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Off-Topic

lou91

Never posted on this forum before, but it seems a bit strange that there's no off-topic/general conversation thread, especially if meet ups take place. It could be a good addition, considering how a lot of the topics here are a bit heavy...

Thoughts?

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Jentle Grenade

Get well soon RiseToMe. I'm at home in peace after a hectic Christmas day with the family. The OH has just been called in to work so I'm in my element with free reign of the TV

RiseToMe

Thanks for the well wishes guys.

I was let out late yesterday so got to salvage some of the Christmas thankfully

L.Jenkins

How was everyone's Christmas? I had a nice quiet one.

Ten of Swords

RiseToMe wrote: »

Thanks for the well wishes guys.

I was let out late yesterday so got to salvage some of the Christmas thankfully

Glad to hear it RiseToMe, I hope you were able to make the most of your time and that you're feeling better

Deleted User wrote: »

Sounds wonderful though, happy for you (though also bitter and resentful! )

Thanks (I think!)

L.Jenkins wrote: »

How was everyone's Christmas? I had a nice quiet one.

Mine was quiet too, as I said it was just the two of us, but it was very special for me. It's hard to articulate exactly why but I think the best way to describe is that it's the first time I was totally at ease and worried about absolutely nothing, every other Christmas that comes to mind has been stressful (usually due to family) or involved difficult logistics (my family are geographically quite spread out so travel is often involved) and to be blunt most have been forgettable.

I'm visiting some of my clan tomorrow and possibly the day after.

Hope everyone else had an enjoyable Christmas.

opus

Ash885 wrote: »

I've got the complete seasons of Walking Dead and Good Wife to get me through the time off. Bring it oooon

Way too cheerful, I had Modus & Hinterland to get through

Have to say Hinterland is an impressively depressing crime series!

L.Jenkins

I seem to have lost all interest in TV. The wife has her own shows she loves to watch, so I do sit and watch them, but there's nothing that gets me excited about watching TV any more.

Ten of Swords

I binge watch most of my TV online. Watching one episode per week just doesn't do it for me and I'm starting to wonder if burning through half a dozen episodes of a show per sitting is affecting my already short attention span

Fleawuss

L.Jenkins wrote: »

I seem to have lost all interest in TV. The wife has her own shows she loves to watch, so I do sit and watch them, but there's nothing that gets me excited about watching TV any more.

West world?

Rainman16

Hey everyone. I was just wondering how the LGBT community feels about Amanda Nunes, The first openly gay UFC champion?

How do feel about professional athletes being open about their homosexuality? Is it positive, irreverent or negative to you as a LGBT?

Ten of Swords

Rainman16 wrote: »

Hey everyone. I was just wondering how the LGBT community feels about Amanda Nunes, The first openly gay UFC champion?

How do feel about professional athletes being open about their homosexuality? Is it positive, irreverent or negative to you as a LGBT?

There is no unified groupthink in the LGBT community so some will be 'yay', some 'boo' and the rest 'meh'.

Her achievement the other day did not happen because of, or despite, her sexuality, it was because she put in the hard work.

L.Jenkins

Rainman16 wrote: »

Hey everyone. I was just wondering how the LGBT community feels about Amanda Nunes, The first openly gay UFC champion?

How do feel about professional athletes being open about their homosexuality? Is it positive, irreverent or negative to you as a LGBT?

I can say this is the first time I've heard of Amanda, but should being a member of the LGBT Community really define her success? Not to be a naysayer, but my personal identity doesn't define my success or lack of in certain aspects of my life. Fair dues to her for her effort and hard work either way.

L.Jenkins

I didn't sleep last night, so excuse the second post. How did everyones Christmas and New Year go? I can say I had a nice quiet one for the first time in a very long time.

baby and crumble

L.Jenkins wrote: »

I can say this is the first time I've heard of Amanda, but should being a member of the LGBT Community really define her success? Not to be a naysayer, but my personal identity doesn't define my success or lack of in certain aspects of my life. Fair dues to her for her effort and hard work either way.

I get that but for younger folks who might be in a less accepting environment, it's nice to have out role models to look up to. I know I enjoyed seeing Amelie Mauresmo come out (for example) when I was in my late teens and I knew I was a lesbian, but hadn't told anyone. It was great to see a successful lesbian who seemed cool and who was being respected "regardless" of her sexuality.

L.Jenkins

Fleawuss wrote: »

West world?

Yeah I watched it actually and it was interesting, but for me, the storyline seemed to elude me for awhile until the finale and then it all seemed to make sense.

baby and crumble wrote: »

I get that but for younger folks who might be in a less accepting environment, it's nice to have out role models to look up to. I know I enjoyed seeing Amelie Mauresmo come out (for example) when I was in my late teens and I knew I was a lesbian, but hadn't told anyone. It was great to see a successful lesbian who seemed cool and who was being respected "regardless" of her sexuality.

You do make a strong case Baby, as I never thought about it that way. My mind and critical thinking seems to have gone astray as of late.

baby and crumble

L.Jenkins wrote: »

You do make a strong case Baby, as I never thought about it that way. My mind and critical thinking seems to have gone astray as of late.

It's one of those things where when you've been out and living a fairly regular boring life for a while it's easy to forget what it's like to be a terrified teenager in some crappy little village thinking your folks will throw you out of the house because of who you fancy. If I could go back in time and tell my 17 year old self that in another 17 years I'll be getting married having bought a house and that all my family prefer my wife-to-be to me (!) I doubt I'd believe myself!!!

L.Jenkins

Congrats Baby

Sorry if I was dismissive of the experience of others.

Ten of Swords

baby and crumble wrote: »

If I could go back in time and tell my 17 year old self that in another 17 years I'll be getting married having bought a house and that all my family prefer my wife-to-be to me (!) I doubt I'd believe myself!!!

What a lovely sentiment

I don't know what I'd say to 17 year old me. Sometimes I wonder how the hell he turned into today me! It's amazing the perspective you get from hindsight sometimes but at the time I couldn't see how things would get better and I felt alone, the 'alone in a crowded room' feeling a lot of the time.

College was a big turning point for me.

Jentle Grenade

I'm relieved that someone else has admitted to not having a clue what was going on in West World

baby and crumble

In all honesty college wasn't really it for me, it was hitting my late 20's. Whilst I was confident enough about my sexuality, it wasn't until I figured out my personal style and how that reflected my gender identify and sexuality that made a big difference to how I saw myself. That little baby Butch was in there at 17, but she thought you had to be super aggressive and "hard" to be a "proper" Butch lesbian.

Not so!

RiseToMe

I first came out as gay in my teens which was tough growing up in a small town but coming out as trans to my wife was harrowing.

I had always thought if I manged to just be "butch enough" I would satisfy the "not right" internal monologue that was constantly playing. Unsurprisingly, "butch enough" never happened and I grappled with depression and was on medication for 10 years.

I realised I had no option but to face it when we were starting to take steps toward starting a family and the idea of being called "mam" or other variant was entirely sickening to me. However the idea of being called Dad made my life complete. I went off the rails, made terrible life choices and then hit my rock bottom.

It was in the time I realised how facing your "real self" was truly terrifying. I'll admit I spent the time in the lead up to it genuinely grappling with if suicide would be easier for everybody to deal with.

My wife was incredible. Obviously it meant a rocky while at the start, but it pulled us closer than ever. Times like this I think back to the person I was before and my heart breaks for the complete emptiness and lack of emotion I felt.

I got myself alcohol and drugs free, I started my transition and it was like my life fell into place. Like "oh this is what living feels like".

I'm now fully bearded, new birth cert, over my surgeries, remarried as we wanted more accurate photographs and most incredibly, we've just found out that after two years of trying, shes pregnant and I'm going to be a dad.

So if I could look back and tell my 17 year old self something: "Feel the fear and do it anyway"

Ten of Swords

baby and crumble wrote: »

Whilst I was confident enough about my sexuality, it wasn't until I figured out my personal style and how that reflected my gender identify and sexuality that made a big difference to how I saw myself.

Yes!!!!! I can completely relate to that. For me, I was out at 16 and while telling my friends was a huge weight off my shoulders I found that it was only half the battle, I had no gay friends at all and I found that very hard to cope with.

At that time the only gay people I knew were people I was chatted to on social media, and occasionally met in person for sexual encounters, and I found myself getting very depressed and questioning if doing this was the best I could ever hope for because it was making me miserable.

I had a decent support network of straight friends but I thought they could never really properly relate to my problems so any support they could give was either token or out of obligation - that was a complete misjudgement of my friends btw - but it took the eventual intervention of a family member to help me break the cycle.

Poor self image, no self esteem and questionable mental health - being 17 was hard!

Rainman16

L.Jenkins wrote: »

I can say this is the first time I've heard of Amanda, but should being a member of the LGBT Community really define her success? Not to be a naysayer, but my personal identity doesn't define my success or lack of in certain aspects of my life. Fair dues to her for her effort and hard work either way.

L Jenkins. Would you agree that it would be more difficult for a male fighter to be openly gay, than a female fighter? I get the sense that the prodominently straight male fan base of combat sports would be far more accepting of gay women.?

imme

The rte radio show, The History Show, last Sunday had a piece on LGBT liberation

It's on for about 30 minutes

You can find it on rte.ie

Annasopra

imme wrote: »

The rte radio show, The History Show, last Sunday had a piece on LGBT liberation

It's on for about 30 minutes

You can find it on rte.ie

Must have a look

swine

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

Must have a look

Stream

Podcast

Quite interesting, thanks for the heads-up imme.

imme

swine wrote: »

Stream

Podcast

Quite interesting, thanks for the heads-up imme.

No problem

I thought it was a good broad exploration

Ten of Swords

Lovely ad from New Zealand that is trending right now.

It might resonate with a few people here, I know I've been in this situation before.

imme

Article in the irish times this weekend about gay saunas in Dublin

http://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/people/last-days-of-the-irish-gay-sauna-1.2975569

Annasopra

Milo is such a horrible person that I cant help be delighted at his downfall

Annasopra

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

Milo is such a horrible person that I cant help be delighted at his downfall

Katie Hopkins.... same

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2017/03/10/breaking-jack-monroe-wins-huge-payout-in-libel-case-against-katie-hopkins/?utm_source=PNFB&utm_medium=SocialFB&utm_content=FBBB&utm_campaign=PNFacebook