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Can anyone out there give me some advice about a long distance relationship?

RiskiiDingo

Hey guys. I was looking for a bit of advice about a long distance relationship.

Can any of you out there share your experiences about the subject with me? Especially advice if you are IN a long distance relationship and how you are making it work.

I've been with my girlfriend now for 6 months. Shes been here to see me and I've been to France to see her too and things are unbelievable when we're together. Lately though I'm struggling to find a good work-visit balance (I left my job to visit her in France for 2 months over the summer and I'm looking for a new job). Can anyone out there tell me what works and what doesn't.

Any advice on this topic will be greatly appreciated and will be of GREAT value to me

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Wibbs

Stan27 wrote: »

I did the whole ldr with a French girl for a year and a half. Worked very well until relationship naturally fell apart.
If it's ment to be , it's ment to be.

Hard work but worth it if it goes well.
I'd never regret it.

I suspect this is how the OP's narrative will play out. A cherished memory of young "exotic" love with a French girl, that she and it gets better in the memory and the telling in the years to come. And that's cool too.

Wibbs

Widdershins wrote: »

If you were looking for discouragement, you've come to the right place, OP. I know a happily married couple of over 10 years who lived further apart and one of them already had children when they met. And an ex husband.

Yep, because generally speaking older people will make more compromises. Or at least different compromises. They'll make more effort as they have fewer choices as a general rule. A divorced woman with kids would have far fewer choices than the same woman minus that baggage. The OP and his girlfriend appear to be of college age(she's a student and he can take months off from his job) and that's a different ballgame entirely.

Widdershins

If you were looking for discouragement, you've come to the right place, OP. I know a happily married couple of over 10 years who lived further apart and one of them already had children when they met. And an ex husband.

Wibbs

At six months you're both in the yay, excitement! phase. Well inside the honeymoon phase. This phase tends to be stretched out more with long distance/"foreign" relationships(up to three years as a general guideline, more like 18 months if you're living on top of each other). The novelty helps there. It's all more "cuter". That will end and it's how you both navigate it that will mean success or failure.

At some point you're going to have to decide which of you is going to move to be with the other. Or you break up. That point is reached at different times for different couples, but that would be the trajectory in the vast majority of such couplings.

Stan27

I did the whole ldr with a French girl for a year and a half. Worked very well until relationship naturally fell apart.
If it's ment to be , it's ment to be.

Hard work but worth it if it goes well.
I'd never regret it.

MRnotlob606

I was in a long distance relationship, after work we would do run 400 metre sprints at the local race track until the tramp bet me.

y0ssar1an22

long distance relationship eh? How long are you?

Rob32

If you need to ask, youre clearly not certain on the situation imho

Shint0

Long distance relationships = lots of phone and Skype 'chats'.

Tigger

Thing I'll say is just go with it, this is your life and it becomes your memories
This will either be the story of how ye stayed together despite distance or it will be the story of how your heart was broken by a French girl
But it will be your story
What's that quote ?
The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation

Yeah be the guy with the interesting story

RiskiiDingo

corner of hells wrote: »

Have you about joining the FRench Foreign Legion ?
You might be based near her or in Africa .

I wouldn't say they'd have much use of a skinny music type unfortunately

corner of hells

Have you about joining the FRench Foreign Legion ?
You might be based near her or in Africa .

RiskiiDingo

johnayo wrote: »

Does she speak English, I'm hoping not. That would be interesting.:D

Oh yeah she's fully fluent thank god haha

RiskiiDingo

Tigger wrote: »

My mate was in a long distance relationship Spain-Ireland for years
They got married and have two kids so in my experience they do
However both were in their 30s
I used to love seducing girls when I was in college that had boyfriends back home cos you didn't have to go out with them after .
This was 20 years ago before tinder
You people don't know you are born

That's good to hear. Yes I'm really hoping to be one of the success stories!

Thanks for sharing!

johnayo

RiskiiDingo wrote: »

Its defiantly something I would consider. Not move in directly to her house but get a job somewhere in the region. Only thing is that I can't speak French very well :c

Does she speak English, I'm hoping not. That would be interesting.:D

RiskiiDingo

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

A friend of mine had a long distance relationship with a French girl. It was too hard, so he moved over there to be with her. He stayed for 3 years and in that time was never able to find a job. They were living in a studio apartment and she was working all the time while he spent all his time trying to learn French and find work. In the end, living on top of one another on a small income and him nosediving into depression led to him leaving her and coming home. Didn't seem like fun times at all.

Although I went to visit them for a few days and she had an itinerary and showed us all the sights, and took us to some wonderful restaurants. So it worked out well for me.

Yes I absolutly see this happening to me if I don't play my cards right. But I Ddefinatly don't want to do NOTHING at all if you get me. Thanks for sharing!

Tigger

Your Face wrote: »

In my experience, long-distance relationships dont work.

My mate was in a long distance relationship Spain-Ireland for years
They got married and have two kids so in my experience they do
However both were in their 30s
I used to love seducing girls when I was in college that had boyfriends back home cos you didn't have to go out with them after .
This was 20 years ago before tinder
You people don't know you are born

Maximus Alexander

A friend of mine had a long distance relationship with a French girl. It was too hard, so he moved over there to be with her. He stayed for 3 years and in that time was never able to find a job. They were living in a studio apartment and she was working all the time while he spent all his time trying to learn French and find work. In the end, living on top of one another on a small income and him nosediving into depression led to him leaving her and coming home. Didn't seem like fun times at all.

Although I went to visit them for a few days and she had an itinerary and showed us all the sights, and took us to some wonderful restaurants. So it worked out well for me.

RiskiiDingo

0lordy wrote: »

Absence makes the heart wander

I'm not worried about that. I mean I wouldn't be in a situation like this if I did worry about such things. But I know what you mean...

0lordy

RiskiiDingo wrote:

In what way?

Absence makes the heart wander

RiskiiDingo

Your Face wrote: »

Its more the time apart you should be thinking about.

In what way?

Your Face

RiskiiDingo wrote: »

No in this day in age I refuse to believe that. Its only 32 quid for a return ticket plus 60 for bus tickets. Its not too bad. Its more of a time management thing....

Its more the time apart you should be thinking about.

RiskiiDingo

Your Face wrote: »

In my experience, long-distance relationships dont work.

No in this day in age I refuse to believe that. Its only 32 quid for a return ticket plus 60 for bus tickets. Its not too bad. Its more of a time management thing....

Your Face

In my experience, long-distance relationships dont work.

Surreptitious

RiskiiDingo wrote: »

Its defiantly something I would consider. Not move in directly to her house but get a job somewhere in the region. Only thing is that I can't speak French very well :c

Hey calm down! No need to get het up.

RiskiiDingo

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

Since you don't have a job, have you considered getting one in France?

Its defiantly something I would consider. Not move in directly to her house but get a job somewhere in the region. Only thing is that I can't speak French very well :c

Badly Drunk Boy

Since you don't have a job, have you considered getting one in France?

Surreptitious

RiskiiDingo wrote: »

"Has she come visit you? As it sounds very much one way according to what you wrote above. "

Yes. When she was on summer break she was over twice. There's no slacking in her department at all now I must say...

Give good head does she? You know women can do that in Ireland too.

I'm not offering btw.

Mr. FoggPatches

Invent a teleportation device. But don't let a fly in there. I know that sounds trivial and unimportant, but, believe me, it is paramount.

RiskiiDingo

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Does anyone have a crazy amount of time to spend in airports? I like people watching in Gatwick South as much as the next man, but I wouldn't go out of my way to do it

I think its worth it for me to do this as things stand. She's a good girl; not many of those around!