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Christmas Party Shenanigans

Piggystardust

So Folks,

Tis the season and all of that and I'm sure we all have some war stories to tell, be they about us or a work colleague. My party was last week and in a failed attempt to be classy, I opted for white wine over my usual beer or Guinness.
BIG mistake. HUGE. Turns out I wasn't the only maniac, but I'll start the ball rolling with my shameful carry on..

Please note, I mostly remember none of this and am secretly hoping my colleagues are dirty exaggerating liars!!

1. I sat on my bosses lap, wrapped my arms around his neck and told him I loved him....repeatedly.

2. Wanted to show someone the tattoo on my upper arm but couldn't pull my dress sleeve up high enough so ripped my dress at the neck exposing both my tattoo and my t*ts.

3. Did a rendition of Tina Turner's 'What's love got to do with it' during dinner while people were trying to eat. This included hair swinging, chairs being kicked over and using my knife as a microphone.

4. Getting into a taxi with somebody already in it, sitting on top of them and refusing to get out. These were complete strangers.

I don't know which of the above is worse. One guy on my team took his shirt off and rubbed butter all over his chest and slide across the dance floor so that at least took some attention away from me. A lot of people got sick and I heard rumors of many 'sleepovers' and fights.

I go out with my friends all the time and drink and have fun. I never end up on their laps or singing into a fork.

What is it about Christmas parties that make you act like a lunatic in front of the people you least want to ever see you that way?!!

So, make me feel better guys.. can anyone top my list?!

A friend of mine got arrested twice at his Christmas party a few years ago actually, that was pretty bad.. :pac:

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mahoganygas

I used to work with a d1ckhead director, hated by everybody.

He got punched at 3 different Christmas party.

Spanish Eyes

lawred2 wrote: »

I'm sure they loved being seated next to you as well...

LOL.

I left at the earliest opportunity, it was usually a stomach problem that involved multiple visits to the facilities.

I am a lovely person, but it's the morons next to me I cannot do.

I'm sure you know the type I'm talking about, and they always landed next to me!!

Leaving at nine having suffered since five, and falling into a nice pub when OH is there to listen to it all is just, well aaaaaaah. the relief.

False jollity and hail fella/woman well met.

Never liked it.

KERSPLAT!

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

LOL.

I left at the earliest opportunity, it was usually a stomach problem that involved multiple visits to the facilities.

I am a lovely person, but it's the morons next to me I cannot do.

I'm sure you know the type I'm talking about, and they always landed next to me!!

Leaving at nine having suffered since five, and falling into a nice pub when OH is there to listen to it all is just, well aaaaaaah. the relief.

False jollity and hail fella/woman well met.

Never liked it.

Sure you are... :eek:

Tazio

OP are you Bridget Jones??

Sounds like good craic...

Work place can be tough going.. nothing wrong with blowing off steam from time to time.. it can help a work colleagues/team get through the tough times... we'll that's my take anyway..

No one got hurt or killed = success.

Spanish Eyes

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

Sure you are... :eek:

What!!!

We might need to go to the XMAS party together LOL. :eek:

lawred2

OP you didn't do anything to harm or offend anyone. Just sounds like harmless fun.

Plus there's no harm in a bit of flesh on display eh!?

Telling the boss lad you love him is a damn sight better than starting an argument about salary or some other personal grievance..

ygolometsipe

I don't know how to explain it but the worst part of a xmass party
is not knowing if you "did ok"

You could be totally awesome but the next day you think you were Hitler.

xmass partys are a mean Joke

Mollyb60

Previous escapades at work christmas parties include the director having a 3 way snogathon in the corner of the pub with a receptionist and another female member of staff. Everyone else was just trying not to look.

Another christmas party included one of the ladies making out with a male member of staff, then telling everyone that she was gay and making sexy/drunk come to bed eyes at every female in the pub for the rest of the night.

Thankfully the worst I've done is drank more wine than I realised in the office and it hitting me on the bus halfway home. Fell in the door of my apartment and fell asleep fully clothed on the bed. All by 7pm. My partner STILL goes on about it. And judging by some stories here that was tame.

the_syco

Piggystardust wrote: »

I sat on my bosses lap, wrapped my arms around his neck and told him I loved him....repeatedly.

One guy on my team took his shirt off and rubbed butter all over his chest and slide across the dance floor

A lot of people got sick

many 'sleepovers' and fights.

I'm guessing someone facing the sack spiked the drinks?

Mambaman

Started my first job after leaving cert. 3 months in and told I wasn't invited to the Xmas party and felt a bit sad as I was the only one not invited.

Anyway another staff member pulled out and I got the nod. I reluctantly accepted and off to Dublin to some hotel to see Joe Dolen we went. A few red bulls and vodkas in and I was on the dance floor all night. Kissing lots of 40 somethings with a pair of knickers on my head and a branch full of knickers in my hand.
Best night I had still to this day and the only time I seen my boss or work mates all night was when they where pulling me off the dancefloor trying to get me into the taxi.

titan18

I don't drink so none for me, but for some of my colleagues they include sleeping with married people, sleeping with same gender married people (always a good laugh after that), fights, someone breaking their ankle trying to dance in heels, and one guy tied the CEO's shoelaces together which resulted in CEO falling over.

retro:electro

Op you sound like mighty craic!

I remember a few years ago getting absolutely sloshed on the free drink and got the same taxi home as the boss. I forgot my house number so to save face I just pretended I lived in this random estate and said "I'm number 42"... "Yep that one there on the right".. The taxi dropped me there and I stumbled out not a notion where I was. I just sat on the footpath and had to ring my boyfriend to come pick me up. I didn't know where I was so in order to direct him I had to knock on a door and ask someone, "hi where am I". Lol.

Spanish Eyes

It is a personality thing IMV.

If you are an extrovert and can cope with dickeads after a few drinks on board....great.

I can't do that cos I am an introvert, hate crowds and small talk for no fekkin reason.

I am very popular too LOL. Everyone knows I am sound and I say it as it is. I look after myself.

Penny Tration

Never been to a bad one tbh. I usually try to leave by 1am before it gets too messy.

Have my work one next weekend, in a new job. I've been told my colleagues get absolutely plastered and make a show of themselves. I can't wait to see what happens

Icsics

Piggystardust wrote: »

So Folks,

Tis the season and all of that and I'm sure we all have some war stories to tell, be they about us or a work colleague. My party was last week and in a failed attempt to be classy, I opted for white wine over my usual beer or Guinness.
BIG mistake. HUGE. Turns out I wasn't the only maniac, but I'll start the ball rolling with my shameful carry on..

Please note, I mostly remember none of this and am secretly hoping my colleagues are dirty exaggerating liars!!

1. I sat on my bosses lap, wrapped my arms around his neck and told him I loved him....repeatedly.

2. Wanted to show someone the tattoo on my upper arm but couldn't pull my dress sleeve up high enough so ripped my dress at the neck exposing both my tattoo and my t*ts.

3. Did a rendition of Tina Turner's 'What's love got to do with it' during dinner while people were trying to eat. This included hair swinging, chairs being kicked over and using my knife as a microphone.

4. Getting into a taxi with somebody already in it, sitting on top of them and refusing to get out. These were complete strangers.

I don't know which of the above is worse. One guy on my team took his shirt off and rubbed butter all over his chest and slide across the dance floor so that at least took some attention away from me. A lot of people got sick and I heard rumors of many 'sleepovers' and fights.

I go out with my friends all the time and drink and have fun. I never end up on their laps or singing into a fork.

What is it about Christmas parties that make you act like a lunatic in front of the people you least want to ever see you that way?!!

So, make me feel better guys.. can anyone top my list?!

A friend of mine got arrested twice at his Christmas party a few years ago actually, that was pretty bad.. :pac:

I'd love a night out with u!

[Deleted User]

Some awful dry sh1tes around here!

uch

I woke up beside the bucket of a mini Digger and a bus stop one Christmas, the bus stop I can understand, but who the fúck can lift the bucket of a digger into my front room, now there were road work outside the house to be fair

andekwarhola

Nothing really beyond getting a bit sloppy and rambling in speech or (when single) flirting with the occasional colleague.

In fact, I usually avoid work Christmas parties because you can never really relax.

After reading this thread, however, I think I was fine and being overly paranoid about myself

sullivlo

Not me. A colleague.

Two years ago at the Christmas party, there was lots of wine consumed (& very little food). We usually have drinks in the communal area before retiring to our individual group areas for a few drinks, and then reconvene in a local pub.

Sounds complicated but it isn't.

Anyway. One of the girls got absolutely horrifically drunk. She fell asleep at the table so we just let her sleep, but when we were leaving we woke her and offered to put her in a taxi.

Biggest. Mistake. Ever.

She bolted. She ran out the door and disappeared into thin air. But not before throwing a few punches and shouting obscene insults at a few people.

Myself and one of the guys followed her. He didn't feel comfortable going after her by himself so I tagged along. It was a rather large game of hide and seek.

Ordinarily if someone has punched me I would leave them be, but she had no coat and it was FREEZING and I was worried about her. Every time we would find her she would run in the opposite direction.

Eventually we cornered her and managed to get her indoors for a while (the guy with us lived nearby) where we got her some food, water and a blanket to warm up. She fell asleep on the couch.

After about 30 mins she woke and bolted out the door, so off we follow her again. Eventually found her hiding between two wheely bins.

She somehow had her phone and we managed to get it from her and call her boyfriend to come and get her.

There was absolutely no mention of that night the following Monday in work, but said colleague hasn't been on a work night out since.

Icsics

One year our Xmas lunch rolled into night time, in a local hotel. There was a wedding on...so we said we'd call in...all 30 of us...and they wouldn't even notice. Not til we were in the middle of the dance floor did we notice, it was a black tie wedding & full of govt ministers...we were asked to leave !

uch

I went to a staff party one year and after too many drinks had to do a Gik, I fell asleep on the pot, and what seemed like 5 minutes to me was actually 3 hours, when I came back to the bar it was empty, so I got me jacket, but noticed a christmas bag on the bar, so being the good soul I am I picked it up and staggered home, left it on the kitchen table and went to bed, when me wife woke up in the morning she seen it and thought it was a pressie for her and had a sneeky peek, there was a Bra in it, and it was a smelly bra that someone had worn, it was hard trying to explain that one

JupiterKid

Work Xmas parties can be good fun but they can also be extremely embarrassing. I hate to sound like a complete killjoy but getting so incredibly drunk that you black out and doing things you might really regret is not really something to be proud of.

It's a symptom of our bad relationship with alcohol in this country.:(

[Deleted User]

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

It is a personality thing IMV.

If you are an extrovert and can cope with dickeads after a few drinks on board....great.

I can't do that cos I am an introvert, hate crowds and small talk for no fekkin reason.

I am very popular too LOL. Everyone knows I am sound and I say it as it is. I look after myself.

Being an introvert doesn't involve calling everyone you work with dickheads. Christ.

Looking forward to mine next week. Dinner and some cocktails

hawkwind23

to the OP and a few others.
This is the reason many of us drink in secretive , hard to find places during the month of December.
Although i did last monday in the local in town and was only one table full of idiots , maybe its on the decline , im going to brave it and try tonight on the back of this

Spanish Eyes

bluewolf wrote: »

Being an introvert doesn't involve calling everyone you work with dickheads. Christ.

Looking forward to mine next week. Dinner and some cocktails

I'm great company when I'm on my own LOL.

Only SOME are dickheads, and as we all know there are always some of them at every party. Honesty is the best policy here!

If you don't know at least one where you work, I call foul

Mrs Shuttleworth

Is Mad Friday next weekend the 16th or the following the 23rd?

Or given this year's calendar, both?!

posturingpat

Had mine last night and i'd usually be the one making an eejit of myself so was glad it was someone else last night.

I strolled into the toilet to do a pee and to my amusement a work colleague that would generally be no craic at all and sneer at anybody having a bit of craic or messing at work managed to be sitting in the urinal(one of the big metal ones) with a puddle of urine around his arse, his cock out and his jocks and trousers at his ankles, i don't know what got in his head that he felt a urinal would be a comfortable place to sleep but he did.
I had a few thoughts going through my head, first was to go out and get a few of the lads and show them and my other slightly more evil one was to have my piss whilst he was in the urinal and if a bit splashed on him so be it :pac:

The angel on my shoulder took over but and i woke him up and said we'd keep it between us, he better not have forgotten