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Nocturnal Commandments...

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  • 21-01-2009 10:46pm
    #1
    Doctor DooM
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 25,868 Mod ✭✭✭✭


    Spin off from the Nocturnal Bible thread!

    Reading back there were a few Nocturnal commandments mentioned in it.

    I want to make a list so people can live their lives as good little denizens of the night.

    If I like suggested ones, I'll edit them into this OP.

    So to start...

    Thou shalt not worship the false god of the flamey cancer ball.

    Thou shalt forget the time when you are playing video games.

    Thou shall not regret eating high sugar snacks at 4 am.

    Thou shalt not take the name of our lady Luna in vain.

    Thou shalt covet the milky pale skin of the undead.


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    #2
    Futurecrook
    Registered Users Posts: 6,869 ✭✭✭Futurecrook


    The Nocturnal Commandments as proclaimed by the almighty mods...

    1.     We are the Nocturnal mods, thy lords, which have brought thee out of the land of the burny cancer ball and into the land of darkness. Thou shalt have no other mods before us.

    2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that shelters not in the shadows or the darkness of night. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for we thy nocturnal mods, are jealous mods, visiting the iniquity of the nocturnals upon the mini-nocturnals unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate us; And shewing mercy (in the form of coke and hookers, tea and crumpets) unto thousands of them that love us, and keep our commandments. (Images of the most nocturnal of creatures, the almighty noxcat and lysander, howe'er doth please the mods.)

    3. Thou shalt not take the name(s) of the mods in vain; neither shalt thou bribeth Cult with refreshing beverages in exchange for namechangeth of thy mods; for the mods will not hold him guiltless that taketh their names in vain.

    4. Remember the darkness hours, to keep them holy. All day shalt thou sleep & labour, and do all thy work: But the night is the sabbath of the nocturnals: during these hours thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy fellow nocturnal's ma: For in dayligt hours with the curtains drawn did the mods amongst much procrastination make the nocturnal forum and all that in it is, and remained awake during the darkness, fuelled by caffeine and insomnia: wherefore the mods blessed the night, and hallowed it.

    5.Honour thy nocturnal nature: that thy nights may be long and caffeine-filled in the forum of darkness which the mods giveth thee.

    6.Thou shalt not kill any creature protected by the Nocturnal Forum Protection Act. Thou shalt kill zombies.

    7.Thou shalt not commit adultery in the forum. Taketh it unto PM.

    8.Thou shalt not steal thy fellow nocturnal's transformers collectibles nor hobnobs.

    9.Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy fellow nocturnal.

    10. Thou shalt not covet thy fellow nocturnal's ma nor any thing that is thy fellow nocturnal's.


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    #3
    Doctor DooM
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 25,868 Mod ✭✭✭✭Doctor DooM


    Thats awesome, FC. :)


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    #4
    Shiminay
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 28,633 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shiminay


    +1 to FC's list.

    I was going to make some sorta joke about climbing a mountain and receiving commandments from god, but I couldn't think of one that didn't break our innuendo rules...


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    #5
    orestes
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,972 ✭✭✭orestes


    Futurecrook wrote: »
    Thou shalt kill zombies.

    :mad:


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    #6
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    Futurecrook wrote: »
    3. Thou shalt not take the name(s) of the mods in vain; neither shalt thou bribeth Cult with refreshing beverages in exchange for namechangeth of thy mods; for the mods will not hold him guiltless that taketh their names in vain.
    :D:D:D


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    #7
    Handsome Bob
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,905 ✭✭✭✭Handsome Bob


    Futurecrook wrote: »
    10. Thou shalt not covet thy fellow nocturnal's ma nor any thing that is thy fellow nocturnal's.

    I'll try, but I'm not promising anything.:mad:


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    #8
    cyberwolf77
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 47,791 Mod ✭✭✭✭cyberwolf77


    I work during the night so I guess I will be violating #4 alot. Howsoever I do sleep the day away in my den of darkness.


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