texts every day via social media and a phone from the same person. Not so silly is it!! Think before you judge what someone says as silly.

That's a totally different situation to what your op is about.

kunst nugget

BuilderPlumber wrote: »

How would you feel then if someone picked on you because of your sexual orientation or whatever, you KNEW that person ignored your posts because of this and you got bombarded by abusive texts every day via social media and a phone from the same person. Not so silly is it!! Think before you judge what someone says as silly.

That's not what you were talking about in your OP though. You were going on about people ignoring your posts and how that was bullying which is what people thought was silly. Getting abusive messages is a totally different kettle of fish.

kunst nugget

valoren wrote: »

You are a fool!
Are you accusing me of being stupid?
Are you accusing me of making accusations!?!
What you said is untrue and totally uncalled for
More accusations! And you are calling me a liar now too? You’re being hostile and just name calling now..it’s pathetic...leave me alone.
Why would you say that to me!?
You are harassing me now. You were told to leave me alone.
No, I want an explanation. Why would you say I'm a fool?? Explain what you meant by that.
I TOLD you to stop harassing me! Look everyone, I am being victimized by that evil person! And for NO reason!!!!!!!

You've the strangest inner dialogues…

valoren

kunst nugget wrote: »

You've the strangest inner dialogues…

Not mine. Came across it when reading about bullying before.

Yourself isit

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

Yes. It's clear that it's peaked or peaking. Social networks depend on the networks effect (of course) if enough people move somewhere else then the service becomes less useful and the negative effects are amplified.

Dravokivich

valoren wrote: »

It's not a case of you didn't like it....ergo you're bullying me. Or not liking their inane posts.
It's the blatant, calculated digs at someone that nobody else would suspect that is my point.

For example, if I privately loaned money, say a couple of hundred euro, to a friend on my facebook list, but they're haven't paid me back yet. I could easily bully that person by sharing and liking random posts from other FB pages such as memes of pictures including phrases like 'Don't you hate it when you loan money and it never get's repaid?"....or...."People who take money and weasel out of repaying are assholes!" etc etc.

I would be taking a calculated, pointed dig at the 'friend' but everyone else would see those same posts and be completely ignorant of the malicious intent behind it. They might even 'like' the content of the message unaware of the real life situation. If the target of the bullying actually said anything about my tactless digs, I could easily twist it around on them accusing them of the bullying, declaring that I didn't post it myself, I merely liked/shared it, what's the problem etc etc. It's how a psychological bully operates. Provoke, then play the victim, if called out on the provocation.

Dealing with such bullies in real life is akin to this; (an absurdist example obviously)

You are a fool!
Are you accusing me of being stupid?
Are you accusing me of making accusations!?!
What you said is untrue and totally uncalled for
More accusations! And you are calling me a liar now too? You’re being hostile and just name calling now..it’s pathetic...leave me alone.
Why would you say that to me!?
You are harassing me now. You were told to leave me alone.
No, I want an explanation. Why would you say I'm a fool?? Explain what you meant by that.
I TOLD you to stop harassing me! Look everyone, I am being victimized by that evil person! And for NO reason!!!!!!!

I think that's reaching a bit.

freshpopcorn

I asked the OP(BuilderPlumber) this question last night!

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Just a question to the OP. Why do your friends spend all their time checking Facebook likes and comments on their posts? and more importantly why do they care?

He/She has clearly been online and has ignored my question. They has responded to posts and thanked posts. I wonder who the bully is now?

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

BuilderPlumber

kunst nugget wrote: »

That's not what you were talking about in your OP though. You were going on about people ignoring your posts and how that was bullying which is what people thought was silly. Getting abusive messages is a totally different kettle of fish.

From the start, I meant DELIBERATE ignoring of texts done as PART of a campaign by a person who is a psychological bully playing mindgames. One will be very aware of the difference between innocent or indifferent ignoring of posts or pages and the actions of a person playing mindgames to hurt one. The latter type will generally play one and press all the buttons that hurt one when they have 'befriended' you to know what you care about and what hurts you.

eviltwin

BuilderPlumber wrote: »

From the start, I meant DELIBERATE ignoring of texts done as PART of a campaign by a person who is a psychological bully playing mindgames. One will be very aware of the difference between innocent or indifferent ignoring of posts or pages and the actions of a person playing mindgames to hurt one. The latter type will generally play one and press all the buttons that hurt one when they have 'befriended' you to know what you care about and what hurts you.

How do you know when your posts have been ignored as opposed to just not been seen? I use FB but I tend not to go through my feed so there are lots of things my friends are posting that I tend not to see. Anything I do like will usually be the first couple of posts.

BuilderPlumber

eviltwin wrote: »

How do you know when your posts have been ignored as opposed to just not been seen? I use FB but I tend not to go through my feed so there are lots of things my friends are posting that I tend not to see. Anything I do like will usually be the first couple of posts.

Because you will have a 'friend' who you know is very hurtful and will be doing a wide range of nasty things to you. What you are describing above is normal Facebook usage and that is totally different to people who DELIBERATELY engage in ignoring posts, etc. or even worse, writing ignorant or abusive messages on them. As said, one will KNOW when they are dealing with a psychological online bully playing mindgames.

freshpopcorn

BuilderPlumber wrote: »

Because you will have a 'friend' who you know is very hurtful and will be doing a wide range of nasty things to you. What you are describing above is normal Facebook usage and that is totally different to people who DELIBERATELY engage in ignoring posts, etc. or even worse, writing ignorant or abusive messages on them. As said, one will KNOW when they are dealing with a psychological online bully playing mindgames.

You ignored my post on this!
Your nothing but a bully.

eviltwin

BuilderPlumber wrote: »

Because you will have a 'friend' who you know is very hurtful and will be doing a wide range of nasty things to you. What you are describing above is normal Facebook usage and that is totally different to people who DELIBERATELY engage in ignoring posts, etc. or even worse, writing ignorant or abusive messages on them. As said, one will KNOW when they are dealing with a psychological online bully playing mindgames.

Why don't you just unfriend them then

kunst nugget

I've never been bullied on social media (facebook is about the only platform I use) but then my friend list is relatively small and I don't accept friend requests from people I don't like or that I'd be on the fence about. If someone tried to bully me but not liking my posts I'd never even notice. If someone sent me abusive texts, I wouldn't engage with them (I might have years ago but life's too short for me to worry about it these days). I'd block them and get on with my life.

conorhal

eviltwin wrote: »

Why don't you just unfriend them then

But then I'd have fewer 'friends'/followers/likes and no 'drama' to bitch about. Duh, bruh!

The Backwards Man

I'm lucky I only have enemies, friends sound like fierce hard work altogether.

scamalert

For example, a so-called 'friend' can deliberately ignore a person when online or can deliberately not like or share a post for the sole purpose of making the other person feel bad.

think highlighted part applies only to kids 7 to 14yrs old,if one is concerned with such issues theres more going then some facebook crap and actually shows person lacks proper social skills in the first place.

Social media is ok for those who you do know and want to keep in touch, doing anything besides that is utter waste of time that majority seems to stare all day long how someone else lives or what they do is just sad behavior.
Which seems is the norm for adults as well nowadays,just to take pics of holidays or write every minute of their day sounds miserable stuff and in many cases its reverse situation where they are so image conscious that instead of actually enjoying what they do most focus on documenting it.

J Mysterio

Me_Grapes wrote: »

Not awknowledging or replying to every inane post my friends on Facebook make does not mean I am psychologically bullying. Or maybe I'm just lucky that none of my friends are that needy and require instantaneous gratification 24/7.

These are the snowflakes that the 21st Century Western World are producing. Damn you, Social Media.

[Deleted User]

I am after reading an insane, abusive, and nasty comment on the social media feed of a politician its perplexing why would anyone threaten or abuse a politician on social media. I know all the theories of why it happens politicians seem remote ect. Now you could say the politician is teflen coated and doesn't care and at times finds it funny, however the same politician could have a wife or a mother who might not not be so tough. There is also the remote possibility that the poster is dangerous.

B.A._Baracus

Was reading an article a month ago (maybe it was posted on here too?) and the Gardai claim that they get A LOT of calls from people reporting others for saying nasty things about them on facebook, twitter etc

Let that sink in... Someone calls you whatever on Facebook and you ring the guards.

Honestly I didn't believe it when I read it. But social media does spread narcissist behavior, not to mention the whole "I'm important!" mentality. Garda probably aint lying.

Dravokivich

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Was reading an article a month ago (maybe it was posted on here too?) and the Gardai claim that they get A LOT of calls from people reporting others for saying nasty things about them on facebook, twitter etc

Let that sink in... Someone calls you whatever on Facebook and you ring the guards.

Honestly I didn't believe it when I read it. But social media does spread narcissist behavior, not to mention the whole "I'm important!" mentality. Garda probably aint lying.

I think part of that could be due it being slander, as it's content that's published and could pose an issue with regards to one's Public Image.

freshpopcorn

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Was reading an article a month ago (maybe it was posted on here too?) and the Gardai claim that they get A LOT of calls from people reporting others for saying nasty things about them on facebook, twitter etc

Let that sink in... Someone calls you whatever on Facebook and you ring the guards.

Honestly I didn't believe it when I read it. But social media does spread narcissist behavior, not to mention the whole "I'm important!" mentality. Garda probably aint lying.

I believe this without a doubt!

B.A._Baracus

Dravokivich wrote: »

I think part of that could be due it being slander, as it's content that's published and could pose an issue with regards to one's Public Image.

You would naturally think that. But the article was about the wasted use of police time type thing. Then it went into how people ring the guards up over social media posts.

So... knowing how stupid people can be I reckon a lot of reports would make you laugh :pac:

freshpopcorn

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

You would naturally think that. But the article was about the wasted use of police time type thing. Then it went into how people ring the guards up over social media posts.

So... knowing how stupid people can be I reckon a lot of reports would make you laugh :pac:

Yes, certain people will ring the Gardai over any little incident or noise in reality or online. I'm not saying don't ring the Gardai but some people need to know when to and when not to.

Irish Guitarist

Not liking a post is bullying now?

If you don't like this post I'm going to the guards.