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24-01-2009, 07:01   #1
colrow
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Englishman Jokes

Tell us your Inglishman jokes
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24-01-2009, 09:46   #2
DylanS09
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What is the difference between an Englishman and his photograph?

The photograph is fully developed!
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24-01-2009, 18:06   #3
Matt Holck
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Quote:
Silver has devised a pair of glasses which rely on the principle that the fatter a lens the more powerful it becomes. Inside the device’s tough plastic lenses are two clear circular sacs filled with fluid, each of which is connected to a small syringe attached to either arm of the spectacles.

The wearer adjusts a dial on the syringe to add or reduce amount of fluid in the membrane, thus changing the power of the lens. When the wearer is happy with the strength of each lens the membrane is sealed by twisting a small screw, and the syringes removed. The principle is so simple, the team has discovered, that with very little guidance people are perfectly capable of creating glasses to their own prescription.
http://www.neatorama.com/2008/12/30/adjustable-glasses/
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24-01-2009, 22:59   #4
DanDan6592
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What????
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27-01-2009, 09:08   #5
FredH3as
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27-01-2009, 12:13   #6
Quazzie
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Why did the Englishman cross the road. To invade every possible country he could because they are all a shower of bastards
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04-03-2009, 22:34   #7
dara95
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knock kncok

whos there??

englishmen

Englishmen who?

english men love english men!!!

p.s they're gay
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04-03-2009, 23:46   #8
Queen-Mise
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any chance of a telephone number for this one, he is a fine thing
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05-03-2009, 05:13   #9
colrow
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any chance of a telephone number for this one, he has a fine thing
really queen-mise thats very lascivious of yourself, men aren't just lumps of meat
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05-03-2009, 05:44   #10
Pappa Dolla
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Why did the Englishman cross the road. To invade every possible country he could because they are all a shower of bastards

Why did the Englishman retreat?

Because they only served "Foreign food".
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05-03-2009, 06:18   #11
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There was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.

The Englishman was thinking: 'The Irish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.'

Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it.'

And the Irishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make that kissing noise again and give that English b**tard another slap'.
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05-03-2009, 07:24   #12
colrow
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There was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.

The Englishman was thinking: 'The Irish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.'

Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it.'

And the Irishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make that kissing noise again and give that English b**tard another slap'.
rotflmao
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05-03-2009, 11:03   #13
i heart chewy louie
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Tell us your Inglishman jokes
racist
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05-03-2009, 11:22   #14
colrow
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lol i is a inglishman
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05-03-2009, 14:21   #15
Turd Ferguson
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Why did the Englishman cross the road?


Spoiler: Because they're STUPID!!
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