my unusual personality, can ANYONE relate to this

LegacyUser · 18-01-2008 1:14am #1

ill apologise in advance for the long post, you can just flick through it if you like,its not exactly a story just thoughts!!!!!
I hope this all makes sense to people. It might come off as unusual, its just me thinking out loud. Im just writing my thoughts down for myself and to see is theres anyone out there like myself. Im a very social, happy,quite good looking fella, ive a very normal big group of friends of all sorts. But I am very obsessive, EXTEREMLY up and down and i think very extreme thoughts. Throughout my teenage life i always believed something BIG was gonna happen to me, I dont know what.like i was gonna be famous or really rich or something. I still have that lingering and im in my mid twenties.

With regarding my obsessions, I have given certain hobbies my LIFE,at points I would stop talking to people and eat breath and 100% think about whatever im doing. Then I drop it, and thats the end of it, I could love something for years and within a month all my interest in it can be gone and i dont even look back at it.

I could establish myself as a very talented perosn in that field and out of nowhere thats the end of it. Heres my example... I was OBSESSED with writing a movie script for the past 2 years, seeing myself in the future as one of the great movie writers, working very hard on it, in the last month ive lost all interest, and am now obsessed with joining the army! I saw a few films, one thing led to another and now I cant get it out of my head. Im too old now for that but not for the navy.
Another thing is if i watch a film i really really like, i am like a child, i imagine myself as the main character or someone like it, i sometimes cant get it out of my head for days. and get REALLY pissed off if someone else doesnt like the film,haha.
I am very up and down also, i could be at stages where i dont want to talk to anyone, barely reply to texts, and just wanna crawl into myself and feel sorry for myself avoiding all converstations. Then Im the complete opposite, way too much energy, excercising, constantly enjoying other peoples money, full of ambition and can barely stop smiling walking down the road.Now overall im tackling this better and not avoiding calls etc.

I often think about suicide even though I NEVER will, its weird its not even me being depressed,its when im in a situation i dont want to be in. and overall i am quite content these days,but i often create these images in my head.On saying that I create really happy thoughts too like as if i am really successful (at whatever im obsessed with) just as often.

Sometimes my mind feels like its gonna explode with thoughts,good mood or bad mood! Sometimes i love it being this way,other times i dont so i can just get on with being thoughtless,and hence a better laugh, better with women etc.

The reason i posted this was to see if im normal and just way too aware of my thoughts? or am a bit of a day dreamer walter mitty type character with other issues. Anyone else like myself, not depressed as such just an extreme thinker.

Might i add im a bit of an actor, in terms of the fact that none of my friends think im weird, i dont act unusual in any physical way. And overall i can be often the first to make friends with people in new situations, not because im full of confidence because im very normal and i can get on with all types of people.

Esel · 18-01-2008 1:54am

Hard to tell from your post, and IANAD, but I am thinking maybe you are describing delusional / bipolar symptoms?

Have you spoken to a doctor or counsellor about how you feel/behave?

skelliser · 18-01-2008 2:20am

sounds like your suffering from depression.
also i think you have issues with acceptence. you want to be adored/loved by others, this is why you fantasize about being someone famous or successful.
do you feel like your drifting from hobby to hobby and/or thru life?

LegacyUser · 18-01-2008 2:27am

thanks for the response, i havent seen a doctor as sometimes i reckon im just thinking too much, and its as simple as that.But I have taken bipolar into account, so much as to do self tests with it on the net. I wouldnt take these tests seriously but just to see the results out of curiously. The results do come up as bipolar but the problem is the questions are too extreme and Its just 'yes' 'no' answers. I go for the yes,which makes me end up exagerating the results. I am probably better off talking to a doctor,but then sometimes I like the way i am which is weird I know.While its helped me achieve great things,It has helped me neglect things also.

Im not sure what you mean by delusional but I am definetly sane in terms of hallucinations etc. I dont ever believe anything thats not true(in a reality sense) or see/hear anything thats not there. I think up all the thoughts concsiously myself knowing its only my imagination.

PS with regard to my first post, i meant "constantly enjoying other peoples company" not "money" LOL,

wylo · 18-01-2008 2:47am

skelliser wrote: »

sounds like your suffering from depression.
also i think you have issues with acceptence. you want to be adored/loved by others, this is why you fantasize about being someone famous or successful.
do you feel like your drifting from hobby to hobby and/or thru life?

I feel that in a way,but i wouldnt go as far as drifting, as in I get very ambitious for certain things. And I have high hopes for my own life. I think its more a fear of being 70 and looking back and realising I wasted the one life we have!!
I dont think its depression as such because at the moment i am going in a happier direction that I have been before and this happens alot more now, but maybe its still the root of the situation.
The acceptance thing makes sense,a bit of an eye opener actually,because to tell the truth i do spend alot of time keeping people pleased. not in an extreme way lick arse way but its there nontheless. I dont like people not liking me,
thanks,

i am waiting on approval for my other reply to the first response.

skelliser · 18-01-2008 3:02am

in response to esel's post i dont think your bipolar or delusional thats jumping to conclusions.

well depression effects everyone differently and it can manifest itself in ways you may not realise.i can relate to the feeling of expectation and worrying that we have to make something of ourselves but i realised that this is kinda pandering to other peoples expectations.
you should do the things which you enjoy, not because of where they will lead you but how they make you feel now, and not how you think they will make you feel later, if ya get me!
another question is this having a negative effect on your life?
if it is i suggest that you should speak to someone maybe your parents, if not your g.p, dont bottle it up!

feel free to pm me if ya like

wylo · 18-01-2008 3:15am

Well a point i made in that other reply(which mightnt appear til the morning) was that while this thinking affects me negatively sometimes, it also affects me positively, ive achieved some really good and enjoyable things in the past because of my obsessions. Its also given me opportunities ,like working on business ideas, or even as far as successfully pulling women(it became an obsession and goal of mine to be good with women at one stage as i was so terrible in the past, so I studied books and message boards!!)
I suppose seeing a doctor runs the risk of sacrificing the highs but if it means i could switch off and not care what people think, and just enjoy life a bit more innocently like people around me then it could be well worth it. to put it in one sentence : I think too much.

Ishindar · 18-01-2008 3:50am

Hi OP, u sound perfectly normal to me. We all have our different balances, large measures of somethings and short measures of other things, u seem to have great passion and enthusiasm when u come across things u like and u simply enjoy these things to the max.
U also have a vivid imagination which flavours your life and get on well with others.
I guess what u are looking for here is self validation. U have some really good personality traits which help u enjoy the journey through life so enjoy!
your in your mid twenties now and still maturing, by the time u are mid thirties u will not care so much what others think, this is natural progression.

LegacyUser · 18-01-2008 7:19am

Ok OP you basically just described me in your post!!

I don't suffer from depression at all. I constantly live in my head. I've wondered about this kinda stuff before too. Can i just ask- What star sign are you maybe its somethin to do with that?

LegacyUser · 18-01-2008 9:06am

Hello there

Have a look at ESTP within the MBTI system (normal search will find write-ups).

Also, Enneagram 3 might be relevant.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser · 18-01-2008 10:51am

I'm very similar to what you've just described. Extremely passionate about things when I start them and then suddenly, out of nowhere, I turn off them and go onto my next 'project'. It gives me this instant buzz and excitement that I seem to need in life. However, in saying that, it is also driving me crazy (not in the literal sense) because I want to finish what I start and I know my life will be very unsatisfying if I keep going from one thing to another.

I also had (and sometimes have) grandiose ideas of what I could achieve in life. I don't know why. This is definitely tied into it all. When you think you can achieve something you can't then you make up then you make up unrealistic goals. For example, I always used to make goals for the next year, two years etc, with some crazy unrealistic stuff. How was I ever going to stick with something so crazy.

So, now, I'm trying to be more realistic in what I can achieve, not take on too much and think things through before starting them. Also analysing the reasons why and a what point I quit the other things I've started.

I also, had, and have (but to a lesser extent) major issues with what other people think of me. This must be tied in in some way.

Lux23 · 18-01-2008 1:47pm

To be honest if you aren't doing yourself any harm I think your unusual personality is a blessing. Its great to have an overactive imagination and to get overly excited about things. I live a dreamworld alot of the time myself and I think it keeps me sane rather making me insane. Although don't go joining the army just because you saw a film about it and you think it would be cool. Just buy yourself some combats and roll around in some muck.

Hrududu · 18-01-2008 2:13pm

You sound pretty normal to me. In fact a lot of what you describe rings bells with me.

aidan24326 · 18-01-2008 4:19pm

The mood swings, ups and downs, obsessive behaviour etc would suggest the possibility of something like bipolar, manic depressive etc
No harm to speak to a doctor and describe to him/her what you've posted here.

[Jackass] · 19-01-2008 12:22am

Was about to say that myself, the manic, obsessive habbits, the elated moods to completely withdrawn from the world, random thought process from suicide (not that you would ever do it) to your wildest dreams....sounds like classic bipolar disorder...this doesn't mean you're depressed in the classic sense of the word, but it is a disorder none the less...it can be medicated or simply lived with, but understanding it would make life easier.

I'd suggest going to see a doctor and perhaps get reffered to a psychologest to discuss it...I wouldn't jump on the pills stragiht off and it isn't a "bad" thing, but would be no harm in getting professional advice, this may help stabalise your moods and focus.

Good Luck

jdivision · 19-01-2008 1:19am

You seem to have some narcisstic and even megalomaniac elements in your personality.

bleg · 19-01-2008 1:19am

definitely bipolar disorder, treatment is good

wylo · 19-01-2008 2:14am

thanks for all the responses , im glad to see some other people are similar to myself, im aquarius by the way but im a bit of a sceptic with kinda stuff.
Having read a bit about bipolar recently, im still not sure if thats a bit extreme. Mainly because my behaviours to people are quite normal even if my thoughts are elsewhere. this doesnt affect how i act to friends or family,although my best mate knows that im not "normal".

Perhaps im just good at hiding it. I managed to hide throughout my whole youth that there ewre on going fictional made up 'movies' in my head!!
But ive been looking up some of the ideas ye've been putting up and cheers again. Someone put it up here about constantly 'living in their own head'. That sums it up really, only if I am really really busy where I have no choice,or really enjoying something (even then serious emotions can kick in) or in a very intense conversation do I manage to stop living in my own head. Otherwise my mind takes over.

This is the first time ive ever come out and said any of this stuff to anybody, perhaps because im only realising myself recently that i dont think like others. It definitely helps writing it all out, a bit of a release.
I think the fact its an irish forum was more appealling too cause I know what kind of culture im talking to.Thats the beauty of the internet...anonymonity

LegacyUser · 19-01-2008 3:36am

Oh my God, This post basically described me and i have been wary recently of the fact i could me bi-polar, i think its finally time i visited my gp! I have the same feelings i.e. that i am going to be famous(living in a fantasy), i am also incredibly paranoid regarding other people's opinions of me.

zuroph · 19-01-2008 3:40am

I'd recommend reading up on aspergers(sp) syndrome. might be asbergers. sounds Quite similar to a lot of what you are describing.

kraggy · 19-01-2008 7:50pm

bleg wrote: »

definitely bipolar disorder, treatment is good

Are you a doctor?!

Even if you were, you haven't even met the person so how can you say it's definitely bi polar.

OP, I can relate to a lot of what you posted and I think the line towards the end of your post about "not depressed..just an extreme thinker" is the only issue you might have. But that's just an expansive imagination rather than anything serious in my humble opinion.

dudara · 19-01-2008 8:46pm

kraggy wrote: »

Are you a doctor?!

Even if you were, you haven't even met the person so how can you say it's definitely bi polar.

I agree. We cannot diagnose you here on boards. Only a medical professional can do that. Please take the time to see a professional.

moco · 19-01-2008 10:48pm

That all sounds very normal to me, I'm similar in ways and an also an aquarian.

LegacyUser · 20-01-2008 3:34am

OP, im exactly like you! i have always thought i was part of something bigger, that something big was gonna happen to me, kinda like a truman show situaution! reading ur message was so weird cause i could relate to everything u said, in the last few days my mind has been obsessed with joining the army, especially the special forces, and stuff like that. and i also have think alot, about wacky and weird things, like my mind is constantly trying to think of something wackier than it last thought of. and with regards ur thooughts on suicide, i get almost daily thought of suicide, yet i would never dream of doing it (although one time i came extremely close) and am in a very happy place at the moment. I also get these images in my head every now and then, say when im daydreamining and looking out the wondow, where i have a guns target in the centree of my view and start aiming at things and shooting at them in my head!?? and just in case anyone is wondering, i am a completely normal guy, good looking, have little problem scoring girls, including hot ones, and have a solid group of friends......and i have always wondered if i was different in the way my mind worked or something, thats how i came across this post.

dsmythy · 20-01-2008 4:56pm

I can relate to some of the things said here but i feel quite normal. Go to a professional and get yourself checked out to make sure. Forget this astrology tripe though.

Dudess · 20-01-2008 5:17pm

OP, I can relate to tons of what's in your post. I think lots of people can. I suppose I'm a creative person - as in, I did really well at school in music, drama, writing, art, but was useless at maths. I think creative people do tend to experience what you experience. But not all of them think too much about it, which is what I think you're doing. While the suggestions of bipolar disorder aren't too OTT - maybe you might have it (but for god's sake, maybe you might not at all, I think it's likely you don't tbh) the suggestion that you have aspergers is just laughable.
Do have a chat with your doc in case you're suffering from anxiety (no biggie) but other than that, I really wouldn't describe your personality as "unusual" at all.

LegacyUser · 20-01-2008 7:58pm

I too have many of the same thoughts as the O.P. I'm still young and in college, have loads of friends, no problem with women and do well in college. However I always get lost in my thoughts. I always think I'm going to be great in my field and constantly imagine being powerful and rich. I wouldn't say I'm driven by money, it's more a thing of being recognised for my talents. I wouldn't say I have severe ups and downs with regards my mood, I'm generally a happy guy. I can also relate to the army thing. I could be on the bus looking out the window and I imagine a snipers scope and start aiming at people!!
I know I'd never do this and have no intention of joining the army but it doesn't stop me thinking about it. Maybe it's also something to do with power i.e. I have these people in my sights, making me feel powerful. Anyway, good to know I'm not a total fruitcake and not on my own!

wylo · 20-01-2008 9:40pm

really good to see other people are in the same situation as myself. Much more common than I thought,It just goes to show you dont have to dress,act or look weird to be a bit mad in the head.lol
I unfortunately had a realisation that when drinking I think how Id like to think sober,i.e. on the outside if ya get me. not analysing and over thinking or imagining stuff ,just regular conversing with friends without any extra thought. Luckily i dont drink much,and dont have alcoholism in my family

my unusual personality, can ANYONE relate to this

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