Blacktie. wrote: » So much victim mentality in this. Yes dating is hard. Yes you'll have to make an effort. That's life people.
Wibbs wrote: » What the hell digitalninja? Dial that kinda crap right back please.
digitalninja wrote: » Is this not the internet? I'm sorry I thought this was the internet.
Arevaci wrote: » But personally I find this effort too much and too cynical that I try to limit my efforts to a Friday night out where my chances of success are about 30 times higher than behind a iphone.
Dr Crayfish wrote: » Would all this online dating stuff not work better if only women could send the first message?
bucketybuck wrote: » 80% of men would never get a message.
Dr Crayfish wrote: » But at least they wouldn't be wasting their time sending tonnes of messages that don't get replied to no? And women wouldn't have to filter through 100s of messages every day.
[Deleted User] wrote: » I could talk all day about this stuff, it seems so very obviously worse to me than things were in the past.. for the vast majority concerned at least.
Surreptitious wrote: » I have done and have been ignored 9 times out of ten.
Surreptitious wrote: » I don't like it. It's like they're dragging you through the mud. I'm pretty straight forward it's not like they have to come up with this wicked plan or anything. It reeks of dissent and it sickens me. I don't see how playing on your weaknesses is going to help you get laid anyway.
leggo wrote: » I mean...thanks, I guess, for thinking I'm one of the beautiful people but I'm really not. You kinda lambasted me then in your last paragraph made a near-identical list to the one I gave myself. My point was 'dating isn't hard if you become someone people want to be around'. A lot of guys struggle because they make random excuses like "all women lie and they only want dumb, good-looking guys"...which is just an excuse for people not to try. But why would people want to be with guys who are bitter and angry about their lot in life, spouting crap like that that just isn't true?
Dr Crayfish wrote: » Would you consider yourself good looking?
LLMMLL wrote: » But your vision of the past sounds equally as joyless as your vision of the present: "Oh I kinda like you but there's not many options and I'm grateful if anyone will go near me so lets just put up with each other" Honestly both your visions are plain wrong. Has all the hallmarks of someone whose friends are an all male group that doesn't hang aroud with many women. I work in a university and I see most of the students are in mixed groups and a lot of the relationships feature a less good looking guy and a better looking girl. I suppose when this happens with people in their late 20s/30s and you know nothing about how they got together it's easy to assume she "settled" but it happens at all ages. Most people just meet naturally and get on with someone and get with them. Of course there a subset of awkward guys who go on Tinder and end up having their views warped and start threads like this but that's not representative to how the rest of society operates.
Surreptitious wrote: » One minute here. You said why can't more women send messages then you question me on my looks. Not that it's any of your business there is nothing wrong with my looks. And what about you, I suppose you're drop dead gorgeous yourself.
professore wrote: » How do you tell all that from a Tinder profile?
leggo wrote: » Well for a start you can see if someone eats well, dresses well, grooms themselves well and takes pride in their appearance. Sure there are people born with great genes, 6'5", built like a tank with jawlines of steel, but the earth's female population aren't solely reserved for these people either. Quite a significant amount don't like the Instagram types taking post-workout and meal pics, giving personal training advice and so on. And it's not that difficult to look good in a few pictures if it's something that means a lot to you. The rest is personality and up to yourself. And, in that regard, there's no advantage or disadvantage based on looks. It's hard for anyone, no matter what you look like, to find a connection and relationship with someone. The only rub of the green 'good-looking' people have in terms of Tinder would be they'd probably get quick hook-ups easier. And if people want that but choose to spend their time eating crap, playing video games or doing other stuff not conducive to achieving that goal, then they're making a conscious decision to not have those hook-ups, whether they like it or not. It's like a job, a hobby, anything: if you put effort in (and that means prioritising it over other things in life you enjoy), you'll get results. If you don't, you won't. Not putting effort in and complaining about not getting results, sitting back and coming up with reasons for lack of success and blaming society for your own individual issue, is just plain laziness and whining. Sorry but it's true.
professore wrote: » I agree if you sit round all day stuffing your face and playing video games you're not going to be scoring on tinder. I think though it's much easier for women to do something about this than it is for men. Women have an arsenal of makeup, hair products etc they can use to hide their flaws and maximise their beauty. Men not so much. Sure they can work out and whatever but if they're not relatively good looking they are snookered.
professore wrote: » By the way, I'm an old fart married with adult kids - so I'm not trying to make excuses for myself here or anything, just talking as a neutral observer.
BabyE wrote: » I guarentee you are overrating the girls and underatinfing the lads. This girl settling for a guy lesss attractive only happens if he guy has high social status, I.e played rugby in senior cup for clongowes
LLMMLL wrote: » I think some people get super hung up on evolution and how men only like physically attractive women and women only like fit or wealthy men. If they're faced with anything contradictory they just won't accept it.
BabyE wrote: » Anyone have success off it, why do standards seem to be through the roof nowadays. You got to have the good facial looks, the immaculate hair, amazing body, height, charisma and all the trappings of high status and wealth and then maybe, just maybe you might snag yourself a ticket using the rebound card. What is it? Are we seeing a breathing out of the average male? Is a men only as good as his worse attribute to a women? So you might have a ripped well maintained body but by god if you are below 6 foot or that face isn't as symmetrical as it ought to be then you may as well sign out of the dating game.
