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If you can't laugh at yourself.......

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  • 07-08-2005 10:56pm
    #1
    steviem
    Closed Accounts Posts: 190 ✭✭


    An Irishman applies for a job, but the foreman won't employ him until he passes a little maths test.

    "Here's your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers represent the number 9."

    "Without numbers?" the Irishman says, "Dat is easy." and proceeds to draw three trees.

    "What's this?" the boss asks.

    "Haven't you got a brain? Tree and tree and tree makes nine," says the Irishman.

    "Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Apply the same rules using the number 99, this time."

    The Irishman stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Dere you go."

    The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

    "Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat equals 99."

    The boss starts getting worried that he's actually going to have to give the Irishman the job, so he says, "All right, final question: same rules again, but represent the number 100."

    The Irishman stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture
    again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Dere
    you go. One hundred."

    The boss looks at the illustration and bursts out: "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"


    (Think you'll like this one.)











    Whereby the Irishman leans forward and points to the marks at the base
    of each tree, saying: "A little dog came along and crapped by each tree. So now you've got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, dat makes one hundred....


    So, when do I be starting the job?!"


Comments

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    #2
    D-Generate
    Registered Users Posts: 2,945 ✭✭✭D-Generate


    I'm loving it, as old JT would say.


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    #3
    airetam_storm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,301 ✭✭✭airetam_storm


    LOL, the irishman has very solid logic :)


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    #4
    joejoem
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,424 ✭✭✭joejoem


    replace the word Irish with black and you have yourselves an offensive racist joke


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    #5
    zAbbo
    Registered Users Posts: 11,987 ✭✭✭✭zAbbo


    how do you work that one out?


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    #6
    Megatron
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,035 ✭✭✭Megatron


    joejoem wrote:
    replace the word Irish with black and you have yourselves an offensive racist joke

    no you don't have to move anything .. Racist doesn't mean you have to have a different skin colour to me , only that your are of a different "RACE" to me.


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    #7
    steviem
    Closed Accounts Posts: 190 ✭✭steviem


    joejoem wrote:
    replace the word Irish with black and you have yourselves an offensive racist joke

    Saw THIS
    and thought of you.


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    #8
    Cake Fiend
    Registered Users Posts: 5,335 ✭✭✭Cake Fiend


    joejoem wrote:
    replace the word Irish with black and you have yourselves an offensive racist joke

    Replace the stick in your ass with a non-rigid item of your choice and you have yourself a sense of humour.


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    #9
    StupidLikeAFox
    Registered Users Posts: 7,700 ✭✭✭StupidLikeAFox


    Hes right though. Any irish person offended by that would be accused of lacking a sense of humour, if it was told with a black man it isnt politically correct. Not so much this one but most other irishman jokes anyway. Nothing to lose sleep over all the same.

    For the record, i wouldnt care if it was a black man in it or an irish man, a jokes a joke.


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    #10
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    I don't like Irish jokes as a rule as I believe them to be racist.

    All the following can be racist terms but are not always recognised as such Paddy, Mick, Seamus, Murphy, ****** guess which word was auto censored? It begins with an "n".

    Nevertheless the joke was funny.
    The accent had to be Irish to make "dirty tree and a turd" work.


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    #11
    Megatron
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,035 ✭✭✭Megatron


    The thing is, if we had be subject to a long history of racist abuse and comments then this joke ( and yes it is a joke) would be offenise.

    just beacuse you would be told to lighten up doesn't make it any less racist.

    it's the same sort of crap that the Irish had to put up with while in England over the years.

    I did some research for a Documentary about this, the amount of people who did go the police and got told " It can't be racial abuse becasue your white".

    it doesn't cut it, same way the easter europeans get such stick over here now reminds me alot of it.

    Acceptable Racism i think is what i refered to it as in my notes.
    It still makes me sick .... but you do want to comment on anything that i've said, please do so in the humanites thread i'm about to put up.


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    #12
    joejoem
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,424 ✭✭✭joejoem


    I created a monster


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    #13
    Megatron
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,035 ✭✭✭Megatron


    See more of the monster at :

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=287809


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    #14
    stevoslice
    Registered Users Posts: 1,007 ✭✭✭stevoslice


    did anyone even bother to read the thread title?
    its an irish board, i'm sure people of other races have jokes of themselves too!!! have you ever seen little britain!


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    #15
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    For added racist content read the joke again.

    Nobody has mentioned that the foreman is trying to refuse the man the job just becuse he is Irish and subjects him to demeaning tests to which, no doubt, other applicants aren't subjected. Now that's racism without doubt.

    The argument that this is an Irish Boards carries no weight as people of many nationalities read and post here.


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    #16
    roberteboot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 238 ✭✭roberteboot


    This truly is ridiculous.Cheer up lads.


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    #17
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    What's white and comes out in summer?
    Paddy O'Furniture.


    Now that's a non racist Paddy Joke. Pity it's not funnier


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    #18
    sceptre
    Registered Users Posts: 19,608 ✭✭✭✭sceptre


    ColHol wrote:
    if it was told with a black man it isnt politically correct.
    Would it be different if it was a black man telling the joke about a black man?


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    #19
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    I was going to say something else here but what's the point?

    Bigotry and racial abuse will go on regardless of what I say unless I get angry enough to do something about it. When I do I'll let you know.


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    #20
    steviem
    Closed Accounts Posts: 190 ✭✭steviem


    Well all i can say is i totally apologise if i have offended anyone's sensitivity or beliefs.

    Well i could say that but instead, "Get a feckin life you bunch of saddos, it's a humour forum if you dont like it bugger of somewhere else and let those with a sense of humour have a laugh. You could always leave a message here or here and someone may give you the obvious help you need"


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    #21
    BioHazRd
    Registered Users Posts: 2,088 ✭✭✭BioHazRd


    I fail to see how any offence can be taken from the above joke. For starters if it is racist, the racism tag would be directed at the foreman, not the Irish man, because the Irish man is portrayed as the cleverer of the two. By definition a racist is someone who believes that other races are not as good as their own and therefore treats them unfairly. This would appear to be the attitude taken by the foreman. However, the race, colour, or creed of the foreman is not revealed, but it is certainly implied that he is not Irish.

    If you really wanted to get anal about this, this joke portrays a clever Irishman coping with a racist attitude directed at him by utilising his superior intellect.

    How the **** can you be offended by that ??

    Bio


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    #22
    biko
    Registered Users Posts: 81,223 ✭✭✭✭biko


    steviem wrote:
    So now you've got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, dat makes one hundred....

    That makes 99.9, not a hundred! So there... :p


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    #23
    Naos
    Registered Users Posts: 4,730 ✭✭✭Naos


    Holy ****.

    I thought as a nation we were meant to be great craic because we could have a laugh at ourselves? That jokes was funny, was was Hagars Paddy O Furniture one..

    Cheer up.


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    #24
    Naos
    Registered Users Posts: 4,730 ✭✭✭Naos


    biko wrote:
    That makes 99.9, not a hundred! So there... :p

    ..... Just spotted this. Tell me your joking and that comment was all in the spirit of this thread...


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    #25
    Amazotheamazing
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,048 ✭✭✭Amazotheamazing


    I feel oppressed, you have demeaned everything I stand for, it's racialists like you who ruin everything.


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