Church

josvill2010 · 10-01-2011 2:47pm #1

The priest in Kilmessan has asked for €350 for the usage of the church. I think this is a bit too much. Is there a way to get these fees reduced? I heard some people are paying nothing (especially if they get married in their local church- It is not our case). I though €100 would be enough to cover for the church. Does the church have set some fees at national level?
Thanks,
j

Diddler1977 · 10-01-2011 3:14pm

josvill2010 wrote: »

The priest in Kilmessan has asked for €350 for the usage of the church. I think this is a bit too much. Is there a way to get these fees reduced? I heard some people are paying nothing (especially if they get married in their local church- It is not our case). I though €100 would be enough to cover for the church. Does the church have set some fees at national level?
Thanks,
j

Why not shop around and see if any other local churches could do it cheaper.

The only way to get them reduced would be to ask the priest to reduce them?

Or get married in the registry office if you don't want to pay for the hire of the church and the services of the priest.

Toots · 10-01-2011 3:56pm

I've heard of people paying €500 to get married in a church that is not their parish church. From what I understood from talking to my priest, the idea is that if you're getting married in your own church, you'd be "attending mass every sunday" and most likely paying parish dues, which cover the upkeep of the church. If you're getting married somewhere else, a lump contribution is expected/required.

TBH the only way you'll get this lowered is by asking the priest, but I'd imagine they'd only do it for you in the case of financial hardship or something like that.

josvill2010 · 10-01-2011 6:44pm

Yeah I hear about 500 too. Our priest is coming to Dublin for the wedding but to pay on top of his 'fee', another €350 to the local priest is a bit excessive. We could be talking about €600.

How Strange · 10-01-2011 7:43pm

It might seem excessive to you but you want to hire out their 'venue' for your wedding and I presume you want to have the church for the whole day so you can decorate it etc. If you think about it like that then €350 seems fair enough but if you don't ask you won't get. Why not try and negotiate with your priest on his daily rate?

BC · 14-01-2011 10:57am

350 is not expensive.
its free if you get married in your local church, why not do that?

SSFG · 14-01-2011 9:07pm

Its not free to get married in your local church...

magneticimpulse · 15-01-2011 2:18am

When you think about how much people pay for hotels to have meals, and rent out the function room...i think 350 euro is nothing and i wouldnt exactly "bargain" down a Church. Its not like your shopping for a hotel venue. Like someone mentioned...its a place you worship in on a weekly basis throughout your life, I dont think a one off payment of 350 euro is asking too much.

Lighting, organ, heating, cleaning, people to prepare and clean the Church etc has to be paid in order for you to have it nicely laid out. I dont see why anyone would expect any of this to be free. The Church has running costs and bills to pay.

emarfrog · 15-01-2011 12:00pm

I think the op has identified something which is completely lacking in the church, which is very clear guidance and fairness across the board. Both myself and my fiancee have done the pre marriage course. It was alright. It did cost 120 euro. I have heard of friends of mine that did not have to do the pre marriage course. I have had such hassle over letters of freedom etc. It has been a pain to get them. The priest kept changing his mind as to where we needed them from and which parish was responsible for completing the pre nuptual inquiry. Now I don't know what to give the church or the sacristan or indeed the priest.
(we're getting married in my home town, but my parents no longer live there and the priest is from my finacee's home town and is a very close friend of the family). I have paid for the priest to stay at the hotel and of course he'll be involved in all the celebrations. I am going to particpate in church cleaning in the run up to the wedding. (there is a local group that clean the church)

At least with the state, the forms required were laid out and the fee was made explicit. This humming and hawing about money etc. regarding the church is so frustrating. At least if they developed a policy and it was fair and everyone had to pay the same and not be made feel mean or going ott and looking showy. The amount of rumours I've heard:

1. You need to give the sacristan at least €100
2. A contribution to the priest of at least €100 (any more is insulting, according to one source!)
3. And a further €100 for the use of the church.
4. Alterboys/Girls - €20 each (heard this from a couple at pre marriage course!)

I'm throwing this out there to see if we boards brides/grooms to be can come up with a useful guide to church and money! I also have one question: I don't agree with the alter servers thing can I request that there are none at our wedding?

mikemac · 16-01-2011 2:43am

A church and the parish have running costs. You want the place cleaned, heated and lighted, alterboys, possibly use of the organ and the use of the place for the day

You think 100 euro is reasonable but were happy to pay 1000 euro deposit for a hotel a few months ago

If you are a parishioner and using your local church many fees can be waived as you are active in the parish and contributing. Now, all you can do is ask

I don't know how people spend thousands on hotels and honeymoons and flinch at paying a few hundred for use of a church

Toots · 16-01-2011 1:35pm

We used our local church so there wasn't a charge for the use. Basically we were given a little leaflet when we booked which outlined what we could and couldn't do as regards decorating the church, music and using confetti. In the booklet it said that a contribution to the parish would be welcomed.

What we gave was:

Parish - €150
Priest - nice bottle of whiskey (cost about €80)
Sacristan - €50
Didn't have altar boys/girls. If we had, I'd say €10 each would be plenty.

My husband's mum does a lot of work in our local church and she was saying the reason the parish is reluctant to ask for set amounts in contributions is because it's supposed to be whatever people can afford. Some people genuinely can't afford that much.

I'm the last person to be defending the church, but I find it confusing that people will happily shell out thousands on dresses and hotels but get all uppity about having to give a couple of hundred for the actual ceremony.

BC · 16-01-2011 5:25pm

SSFG wrote: »

Its not free to get married in your local church...

It usually is.
Although most will expect a "donation", there usually is no set charge.

dunna · 20-06-2012 8:47pm

Wanted to bump this up!!
What is people paying their priest for weddings lately then???
p.s. I'm getting married in my local church and just wondered should I actually ask the priest or just give a contribution??
What have you paid your parish priest for your wedding??

McCloskey_A · 21-06-2012 7:54am

I was always told if I was unsure about the local church donation.. To ask the sacristan, they know everything about the local church and parish and not as awkward as approaching the priest directly!
Also we are donating 100 to the priest/ church and 20 to the sacrastin- which we were informed was adequate, but I think it depends heavily on the parish,

Sleepy · 21-06-2012 9:25am

Remember you're also promising them your first born!

Penny Dreadful · 21-06-2012 9:58am

dunna wrote: »

Wanted to bump this up!!
What is people paying their priest for weddings lately then???
p.s. I'm getting married in my local church and just wondered should I actually ask the priest or just give a contribution??
What have you paid your parish priest for your wedding??

I'm getting married this day next week (:):) keep fingers crossed for a dry day!!) in my local church. We're giving the priest €200 and €50 to the sacristan. As far as I know there are no alter servers.
I just asked the lady who works in the parish office if €200 was enough and she said it certainly was. Some give more some give less, it all depends on circumstances and the couple in question.
I'm happy with that amount of money.

Church

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