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Adult ADHD Advice

cannex

This thread for adults who think they might have ADHD, want advice about what it means to be an adult with this neurological disorder and how to access help in Ireland to reach a diagnosis and what you are entitled to.

If you are here to spout ignorant nonsense about it being a pretend condition you are not welcome.
This thread is specifically for people looking for support.

I am a recently diagnosed adult and I am willing and able to anwer questions, to the best of my abilty, and from my own experience about managing ADHD and how to deal with a new diagnosis.

I can also answer questions about tips and techniques.

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Shint0

I suppose I'm still thinking about anonymity if anyone can join automatically if the link is followed from here. I think I would be pretty easy to spot. I tend to ramble a lot and write long posts once I get going and you just can't shut me up

On the the international sites it's something you don't really have to worry about too much as you don't have to list what country you're from.

cannex

Its up to you but there can be private threads for members only, cant do much more than an anonymous forum that allows private threads only viewed by members. As there is only one member I will have to just keep an eye on who joins and make sure they are bona fida. Anyways, totally understand where you are coming from as IE is such a small place.

Rest assured it will not be a free for all and once a member posts it can still be flagged for spam, abuse and trolling like other forums.
Your decision on how much you want to reveal and how safe you feel to do that would have to be seen by you at some stage if you decide to join the forum - no pressure

Will have to keep the link on here as the adult adhd search for boards.ie comes high up on google and I would like people to find the forum, hope you understand.

edit: just thinking I could set the forum for all members to be approved first, although it may not make much of a difference as I will have no idea if that person clicked the link here or somewhere else, only way really to know is if they post abuse or rubbish and deal with it from there.
SO if you think it would be a safer environment for us to do it that way I'll change it now.

that is done now, all new members will have to be approved.

Shint0

Having some private threads too sounds like a good idea as well as having open threads/discussions with general information. It could probably be a good mix. I will have a think about it anyway.

Edit: Just saw your edit there, Cannex. I suppose that's what I was originally thinking of because I know there are a couple of health-related forums I have signed up to in the past which required approval from the site administrators to join where you had to declare your interest in why you wanted to join. It's useful in that it screens for people who want to become genuine members.

I searched the title on Google but it didn't come up. Does it show up near the top in searches?

Wanderer78

apologies folks, but i havent read through the tread, will do when i can, but what kind of problems do adults with adhd have?

cannex

Shint0 wrote: »

Having some private threads too sounds like a good idea as well as having open threads/discussions with general information. It could probably be a good mix. I will have a think about it anyway.

Edit: Just saw your edit there, Cannex. I suppose that's what I was originally thinking of because I know there are a couple of health-related forums I have signed up to in the past which required approval from the site administrators to join where you had to declare your interest in why you wanted to join. It's useful in that it screens for people who want to become genuine members.

I searched the title on Google but it didn't come up. Does it show up near the top in searches?

No worries, it took me a couple of reads to figure out what you were saying, I skim too much and have to read things a few times.
The forum doesnt come up on google unfortunately as I guess there is not enough traffic. The boards.ie threads on adult adhd comes up at the top of a google search though.

cannex

Wanderer78 wrote: »

apologies folks, but i havent read through the tread, will do when i can, but what kind of problems do adults with adhd have?

Hey wanderer78

Generally a lot of the descriptions for children show themsleves differently as adults. Add more responsibilities in general and adults who were never diagnosed or people who were diagnosed when younger find that they struggle to manage daily life - paying bills on time, getting to work on time, managing outbursts, managing frustrations, being flakey, not able to follow conversations, zoning out, unable to prioritize basic and big tasks in life etc etc.
Here is a link that will describe what adults experience:
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/adult-adhd/symptoms-causes/dxc-20198866

here is an excerpt from the link:

Complications
ADHD can make life difficult for you. ADHD has been linked to:

Poor school or work performance
Unemployment
Trouble with the law
Alcohol or other substance abuse
Frequent car accidents or other accidents
Unstable relationships
Poor physical and mental health
Poor self-image
Suicide attempts

The old chestnut of "well everyone experiences those things in life, so everyone has adhd blah blah blah......"

Main reason for diagnosis is if these symptoms have such an impact on your life that they effect your ability to live a normal life and they have a detrimental effect.

Wanderer78

cannex wrote: »

Hey wanderer78

Generally a lot of the descriptions for children show themsleves differently as adults. Add more responsibilities in general and adults who were never diagnosed or people who were diagnosed when younger find that they struggle to manage daily life - paying bills on time, getting to work on time, managing outbursts, managing frustrations, being flakey, not able to follow conversations, zoning out, unable to prioritize basic and big tasks in life etc etc.
Here is a link that will describe what adults experience:
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/adult-adhd/symptoms-causes/dxc-20198866

here is an excerpt from the link:

Complications
ADHD can make life difficult for you. ADHD has been linked to:

Poor school or work performance
Unemployment
Trouble with the law
Alcohol or other substance abuse
Frequent car accidents or other accidents
Unstable relationships
Poor physical and mental health
Poor self-image
Suicide attempts

The old chestnut of "well everyone experiences those things in life, so everyone had adhd blah blah blah......"

Main reason for diagnosis is if all these symptoms have such an impact on your life that they effect your ability to live a normal life and have a detrimental effect.

thank you very much for your response. im coming to some conclusions regarding long term unemployment and adhd is on my list of root causes. sadly im not convinced our politicians truly understand this nor know how to adequately deal with it.

Orionis

I've made an account just so I could post here. It's a really great thread and I'm so glad adult ADHD is being discussed here.

Like others, I'm concerned about anonymity but I will say that I'm a young adult recently diagnosed with ADHD. The diagnosis explained a lifetime of difficulties for me. I've done a lot of research since being diagnosed and I'd consider myself very knowledgable about ADHD and particularly the situation here in Ireland. I'm happy to help here if I can and hope we can all learn from one another. There are excellent international discussion forums for ADHD but as people have pointed out the info isn't Ireland specific.

To be honest, I think the most important thing to understand for anyone diagnosed or going through the process of assessment is that there is huge ignorance regarding adult ADHD within the Irish medical profession. The majority of Irish GP's AND (appallingly) adult psychiatrists either do not believe it exists or that it is an over diagnosed american fad. This ignorance of the condition is really inexcusable in light of the mountain of research that exists confirming ADHD as a very very real condition. Yet sadly, many Irish doctors know nothing or worse are misinformed about the condition.

The above presents a very serious challenge for anyone who suspects they may have ADHD. The standard advice of speak to your GP may not work. You may be fobbed off or wrongly told you don't have it. So it's essential to educate yourself and go prepared. However, even if you are referred to someone within the HSE for assessment, it's unlikely you will see someone knowledgable about ADHD. There's a good chance you will be misdiagnosed with a mood or anxiety disorder. [That may also be the case for you but in my experience the ADHD is the underlying problem with eg depression or anxiety very very commonly occuring as a secondary problem due to undiagnosed/untreated ADHD. So the best bet is to get a private assessment as has been discussed here already.

If you can't afford to attend one of the Irish ADHD specialists privately, I honestly don't know what to advise. I would say if at all possible, get a diagnosis privately and then see what services you can access publically.

Well I feel like I could go on forever talking about this. I'd echo what others have written in that I don't even know where to start in talking about ADHD. It's so underdiagnosed in Ireland that it really doesn't bear thinking about the sheer number of people struggling unneccessarily without knowing/understanding/getting the right help.

I really hope the situation changes soon. It is certainly beginning to - Awareness is growing. And in truth, I think those of us with ADHD are the best advocates for that change.

cannex

Fantastic that you found this thread Orionis
Its great to meet so many people in the same boat and I agree 100% with everything you say.

My experience with the HSE mental health unit has made my mental health worse to be fair since I was diagnosed. I have had to fight my corner every step of the way and it takes its toll. Its so unfaiir that anyone with mental health problems, or our case neurological disorders have to faight so hard. It really sucks. The absolute lack of help for adults with ADHD makes life very hard.

Would you be interested in joining the ADHD Ireland forum???

I agree that we are the only people who can change this....I have high hopes

Orionis

Now that I am clearer on discussing medications I will answer your question a bit better.

There is only one medication that is licensed for adults with adhd in Ireland and it is called Strattera.
It is relatively new and is hailed as a non addictive treatment for adults.

Stimulants are licenced for children and the idea behind this is that parents have control over the dosages and therefore there is little chance of them being abused.

Stimulants are not licenced for adults for a few reasons:
Adults with ADHD are more likely to have abused drugs in the past according to research so prescribing a controlled substance is a big no no in Ireland.
I also think this could be down to a lack of understanding due to Ireland being fairly behind in general regarding this issue.
The reason being is that first of all, there are now slow release stimulants that have a much lower potential for abuse.
Research points to the fact that once adults who are treated with medication, stimulant or not, will in general stop abusing illegal drugs or self medicating with alcohol and other drugs.

I take slow release ritalin and unlicensed medication like this can only be prescribed by the consultant psychologist and secondly the GP must be comfortable writing the prescription.

The GP cannot offer advice and discuss dosage. To do this I must wait for my appointment with the mental health team.
The last time my dosage changed I had an hour long meeting with the head clinical psychologist. I guess because it is a controlled medication.

The reason stimulants are not licenced for adults in Ireland is because there is concern for abuse.

Methylphenidate - ritalin, adderall, concerta and vyanse are all versions of methylphenidate.

Cannex, you have provided fantastic info so far in this thread. I know this post above was while a go but there's a few things in that post relating to medication that I don't think are quite correct and might be worth clarifying for anyone reading. I'm open to correction of course but the below is my understanding of the situation...

1. Strattera isn't the only medication licensed for adult ADHD in Ireland. Long acting Ritalin is licensed for adults too.

2. ritalin, adderall, concerta and vyanse are NOT all versions of methylphenidate. Only Ritalin and Concerta contain methylphenidate. Concerta is a long acting formulation licensed only for children. And then ritalin comes in an immediate release form and a long acting form. The long acting form is licensed for adults.

Adderall and Vyvanse are different medications altogether. Vyvanse (licensed only for children in Ireland but for adults too in the UK for example) is the drug Lisdexamfetamine. [It's branded as Tyvense instead of Vyvanse in Ireland just to complicate things!!]

Adderall is a mixture of two different amphetamine salts. To my knowledge, it is not licensed at all in Ireland and though it could in theory be prescribed, would be difficult to obtain.

Like you say, whether these medicines are licensed or not has as much to do with economics, concerns regarding substance abuse and general lack of knowledge regarding the condition in Ireland. Just because a medication isn't specifically licensed for adult ADHD in ireland doesn't mean it isn't effective or isn't used routinely in other countries.

Anyway, it goes without saying that the person to discuss medication with (once diagnosed) is a psychiatrist. If at all possible one specialising in ADHD or at least familiar with the condition and it's treatment. I've kept this post factual so hopefully it's not problematic in terms of the rules. But I think it's really worthwhile to be informed and familiar with the medications that are available here.

Orionis

Fantastic that you found this thread Orionis
Its great to meet so many people in the same boat and I agree 100% with everything you say.

My experience with the HSE mental health unit has made my mental health worse to be fair since I was diagnosed. I have had to fight my corner every step of the way and it takes its toll. Its so unfaiir that anyone with mental health problems, or our case neurological disorders have to faight so hard. It really sucks. The absolute lack of help for adults with ADHD makes life very hard.

Would you be interested in joining the ADHD Ireland forum???

I agree that we are the only people who can change this....I have high hopes

Sorry to hear you have had such trouble with the HSE team. I couldn't agree more regarding how exhausting it is fighting a constant battle to get the right services/treatment. I feel like I've had to do everything myself every step of the way. I'll join the forum for sure.

There are excellent supports and professionals that can help with adult ADHD in Ireland but unfortunately they all seem to be private. If you can't afford to access those, it's very challenging. Medication is the most effective treatment in most cases so getting on that and finding the right med and dose that works for you seems to be half the battle.

From what I've read, all the strategies and psychological treatments only really work or at least work best in addition to medication rather then in isolation. That's where I'm at now - trying to implement all those strategies.

You have probably already come across it but the lectures by Russell Barkley on youtube are fantastic. For anyone newly diagnosed or looking to learn more, they are a excellent starting point. There's one very long one over an hour and then several shorter ones. I don't think I can link but the one titled "Dr Barkley About Adults with ADHD" on youtube is an incrediblly accurate description of the sense of anger most of us experience from not being diagnosed earlier. Also the youtube video "This is how you treat ADHD based off science....".

cannex

Thanks, I absolutely appreciate any clarifcation or corrections. No bruised egos here

That makes sense as I was prescribed Ritalin LA.
Hopefully we will all be informed properly, knowledge is power!

Thanks for joining the forum too

Wierd I always thought Barkely was someone else lol - just watching the video you mentioned.

I'll link it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B66nengrhZo

goldtop57

Hi all !
I was diagnosed with ADD about a year ago in Beaumont under Professor David Cotter , I was being tested for something else but they picked up on this and was referred to Cotters Dept.
Although they diagnosed ADD I also feel there is a certain amount of hyperactivity as well.

The day I was diagnosed I went home and started reading up on it and everything started to make sense ,then thinking to myself why did I not see this years ago as it was so blatantly obvious

I am now 48 and started meds last Thursday , It took over a year because I also have had heart problems in the past .
I started on the lowest dose of Concerta Xl . I was quite nervous taking it on Thursday morning before I set off for work but at the same time not expecting much because of the small dose and the fact that I'm a fairly well built man.

Normally Im slightly hyper with a nervous tension in work but felt very relaxed as if my brain had slowed down from the usual ten thoughts going on at the same time , I also did my tasks a lot easier than normal .

I've always been a bit on the quiet side and not much of a conversationalist as I lose track of the conversation but was happy to chat away with no bothers without any problems

Home from work and had a long conversation with the other half about the day etc. and still very relaxed . Normally I come home from work and crash for an hour as my head is completely fried from the days work
I went to bed and slept like a baby , normally Im tossing ,turning and thinking about work etc half the night .
Friday was pretty much the same .

Yesterday and today I have spent doing bits and pieces around the house of my own accord that normally I would say aaah I,ll do that later on and usually only do them when my wife throws a complete strop.

The side effects, About four hours in I get the hair standing on the back of my neck for an hour or two and a few mild headaches along the way but nothing too severe.

I dont think its done too much for my concentration , maybe a slight improvement as I still struggle to digest what I read and struggled to read this thread but all in all its been a pretty good experience so far.

I'm really surprised with just how calm I am, I feel as if im on the last few days of a two week vacation.
I hope this vacation lasts !

cannex

The difference for me on meds is huge. I can hold a conversation, I can get housework done. Like you said instead of 10 different thought at once now I have one or two. Its much easier to focus because of that.

The come down on the meds can be very noticeable for me, I feel brain dead, cant get my words out, get a slight headache. In the mornings when I take them I can feel a bit like I've had too much coffee but that wears off after about half an hour.

After taking the meds for a while now I barely notice it. At the beginning I had no appetite and would only eat after the meds wore off but now I get hungry at the usual times and I can eat no bother.

Being diagnosed also made a lot of sense for me and I being educated on the areas I struggle with, the effects of dopamine on the brain and how it effects daily activities like planning ahead and controlling frustration have helped me to realise what the meds are actually doing.

I am interacting with my family a lot more. I was always quiet in certain situations, like family gatherings because I would blurt out nonsense and get strange looks so I learnt to be quiet so as not to make a fool of myself. Now I am more confident to interact and actually pay attention to what is being said and to be able to respond properly.

The hyperactivity doesnt really disappear in adults, it just comes out in a different way. For me, for example I always sit at the edge of my chair, I wriggle around a lot. I get up and down while eating dinner as I will have forgotten my fork, a napkin, some salt etc etc.
I will fiddle with my hair, my hands, tap my fingers, loads of examples. As adults we learn to not to the things that children would do as we have a bit more control over our need to move as we know how socially inappropriate it is.

As adults we may feel the need for constant entertainment, constant need for information, for learning about a random subject, flicking between web pages, reading articles (well thats me anyway

)

Thanks for joining the forum folks whoever you are on here. Now all you need to do is say hello, introduce yourself, post anything at all

Shint0

cannex wrote: »

As adults we may feel the need for constant entertainment, constant need for information, for learning about a random subject, flicking between web pages, reading articles (well thats me anyway )

Definitely not just you

It's like anything you're passionate about you can't enough of but then it reaches a plateau and you get so f*cking overwhelmed and that's when you get hyperactive, can't even stand still, can't sit down, just endless circling round and round. You just can't get your brain to shut up, can't channel the energy into anything productive. It's a double edged sword. A complete curse. And then according to one assessment I absolutely, definitely don't have it :rolleyes:

cannex

Very descriptive indeed! From waking to the the last minute before sleep usually. Thats where the meds help me. I can get things done in the right sequence and not just jump from one thing to another, well less anyway.

Sorry now gonna do some shameless promotion....
This is a thread I made on Russell Barkley, thanks orion for introducing him to me. I had him mixed up with Hallowell who goes on about the gift of adhd, that pisses me off as I am struggling with the crappy bits a lot too. There are good times to be a quick thinker and think in a different way obviously.

Anyway here is the link from the new forum, a thread for Russell Barkley videos.

http://adhdadultireland.boards.net/thread/6/dr-russell-barkley

This video blew me away

Noodleworm

I'm going mad dealing with doctors and ADHD,
I've been on concerta since I was diagnosed at 14. I'm now 25.

Today my doctor is calling me up when I just wanted some test results to have another 'talk about my adhd' this happens almost everytime I see a GP. They always want to take me off the medication for no reason other than its easier for them. Because I am happy with my medication and dosage. and I find it hugely beneficial, and really required for me to work.

My old GP in my home town used to just give me repeat prescriptions after I finished with my child psychiatrist at 18. When I moves to Dublin for good I eventually needed to find a local GP. and from there, they rang around every psychiatrist they could find and none will take me on. They can only advise I go private. My options are to get re-assessed at the Dean's clinic privately. Which I am seeing here, has about a year long waiting list - also cost of private.

They are currently once again sending my to Prof Michael Fitzgerald.
Who I already met about 5 years ago - when I couldn't find a single GP to treat my depression, because I was on ADHD medication. So they sent me to an expert in child adhd, and asd - just to diagnose me with depression and prescribed me prozac (and charge me about 300 for the honour) .

He's a nice enough man but it is ridiculous that I will be forking out another 20, and taking a day off work to go all the way to Blanchardstown to have him yet again read a checklist of ADHD symptoms to me.

Why can't a single HSE psychiatrist in this country take the time to study adult ADHD and provide this service?!
I am so sick and tired of this.
If anyone else knows of a regular mental health clinic in the Dublin area, that can provide the same twice-yearly checkups I received with no problem in my teens (height, weight, blood pressure, "how are you feeling?"), I would very much appreciate a push in the right direction.

cannex

You just need to have a good GP.
You should be referred by your GP as an adult asap to the mental health unit in your area. Your GP does not have the expertise to tell you whether or not you have adhd, you were already tested and diagnosed so all your GP is required to do is to refer you. The reason to be refered to this unit is to be able to keep an eye on stuff that is supposed to be checked for the "how are you feeling?" part etc. While you are on the waiting list to see someone there, there is absolutely no reason your GP cannot prescribe you with the needed medication, you have already a specialist prescribe you and it is up to the gp to decide if they want to print that prescription for you or not.

In the meantime while seeing your GP, provided they are happy to print the prescription for you, you can ask to have you weight checked, your blood pressure checked anyway because you are on a medication that need these things checked.
Looking for a GP, if your one doesnt want to listen to you and has an ill informed reaction........painful. It might be worth looking for a young doctor, or a gp practice that has lots of drs, I rang a few gps at one point and asked certain questions and one never rang me back! So dont talk about adhd over the phone before you meet the gp, find a young, modern practice, go on the website and check out what they specialise in, some gps get extra triaining in mental health for example and it will say it on their website, these are all private and medical card gps by the way. then I guess just hope for a GP that gets it. Bring your papers and diagnosis letters. Hope it works out for you.

Just that your GP cant discuss dosage.

Calibos

Been following this thread for the last few days and watching lots of YT video's. I recognise 9 out of every ten things I've read about it. I am in no doubt whatsoever that I have Adult ADHD. I am now already in the grieving process that Dr Barkley describes in that video. I am also despondent that by the sounds of it as someone who can't afford to go private but neither am I eligible for a medical card that I would would be going up against a mostly non supportive Irish medical establishment wrt to Adult ADHD anyway.

At least I now know why Speed never did anything for me ....or so I thought

cannex

I'm fu&^king despondent too but Nobody else is gonna fight as hard for you as you. Remember you can get referred by your GP. If your not entitled to the medical card and you are diagnosed, you could still be eligible for a gp visit card at least and there is a cap on how much an individual must pay for medication themselves so you could also avail of this scheme.
Work with your GP from the start. Write down everything you remember from childhood that you think is related to undiagnosed ADHD. Come to your GP with a list of difficulties and try to explain how that are related to adhd.

Remember you are paying the GP to treat you and need to get the most efficient - time saving - and benificial appointment for you and the GP.

It can be done, I was diagnosed privately, my GP prescribes my meds, the hse psych department asks me about med dosage(but you dont need to see a psych every time you have issues with meds - there can be phone calls too. It wont always be seeing a really expensive specialist all the time, generally you can get on with things yourself once you work together with your GP and they are confident with the specialists report.
You do not need to be referred to see someone privately but it is better to include you GP and show that you are deadly serious.

Try no to say - well i was online and I discovered ADHD, they hate it when we self diagnose. So just say you think something is up, you give your list of issues and stand your ground with the print outs you think are relevant and you list of symptoms to show the doctor, try to show where they link up.

Dont give up because the outcome of treatment for adults can be life-changing for us and for all our long suffereing families and loved ones.

MrSzyslak

Hey hows everyone doing??

I am going for a private diagnoses next Monday the 19th at the NASS clinic it’s quite expensive at €420 but not sure where else to turn now at this stage. Not sure what I have to be honest. It took 10 years to get through college after dropping out three times and have failed professional exams recently and my performance in work is simply terrible.
I have been diagnosed with anxiety for years and more recently depression (eventhough I never really think I felt depressed just down when I cant function) and I am on a ssri , anytime I brought up adhd to my doctor mental health professional it was shot down straight away and told it was all anxiety. I know after researching they often present together.

I am wondering is this specialist going to put everything down to other mental health issues aswel. I also have never been assessed for adhd and have no old school reports etc to bring. eventhough I know I struggled throughout school. My parents are split and not sure where my old school reports etc are. I am 30 now.

Feel like I could be throwing cash down the drain, but like always, I will procrastinate until the last minute turn up next Monday evening for the appointment completely unprepared ha.

God it would be great to just be a normal functioning member of society :-) haha

cannex

Yup, I've tried college 3 times and left every time, managed to finish two courses I was really in to and did fairly well, but if I had been diagnosed and treated at the time I have no doubt I would have done a hell of a lot better.

Applying for college again for 2017 - its a bit like a running joke with myself, constantly telling people about the next course I'm gonna do. But this time, I'm medicated and I'm getting CBT(something I will write about later).
I'm determined to get a degree in what I love to do as are a lot of people with adhd because we constantly get overwhelmed and have to fail, brush ourselves off and try again, we become resilient and determined little buggers.

Getting the right diagnosis is the first step to having the tools we need to help ouselves.

I replied to your message but I deleted it so I have no idea if you got it? Did you?
Let me know and I can send it again.....

I sent you a PM to describe the process.

MrSzyslak

cannex wrote: »

I replied to your message but I deleted it so I have no idea if you got it? Did you?
Let me know and I can send it again.....

This guy is an expert in developmental and behavioural issues so no, you wont come out of there being even more confused, I can assure you that, everything will be explained to you.

Please make sure you know exactly when you will get your report. Still waiting for mine!

I said more in the PM.

Hey

No never got your PM would be great if you could send on again :-). You gave me the lead on the NAAS clinic so thanks for that. Place in Dublin had a one year waiting list. It was DR. ALAN MURTAGH working from Saint John of God Hospital, Stillorgan.

Yeah I sent you a message a few weeks ago after I got the appointment. Your waiting a long time on the report then is that slowing things down for you? regarding HSE, obtaining medications etc...

Have found this thread helpful, thanks for all your input

cannex

writing it now

secman

Just looking for a bit of advice from people who have been diagnosed with adhd. My son who is almost 35, I suspect has adhd.

Definitely has problem with authority
Definitely has had problems in relationships
Definitely has had and has problems holding on to a job, currently working but the signs are there after 4 weeks, so don't know how long more it will last.;(
Has always had problems managing money, and still does,
Definitely dabbled in hash in his late teens and early 20th.
He is currently very down in himself, and is not really looking after himself, needs a good haircut, his diet is terrible. His bedroom is like a squat.

How do we get him to recognise that he is in need of help, just don't know how to approach the topic with him without him storming out and swearing obscenities at me.

Really would love to get him the help he desperately deserves.

Thanks

cannex

To be honest with you he probably is already well aware that he has problems in all the areas you described.
The thing is, with going throughout life with undiagnosed adhd can cause a lot of shame, a lot of trying to hide thoses deficits from the world - that is a full-tilme occupation I tell you. Then there is the defensiveness if somebody tries to point out that your not quite living up to your potential.

Your son might be feeling like he cant get along in life like his peers and this can make someone feel like a failure and he may feel like he needs to hide and cover up his issues.

Part of having adhd is sometimes not being able to control reactions, over-reacting and losing the temper quite easily too.

So what you are describing is trying to broach the subject with your son.
You seem worried that he will explode and curse and blind.
A lot of the times someone with adhd will react like this because they can be extremely defensive and ashamed and dont want anyone to find out how much they are struggling, because most people undiagnosed see their issues as a moral failing, being stupid, useless and lazy. Also adhd means it can be very difficult to control emotional outburts, anger and reactions to situations and people.

For his family to pick up on the over-reaction judgements (in his eyes) may confirm everything he is feeling about himself.

So you have to remember that these defensive outbursts may be coming from a place of hurt and denial of something being wrong.

If you are able to discuss anything with him I probably would not go straight into adhd, as you know, most people see it as a childhood disorder and he probably does too.

All I can say is try to have a chat with him about something he is willing to discuss and about the difficulties he might be experiencing in that one area, even if he doesnt want to discuss adhd there are still tools and books that you can buy for yourself and for him so he can learn a bit more.

SOftly, softly and see what he is willing to discuss because you cant force him to listen to you and if you push it he may push back even harder.
Talk to him about how he feels about certain llife situations and see how can they be tackled, he may eventually come around to the idea of adhd if he understands that he is not a failure or lazy or stupid.

Once you have some kind of dialogue you may be able to show him this thread for example, look for descriptions of "Adult ADHD" online and print them out.
I think the main thing to get across to him is that he is not a disapointment, that he is a good person who is struggling and there could be a reason for it.
Make sure that he knows that you doont see him as a bad person.

Hope this helps, ask anything else if you need to.

secman

cannex wrote: »

To be honest with you he probably is already well aware that he has problems in all the areas you described.
The thing is, with going throughout life with undiagnosed adhd can cause a lot of shame, a lot of trying to hide thoses deficits from the world - that is a full-tilme occupation I tell you. Then there is the defensiveness if somebody tries to point out that your not quite living up to your potential.

Your son might be feeling like he cant get along in life like his peers and this can make someone feel like a failure and he may feel like he needs to hide and cover up his issues.

Part of having adhd is sometimes not being able to control reactions, over-reacting and losing the temper quite easily too.

So what you are describing is trying to broach the subject with your son.
You seem worried that he will explode and curse and blind.
A lot of the times someone with adhd will react like this because they can be extremely defensive and ashamed and dont want anyone to find out how much they are struggling, because most people undiagnosed see their issues as a moral failing, being stupid, useless and lazy. Also adhd means it can be very difficult to control emotional outburts, anger and reactions to situations and people.

For his family to pick up on the over-reaction judgements (in his eyes) may confirm everything he is feeling about himself.

So you have to remember that these defensive outbursts may be coming from a place of hurt and denial of something being wrong.

If you are able to discuss anything with him I probably would not go straight into adhd, as you know, most people see it as a childhood disorder and he probably does too.

All I can say is try to have a chat with him about something he is willing to discuss and about the difficulties he might be experiencing in that one area, even if he doesnt want to discuss adhd there are still tools and books that you can buy for yourself and for him so he can learn a bit more.

SOftly, softly and see what he is willing to discuss because you cant force him to listen to you and if you push it he may push back even harder.
Talk to him about how he feels about certain llife situations and see how can they be tackled, he may eventually come around to the idea of adhd if he understands that he is not a failure or lazy or stupid.

Once you have some kind of dialogue you may be able to show him this thread for example, look for descriptions of "Adult ADHD" online and print them out.
I think the main thing to get across to him is that he is not a disapointment, that he is a good person who is struggling and there could be a reason for it.
Make sure that he knows that you doont see him as a bad person.

Hope this helps, ask anything else if you need to.

Unfortunately he is in a bad place at the moment, has taken to the bed for literally the whole weekend. Tried to speak to him but is having none of it. But has said he does need help.

cannex

Have you heard of MyMind?
https://mymind.org/
They are a counselling service in Dublin, Cork, Limerick and possibly Galway.
They offer sliding scale counselling and you can get an appointment quickly, within a week.

I use them now doing CBT.

Give them a ring. They're really helpful.
Its informal and there are different therapists dealing with different issues.

cannex

By the way, heads up. I had my appointment with Dr O Domhnaill in August. Paid 420 euros and I 'm still waiting for my report.

Messyhead

Hi,
Not sure if anyone will ever look at this thread again but just in case. I am an adult female and I strongly suspect I have inattentive ADD. I went to the GP - he was nice but I didn't feel taken seriously really. Also I don't think there was much he could do anyway. He gave me the phone numbers of a couple of educational psychologists in Galway but when I phoned them the price was beyond my reach so I went to the GP again to see if there was anything else I could try. While I was waiting for him I saw on his computer screen that he had written 'no sign of hyperactivity' about me - so I guess he is one of those doctors who doesn't know about /believe in ADHD without hyperactivity.

Anyway he said he'd talk to the other GPs in the practice to see if they had any ideas about accessing affordable assessment and phone me on the Monday...but he didn't phone...and never phoned (this is a couple of weeks ago.) I've been phoning around all over the country looking for help - the prices are so high for assessment. It's a pain as some of the things I'm struggling with, whether it turns out to be ADHD related or not, have directly impacted my ability to earn and manage money. Some clinics I've written to to see if a payment plan is possible but haven't heard back.

I've really been struggling, and felt completely hopeless coming out from the GP both times having taken ages to work up the courage to go. And then the non existent phonecall - aargghh. I've got a bit of fight back now though.

Anyway, sorry I'm rambling. Just want to put it out there in case anyone has any nuggets of info on getting assessed. RazzaR I like your approach, I might try the same thing. And I think I might change GP anyway.

I haven't read all the posts here properly so apologies if I've asked something that's been covered already.