LLMMLL wrote: » Someone mentioned rape culture and consent classes in university earlier. There are no consent classes in irish universities. If men are dropping out of society because of imaginary classes then they've a lot of issues. Most people I know haven't even heard of rape culture. The issue here is people searching for articles on rape culture so they can get angry about it. Just be like everyone else and ignore it.
professore wrote: » I'm glad I'm not on the market now. I can just see how it is - the asshole guys that women all swipe on are even more "assholish" and "confident" and the normal guy is made to feel even more like sh1t. And must be the same for girls, although for hookups men are far less picky than women. My daughter ( she's 19 ) was on tinder for a while. Shes an attractive young woman. One of her male friends got hold of her phone, a guy who gets one swipe a month if he's lucky - he's no brad Pitt but a reasonable looking normal guy. He swipes right on pretty much every girl he sees on there to achieve this "result". He swiped right on every guy on her profile, maybe 30 guys, before she caught him. Guess how many swiped right too? Yep, every single one of them. He was seriously depressed after that exercise.
maregal wrote: » Let him know what he's doing wrong as something is obviously not right if he's never had a gf by age 22.
maregal wrote: » Join meetup.com (this is the worst one. It's reaching meme status)
eviltwin wrote: » He's only 22, most of my mates were single at 22. He has time. Telling him he's basically a lost cause because he's not an Adonis is not helpful. I hope he ignores that.
maregal wrote: » As soon as men try to form a support group to voice their concerns and worries in the Gentlemen's Club women barge in calling us "insane and delusional". What a nice person you are. Can men not have one corner of the internet to ourselves to talk openly? Women initiate divorce 69% of the time btw. Source. That's over two thirds. A staggering figure. How many broken men have they left in their wake for the sake of a quick pay cheque? You can't deny the facts.
Owryan wrote: » That source and it's findings mean nothing without the reasons for getting divorced. How many women got divorced because their partner was an abuser, cheated on them, walked out on them? Simply saying who initiated proceedings is at fault is meaningless without any context.You seem fixated on the idea that everything can be blamed on women.
maregal wrote: » Male unemployment is up ... Males entering college is down ... Anecdotally, the amount of guys in their mid 20s still living at home, single, and unemployed or working a dead end minimum wage job is staggering.
Stoogie wrote: » I don't wander round boards much but there seems to be a lot of women posting on the male issues section. While that would be healthy in the " why can't I " or "what are they thinking " sections it surprises me hereIf young men are feeling put upon then young men are feeeling put upon. It's sad but it's how they seem to be feeling. With respect to the op and anyone feeling like he does : I'm sad that you feel that way but I feel giving up is not the answer. I believe that women find confidence "sexy"'and that won't come across in a tinder (other hookup apps are available ) photo. Learn to communicate and put yourselves out there. Becoming a wanker ( technical term) will not make you happy long term.
Mr Arrior wrote: » That's true but it wud be nice to have that amount of female attention once in a while.
Icemancometh wrote: » To maregal, and I think you know this, the problem with your use of females, is that you used the word men in literally the same sentence. If you didn't mean it in a degaratory way, why didn't you refer to men as males as well?
Mr Arrior wrote: » Well theres nothing local, town is dead but I'm gonna try moving to a bigger city. Couple that with toning up and I'm hoping it will help.
maregal wrote: » I predict a lot of women posters will chime in with helpful advice but how many will practice what they preach and actually go on a date with you? Talk is cheap. At the end of the day, looks are everything. A rich 6ft well-built rugby player will win over the nerdy shy guy without a car every time. You're making yourself miserable by chasing the impossible. My advice is find something you enjoy (video games, movies, camping) and focus your energy on that instead.
Billy86 wrote: » they made a point of praising wibbs to the end of the world.
maregal wrote: » Eh, what? Admit it - you didn't even read the OP. I couldn't be clearer that I do not want a relationship with women. Time to also dispel this myth that it's only ugly bitter guys that follow MGTOW. Take Leonardo DiCaprio for example. One of Hollywood's best looking actors but he's wise enough to not get involved in a relationship. No point risking all his hard work and success on a woman who could destroy him. Look what happened to Brad Pitt. His nutter of an ex will take away his children and collect a hefty chunk of his earnings. When I say nutter I mean it - Angelina Jolie has been photographed kissing her own brother on the mouth and wearing a vial of her ex-boyfriend's blood around her neck. Brad Pitt learned the hard way that you'll be better off staying away from women.
Billy86 wrote: » Dear Mr. Arrior... Please ignore everything maregal said there, it won't get you anywhere good.
PucaMama wrote: If you don't want a woman why are you so concerned with them?
Wibbs wrote: » Good post, though I'll bypass the "be yourself" bit. :P:D For men age makes a big difference too. I couldn't get arrested in my early twenties. Had some action, but was more luck than judgement. My thirties on the other hand… Hell, even my forties have been far more fruitful. I would imagine his angle is he doesn't want a serious long term marriage and kids relationship with a woman. Short term relationships/flings would be fine kinda thing.
Billy86 wrote: This is a strange issue in Ireland to be honest, in Canada and Australia if a woman likes you she will make it known to you, either throwing herself at you (rarely), explicitly chatting you up (sometimes) or just introducing herself and giving you plenty of time etc to get the ball rolling.
Billy86 wrote: Not sure if it's a Catholic thing or a traditionalist/parochial thing, or even just a habit of slut shaming or really what it is, but by comparison in Ireland the amount of times women I know have been swooning at a guy in their vicinity yet when asked "why don't you just go over to him" get almost offended that you would have the gall to suggest such a ridiculous idea would make you want to bang your head against a wall. Over and over and over. And over.
Billy86 wrote: And over.
Billy86 wrote: Dear Mr. Arrior... Please ignore everything maregal said there, it won't get you anywhere good.
Billy86 wrote: For what it's worth, I turned 30 in July. I'm about 5'10, thin but not in great shape (hoping to get back to the gym come Friday since it's right next to my workplace, then again that's the story of my life ) and I'm naturally quite quiet, definitely not an extrovert I'm also dyspraxic and mildly bipolar, so I'm not always the most secure person in the world.
Billy86 wrote: Anyway, up until I was about your age I was pretty shocking with women, couldn't even say Hi to them without at least having mutual friends involved. Long story short, I actually wound up reading one of those pua books out of desperation, can't remember the name of it, but having found out what that community is like since, was lucky as the author basically took the warning that "this is like me giving you a gun, be responsible with this info and don't be a dick". Obvious some of that was salesmanship, but the guy put a big emphasis into being respectful and what not rather than using that 'negging' type nonsense. In the end all that's really stuck with me is to ask plenty of opening questions, give thoughtful answers, use confident body language, speak from your diaphragm and most of all, cheesy and clichéd as it sounds ... Be yourself.
Billy86 wrote: Its largely about what you project, and most women will tell you (and are being honest when they do) that grooming means more than natural looks - being nicely dressed, well kept, etc. That doesn't have to mean being done up to the nines, just looking as good as you can (or in some days, are arsed to be ) in the type of clothing you're comfy with. I'm currently writing this in Gatwick airport in a big, woolly jumper. F***ing love this jumper!
Billy86 wrote: Its the same way you can have identical twin women, one who has a "sexy walk" and has herself done nicely more often than not, and another who looks like she showers once a week, has greasy hair etc and mopes/shuffles about the place whole facing the ground.
Billy86 wrote: Just engage them a manner that says you're confident in yourself (that doesn't mean being extroverted or cocky or snything), be sure to use humour even if you think it might fall flat - it's another sign of confidence telling your joke or making your quip with an air of confidence that says "hopefully this entertains you, but if not... Oh well!", I reckon women don't find humour as attractive as they find the confidence it gives off as being so. Don't forget that the first move you make isn't going in for a kiss, it's more likely to be tapping them on the arm or holding their hand for some reason, and gauging if they are receptive or not - and if they're not, be sure to back away! And again, be yourself and be interesting... and by interesting, I mean what you find interesting and not what you think of or hope they will find interesting.
Billy86 wrote: Won't give you immediate results, but you'll get better at it in time. Worked wonder for me... The reason I'm in Gatwick is because a 22 year old American college student with a very cute face, wicked sense of humour and body to die for has been constantly at me the last few weeks to come give her a 'casual visit'. It's going to sound arrogant but I don't care seeing as how I was an unwilling virgin until my early 20s... the last few years, I've become no stranger to the "how the f*ck is HE with HER!?!?" look.
Billy86 wrote: And amazingly, my natural looks didn't really change much at all in that time. I don't earn crazy money. I'm quite fond of nerdy stuff and just finished building my first gaming pc about 2 weeks back (there's even a thread on it in the pc building forum, those lads are absolute gents!). So much for "it's 100% about looks" is my point. Please don't take that advise, it will get you absolutely nowhere but angry at seemingly every woman in the world.
Billy86 wrote: That said, as I mentioned a few posts up, I find Irish women are less likely to show interest in you than in other countries, and that is in Dublin which I'm assuming you are not in. That's something I sometimes struggle with
Billy86 wrote: » I find Irish women are less likely to show interest in you than in other countries.
Mister Vain wrote: I've noticed that too. I would also add that its very difficult to show an interest in them without coming across too forward. It's almost like a default "Woah you wanna shag me" reaction. From my experience its definitely different in other countries where people are just more upfront with each other. Although you will get mad feckers everywhere.
Mr Arrior wrote: » Again very true. Ideally, asking a woman out is the best way as it leaves no doubt in her mind that a guy likes her. But the culture means that that is an odd thing to do for some reason.
Mister Vain wrote: » Yeah its just not the done thing here. I have met some absolutely stunning down to earth Irish women but I find the dating scene in this country to be really hard work. Having dated some Eastern European women, I find their way of doing things to be a lot more laid back. There are disadvantages too of course but overall its just easier and less of a head melt.
Mr Arrior wrote: » I actually don't drink, never touched a drop and at this stage I'm confident talking to women without it, however its the initial approaching women, I struggle with. Its the feeling that they are so busy they don't want to be bothered etc. I can honestly say that no woman has ever made the first move regarding myself.
seenitall wrote: » I'll tell you what, IRISH MEN DON'T APPROACH. Unless they are full to the brim of Dutch courage, of course, and that simply doesn't work for me, as I don't drink. So that seems to be the end of it in my case, unfortunately.
seenitall wrote: » You sound lovely and I am sure you will be just fine in every regard, Mr Arrior. What you may not realise is that at 22-23 there is a LOT of change ahead of you yet, both in your life's circumstances and in your character. Let it all happen as it comes, but try to not ever lose your sweet enthusiasm for romance and all the good stuff that can happen when two people "click" When I was your age, I started travelling and it was the making of me. No formal education can give you as much insight into yourself or expand your horizons in every way, as much as travel can. It helped me grow into myself, and crucially, gain more and more confidence about who I was, what I had to offer and what I wanted to be doing in life. It really builds character and once you start truly loving yourself, the world will be your oyster - a person who has faith in themselves sees no obstacles, only opportunities but it is vital to test yourself in life, in order to get there.
Billy86 wrote: » Mr Arrior wrote: » That's true but it wud be nice to have that amount of female attention once in a while. This is a strange issue in Ireland to be honest, in Canada and Australia if a woman likes you she will make it known to you, either throwing herself at you (rarely), explicitly chatting you up (sometimes) or just introducing herself and giving you plenty of time etc to get the ball rolling. Not sure if it's a Catholic thing or a traditionalist/parochial thing, or even just a habit of slut shaming or really what it is, but by comparison in Ireland the amount of times women I know have been swooning at a guy in their vicinity yet when asked "why don't you just go over to him" get almost offended that you would have the gall to suggest such a ridiculous idea would make you want to bang your head against a wall. Over and over and over. And over. And over.
seenitall wrote: » That works (or doesn't work, as chance would have it) the other way around, too. I am from the continent originally, and have never, ever had any substantial success with any Irish guy in my 16 years living here. In that time I managed to rack up a brief marriage and a fun relationship with 2 different men, neither one of them Irish. I'll tell you what, IRISH MEN DON'T APPROACH. Unless they are full to the brim of Dutch courage, of course, and that simply doesn't work for me, as I don't drink. So that seems to be the end of it in my case, unfortunately. Every time I have spent a bit of nice and fun time with a Spanish man, for example, honestly I get this feeling that reminds me of home (Eastern Europe), where things just go smoothly, no one is embarrassed by their interest or needs to get off their face hammered to do something about it. It is all just so natural and warm and respectful (of course you also get dicks of both sexes in any nationality, but in other nationalities there is just so much less hostility and distrust between the sexes from the get go like there is over here, and there is less acceptance of drunken boorish sexual advances as the approach method, so people just don't operate in that manner, in the main).
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