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Child Item

Good excuses to give for NOT drinking

Commotion Ocean

A while back, we had our work Christmas party. I didn't fancy a hangover or making a tit of myself so I planned to drive in.

When I told some of my co-workers about this, they were shocked and appalled, as if I had just turned down a million pounds jackpot.

When I arrived, I had a welcome glass of champagne, but refused anything else as I was driving. Some people, even after telling them I didn't want drink as my car was outside, insisted I drank, told me to "ditch" the car in the guest car park get a taxi back home and drive my car home tomorrow.

I felt horrendously guilty after refusing a drink that they had bought me (even though they bought it after I clearly told them I wasn't taking alcohol).

What excuse can I give to people that they'll believe or should I just tell them to fuck off if they insist?

I'm male and 25 btw, pregnancy is no excuse :P Antibiotics is the oldest excuse in the book btw :P

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[Deleted User]

that you dont want to drink

obviously

Tigger

The antibiotics

Academic

Doctor's orders. Seriously.

Don't claim any particular condition; unless they're really rude they won't ask.

Miss Demeanour

Antibiotics.

bazz26

http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqkaa0cc7Z1r25534o1_500.gif

s4uv3

"You live your life, and I'll live mine"

You can say it with a smile and be friendly about it, but it usually gets the point across fairly quickly

pickarooney

Rampant alcoholism

K.Flyer

Just say;
".. I've given it up, ages ago, but I'm still able to have a great time."

van_beano

How about "I have to work with ye shower of fuks every day of the week, I don't want to use up valuable drinking time with ye as well".

I use it all the time and I actually mean it, no one takes me seriously.

The Princess Bride

Who needs an excuse?
If they wanna waste their money buying you a drink simply because they didn't listen when you said " No thank you", well so be it.

The day will come when you won't worry what they'll say.

Thespoofer

In Mother Russia, alcohol drink you.

Skommando

Tell them you've taken a short term pledge with the pioneers total abstinence association.

http://www.pioneerassociation.ie/short-term-pledge.

Senna

Judge ordered I'm to abstain from alcohol, after the *cough* incident

Train Dragon

Tell them you're training for an Iron Man or a 10k. I havent drank in 6 months and the latter is my actual real excuse.

If that doesnt get them off your back then tell them to feck off.

longshanks

It's a party where everyone is going to be drinking. If you know this is the situation and you're not going to drink, why turn up?

pablo128

Ah for fcuk sake just tell them you're a Muslim.

andekwarhola

'I've a bit of a drink problem and tend to batter people that offer me drinks'

VeVeX

You're trying to cure an acute case of gout? It'll probably make for a good icebreaker conversation too, win-win.

Pinch Flat

Tell them that the drink exacerbates your phychosis and that you had to leave your last company after battering the boss.

MadYaker

Tell them you had a massive alcohol and drug problem a few years ago. Your wife and family abandoned you and you nearly died of a heroin overdose in a back alley somewhere and it subsequently took you years to get clean and you're fcked if you're going to throw your life away for a few drinks at the xmas party. That usually shuts them up.

bazz26

longshanks wrote: »

It's a party where everyone is going to be drinking. If you know this is the situation and you're not going to drink, why turn up?

So what you're saying is that pissheads should only really turn up?

Tsipras

People don't care, it's only in your head if you think they do. I've seen both sides - I've been off the drink thinking people would be bothered but nobody cares - and I've had friends off the drink and been out with them I couldn't care less

Academic

Miss Demeanour wrote: »

Antibiotics.

Problem here is they'll think you have something contagious, which can put a damper on the old social life, if you get my drift ...

Joe Hill

You just don't fancy a drink simple as that.

ben.schlomo

You don't need an excuse, just stick to your guns.

Grayditch

Tell them that it's just that you get a bit handsy...

Then make international diddy squish signal.

endacl

Learn the following phrase, and use as required. Works every time:

"No thanks"

[Deleted User]

If someone buys drinks for you anyway, that's on them. You've no need to feel guilty because someone decides to ignore what you've told them..

No thanks, I'm not drinking - or to be really unequivocal just tell them you don't drink and don't apologise for it.

maudgonner

Anyone who gives you stick over it is an idiot. If you don't want to drink, don't drink. Most people wont care, some will but more fool them.

should I just tell them to fuck off if they insist?

Yes, you should. Politely at first, but firmly if they persist. And don't feel guilty if they waste their money buying you drink, that's their fault.

[Deleted User]

"I'm MASSIVELY pregnant."