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Wife losing it - please help

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  • 24-08-2014 1:04am
    #1
    bergkamp77
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭


    Hi Gagetbloke,
    I suspect there are a lot of good fathers like you and I unfortunately in this situation you describe mainly as an indirect result of the recession job losses financial strees etc. I am married 11 yrs two children 8 and 2 was a truck driver lost my job in 2008 couldn't get any work so I decided to go back to education, came out in may of last yr with a degree but after making aprox, 200 + applications, no job, I sold a small piece of property I owned to finance this but its now gone. My wife is loosing her temper now on a weekly basis and saying rotten things to me, sorry not saying SCREAMING she also hits me sometimes, lately while driving on the m50 in traffic she turned on me screaming her head off frightened the life out of the little ones so they were crying and there was nowhere to stop the car in heavy traffic at 50 +mph, her temper is so bad that she hits me sometimes. As for time of the month its like going for an operation with me absolutely dreading it as she is overweight and her hormones are causing havoc, sometimes in the kitchen I am concerned for my safety with glass and knives etc. I am afraid to leave this marriage for fear of not seeing my children much as her home is in the city and where we live now is over 2 hrs drive away and this is where she will take my children. She is telling me she wants me to leave also but I cannot leave my kids. I would totally agree with the other people who have advised to get good legal advice before hand I am so sorry this is happening to you too and I wish you the very best of luck, god bless.


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    #2
    Taltos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Hi OP - I have split your post from the thread you posted in and have given you your own thread in RI.
    Hopefully you will get some useful advice here.

    Taltos


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    #3
    diveout
    Closed Accounts Posts: 746 ✭✭✭diveout


    From your post it is evident there is a pattern here. Aside from the obvious legal advice you need to get, what I think you should do first is pack a go away bag for you and your kids. Keep 2-3 days and nights of clothes in it and all your important documents and login/password info for you and the kids. Keep it accessible but hidden.

    The reason I say this is because it is likely that one day this will escalate, or that one of you will completely snap. You need a back up plan to get out quickly with a place to stay.

    That, and consider calling the police the next time it happens.


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    #4
    blueb
    Registered Users Posts: 279 ✭✭blueb


    wheres the rest of the thread MOD?
    how can he be helped without the original post?????


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    #5
    chinacup
    Registered Users Posts: 539 ✭✭✭chinacup


    blueb wrote: »
    wheres the rest of the thread MOD?
    how can he be helped without the original post?????

    The original post wasn't his..?


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    #6
    blueb
    Registered Users Posts: 279 ✭✭blueb


    where does thread start?


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    #7
    coffee_cake
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,309 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    Guys, the poster has been given his own thread because he has his own issue and needs advice.There's clearly enough background there to go on. If you need clarification on his background to try help him out you can always ask.

    Let's keep further posts on topic please, thanks


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    #8
    chinacup
    Registered Users Posts: 539 ✭✭✭chinacup


    OP I'm sorry to say but from what you've said this is abuse plain and simple. The fact that she can't or won't control her temper in front of the kids is worrying and poses a threat. The most important thing here is yours and your children's wellbeing, IMO I wouldn't delay in getting support or waiting until it escalates as an above poster suggested.

    It's an utter misconception that its just women who are abused in the home, just take a look at the statistics on here and OP please scroll down to the bottom for contacts, there is support available to you. You have the same rights whatever your gender. I'm sorry to hear what you've been through it sounds awful.

    http://www.cosc.ie/en/COSC/Pages/WP09000005


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    #9
    blueb
    Registered Users Posts: 279 ✭✭blueb


    sorry for confusion


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    #10
    JillyQ
    Registered Users Posts: 2,382 ✭✭✭JillyQ


    OP you need to get legal advice ASAP also try contacting Amen there website is www.amen.ie


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    #11
    castaway_lady
    Registered Users Posts: 268 ✭✭castaway_lady


    Aggression comes from frustration often. Have you actually attempted to discuss it with her and ask what's at the root of it for a start?
    This would give an indication as to whether its going to be possible to resolve it rationally or whether you're on a slippery slope or if she needs help or has any awareness of her extremes. Safety has to come first especially of the kids.


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