daisydotty81 wrote: » Well it's over. He says I've put too much doubt in his head about the future. He said if we were to get back together then he'd be continuously doubting that I won't ever be ready and maybe turn around and say no I don't want to marry you. I understand that. He doesn't understand I'm simply not ready. So I'm devastated and heartbroken.
Ignatius in bloom wrote: » Although hurting look at it this way way he saved you a lot of hell in the future. Might not be a bad idea to do some soul searching and figure out what you want from a relationship and why you pick men who put you through pain.
Givepuzzles wrote: » That's very harsh. How was she to know he would act like this? He seemed to have her parents fooled too!
batmanrobin wrote: » I'm sorry that you're hurting, OP. However, I think you're actually very lucky to see him now for who he is. That bit where he said ye didn't need to talk about marriage and kids and could sort it out after the fact, well that is just insane thinking! And incredibly immature actually. He was so consumed with what he wanted that it doesn't sound like he actually gave any thought to you or your feelings. He doesn't seem to have cared about the fact that you might not be ready. I really hope you don't blame yourself for this ending and don't beat yourself up. This is entirely on him. He chose to go ahead even after what your parents said. He didn't think it appropriate to speak to you, would could have been his future wife, about where you were at or what your thoughts about marriage and children were. It was all about him. Personally I think you've dodged a bullet. You sound like a very honest, decent woman. You deserve someone on the same wavelength as you and who will respect you enough to engage with you about these things. Look after yourself xx[/quote Thanks for that message. I've a million thoughts going around in my head and you really nailed it on the head. I was honest to myself and to him and what I'm seeing is a quite immature and stubborn person and that certainly is someone I do not want to marry. Big bullet dodged. In fact I'm regretting trying to work things out with him this morning. He didn't deserve that.
Rekop dog wrote: » The way you've painted it it all reads badly on him but as ever we're only ever seeing one side of the story. What I find a little strange is that throughout the thread the thing you seem to be fearing most is being single at your age, being back at the parents and such things. Aside from the "I love hims" you've not particularly gone into any details about what you'd miss about him or the good things in your relationship. Is there a chance you were kind of settling for him and he picked up on this and the rejected proposal (rightly or wrongly) further enforced this in his mind? I mean it's hard for you to admit that at this stage of the thread but I'm finding it hard to believe his level of overreaction was purely based on a "not now".
Yellow pack crisps wrote: » You seem lovely OP and all though you probably feel devastated and hurt I think when you realise you were close to making the same mistake twice then I think you will heave a big sigh of relief and I also think you will find an amazing guy in the future who will give you all the things you deserve and need. I think I speak for everyone here when I say that the way you handled this has been a beautiful act of courage and understanding and the fact that you were able to put anger and haste to one side was remarkable and shows the debt to your character. onwards and upwards and the very best of luck.
