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Child Item

Skid Marks

mud

I always believed that skid marks were the province of young children and the elderly, however, the scales have fallen from my eyes after a visit with a friend.

She was sorting out laundry while we were chatting and I couldn't help but notice actual sh1t on some underwear.

Before I could stop myself I exclaimed "wtf is that"? And she just laughed and said: "oh that's x, I'm always washing his underpants, ha ha, men!". I asked her if he had some kind of medical condition and she said no, most men leave skids.

Now, I've lived with several men over the years, family, friends, lovers and strangers and I've never seen skids on their clothes.

How the hell can someone be so unclean as to leave enough faeces on their bum-bum that it transfers to their clothing which then needs to be steeped and scrubbed before washing?

Am I very innocent in that I find that unacceptable? That I would be long gone if anyone hale and hearty left themselves and their clothes in that condition?

What even causes them? Is it not wiping your arse properly or wtf?

My friend reckons they are common, that her Da and brothers always had skid marks.

I'm sickened and freaked out.

TLDR Are skids as common as my friend seems to think or does she just know filthy people?

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nullzero

Buckfast W wrote: »

Bit different, but I know someone who sits on the Jax sideways and utterly destroys it, apparently thats how all the kids in the family were taught when they were younger. :eek:

They sh1te side saddle?
Do they do everything sideways or just that?

Stealthfins

There's no excuse for that,I'm a man and it's relatively cheap to buy moisturiser in a supermarket and give it a nice cosmetic finish....
It easily fits in one's pocket,little tube from lidel does the trick.

You should see my gardens not a weed in sight .

Lol skid marks and not being hygienic down there leaves you with an itchy arse,yeuch....imagine actually rubbing the dirt into one's jocks....

Yeuch....

LordSutch

Skid marks.

1st thing I thought of was boy racers doing doughnuts ...

spurious

LordSutch wrote: »

Skid marks.

1st thing I thought of was boy racers doing doughnuts ...

That's not necessarily ruled out by this thread, though more chocolate logs than doughnuts.

mad muffin

The hallmark of a scratch n sniffer…

Buckfast W

nullzero wrote: »

They sh1te side saddle?
Do they do everything sideways or just that?

They ****e side saddle alright, mate walked in on them before he couldn't believe it.
To make matters worse the person tried explaining that that was the right way of doing it. :eek:

Chancer3001

I leave skid marks all the time

Assumed 3verybody did

[Deleted User]

Don't get them myself and can think of two girls who are grossed out by them, say they don't get them etc. but I've seen that they do. :pac:

Ronald Wilson Reagan

biko wrote: »

If I ever did skidmarks on underwear they wouldn't go into the washing machine, they'd go into the trash/fire.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oboSU668WKU

Stone Deaf 4evr

http://awesomegifs.com/wp-content/uploads/parks-and-recreation-sometimes-when-i-poop-andy.gif

Mena Mitty

Roger Mellie Man on the Telly wrote: »

My crack sweats. The sweat 'holds' some juice which needs to be cleaned off periodically. I use a facecloth to really deep clean the area.

Too much info there Roger. I'd blame the soap personally. I suppose Silcock's base is outta the question.

TerrorFirmer

uch wrote: »

Look I scutter about 4 times a day, as most lads I know do, I also have the equivalent of Tom Selleck's moustache between me cheecks, as a lot of lads do, we don't have lovely tidy holes like ladies, so inevitably we get a couple of Guinness stains in our knicks

If you can't be bothered to wipe your big hairy arse properly after all or one of your quarterly daily dumps, that's grand, but don't for a second think that most men are leaving curry stains in their jocks or that's it's normal. It's absolutely rank. The amount of people in this thread who seem to think that leaving **** stains in your jocks is just normal.

Is it really that difficult to just wipe your arse?

Sgt Hartman

A great way to stop skidmarks from occurring

https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-8f7UngMB3vA/Ujr7tA0cngI/AAAAAAAAJz8/zvPLeyfTRP4/w800-h800/Clag-gone.png

Esel

As a previous poster said - why do people wear underwear? To contain the stain.

Ship happens. Not for one second do I believe that one person on this thread has never had some brown on their cacks.

Maybe the guy in the OP gets a lot of wedgies in work?

Any how about thongs - can't see them being pristine every time.

It is true that some people are lax in the wiping phase... A guy who worked with my da years ago *never* wiped - he just crimped. I got a summer job there once, and the bang off him was cruel. Luckily no-one had to be near him apart from tea break and lunch time. A lot of matches were struck. Pipes were smoked.

tupenny

Esel wrote: »

A

It is true that some people are lax in the wiping phase... d.

Lax 😂😂😂what u did I observed

StringerBell

Buckfast W wrote: »

Bit different, but I know someone who sits on the Jax sideways and utterly destroys it, apparently thats how all the kids in the family were taught when they were younger. :eek:

Post of the day

Made me do my real laugh which for an internet message board is quite the achievement!

cbyrd

Do farts have lumps???

spurious

Esel wrote: »

Any how about thongs - can't see them being pristine every time.

Oh God. Cannot. Be. Unread.

Renegade Mechanic

cbyrd wrote: »

Do farts have lumps???

Can do.. Which is why love is like one.
If you have to force it, it's probably shít...

ZeroThreat

I reckon the next thread up will be a thread about jizz marks in the front ...

policarp

ZeroThreat wrote: »

I reckon the next thread up will be a thread about jizz marks in the front ...

Not quite, but do wear brown pants.

KKkitty

Between the constipation thread and this one Boards is gone to sh1t.

yabadabado

Buckfast W wrote: »

They ****e side saddle alright, mate walked in on them before he couldn't believe it.
To make matters worse the person tried explaining that that was the right way of doing it. :eek:

I know a fella who used to **** facing the cistern :eek:

Surreptitious

yabadabado wrote: »

I know a fella who used to **** facing the cistern :eek:

Hahaha. Come on ta feck. Did he have a bucket behind him.

Duff

yabadabado wrote: »

I know a fella who used to **** facing the cistern :eek:

That's known as 'The A.C Slater'.

KKkitty

Duff wrote: »

That's known as 'The A.C Slater'.

Should that not be W.C. Slater

vibe666

in some cultures, it's considered 'unclean' to touch a toilet seat with your ar$e. these are the places that usually have the old school european/arabic shower cubicle type toilet with raised foot pads to stand on and a giant plug hole for you to squat and do a luke skywalker death star run on, which (incidentally) is next to impossible if you weren't raised to use them.

when faced with a regular toilet, these people will usually still squat in the same fashion, off the ground balancing their feet on the top sides of the rim of the bowl.

this is something i wish i never discovered, as i walked into a toilet cuble at work when i was about 20 and noticed (due to the stall doors being quite high off the ground) the door was locked, but there was nobody in it (due to a lack of feet). thinking i'd be doing a public service by unlocking the door for my fellow colleagues, i (just in case) went to do a quick double check by leaning down from a distance to make sure someone hadn't just lifted their feet up (not sure why), only to catch a dude in this ninja type squatting position 'mid-turtleshead' complete with twig and giggleberries on full view. it's a mental scar i shall never be rid of.

vibe666

as for skids, it's not all that uncommon for people with poor diets who eat a lot of junk food, so if you do have that problem or know someone who does, look at what you/they are eating. what goes in has a direct effect on what comes out.

kowloon

Anyone remember Flutt? He would have loved this thread.

The_Valeyard

vibe666 wrote: »

this is something i wish i never discovered, as i walked into a toilet cuble at work when i was about 20 and noticed (due to the stall doors being quite high off the ground) the door was locked, but there was nobody in it (due to a lack of feet). thinking i'd be doing a public service by unlocking the door for my fellow colleagues, i (just in case) went to do a quick double check by leaning down from a distance to make sure someone hadn't just lifted their feet up (not sure why), only to catch a dude in this ninja type squatting position 'mid-turtleshead' complete with twig and giggleberries on full view. it's a mental scar i shall never be rid of.

Ewwwww!!!!!!! :pac:

Great post though.