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Child Item

Giving co - workers lifts

CowBella

Anyone have any advice on getting out of giving a co worker lifts to work, in the mornings?
I appreciate I am going to the same direction, but I feel under pressure to be at the meeting point every morning.
I have to drop my child off first and always feel stressed and anxious!

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midnight city

They are obviously working tell them to go and learn to drive.

TheDoc

ArthurG wrote: »

A lot of the advice on this forum tends to involve making up elaborate lies to manage situations that could be resolved by simply having an adult conversation.

Just tell the person involved that you have to drop your kid off in the morning and that if they cannot be at the designated place on the dot, you cannot hang around.

Yeah seriously, sometimes I actually dread how people make it out of their house in the morning.

Your doing a massive favour for a colleague. Massive to be fair, especially if your not taking a few quid or their not offering for petrol/diesel.

"Listen going to have to knock the lift thing on the head, I'm too frantic in the morning with the little one and then I'm worrying about getting you"

You'll likely get a mortified response of "oh my god of course, jesus listen thanks a million you've been great no worries"

Or if you get some snooty aggressive response, then why are you bothering helping this person out? You just say you can't AND STOP PICKING THEM UP

Come on now. Your a grown up. Just get it sorted

bfa1509

Oh God, I hate people who expect lifts from people! One poor ex colleague of mine had to bring a girl from Galway to Kildare every friday evening on his way home to Dublin for about a year. The girl was a typical princess who expected everything to be done for her. She would offer no token of gratitude either as 'he was going that way anyway' (even though he had to divert for 20 mins to get her to a point that he could drop her off safely)

The same girl often used to ask me for a lift home to her apartment during the week too, but I used to tell her that the traffic was too bad to go that way.

Although it's too late to say it now, my best advice is to nip it in the bud from the start and never give any colleague, friend, family member a lift. Ever. (unless you are sure it's a once off)

5rtytry56

_Brian wrote: »

I sorta got caught with this a few times and the lad wasn't a great timekeeper.

I'd pull up at his house and have to wait maybe 10 minutes.

I started just leaving if he wasn't standing out at the roadside, he asked and I said I couldn't be late, if he was waiting I'd stop. Was in time for maybe a week and then again I just drove past when he wasn't there.

He said it was ok he'd make alternative arrangements. Occasionally he'd text for a lift but he'd always be standing ready if he did.

"Way back when" I had to take a lift from my work collegue, he simply informed me that if I was'nt on the street there and then to be collected
he would drive on.

- No hard feelings. It's on them to WAIT AROUND.

galah

If you pick them up at their place, you could just text them when you leave creche/school (and tell them you'll be there in x minutes from that time?)

I usually pick up a colleague as i am always passing their house - i tell them what time to be outside at (as i know how long it takes from my house to theirs and i know when i'll leave, roughly). Agreement is that if they are not outside, i'll just keep going and they can take the bus.

No pressure, no hassle, just a text, really.

Got caught with this years ago though - shockingly unreliable colleague, i was left waiting for him one day for almost an hour, i then took off to work as he didnt show and wouldnt answer his phone, and then he had the cheek to give out to me for not waiting for him when he eventually made it to work - three hours later. Suffice to say that was the end of lifts for him. :mad:

_Brian

I sorta got caught with this a few times and the lad wasn't a great timekeeper.

I'd pull up at his house and have to wait maybe 10 minutes.

I started just leaving if he wasn't standing out at the roadside, he asked and I said I couldn't be late, if he was waiting I'd stop. Was in time for maybe a week and then again I just drove past when he wasn't there.

He said it was ok he'd make alternative arrangements. Occasionally he'd text for a lift but he'd always be standing ready if he did.

midnight city

Its a real imposition to expect someone to take you to work every day for free. What if you want to take a day off or leave early or leave late you feel obliged to let them know.

I used to have a co worker that relied on me to take them home for lunch and back as we both lived near each other. The learned to drive then so it stopped. I won't let myself get caught up in that arrangement again.

What other alternative do they have is there a bus on route. Are they learning to drive.

ArthurG

A lot of the advice on this forum tends to involve making up elaborate lies to manage situations that could be resolved by simply having an adult conversation.

Just tell the person involved that you have to drop your kid off in the morning and that if they cannot be at the designated place on the dot, you cannot hang around.

Dee01

holy guacamole wrote: »

Should ask for money even if you are already going that way.

Although if you've been giving this person lifts for a while it may seem strange if you suddenly ask for money. In truth, they should have offered by now, and insisted if you refused.

A few extra quid won't make you less stressed but it might bring a bit of balance to an arrangement which currently seems to be heavily weighted in your work colleague's favour.

But they don't want to do this anymore, so why ask for money when you're looking to change the arrangement?

I think the best option is to do as above. I'll be passing *around* this time. Don't put yourself under pressure. You're doing them a favour, if they're not happy with late/early arrival, let them get the bus.

glomar

i think it does effect your insurance for social and domestic use , it could be questioned if there was a claim .
This came up in work when the last big freeze came in , they expected people to go to the bus stops - luas stations to pick up people to get them to the office . Once it was pointed out that you wouldnt be covered under most insurance policies HR recinded the request .

Alternatively you could just say " Get your own car ! " But seriously just mention your scheduling has changed and you cannot accomdate the free lifts in the morning .

CowBella

I must look into that, thank you!

Mrs OBumble

Don't ask for money - they may be quite wiling to pay, and it would trap you into the arrangement. Also it could have implications for your insurance.

Senna

What stress, just say youll be passing around x time, not on the dot of X, if your 15 minutes late, oh well. Get a bus if you don't like it.

lab man

Tell em your joining a gym wait till after Xmas. .

holy guacamole

CowBella wrote: »

No. I don't really mind the money side of it, as I am going that way. I just find it an added stress!

Should ask for money even if you are already going that way.

Although if you've been giving this person lifts for a while it may seem strange if you suddenly ask for money. In truth, they should have offered by now, and insisted if you refused.

A few extra quid won't make you less stressed but it might bring a bit of balance to an arrangement which currently seems to be heavily weighted in your work colleague's favour.

CowBella

No. I don't really mind the money side of it, as I am going that way. I just find it an added stress!

holy guacamole

Do they give you money at the end of the week for the lifts?

Nervous Wreck

"My schedule has changed in the mornings; I won't be able to pick you up anymore."