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Why are heavy people not taken seriously?

Brother Luke

I gained nearly three stone in a year and people look at me like im scum. Why?

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Horusire

I think i subconsciously look down on overweight people because I view them as having no personal discipline and therefore no self worth.

Iam talking grossly overweight now not just a typical Irish man or woman.

However I am probably a product of my environment having grown up in the selfie era with facebook etc.

Also a gym rat with no social media accounts so I guess I am an oddity

biko

Why do people think that everything that affects them, affects everyone like them?

keith_sixteen

I was in a theme park with the kids recently.

Those places really are a haven for fat people.

B0jangles

biko wrote: »

Why do people think that everything that affects them, affects everyone like them?

1.) Conversely, why do (some) people think that they are better informed about something than the people actually affected by the thing in question?

2.) Check the thread - there are already a few posts confirming that at least some people do think poorly of fat people, and purely because they are fat.

Minderbinder

Judging people by their weight or looks really says a lot more about the people doing the judging. It says you have no other way to compare yourself to that person in which you come out on top.

Being overweight doesn't necessarily mean someone lacks discipline in other areas of their life. Indeed, gaining weight often goes hand in hand with building a successful career.

Being overweight is and always has been a sign of success. How often do we ever see the skinny people as world leaders, or having real power?

In my experience the educated and successful people don't judge people on their weight. It's low level thinking.

ToddyDoody

gizmo81 wrote: »

People are horrible.

I have such amazing simple advice for people and I can't understand why it's so hard to grasp.

"Leave me alone"

The ratio of me minding my own business to other's not minding their own business is mind boggling quite frankly, and one for the psychology books.

trsvod

This generation is so strange. All done up to the last and constantly looking down on everyone. Not just fat people. If you're not up to their standard in any way they will look down on you. Mostly women but men too.

I saw on twitter the difference between a 14 yr old girl in the 90s and one now and it just makes the point of how much pressure you're under now to be 'perfect'

I used to care what people thought about me massively and it ruined me. But when you realise it doesn't matter what people think especially those you'll never see again, and don't give a **** about them, you'll feel awesome.

Be whoever you want to be. Don't be someone other people want you to be

Are Am Eye

A lack of gravity gravitas

Naos

Richard Hillman wrote: »

Because they lack discipline.

Deleted User wrote: »

That is the perception. It's such a ridiculous myth, don't you agree?

How is it a myth?

Horusire

Minderbinder wrote: »

Judging people by their weight or looks really says a lot more about the people doing the judging. It says you have no other way to compare yourself to that person in which you come out on top.

Being overweight doesn't necessarily mean someone lacks discipline in other areas of their life. Indeed, gaining weight often goes hand in hand with building a successful career.

Being overweight is and always has been a sign of success. How often do we ever see the skinny people as world leaders, or having real power?

In my experience the educated and successful people don't judge people on their weight. It's low level thinking.

I think the opposite. Can you give an example of someone with real power who's grossly overweight?

Trump? Not obese
Merkel? Fat not obese
Buffet? Old so doesn't really count
Gates? Average
Zuckerberg? Average
Juncker? Thin

Wanderer78

Horusire wrote: »

I think the opposite. Can you give an example of someone with real power who's grossly overweight?

Trump? Not obese
Merkel? Fat not obese
Buffet? Old so doesn't really count
Gates? Average
Zuckerberg? Average
Juncker? Thin

subjective but id class both trump and merkel as obese

Pac1Man

Wanderer78 wrote: »

subjective but id class both trump and merkel as obese

They both wear big old worn tyres.

seenitall

??

Assad, Putin, Obama, Blair, Thatcher, Cameron, a lot of very powerful politicians are actually as thin as toothpicks, if not just simply slim... Not to mention Gandhi...

InTheTrees

B0jangles wrote: »

1.) Conversely, why do (some) people think that they are better informed about something than the people actually affected by the thing in question?

I think thats an important point.

Its like ex-smokers. Those that have lost the weight and appear to be slim now may have been through hell to get that way, and may be struggling to stay that way.

So they have an opinion.

Pac1Man

seenitall wrote: »

Not to mention Gandhi...

They say Gandhi was so thin that when he was shot, he fell to the ground like an autumn leaf.

gizmo81

Food addiction is one of the most complex issues.

You cannot go cold turkey, you need to eat to live, that makes it the hardest of all addictions to control. You never have to taste a cigarette or alcohol again but you need to eat.

Like all addictions it is tied up with our emotions.

People that have a bottle of wine a night aren't judged because it's not immediately visible, but the person who eats a multipack of crisps is judged because it's visible.

No one wants to sit down and eat a multipack of chocolate.

And judging people just reinforces the cycle of shame that binging breeds on. You are part of the problem not the solution.

Beta Ray Bill

gizmo81 wrote: »

Food addiction is one of the most complex issues.

You cannot go cold turkey, you need to eat to live, that makes it the hardest of all addictions to control. You never have to taste a cigarette or alcohol again but you need to eat.

Like all addictions it is tied up with our emotions.

People that have a bottle of wine a night aren't judged because it's not immediately visible, but the person who eats a multipack of crisps is judged because it's visible.

No one wants to sit down and eat a multipack of chocolate.

And judging people just reinforces the cycle of shame that binging breeds on. You are part of the problem not the solution.

+1

I'm totally addicted to food.
I'm not too overweight as I hit the Gym 3 days a week, but if I didn't I'd be massive!

I can't help myself, if there is food there, I'm gonna eat it.

seenitall

Pac1Man wrote: »

They say Gandhi was so thin that when he was shot, he fell to the ground like an autumn leaf.

*somewhat guilt-ridden lolz*

Taylor365

It like an intelligent person who smokes.

I recommend the C-Food diet.

See food and eat it :pac:

...I'll get me coat...

Sciprio

People become obese because they don't really look after themselves probably, eat lots of junk and instead of going out for a walk or something they might drive everywhere.

When i buy food i always go for the high calorie foods and i'm still small but i do lots of walking nearly everywhere. I don't get taxis or buses and just walk.

seenitall

A part of the answer is not to buy a multipack of Chocolate/biccies/crisps in the first place.

Sitting on your sofa, watching TV, you cannot eat what you don't have. Buy apples and dried chickpeas instead.

the_pen_turner

It comes down to how you deal with stress. I rather comfort and am overweight. Others smoke or drink when they get stressed. Some even go to the gym or go running. All these are equally as addictive . They are just different levels of bad for you. We all have a crutch we rest on in times of stress.

The problem happens when your stressed out because of your crutch . If I feel bad about being overweight I don't go running , I eat. It's a vicious circle

Witchie

As a fat woman it astounds me how it is anyone else's business. The amount of times I have been told "you would be so beautiful if you lost weight" is unreal.

In Sri Lanka, India and Nepal I was seen as a goddess and haven't had to fight off male attention like this since I was a stunner of a teenager. In Malaysia an almost equally as fat guy was assisting me with my baggage at a bus station and then just asks "why you so fat". I was shocked but have been called names for years now so it didn't really bother me. In Bali walking back to my hotel last night and a taxi driver drove by and as they do here, shouted out the window "taxi". He followed this up with "I love fat girls". Totally creeped me out if am honest.

My weight issues stem from a few angles. As a child/teen if I put on ounce of weight my super skinny mum would go crazy at me. Make me feel like ****. I used to be an amateur model and was so confident but her badgering destroyed that. One fashion show that she was organising was happening when I was 18 and I thought I would be asked to model as usual. I called home from college in Dublin to see did I need to come home for fittings and was told "you are too fat. Your cousin who is over for 3 weeks from America is doing it instead". I was still a size 8-10 then.

My dad is an athlete and I was forced to run as a kid. I was never good enough to uphold his famous name so hated it. Another girl with the same surname as me was a great runner. He used to tell people she was his daughter. The only exercise I loved was gymnastics and dance. My mum took the joy out of that by telling me I looked so fat on stage compared to the others. So I quit.

I married young and had my first son. Was back in a size 12 jeans by his Christening 6 weeks after he was born. Then my marriage went to **** and I put on weight. I was a size 16-18 when I had my 2nd son. My husband was abusive verbally, mentally and physically. In a supermarket I lifted a packet of his favourite buns, ones I didn't like and said should we get these, meaning for his lunch. In front of busy people he looked me up and down and said "do you not think you are fat enough without buying buns?"

I dumped him. Found a great boyfriend and started to lose weight. Then my fella dumped me and my youngest son was so upset that this guy he adored was no longer part of our lives that I decided I wouldn't have any more boyfriends. I couldn't risk the hurt for me or my sons. Then I really put on the weight. Self esteem issues and a desire to not be attractive to men so they couldn't hurt me drove me to abandon restraint.

Now it's hard to lose it but as am travelling in Asia I am walking on average 5km a day and thanks to my allergies am struggling to find food I can eat that isn't salad so I have lost about 2 stone but it is not easy. Being here though, despite the odd rogue comment I find I am more accepted and am dreading returning home where a woman on George's street felt it was her duty to point at me and scream "look at this monster. Fat bitch".

TL/DR

Sometimes there are psychological reasons for someone's weight. You don't have the right to comment. If you judge - go f**k yourself.

conorhal

Deleted User wrote: »

Um, you said they were thought of as poorly disciplined, and I agree that that is the myth perpetuated by society. Not sure about the relevance of whether that makes them less well liked, or less well regarded, the difference seems rather fine, the issue should be why that is so and why do we tolerate it?

Oh it's a 'societal myth'? Yeah, sure. You don't gain weight be being disciplined about what you eat.

I could stand to loose a few pounds around the tummy and the reason I could stand to loose a few pounds and haven't is down to pure laziness to be honest.
We tolerate being a bit sniffy regards ill-disciplined people because whether you like it or not, being disciplined is a virtue required to achieve most things in life and being the opposite is laziness, which is not an admirable trait, not that hard to understand really!

im6foot4

grahambo wrote: »

Really?

How so?
I though it would be more along the lines of letting them know what I think of them?

Wait a sec, are you a shamer that wants me to stop farting!? :P

If you're going through any amount of effort to let them know what you think of them, then you care.

MysticMonk

Deleted User wrote:

Ah seriously. To deny that society judges people by weight and appearance and it's not merely "projecting" is to ignore the obvious. Open social media, look at gym culture, it's not propelled by a desire to run faster or jump higher, but by a fixation with looking better.

Sorry,but there's nothing wrong with that.

You dont live forever so you might as well be happy about yourself.

Solomon Pleasant

People take other people at face people. I find it surprising in 2017 that it's necessary to explain this. How you present yourself in terms of appearance and attitude is how you are perceived.

As a result of this particular aspect of human nature, fat people are perceived as lazy, less competent and generally much less approachable than their more physically appealing counterparts. This is generally why overweight people aren't taken as seriously - They represent something which people desperately wish to avoid becoming and what every magazine, celebrity and piece of health related media so often criticize. It probably isn't fair, or even entirely sensible, that we place such a heavy emphasis on a person's appearance but it's always been like that and always will be.

People don't have to be physically perfect in every respect but we really should strive to improve ourselves and become the best version of ourselves within our own unique circumstances.

B0jangles

Gavlor wrote: »

Fwiw, as a marathon runner I'm not carrying any weight.... the amount of fat f&ckers telling me a need a good feed wrecks my head.

Sit down there before you tackle that stairs lard arse

I think this post illustrates something of what the OP is talking about: Everyone knows that getting fat is pretty easy; eat too much and not exercise and most people will gain weight, therefore it is something to be ashamed of, whereas running a marathon is very tough and requires a lot of training and preparation, therefore it is something to be proud of.

But apparently being moderately overweight is actually healthier than being underweight, and running marathons is pretty bad for your kidneys -a marathon can cause temporary damage comparable to undergoing abdominal surgery:

https://www.sciencealert.com/the-healthiest-weight-might-actually-be-overweight-massive-study-finds

http://www.webmd.com/diet/news/20140328/underweight-even-deadlier-than-overweight-study-says

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/03/marathon-kidneys/520962/

http://www.shape.com/fitness/cardio/are-marathons-bad-your-kidneys

Basically we tend to assume that because something is difficult and strenuous that it is automatically good for us, but that is not necessarily true.

Anorexic people and compulsive eaters are opposite sides of the same terrible coin, but at least anorexics will probably be greeted with general sympathy and support; compulsive eaters get general disgust and bad jokes.

Nagnata

Witchie wrote: »

As a fat woman it astounds me how it is anyone else's business.

Look at how much obese people cost the state with diseases due to their size. I'm not say if they were slim they wouldn't have any but it would reduce the risk. So it really is everyone's business when the country is full of fat obese people. There are only a very few amount of people who have genuine reasons for been over weight. The rest either are to lazy to follow a healthy diet and to a lesser extent excercise. If someone has psychological reasons for a poor diet they really should address it and not use it as a excuse to be over weight

gizmo81

Have you private health insurance? I do.

Why should my taxes pay for your health?

Do you have children? I don't.

Why should my taxes pay for yours?

It's a slippery slope removing services for those that don't conform to your standards/worldview.

Nagnata wrote: »

Look at how much obese people cost the state with diseases due to their size. I'm not say if they were slim they wouldn't have any but it would reduce the risk. So it really is everyone's business when the country is full of fat obese people. There are only a very few amount of people who have genuine reasons for been over weight. The rest either are to lazy to follow a healthy diet and to a lesser extent excercise.