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  • 03-03-2011 11:25pm
    #1
    MOLLY1000
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭


    I ahve never done this before and am a bit worried that this is not the place to discuss my wows so please bare with me till I get the hang of it.

    I am 36 years old and feel so desperate and terrified about my life, it has steadily gone from bad to worse over the last 4 years and still everyday something else happens to knock me again.

    I have a big family but cant talk to them, there reply is always the same, "it will all work out eventually" and my friends especially my best friend has changed so much (or maybe its me that changed) and I know she says she is there for me but I dont feel that really unless she needs a babysitter for free.

    I am brooke (like the rest of the country I know) but I have been hungry all week as mortgage came out of bank and nothing left for food, I havent had heat on in 2 months cause of the cost of it. I have parked my car up and am walking everywhere cause I cant service, nct, tax or put petrol in my car. I cant worry my mother cause she suffers really bad from depression... I have contemplated ending it all cause I dont have the energy to pick myself up every day and try again and to others pretend all is ok. People in my life complain about no money and in next breath they are going on holidays, big nights out, shopping sprees and say they are broke, I say I am broke and I mean I cant buy food...... it really frustrates me. I always do for others babysit, pick things up etc. they have no time to listen to me, I know they cant fix anything, thats why I am here I need someone to talk to to listen to help me through with support.

    Oh I am going on and one, bottom line every day it gets harder and harderr to even bother trying anymore and I have no clue how to cope:mad:


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    #2
    Deepwell
    Registered Users Posts: 81 ✭✭Deepwell


    Your situation sounds really tough. You can't handle this on your own, you need someone you can talk with even if all the practical help they can provide is to listen.

    If you really feel like you can't confide in a family member then why not try one of the help agenices such as the SVP or the Samaritans, that gives you options if you want to stay anomymous.

    On a practical level have you talked with your mortage provider to see if you can arrange a payment holiday or reduced payments? If you can't afford to run your car then why not try and sell it, even if you have to let it go below market value having the extra bit of cash now is sure to help.

    When you are on your own, you can get tunnel vision where its hard other options - thats why its important to reach out to someone. Boards is ok to start but it sounds like you need some real hands on help.

    Best of luck.


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    #3
    mood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    Make an appointment with MAPS. They could give money advise re mortgage etc.

    How many rooms has your house/apt? You could rent out any spare rooms.


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    #4
    Permabear
    Closed Accounts Posts: 39,022 ✭✭✭✭Permabear


    This post has been deleted.


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    #5
    mood
    Registered Users Posts: 4,264 ✭✭✭mood


    Are you working? Have you approached you bank to ask to reduce the monthly repayments?


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    #6
    cantdecide
    Registered Users Posts: 11,465 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    I can add no more to the above other than show support and encourage you to do things you wouldn't know consider like talking to the agencies listed above along with your bank.

    You deserve better than this. There are things you can do to alleviate your problems but it may involve parking your ego and asking for help. You do need help afterall.

    Focus on the day when this is a dim and distant memory.


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    #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP you need to ask for help.

    It's not weakness or worrying people.It's life getting too much for you, and you need some help to get through this time.

    This will not magically sort itself out, you need to take the first step.

    Firstly go to MABS. Straight away. Or/and your bank.Tell them you're making your payments, but you're not eating/don't have heat/can't go anywhere as a result. Tell them you're doing your best but you need a bit of a breather.

    Next thing I think you should go see your GP, and tell them exactly what you've just written there. I don't know if you'd get away with walking in for free, but otherwise save up everything til you've got enough money for an appointment. They may suggest you go and see a counsellor, just for a couple of weeks until your head is in a better place. I've just been through a couple of counsellors myself recently, and most are operating a "sliding scale".....they know there are people out there who really need help and someone to talk to, but have no money or are unemployed. They don't advertise it, but a lot of them do it.

    4 years of that kind of thing is enough to run anyone into the ground. You need help OP, don't be afraid to ask for it.It's no reflection on you, and believe me, plenty of people are in the same position in today's society.


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    #8
    Messiahrevised
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3 ✭Messiahrevised


    Sorry, sorry in advance.....but have you considered help spelling? this might actually help a lot (and i dont mean this forum only) by putting your own ideas right and phrasing them.
    i will give you some tips, because this helped me a lot. sit down, write your worries down and then make a list of things you want to change and what you want to achieve. you need to know these things in order to find your own personality.


This discussion has been closed.
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