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09-04-2008, 19:42   #1
anonymous_joe
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What's the best way to say sorry to someone?

I've been trying to be friendly to my ex. It wasn't a nice breakup for either of us, seen as we were really in love.

Anyways, we had an argument, and now we're not talking... What's the best way to say sorry? I was thinking I'd leave her alone a few days before I tried anything anyway.
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09-04-2008, 19:44   #2
spurious
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I'd leave it a lot longer than a few days - in some cases it can take years.
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09-04-2008, 19:45   #3
channaigh
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just say a simple sorry. i'm sorry
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09-04-2008, 20:04   #4
Miss Fluff
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Phone her and apologise.
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09-04-2008, 20:28   #5
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Just cool it for a while. Give it a week or two and then maybe give her a call if you think it absolutely necessary.
 
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09-04-2008, 20:29   #6
Toots
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Originally Posted by Miss Fluff View Post
Phone her and apologise.
Yeah, or if you really can't bring yourself to phone, send a text. Phoning would be better though.
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09-04-2008, 21:26   #7
estar
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leave her alone for a few years

be open to speaking to her if she makes an approach

but otherwise leave it
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09-04-2008, 23:13   #8
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It wasn't a nice breakup for either of us, seen as we were really in love.
Why break up if you were really in love? Why do you feel you have to be the one to apologise?
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09-04-2008, 23:22   #9
anonymous_joe
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Originally Posted by looptheloop View Post
Why break up if you were really in love? Why do you feel you have to be the one to apologise?
Because she was scared I wasn't giving her enouhg attention, and I didn't tell her in time that I was changing a few things in my life.

I need to apologise cause I said some nasty things to her. It's not all my fault, but I'm less stubborn. If I'm reasonable, I hope to at least stay friends.
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09-04-2008, 23:31   #10
Loopy
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Because she was scared I wasn't giving her enouhg attention, and I didn't tell her in time that I was changing a few things in my life.

I need to apologise cause I said some nasty things to her. It's not all my fault, but I'm less stubborn. If I'm reasonable, I hope to at least stay friends.

Sounds like you guys should give it another shot IMO. In the interim, I think pick up the phone and simply apologise for saying what you did. Its a hard thing to do but it will clear the air and you won't have it hanging over you.
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10-04-2008, 00:11   #11
anonymous_joe
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I'll need to bypass her new boyfriend.

No-one ever said she was smart.

At this stage, friendship is what matters to me. If an opportunity for anything else were to present itself I'd take it.
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10-04-2008, 01:12   #12
Wibbs
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I'll need to bypass her new boyfriend.
Ouch.
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No-one ever said she was smart.
Or as much in love with you as you thought, or she's using this guy to get over you, or she's using this guy to make you jealous, or she's plain emotionally incontinent. Cross off where applicable. You really want that flavour of batshít around you in your life?

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At this stage, friendship is what matters to me. If an opportunity for anything else were to present itself I'd take it.
The latter will ruin any chance of the former. Friendzone will not get her back, though lord knows why you would want her back TBH. Plus being her friend with ulterior motives means by definition you're not her friend and you're not taking her feelings into account. You only want what you want, not what she may require(this is of course if she's not a crazy loopjob. See above).

If you must apologise wait a week. Do it once. Tell her you don't want to rake over the coals and point out that you both know what was said was wrong. Just sorry and I truly wish you the best with your new life. Put phone down.

She'll respect you more and if there is any hope that will bolster it. If not at least you weren't emotionally incontinent. Death sentence in the eyes of most women.
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10-04-2008, 03:05   #13
Havermeyer
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Don't fecking call her to apologise. If you know where she lives go to her house and say sorry to her face. Phones suck balls in my opinion. Using a phone to apologise to someone you love is an extremely cowardly act. As stated above, maybe leave it a few days/weeks, whatever you think is necessary. Sorry for being blunt (if I am being) but apologies over the phone don't cut it, imo.

Best of luck, whatever you decide to do.
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10-04-2008, 08:06   #14
John Mason
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Do not apolgise in by way of a phone call, email and especially not a text message.

If you really cant see her face to face send a letter, its much more personal but i would say definately say it to her face.
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10-04-2008, 09:27   #15
anonymous_joe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wibbs View Post
Ouch.
Or as much in love with you as you thought, or she's using this guy to get over you, or she's using this guy to make you jealous, or she's plain emotionally incontinent. Cross off where applicable. You really want that flavour of batshít around you in your life?

The latter will ruin any chance of the former. Friendzone will not get her back, though lord knows why you would want her back TBH. Plus being her friend with ulterior motives means by definition you're not her friend and you're not taking her feelings into account. You only want what you want, not what she may require(this is of course if she's not a crazy loopjob. See above).

If you must apologise wait a week. Do it once. Tell her you don't want to rake over the coals and point out that you both know what was said was wrong. Just sorry and I truly wish you the best with your new life. Put phone down.

She'll respect you more and if there is any hope that will bolster it. If not at least you weren't emotionally incontinent. Death sentence in the eyes of most women.
Basically, if I do become her friend, then I know we'll have plenty of time to work around things.

She's not an emotional nutjob, but she's had some tough breaks, and she's slow to trust someone.
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