Teenage Disco bans inappropriate outfits

Arcade_Tryer wrote: »

Different dress codes exist for different reasons. And your questions are based on false logic.

It's not a bad thing to want to be concerned about the welfare of teenage girls, but at what cost? When does protecting women become just another excuse for controlling their choices? This thread suggests it happens at the first sign of a bit of flesh unfortunately.

Midteens are still children. Children are controlled by their parents, that is ther job. They are not allowed to vote, go to army, drive and they are also not sent into prison for adults. It's for a reason. Grown women are not children and I would very worried about any grown up who is not capable to understand the distinction.

As for dresses, they are not my taste. I like plunging necklines, I don't mind short skirts for those who have legs to pull them off but both together are quite obviously Boohoo and not Tom Ford.

One eyed Jack

What really strikes me as the dumbest part of all this storm in a B-cup is the idea of 14/15 year olds attending what the venue calls "a ball"...

Seriously? Reminds me of this from 1976:

retro:electro

222233 wrote: »

I think it's classy enough for a ball, I'd absolutely wear something similar - the "debs" style dress is long since dead. Thats what's in trend, there are some very elegant plunging midi dresses out there. I think pointing out what you "can't" wear sexualises women's clothing choices more.

Are you 14 though? I think people are missing the crux of the issue. What may be grand and look age appropriate on a 28 year old can be inappropriate for a 14 year old

meeeeh wrote: »

Midteens are still children. Children are controlled by their parents, that is ther job. They are not allowed to vote, go to army, drive and they are also not sent into prison for adults. It's for a reason. Grown women are not children and I would very worried about any grown up who is not capable to understand the distinction.

As for dresses, they are not my taste. I like plunging necklines, I don't mind short skirts for those who have legs to pull them off but both together are quite obviously Boohoo and not Tom Ford.

Which is exactly my point. It's the parents' job. And if the parents don't have a problem with the way their teenagers are dressing, the rest of us shouldn't take things into our own hands and start dictating what they can wear.

anna080 wrote: »

Are you 14 though? I think people are missing the crux of the issue. What may be grand and look age appropriate on a 28 year old can be inappropriate for a 14 year old

Your right I'm not 14 years old but I must dress like one... I wore much "skimpier" clothing when I was 14 and I have no regrets. It didn't do me any harm, I have self respect, always did, that's who I was and probably still am, either way live and let live. Some girls want to flaunt it some don't, how can a plunging neckline not be "ball attire".

Widdershins

I always went disguised in respectable clothes over my disco clothes. I just had one rule apart from the obvious, top can be low cut OR skirt can be short, but never both at the same time.
Feckit, you're only a teenager for a little while.

anna080 wrote: »

What?! So any venue that insists on a standard of dress is acting in line with Catholicism?

Firstly, it's a teenage disco. Secondly, they stated the reason for the dress code is because of the revealing clothing being worn by teenage girls. So yeah, it's in line with moralistic and puritanical behaviour for me. It's a parent's job to tell their teenager what they can and can't wear. Nobody else's.

JupiterKid

I don't have any kids myself but if I did, I wouldn't be comfortable with my 15 year old daughter going out to a party/disco half naked. Teenagers are very self-conscious of their bodies, especially when they're developing and changing - well, at least I was.

Don't get me wrong - there's nothing wrong with nudity - I myself swim naked on the Continent when I get the chance and go to nude beaches - but in the context of a sexually charged teenage night out where alcohol may also be consumed illicilitly, I don't think it's very appropriate for vulnerable young girls subject to huge peer pressure and a crazy beauty industry to wear revealing outfits.

My 2 cents...

Arcade_Tryer wrote: »

Which is exactly my point. It's the parents' job. And if the parents don't have a problem with the way their teenagers are dressing, the rest of us shouldn't take things into our own hands and start dictating what they can wear.

Actually the venue has perfect right to dictate what to wear and they have the right not to attend.

gramar wrote: »

Don't mind him. Been beating the same drum all thread.

I march to the beat of my own drum, unlike a lot of the judgemental fashion critics in this thread. There's an irony there somewhere.

Arcade_Tryer wrote: »

But the parents obviously don't have a problem with it. Or any cop according to you. The venue are acting of their own accord in line with beliefs about decency and decorum. It couldn't be much closer to Catholicism really.

Or Islam. Or Judaism. But let's not go there because it's just not PC.
Come to think of it, do you think that the venue and organisers are to be criticised IF they are motivated by religious beliefs about decency and decorum?
Are decency and decorum unpleasant distasteful values to you?
They seem to be.
Girls and boys of 13 and 14 don't need to express their sexuality. For many very good reasons sexual behaviour in 14 year old girls and boys is against the law.
Sexual behaviour in young teenagers can result in pregnancies and STDs which teenagers don't have the emotional maturity to deal with.
Their not dressing to express their "individuality" either.
My daughter is nearly 20.
We had more individuality when I was 20 over 30 years ago.
Now, you must have bought the dress , the skimpier the better, irregardless of your physical make up, and the shoes, cripplingly uncomfortable and comical looking, from either BooHoo or Misguided.
And the dresses are basically all the same, nylon with plenty of elastic, so a "medium" fits everyone from an 8 to a 16.
And Cocoa Brown medium self tan, applied to every nook and cranny, liberally, the night before, to let it darken to its full potential.
And Penneys false eyelashes. The glue is of poor quality and when your 14 your yawning and rubbing your eyes at midnight so they'll partially peel off making you look like a panda with conjunctivitis.
No indivuality.
Oh the odd art student hopefully will wear a rah rah skirt with a smiths tshirt snd doc martens but the eye rolling from both sexes will beat her into submission.
It's sad.
All the kids are sad.
They're so sad they're cutting their arms and killing themselves.
And now your going to tell me how that's all the fault of the Catholic Church?

Arcade_Tryer wrote: »

Firstly, it's a teenage disco. Secondly, they stated the reason for the dress code is because of the revealing clothing being worn by teenage girls. So yeah, it's in line with moralistic and puritanical behaviour for me. It's a parent's job to tell their teenager what they can and can't wear. Nobody else's.

And it's the venues right to refuse admission. There's rights and entitlements all round.

Oh dear that's a bleak picture.

infogiver wrote: »

Now, you must have bought the dress , the skimpier the better, irregardless of your physical make up, and the shoes, cripplingly uncomfortable and comical looking, from either BooHoo or Misguided.
And the dresses are basically all the same, nylon with plenty of elastic, so a "medium" fits everyone from an 8 to a 16.
And Cocoa Brown medium self tan, applied to every nook and cranny, liberally, the night before, to let it darken to its full potential.
And Penneys false eyelashes. The glue is of poor quality and when your 14 your yawning and rubbing your eyes at midnight so they'll partially peel off making you look like a panda with conjunctivitis.
No indivuality.
Oh the odd art student hopefully will wear a rah rah skirt with a smiths tshirt snd doc martens but the eye rolling from both sexes will beat her into submission.
It's sad.

I don't think that's sad at all. I think you are just highlighting the assumption that everyone who dresses in the manner you described is some kind of sheep. Some of us, adults included enjoy our cocoa brown tan, our boohoo dresses, our crippling heels and our Penneys eyelashes, maybe that makes us feel good about ourselves? Maybe that's our kind of expression?

The "sheep" who have to have the boohoo dress are creatives, intellectuals, scientists and everything in between, they are not some sad selfless creature who lacks individuality, many of them maybe will be art students. Wearing doc martins instead of a pair of knee high boots doesn't make anyone more "individualistic" than anyone else..

meeeeh wrote: »

Oh dear that's a bleak picture.

It's the uniform as laid down by Khloe Kardashian, the fashion goddess idol of the vast majority of Irish teenage girls.
50 years of feminism and this is where we are.

meeeeh wrote: »

Actually the venue has perfect right to dictate what to wear and they have the right not to attend.

Yes, of course. My point was that the parent's are the only ones who can ultimately dictate what clothes they wear. Again, I just don't see the problem with people choosing to wear revealing clothing. Education and better role models as mentioned earlier might lead to less revealing clothing, but preventing and punishing teenage girls for expressing their fashion preferences isn't going to change anything in the long run. Discussion and openness concerning sexuality and clothing and so on might.

222233 wrote: »

I don't think that's sad at all. I think you are just highlighting the assumption that everyone who dresses in the manner you described is some kind of sheep. Some of us, adults included enjoy our cocoa brown tan, our boohoo dresses, our crippling heels and our Penneys eyelashes, maybe that makes us feel good about ourselves? Maybe that's our kind of expression?

The "sheep" who have to have the boohoo dress are creatives, intellectuals, scientists and everything in between, they are not some sad selfless creature who lacks individuality, many of them maybe will be art students. Wearing doc martins instead of a pair of knee high boots doesn't make anyone more "individualistic" than anyone else..

Have you been around the disco exit much at chucking out time?

infogiver wrote: »

Have you been around the disco exit much at chucking out time?

Sure have, I don't go to discos personally I'm probably over a decade too old. What's your point?

The_Valeyard

Could be rain tomorrow,

probably the fault of the Catholic Church.

Traffic on the way to work today, probably the Catholic Church again.

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Could be rain tomorrow,

probably the fault of the Catholic Church.

Traffic on the way to work today, probably the Catholic Church again.

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

Cheap post for cheap thanks.

Not the fault of the Catholic Church.

Arcade_Tryer wrote: »

Yes, of course. My point was that the parent's are the only ones who can ultimately dictate what clothes they wear. Again, I just don't see the problem with people choosing to wear revealing clothing. Education and better role models as mentioned earlier might lead to less revealing clothing, but preventing and punishing teenage girls for expressing their fashion preferences isn't going to change anything in the long run.

I would hope they would develop better taste. Besides there is nothing fashionable about those dresses, current fashion is midi, covered bust and cold shoulder or bare back.

_Brian

Arcade_Tryer wrote: »

Yes, of course. My point was that the parent's are the only ones who can ultimately dictate what clothes they wear. Again, I just don't see the problem with people choosing to wear revealing clothing. Education and better role models as mentioned earlier might lead to less revealing clothing, but preventing and punishing teenage girls for expressing their fashion preferences isn't going to change anything in the long run. Discussion and openness concerning sexuality and clothing and so on might.

No one is talking about punishing girls for wearing excessively revealing clothing. Parents need to advise and guide them to make choices that allow them to develop and learn as they make their way to adulthood without compromising on their self respect.
As a parent one thing I've learnt is you can't try and win every battle, there are always topics you'll forfit on and allow a 14yo learn the lessons the hard way. Best keep your powder dry and hold the hard line on the topics most important to your moral code whatever that he.
A big issue For us it's not allowing excessively revealing clothes, we've managed (so far) to help her understand to wear what she's really wants rather what general trends and she's been thankful for the guidance (mostly)

I said before it's hard on a forum like this and on such a topic to comment as a parent and not seem like a fuddy duddy. But then we make no apologies for setting what we see as reasonable moral standards. I'd wager many here will change their tune if they are parents some day.

T-Maxx

_Brian wrote:

I'd wager many here will change their tune if they are parents some day.

This.

222233 wrote: »

Sure have, I don't go to discos personally I'm probably over a decade too old. What's your point?

The teenage discos in this town have recently been the subject of a very well attended public meeting in this rural town where they'd hardly leave the house of an evening for anything including a nuclear attack.
The amount of children lying in the street in pools of vomit has reached crisis point
And of course every parent wants someone else to be responsible
The school (?!?)
The AGS
The Town Council
The Hotel
Society at large (seriously. One mother decided that any adult who didn't want to risk being labelled a paedophile by picking their subconscious scantily clad daughter up off the pavement should be arrrested and fined.)
Just not the actual guardians of the kids.