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Cant pull

  • 12-10-2008 12:48pm
    #1
    half_life_man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 154 ✭✭


    Ok here's my problem, every time I'm on a night out I find it really hard to get stuck into a girl. I can talk to them alright but its just hard to kiss them. I get really nervous when she starts getting flirty and I find it hard to flirt back. I'm sick of being asked every week if I pulled on a night out. It's real embarrassing when ya don't. Any tips would be appreciated.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Ok, well I would think the 1st thing you have to do is figure out what exactly you are nervous of... then you can work on that. What exactly is it? Intimacy, doing something wrong, expectations etc.


  • #3
    Rockshamrover
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,472 ✭✭✭Rockshamrover


    Try not to get so anxious about it. The very fact that you have got to the point where a girl wants to kiss you has to be a good thing.

    Just relax and enjoy it.


  • #4
    c - 13
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,584 ✭✭✭c - 13


    half_life_man wrote: »
    Ok here's my problem, every time I'm on a night out I find it really hard to get stuck into a girl. I can talk to them alright but its just hard to kiss them. I get really nervous when she starts getting flirty and I find it hard to flirt back. I'm sick of being asked every week if I pulled on a night out. It's real embarrassing when ya don't. Any tips would be appreciated.

    Your putting yourself under pressure. People generally don't work at their best under pressure.

    Dont go out with the aim of trying to "pull" - it sends the brain off on desperate paths - you think way too much and over-analyse situations, makes you tense etc.

    Go out with the aim to just enjoying yourself, if something is going to happen women can spot the guy who is genuinely enjoying himself and the guy desperately trying to pull and guess which one they tend to gravitate towards ?

    If any of your friends are giving you gyp becasue of it just laugh it off and make a jokey comment like "ah there was no one there I liked the look of" etc.

    I'm guessing (hoping) ye're quite young ?


  • #5
    FX Meister
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,217 ✭✭✭FX Meister


    Getting stuck into a girl is hardly how you should describe it. Just flirt back, if she's into it then it'll work. If you don't try you can't win and other such cliches.


  • #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    half_life_man wrote: »
    I'm sick of being asked every week if I pulled on a night out.

    The OP has a point.. come on here and everyone is so understanding.. and its ok to be single... get to know the girl... just have fun, enjoy yourself... you'll meet someone etc.etc...

    But in the real world it's more like.. did you shift her?, did ye get stuck in there?, did you throw her a dart?...

    try tellin the lads about the connection you made with some girl while travelling, or the girl u buzzed around with the whole weekend of a festival.. (u may or may not have slept with them but if you dont pull randomers in clubs with the lads they treat you like you've six heads

    even the auld lads.. are ye mottin yet?? (i find it mostly comes from two types of lads, firstly the ones who have been in a long term relationship since 9y/o, and secondly from total mansluts)


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  • #7
    D-Generate
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,945 ✭✭✭D-Generate


    OP has asked this question or similar ones many, many times before and always gets given the same advice. So either everyone's advice is terrible, in which case we must all be loners, or else he is not taking the advice. Stop being needy, stop being desperate. Be confident and act like you don't need a girl hanging off you for the night and that's how you end up with girls vying for your attention. Its odd how it works but it does.


  • #8
    tdc
    Closed Accounts Posts: 888 ✭✭✭tdc


    D-Generate wrote: »
    OP has asked this question or similar ones many, many times before and always gets given the same advice. So either everyone's advice is terrible, in which case we must all be loners, or else he is not taking the advice. Stop being needy, stop being desperate. Be confident and act like you don't need a girl hanging off you for the night and that's how you end up with girls vying for your attention. Its odd how it works but it does.

    +1 just act confident. be confident in how you look before you go out, do a ron burgundy and just look in the mirror and say "mmmm...i look good" etc. when youre with a girl in the club, just talking, act as if this is the norm, dont be shy, talk and just relax. OP never explained why he gets nervous but im guessing its just because its a fit bird? in any case, when they flirt, you flirt back, let them chase you but dont get to the point where you act as if youve no interest in her.


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