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Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Boring username

What sets your alarm bells ringing that someone is a bit of an arsehole? For me, there are a handful of things that almost always ring true (although there have been very, very rare exceptions in general.)

1. Wearing a trendy Palestinian type scarf. Always a major indicator that a know it all, insufferable bore is about to lecture you with their 'right on' views of the world. Sometimes accompanied by a neckbeard and general scruffiness.

2. A cokehead. I don't think I ever met a cokehead who wasn't a prick. It really is a great way of identifying a jumped up big time wannabe. Avoid.

3. Any of that corporate speak i.e. "going forward, we'll touch base, from the get-go, out of the ballpark etc".

You are cordially invited to vent you rage and misgivings in your own words.

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EagererBeaver

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Met a guy today wearing an 'proud to be a vegan' badge. Later told me I must enjoy eating rotten flesh.

C*nt.

Should have told hom you haven't been anywhere near his wife/girlfriend's rott....

I'll stop there.

waraf

FISMA. wrote: »

Dublin accent.

Loike South Dublin roight? Totes!

Widdershins

SpaceSasqwatch wrote: »

I have done even more research than that...and its nearly always BMW owners too.****

Wouldnt mind but I love BMW's , the way they drive , looks and other stuff but I'd be afraid if I bought one I'd turn into a tosser as well.So Im stuck in a ford Ka.

The recent knife attack was ended by the judicious use of a BMW. Ultimate Driving Machine !

Widdershins

Men in feminist groups .

osarusan

Tossers who park across two or sometimes over even 4 spaces in a carpark.

peteeeed

if you wear a bandana , john lennon shades , tight shorts and you're a man

peteeeed

waraf wrote: »

Loike South Dublin roight? Totes!

or the duuubalin one

The_Valeyard

Widdershins wrote: »

Men in feminist groups .

How about men speaking on behalf of feminists?

Widdershins

The_Valeyard wrote: »

How about men speaking on behalf of feminists?

Too confusing

DrPhilG

Sgt Hartman wrote: »

People who eat when they're in the middle of a phone conversation. It's ignorant and revolting!!

I have and always will hang up on anyone doing that. Without explanation.

I have done this to my wife in the past. She has learned.

ohnonotgmail

The_Valeyard wrote: »

How about men speaking on behalf of feminists?

well that would make them a patronising tosser.

That_Guy

People who light up a cigarette at a sporting event. Inconsiderate wankerish behaviour on every level.

Birneybau

peteeeed wrote: »

if you wear a bandana , john lennon shades , tight shorts and you're a man

Axl Rose in the late 80s/early 90s? Very specific

bigpink

That "Bro " look guys thats only work upper body backwards cap tight shorts tough guy but looks gay look

xabi

**** who make no effort to allow you to pass each other when you meet on a tight path, even though you do a little side shimmy to avoid a collision.

Brendan Bendar

bigpink wrote: »

That "Bro " look guys thats only work upper body backwards cap tight shorts tough guy but looks gay look

:eek:

Nobody in tight shorts could look tough!

Backwards cap notwithstanding.

bigpink

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

:eek:

Nobody in tight shorts could look tough!

Backwards cap notwithstanding.

Its part of the irony or closet gay id say

Brendan Bendar

bigpink wrote: »

Its part of the irony or closet gay id say

:eek:

You are not inferring from the post that.....;). sssssteady!

LunarSea

That_Guy wrote: »

People who light up a cigarette at a sporting event. Inconsiderate wankerish behaviour on every level.

Anyone that smokes in public, especially the ***** that blow smoke in yer general direction.

[Deleted User]

The Parnell Beard, with or without accompanying flat cap.

[Deleted User]

Posters asking an OP "what did you think yourself OP?"

They don't actually care about the OPs opinion, they're just dishing out a little online slap on the wrist

Brendan Bendar

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

The Parnell Beard, with or without accompanying flat cap.

Very good call Ty.

B.A._Baracus

Widdershins wrote: »

Men in feminist groups .

Anytime I see someone like that I almost want to say 'so did it hurt when you cut off your own balls, mate?' :pac:

[Deleted User]

People subconsciously trying to be like Americans with the "Repeal the 8th" faux outrage.

LunarSea

Deleted User wrote: »

People subconsciously trying to be like Americans with the "Repeal the 8th" faux outrage.

Care to explain that more clearly?

retalivity

bigpink wrote: »

That "Bro " look guys thats only work upper body backwards cap tight shorts tough guy but looks gay look

Anyone over the age of 12 wearing a baseball cap deserves a slap in the face. 2 slaps if it is on backwards

TSMGUY

People who vote Trump.
People who use the word libtard.
People who support Hilary as anything other than the lesser of two evils.
People who vote UKIP.
People who vote for the Green Party.
A vegan who lets you know they're vegan the first time you meet them.
People who take selfies where they do that squinty thing that they think looks sexy but actually makes them look like massive bellends.
99% of bouncers.
OH, AND PEOPLE WHO SAY "GOOGLE IS YOUR FRIEND" CAN **** RIGHT OFF.

Strumms

The number of stupid ****ing 'I have a question' threads started on various forums on boards where the OP would find the answer with a 5 second Google search without spending the time coming on here and posting a new topic about it that nobody has an iota of interest in suggests that more people should let google be their friend.. Wánkers.

Stuff like....

Do Aer Lingus fly to XXX
Where can I park at xxx location
I have an issue with my travel agent, what should I do ? *call them you cūnt*

Also posters who never actually help or contribute opinions or ideas to threads instead use boards as a human crutch to ask questions and look for the most basic information that is out there in the world of the Internet... Such as what is the nearest Supervalue to me.... One post later.....sorry should have mentioned I live in Balbriggan... wánkers all.

cantdecide

"Don't go there".

Usually a completely unhelpful thing to say.

TheBiz

People who complain about being upset but never actually say why they're upset.

Gobshh1tes who feel the need to walk like they are made of stone, move your shoulders your not that big!