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Celine Dion, The Manchester Bombing and Leeds Arena....

Bobby1981

Okay folks.
I have had a few drinks and am all in my feelings but bear with me. I have to spill...

Bit of background,,,,

I lived in Manchester for over 20 years, I lived in a Ghetto in every sense of the word that is now semi gentrified...I also lived in the 33rd County. Anyone who knows, knows where that is. I worked all the Irish pubs there. I have seen so many changes over the years. Another post for another time...

My Mam a big strong West of Ireland woman was and is still lost to drink there and so is my brother, the next time we will see them here is when they come home to be buried. The story of many I could tell you.

But anyway, my sister also lives in Manchester right beside the Manchester Arena. So the night recently it was bombed, my Sister and nephew and niece had just left me here in Ireland to go home. We heard the news as they arrived home. Myself and my niece stayed up all night following events, my sister opened her home to anyone affected.

I myself have suffered from social anxiety for many many years. I tried to cure it so many times. I booked tickets for Eminem and so many other concerts but lost my nerve at the crowds at the last minute every time. I turned 50 this year and thought 'I can't keep letting life pass me by Goddamit!...so I booked tickets at 160 euro for Celine Dion at the MEN Arena JUST before the foookin bombing! I had my tickets booked for England and everything!

So the concert was moved from Manchester to Leeds within the same time frame of the tickets I had booked from here to there.

Its been one of the most emotional journeys of my life lads I swear to God.
Firstly. My Mam. She needs an operation that could give her some quality of life. She talks sober as if she will do it, but she wont. The sad truth is that she has no intention and she is always drunk. I never know when I leave her if I will see her again and it kills me...literally buckles me as I say goodbye and leave her crying to come back here. I think the next time I will see her here at home is when we bring her home.........

Secondly, this concert was the first I ever actually went to in my life.

It was my first but won't be my last. I was so so nervous of the crowds and stuff but it was amazing.

It was emotional as it was the first concert that should have been played at the MEN but was at Leeds instead so there was a tribute to the Manchester victims.
For me, it was also a personal victory. I have suffered from social anxiety for so long, it changed and ruined my life in so many ways. I became a social recluse for so long. I could not do a regular job but hated doing nothing so I took up minding dogs and they totally changed my life. I pour all my love in to them and they give it me back. I mind them all from the pampered to my abandoned and ill treated ones. It is through them that I made my money to be able to see Celine . The more troubled my dog, the more I feel them. I love them so much. There is nothing I won't do for them because they gave me back my life.

So I went to my very first concert in Leeds to see Celine. She was amazing. Just amazing. One of the last great Divas. That woman has lungs. She can sing for the Gawds!......She finished her set with Titanic...My Heart will Go on...but then for her encore she ran up through the crowd and sang Freddie Mercury's Love of My Life with nothing but a guitar player accompanying her. I sang every song through tears.

There were a lot of Irish there...we met a woman who had lost her husband after 40 years. myself and my Sister and Niece got very upset seeing her so happy that night (if you understand).

My sister was also sat beside another Irish girl at that concert who was on her own. She had intended to come with her brother but her brothers child had died just beforehand so she came on her own..so sad. She told my sister that she still hoped to bring her brother to Celine in August and my sis still had two tickets and told her to ring her and she could have them...I hope she does ring.

After the concert, in the car park, some girl opened her car doors and blasted all Celine's tunes and an impromptu dance party started with hundreds of us just singing and dancing to all her tunes and all these other people getting out of their cars and videoing it.

I am home a week now but I had a few jars tonight and watched the concert online and got emotional all over again....for Manchester, for My Mam lost there, for the people we met that night....for myself finally going in to a crowd and experiencing something I will remember for the rest of my life. I cannot even put it into words although I am trying.........

And Celine...the last of the Great Divas. Poor Whitney is gone, Mariah can no longer sing for chit.............Celine was amazing and her set was amazing. If you know she lost her husband last year and her brother two days later...she sang a song called Recovering that Pink wrote for her...just so moving. One of the best nights of my life.......

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Stigura

Dogs. Yep

Bobby1981

They give me life Stigura. They really do. I love them so much. I can not imagine life without them. Amazing animals. There is nothing I would not do for them, they have helped me so much.

Stigura

Could have wrote that myself, Bobby

[Deleted User]

I have a family member with social anxiety OP, and whilst her illness usually involves small gatherings as opposed to large crowds, I think I can empathise with how big a deal this was for you.

My family-member is part of a social anxiety group and she seems to find it very helpful to speak with like-minded people. They have an event this weekend and if you're near Dublin, give me a PM and I'll forward you on my sister's details, with her permission.

Keep getting out there, it's never too late to overcome this disorder... it's a medical issue, it can be treated, and having lived with someone with this disorder, I assure you it does get better with the right supports.

Chin up

Bobby1981

Stigura wrote: »

Could have wrote that myself, Bobby

I don't know your story Stigura but you obviously know what I mean. I feel I owe them an awful debt. I can't fix so many parts of my life and I can't fix the ones I love around me. I can though, fix my mistreated dogs because they let me...they give me everything and I give them everything back. I just had an owner drive two hours to give their dog to me....they could have gone much closer to home but they came to me and I loved it. I love their dog...he was a great big galoot, clumsy and gormless but I absolutely love him. He lay beside me at night and took up too much of my sofa, a great dog. Such a soft fella. I owe them a great debt. I cannot even tell you.

Bobby1981

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

I have a family member with social anxiety OP, and whilst her illness usually involves small gatherings as opposed to large crowds, I think I can empathise with how big a deal this was for you.

My family-member is part of a social anxiety group and she seems to find it very helpful to speak with like-minded people. They have an event this weekend and if you're near Dublin, give me a PM and I'll forward you on my sister's details, with her permission.

Keep getting out there, it's never too late to overcome this disorder... it's a medical issue, it can be treated, and having lived with someone with this disorder, I assure you it does get better with the right supports.

Chin up

Thank you so much for your post. I am not sure how to explain in reply though. I have been to so many professionals over the years, I joined many social groups online over the years but always backed out. My problem is that I can sound awful normal when talking to folk apart from the fact I can talk too much (overcompensating) ...but inside I am dying. Its been over twenty years or more since I went anywhere alone. I think some people are great doing the group thing and others not so much. I am of the 'others so much variety'. I have been shamed so many times by people belonging to me that its really got to me, even when its got nothing to do with you and you love them but are nothing like them and dont live like them ..and when was younger I would die, now I am still shamed but get protective.....people judge...they just do. Plus I am just better with people who accept that I am eccentric which I am but I am a good person.

I thank you so much for your post, for seeing beyond the jest of the post to the deeper issue. I seriously reached a milestone going to that concert though Tyrant, and if I never do anything again I would remember it for the rest of my life. My dream is Graceland though..so next stop Graceland with the help of God.

I sincerely Thank you .

[Deleted User]

Bobby1981 wrote: »

Thank you so much for your post. I am not sure how to explain in reply though. I have been to so many professionals over the years, I joined many social groups online over the years but always backed out. My problem is that I can sound awful normal when talking to folk apart from the fact I can talk too much (overcompensating) ...but inside I am dying. Its been over twenty years or more since I went anywhere alone. I think some people are great doing the group thing and others not so much. I am of the 'others so much variety'. I have been shamed so many times by people belonging to me that its really got to me, even when its got nothing to do with you and you are love them but are nothing like them and dont live like them ..and when was younger I would die, now I am still shamed but get protective.....people judge...they just do. Plus I am just better with people who accept that I am eccentric which I am but I am a good person.

I thank you so much for your post, for seeing beyond the jest of the post to the deeper issue. I seriously reached a milestone going to that concert though Tyrant, and if I never do anything again I would remember it for the rest of my life. My dream is Graceland though..so next stop Graceland with the help of God.

I sincerely Thank you .

Out of curiosity Bobby, have you ever tried psychiatric/ GP-prescribed drugs? I recognise so much of what you say in my family member. Before she found the right medication, she would rely on alcohol to diminish her anxiety levels. It was really problematic for her, and for our family.

My family member migrated between a few different drugs before she found one that seems to have massively reduced her anxiety. I notice a huge change in her at social gatherings.

As far as I have heard, these drugs are only prescribed alongside cognitive therapy, have you tried that?

ceadaoin.

I enjoyed reading your post OP. Fair play to you for going ahead to the concert. It seems like you're a very close family despite the miles between you.

AllForIt

@Bobby1981, Celine Dion is a total legend. Could you provide a link to the concert that you said you watched online this evening? Thanks.

Bobby1981

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Out of curiosity Bobby, have you ever tried psychiatric/ GP-prescribed drugs? I recognise so much of what you say in my family member. Before she found the right medication, she would rely on alcohol to diminish her anxiety levels. It was really problematic for her, and for our family.

My family member migrated between a few different drugs before she found one that seems to have massively reduced her anxiety. I notice a huge change in her at social gatherings.

As far as I have heard, these drugs are only prescribed alongside cognitive therapy, have you tried that?

I was on tablets for many years Tyrant, many different ones . I talked to everyone and anyone professionally. I finally realised that the tablets were just not for me and I went cold turkey................. I also realised that people who come from the streets and people who go through college'university are just different people.....You can be streetwise and bookwise (if you come from the streets)..like my niece who will be the first to ever graduate in our family next year but you can never truly be streetwise if you have never lived that life no matter how many books you read or seminars you take etc. ..Thats why AA never helped my Mam nor could the professionals ever help me or my brother...If you were never about that life....how can you tell me about that life..know what I mean?....Lucky for me...I dont need them to help me, I know exactly what my problem is...I also know how to cure it....its just my own self that holds me back but I am trying.........

I will go to Graceland before I die as God is my judge...its important to me, whatever about anything else....

And I will holla to the Heavens here when I do Tyrant;)

Bobby1981

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Out of curiosity Bobby, have you ever tried psychiatric/ GP-prescribed drugs? I recognise so much of what you say in my family member. Before she found the right medication, she would rely on alcohol to diminish her anxiety levels. It was really problematic for her, and for our family.

My family member migrated between a few different drugs before she found one that seems to have massively reduced her anxiety. I notice a huge change in her at social gatherings.

As far as I have heard, these drugs are only prescribed alongside cognitive therapy, have you tried that?

I also want to say I appreciate you very much Tyrant. I can feel the concern in every word you write and that it is genuine. I am very grateful for your kindness. Your help would have made such a difference to me years ago. You have been persistent with me and I really like you for it. It is so very genuine of you. I am grateful.

[Deleted User]

That was a really poignant read, thanks for sharing your story OP.

Music and dogs willsave your life

Bobby1981

ceadaoin. wrote: »

I enjoyed reading your post OP. Fair play to you for going ahead to the concert. It seems like you're a very close family despite the miles between you.

Well we are and we are not...I left Manchester without seeing my brother and one of my sisters. I am sad about that but then your early life is f*cked up and in pure turmoil and you are pitted again each other...you try to recover and sometimes you do.and often you don't ...then old resentments arise, then one of you is in trouble and you all gather.............then fall back again..........its sad, very sad but it is what it is. I personally think this Island of ours because of Tyrants has a lot to answer for in the likes of my parents...and even my poor Oul Grandfather.....if I write his story here I will cry so no...but anyway,,,,my post was about Celine....If you ever ever get the chance to see her....take it... She is an absolute Queen:)

Bobby1981

AllForIt wrote: »

@Bobby1981, Celine Dion is a total legend. Could you provide a link to the concert that you said you watched online this evening? Thanks.

I was at the Leeds concert AllForIt and there was a great link for it but I could not find it tonight (although I had found it before) so I opted for Celine live at Wembley 2017, she sang the same songs, wore the same costumes and said the same things. That whole concert is on Youtube. Make sure you find the one with the best sound quality. She was worth every penny I swear to God. She had all of us in tears and she cried herself and spoke to her husband Rene who she just lost last year. If you ever ever get the chance go see her........she is some singer! I am still riding on a wave of emotions from that night with her......she done wonders for me...

Bobby1981

Deleted User wrote: »

That was a really poignant read, thanks for sharing your story OP.

Music and dogs willsave your life

Stu Redman...I love your reply to me so much because music and dogs HAVE saved my life. I don't even own a tv, I read like a Demon instead:)...I also blast tunes all the time...that is my thing :-) I give everything in my heart to my dogs because they give all to me. Plus I am humbled by some of my owners...some wont go anywhere unless its me that have their dogs...how much more validation than that can you have. Some owners take the piss out of my nature but others more than make up for it, they are good people and I truly love my dogs. I have my regulars , one has died and I still get upset over her and keep her with me on my phone and talk to her owners. They are the best of all beings, giving everything and asking little and I love them to bits. It is them that will take me to Graceland, my lifelong dream if I get there.....I give them anything they want. I love them all. I really hope I will go to Graceland Stu.