post traumatic stress disorder (losing my bottle)

flickerx · 06-12-2007 9:39pm #1

Did my first commute (six miles) this evening since getting hit by the bus five and a half weeks ago. My hand was a bit sore afterwards with the pressure but not too bad, managed to look after my (still broken) thumb reasonably well. Was wearing a helmet too, for the first time, ever!

So what a night to pick for it! Dark, windy, wet - and I ended up losing my brand new cats eye light (€25) somewhere along the way too, only noticed that near the end. When I was going home, I was a little bit shaky, less confident, a bit scared in places where the traffic was heavy and drifting close to me.

Normally, I'd be cycling like I had some kind of anti car forcefield around me, which made me absolutely invincible to all vehicular traffic, and giving the middle finger to every motorist who veered as much as a centimetre into the bike lane. Today was different though. I was very timid. Now, riding a bike is like... riding a bike, I didnt forget the motions, once I was up on it (my fixie) it was like the last 5 and a half weeks hadnt happened, but something was definitely not right with me... I think the crash may have taken the wind out of my sail. I'm hoping its only temporary.

Anyone else here experience anything similar after a bad fall or crash? Or know anyone that gave up cycling altogether?

(and why are people texting me about a dead model...

)

mikemac · 06-12-2007 9:50pm

I know what it's like.
Got knocked down in October when a passenger in an SUV opened the door right in the cycle lane.
I don't commute by bicycle but I used to do 50km-60km spins every weekend.

I haven't done any real cycling with traffic since the accident, I just go up and down Clontarf promenade and it sure is boring.

I'm not afraid of traffic, I commute on a moped and spend my days weaving around cars and blowing the horns at anyone who strays near me. I'm too agressive tbh.

But I do feel very vunerable on the bicycle.
You are doing the right thing OP by getting straight back to it.
The longer you leave it, the harder it gets

Raam · 06-12-2007 10:10pm

I got taken out just over a year ago when some one pulled out in front of me. I went over the bonnet, scraped my face along the ground, so I had some nice road rash afterwards. I looked like Two-face from Batman. It still hasn't faded completely. It happened about 200 yards from the end of my commute to work. It was about 2 months before I got back on the bike, and while I thoroughly enjoyed getting back I was terrified of anyone who pulls up to stop on a side road to my left. I was convinced they weren't going to stop. Even when I'm in a car (I don't drive) or on the bus, it freaks me out. It still does to some extent, but not as much. Now I use it to make myself more road-aware. You'll get back to your former biking-self, but you'll be more sensitive to what is going on around you. I think, if anything, I'm even more confident on the road now.

Bicyclegadabout · 06-12-2007 10:44pm

flickerx wrote: »

Did my first commute (six miles) this evening since getting hit by the bus five and a half weeks ago. My hand was a bit sore afterwards with the pressure but not too bad, managed to look after my (still broken) thumb reasonably well. Was wearing a helmet too, for the first time, ever!

So what a night to pick for it! Dark, windy, wet - and I ended up losing my brand new cats eye light (€25) somewhere along the way too, only noticed that near the end. When I was going home, I was a little bit shaky, less confident, a bit scared in places where the traffic was heavy and drifting close to me.

Normally, I'd be cycling like I had some kind of anti car forcefield around me, which made me absolutely invincible to all vehicular traffic, and giving the middle finger to every motorist who veered as much as a centimetre into the bike lane. Today was different though. I was very timid. Now, riding a bike is like... riding a bike, I didnt forget the motions, once I was up on it (my fixie) it was like the last 5 and a half weeks hadnt happened, but something was definitely not right with me... I think the crash may have taken the wind out of my sail. I'm hoping its only temporary.

Anyone else here experience anything similar after a bad fall or crash? Or know anyone that gave up cycling altogether?

(and why are people texting me about a dead model...)

People are texting you about a dead model because....well, if I was to give my opinion on that I'd be banned, and probably institutionalised.

Ahem

Now, as for your jitters.
It's definitly only a temporary thing. It's the sort of feeling that happens to everyone with lots of stuff. The best thing to do is to get back in the saddle....without a doubt.....It's no harm to be aware of the dangers though.

I know a fair few motorcyclists who gave up after a bad crash, but I don't know any cyclists who've done that, strangely enough.

You'll be grand, best of luck

Harrybelafonte · 06-12-2007 11:54pm

flickerx wrote: »

Did my first commute (six miles) this evening since getting hit by the bus five and a half weeks ago. My hand was a bit sore afterwards with the pressure but not too bad, managed to look after my (still broken) thumb reasonably well. Was wearing a helmet too, for the first time, ever!

So what a night to pick for it! Dark, windy, wet - and I ended up losing my brand new cats eye light (€25) somewhere along the way too, only noticed that near the end. When I was going home, I was a little bit shaky, less confident, a bit scared in places where the traffic was heavy and drifting close to me.

Normally, I'd be cycling like I had some kind of anti car forcefield around me, which made me absolutely invincible to all vehicular traffic, and giving the middle finger to every motorist who veered as much as a centimetre into the bike lane. Today was different though. I was very timid. Now, riding a bike is like... riding a bike, I didnt forget the motions, once I was up on it (my fixie) it was like the last 5 and a half weeks hadnt happened, but something was definitely not right with me... I think the crash may have taken the wind out of my sail. I'm hoping its only temporary.

Anyone else here experience anything similar after a bad fall or crash? Or know anyone that gave up cycling altogether?

(and why are people texting me about a dead model...)

Stopped cycling for years after nearly being taken out by a bus on Leeson Street Bridge. Started driving a few years later. Lost control one day and hit a wall. Not a major crash, happed at very low speed, but I really wasn't up for driving for a while (and I had 3 cars at the time which was a waste), but circumstances demanded I get i start again.

I gave up on the bike before and don't intend on doing it again. Both instances served as a reminder to watch myself and watch others more carefully. You'll get the flow back soon enough but every so often you'll remember what happened an probably be a bit safer as a result

pete4130 · 07-12-2007 12:35am

Got smacked by a volvo a few years back, onto the bonnet, then windscreen, then about 12 feet across the road onto the ground. luckily i was the only traffic and the lady didn't notice me as she came out from the side road on my left (even though I arced wide to give her more time to see me and slow down/stop). Luckily I was unhurt apart from a scraped elbow but it was a good while I was totally sketched out when I'd see cars turning from sideroads on my left onto the road I was traveling on. It'll take a while to get full confidence back though, but you'll come back the better for it, knowing that you are vulnerable (not claiming you thought you were indestructable) but it is usually at the expense of other peoples mistakes that your vulnerabilities are shown up.
Good to hear your back on the bike.

davidsatelle100 · 07-12-2007 9:54am

i've had a few nasty ones over the years, hit a wall taking a corner to fast and seeing the wheel rim and going straight for it.

but it never stopped me from getting back on the bike once the injuries were healed. I was nervous and took things easy for a while but overall it had no negative effect on me.

once you have the nerve to get back out there, and nights like last night are not pleasant even without a crash, you'll be fine.

Ghost Rider · 07-12-2007 10:14am

I had a fall a month or so ago which was nothing like as bad as yours but I was still pretty nervous when I got back on the bike. I've been pretty careful ever since and, to be honest, I hope it lasts. It's a very useful corrective to some pretty dangerous habits I'd developed over the years - in particular, cycling along the left hand side of stopped cars at a fair clip and fully expecting the doors on every one of them to remain closed!

In short, think of the timidity as useful. It'll almost certainly pass with time - which is regrettable, in a way.

flickerx wrote: »

Did my first commute (six miles) this evening since getting hit by the bus five and a half weeks ago. My hand was a bit sore afterwards with the pressure but not too bad, managed to look after my (still broken) thumb reasonably well. Was wearing a helmet too, for the first time, ever!

So what a night to pick for it! Dark, windy, wet - and I ended up losing my brand new cats eye light (€25) somewhere along the way too, only noticed that near the end. When I was going home, I was a little bit shaky, less confident, a bit scared in places where the traffic was heavy and drifting close to me.

Normally, I'd be cycling like I had some kind of anti car forcefield around me, which made me absolutely invincible to all vehicular traffic, and giving the middle finger to every motorist who veered as much as a centimetre into the bike lane. Today was different though. I was very timid. Now, riding a bike is like... riding a bike, I didnt forget the motions, once I was up on it (my fixie) it was like the last 5 and a half weeks hadnt happened, but something was definitely not right with me... I think the crash may have taken the wind out of my sail. I'm hoping its only temporary.

Anyone else here experience anything similar after a bad fall or crash? Or know anyone that gave up cycling altogether?

(and why are people texting me about a dead model...)

flickerx · 07-12-2007 11:05am

Cheers for the advice/counselling everyone. This morning wasnt as bad as yesterday, probably because the traffic was lighter and the weather was better. I was still a bit wary of picking up speed on the bike though, in places where the traffic was alongside me. Other cyclists were overtaking me, usually its the other way around! Took about ten minutes longer than usual for the journey, as Ghost Rider says I'd say the timidity will wear off.

I think I'll leave off using the mp3 player for a good while.

Also my balls were a little tender this morning when demounting... not used to the saddle...

Harrybelafonte · 07-12-2007 2:48pm

Harrybelafonte wrote: »

Stopped cycling for years after nearly being taken out by a bus on Leeson Street Bridge. Started driving a few years later. Lost control one day and hit a wall. Not a major crash, happed at very low speed, but I really wasn't up for driving for a while (and I had 3 cars at the time which was a waste), but circumstances demanded I get i start again.

I gave up on the bike before and don't intend on doing it again. Both instances served as a reminder to watch myself and watch others more carefully. You'll get the flow back soon enough but every so often you'll remember what happened an probably be a bit safer as a result

Scratch that. Came off this morning. My own fault and nothing major but I can easily see why a crash in traffic would will put you off risking it again

doozerie · 07-12-2007 3:01pm

Someone deliberately drove their car at me a few months back, damaging my bike slightly but not me (sheer luck that the car stopped just as it hit my leg - there is no way he had enough control over the car to be sure that he wasn't going to drive right through my leg(s)). Scared the ****e out of me that someone could be willing to do that, and worse still that he showed absolutely no remorse whatsoever afterwards (I initially thought he had just lost the head and did it without considering the consequences, but he was just as obnoxious afterwards so he clearly didn't care).

It took a few months for me to feel relatively safe in traffic again. Mostly my concern was that a driver could knowingly, and casually, do something that to them was nothing (e.g. pull straight out in front of me) but could put me in hospital or worse. Made me sick of the whole mindset of commuters who consider every other road user to just be an obstruction to their progress, which unfortunately is a significant number. The fact that some people think like that is not news to anyone, of course, but to experience someone going to such an extreme just emphasised to me how dangerous a ton of metal is in the hands of an utter asshole.

The incident shook my faith in the gardai too, as they basically didn't treat it seriously, but that is a whole other matter - there are idiots in the gardai just like in any profession so you've just gotta hope you end up dealing with the decent ones.

I continue to commute by bike, but it has taken a while for me not to be so conscious of the risks (and to stop looking out for that car!). One thing that it did emphaises to me though is the importance of stopping and offering support if you witness an incident/accident. My incident occured in broad daylight and in front of a string of stopped cars and two cyclists. The only person who stopped to offer assistance was another cyclist who passed by a few minutes later. If only one person who witnessed the incident had hung around, then the car driver would probably be facing a charge of reckless or dangerous driving - instead he got off scot free with nothing on his license to indicate that he is a serious danger to others.

the GALL · 07-12-2007 3:01pm

I had a bad accident with a table saw got me fingers caught in the blade(yea i know stupid stupid stupid) took me ages to work with power tools again. Now i make garden furniture and work with all types of cutting equip. stick with it and don't let it beat you

Raam · 07-12-2007 3:06pm

It's a shame to hear that some people had bad experiences with Gardai and lack of witnesses. I only have admiration and respect for the people who helped me when I got knocked off. The Garda was great, a true gentleman and a pleasure to deal with. The one witness that I was aware of (may have been others that I never got to speak with) was also very helpful to me.

kona · 07-12-2007 3:17pm

doozerie wrote: »

Someone deliberately drove their car at me a few months back, damaging my bike slightly but not me (sheer luck that the car stopped just as it hit my leg - there is no way he had enough control over the car to be sure that he wasn't going to drive right through my leg(s)). Scared the ****e out of me that someone could be willing to do that, and worse still that he showed absolutely no remorse whatsoever afterwards (I initially thought he had just lost the head and did it without considering the consequences, but he was just as obnoxious afterwards so he clearly didn't care).

It took a few months for me to feel relatively safe in traffic again. Mostly my concern was that a driver could knowingly, and casually, do something that to them was nothing (e.g. pull straight out in front of me) but could put me in hospital or worse. Made me sick of the whole mindset of commuters who consider every other road user to just be an obstruction to their progress, which unfortunately is a significant number. The fact that some people think like that is not news to anyone, of course, but to experience someone going to such an extreme just emphasised to me how dangerous a ton of metal is in the hands of an utter asshole.

The incident shook my faith in the gardai too, as they basically didn't treat it seriously, but that is a whole other matter - there are idiots in the gardai just like in any profession so you've just gotta hope you end up dealing with the decent ones.

I continue to commute by bike, but it has taken a while for me not to be so conscious of the risks (and to stop looking out for that car!). One thing that it did emphaises to me though is the importance of stopping and offering support if you witness an incident/accident. My incident occured in broad daylight and in front of a string of stopped cars and two cyclists. The only person who stopped to offer assistance was another cyclist who passed by a few minutes later. If only one person who witnessed the incident had hung around, then the car driver would probably be facing a charge of reckless or dangerous driving - instead he got off scot free with nothing on his license to indicate that he is a serious danger to others.

thats a ****ing disgrace, that prick of a driver is lucky it wasnt me or hed have a expensive car repair bill, wingmirrors are expensive and easy to rip off, as is paint.
i remember a similar incident on the howth road, i was coming back from wicklow and a car jammed on at a side street, when he saw me, he rolled down the window and shouted "****ing cycling wanker" and spat at me.
The spit was the end of it, he flew off down the road only to stop at the traffic lights, lol stupid drivers thinking they can get away from a bike! i catch up and "accidentally";) clip his wing mirror, it fell off, i swear the guy freaked, he ran a red light and chased me through furry park,lol i was breaking my **** laughing, as no way he was gunna catch me!!lol i brought him to a dead end and off i cycled through a gap in a hedge, leaving him:D:D
dunno why i shared that experience but it still brings a smile to my face!
i know i damaged his car and was wrong but, i really dont care considering what a asshole he is

trek climber · 07-12-2007 3:50pm

Having a crap day at work but that story has even made me smile.
Cheers Kona

unionman · 07-12-2007 5:38pm

Keep it up fickerx, the fear will pass. You did pick a hell of an evening to start again.

I was talking to one of the guys in Cycleways a few years ago, and he told me that among couriers, they regularly talk about 'the fear'; that period of inhibition post injury. He says it affects how you feel about wind, rain, hills, as well as traffic. Made so much sense, I got walloped by a sales rep at the garage on Baggot St bridge (this was in 1993). Scared the living s**t out of me and left me with a badly hurt knee. When I got back on a bike I was very timid, and gave up a few months later. Didn't get back on a bike until 8 years later, and realised I still loved it, was sorry I had given up so easily all those years before.

I'm cautious now, informed by experience, I never can take my safety for granted, but as Ghost Rider was saying, the cautiousness keeps you alert, and probably safer as a result.

Hang in there.

doozerie · 07-12-2007 5:51pm

kona wrote:

thats a ****ing disgrace, that prick of a driver is lucky it wasnt me or hed have a expensive car repair bill, wingmirrors are expensive and easy to rip off, as is paint.

I put a dent in his bonnet after he hit me, and was told by the gardai that I could face charges of criminal damage for my troubles. I don't care about his car, but the possible implications for me were very serious and it wouldn't have been worth it if he had brought charges against me.

The moral seems to be that if you don't have a witness to support your version of events, if things go against you (i.e. the gardai choose not to believe you) then any damage that you cause could leave you rightly screwed. Which is depressing, to say the least, although maybe not as depressing as the fact that no-one could be arsed stopping to help out.

avalanche · 08-12-2007 4:12pm

well i suffered from post traumatic stress and it does go away after a while but you really do need to face your fears to get over it. my experience wasnt cycle related ( it involved five people with iron bars and a car chasing me on a footpath ) but the end result was post traumatic stress and about 100 stitches. i recommend you keep cycling as often as possible so as to put some time and distance between yourself and the event.good luck

roadmanmad · 08-12-2007 6:12pm

There are serious problems when someone hits you.

1) make every effort to stay calm. This is extremely difficult.
2) call the guards. State what your injuries.
3) If there are witnesses ask for their number.
4) When the guards arrive, do not get into a heated debate.

A payout to a slightly injured cyclist is much cheaper than a claim.

Beks · 05-02-2008 1:40am

Hope you're feeling more confident now as time goes on. I had a really bad accident about a year ago, someone turned left and didn't look in the bike lane. I still can't feel much in my lower right leg, apparently the feeling will never come back. I'm not scared of cycling at all though, I just always make sure I wear a helmet now and I've learned you can never trust anyone else but yourself on the road, whether it be another cyclist, a pedestrian or a motorist. They're all as bad as each other!

rubadub · 05-02-2008 1:59am

kona wrote: »

i know i damaged his car and was wrong but, i really dont care considering what a asshole he is

I think spitting is actually considered fairly serious. I have heard of swabs been taken to prove it was a persons spit. Somedays I don't know what I would do to some drivers if they dared to get out of the car, adrenalin is a powerful thing. One place in particular I am always screaming in car windows KUNT!, much to the amusement of passing secondary schoolkids

zorkmundsson · 11-02-2008 7:53pm

hm, didn't realise "the fear" was so prevalent. came off in early december (damn you wet luas lines, darkness, and excessive speed!) and was pretty nervous the first week back in the saddle. grand now though, and shouting at drivers just like old times.

uberwolf · 11-02-2008 8:26pm

wet luas lines caught me only last week. You'd think I would have been wary, I'd only wrestled my rear wheel out of the groove 100 metres previously.

I've always hated the wet in town though.

Danbo! · 11-02-2008 9:57pm

talk about the wrong night to read this thread. i got hit last wednesday (not my first fall but first time being hit by a car, hopyfully the last too) Nothing very serious but have been pretty sore since and still am. Cant stand using the bus for 1.5 - 2 hours when it could be a 25min cycle, Im back on the bike in the morning, hopefully all goes well.

unionman · 12-02-2008 1:23pm

noblestee wrote: »

talk about the wrong night to read this thread. i got hit last wednesday (not my first fall but first time being hit by a car, hopyfully the last too) Nothing very serious but have been pretty sore since and still am. Cant stand using the bus for 1.5 - 2 hours when it could be a 25min cycle, Im back on the bike in the morning, hopefully all goes well.

Hope it went ok for you this morning. I hope the motorist was suitably repentant?

Danbo! · 12-02-2008 2:11pm

thanks, it was grand, 25 minutes turned into about 30-35 as i was really taking it easy, watching every side road. Dont feel so invincible now, which is probably a good thing. The motorist was fine, and will be paying for all repairs which ive had done and a new helmet as the old one took a bit of a knock. take it easy out there everyone!

TinyExplosions · 15-02-2008 4:47pm

Well, had my first major off this morning... comin round a roundabout in Blanch I leaned over a lil too far or something and ended up eating the tarmac -front tooth gone, and a fine gash on my chin!

Oh well, could have been worse, and I need to get back on the horse ASAP

Raam · 15-02-2008 4:58pm

TinyExplosions wrote: »

Well, had my first major off this morning... comin round a roundabout in Blanch I leaned over a lil too far or something and ended up eating the tarmac -front tooth gone, and a fine gash on my chin!

Oh well, could have been worse, and I need to get back on the horse ASAP

ouch, but the real question...how is the bike after this?

sorry

TinyExplosions · 15-02-2008 6:30pm

Thankfully, it was my paddy wagon, which is bombproof, so no bother there!

post traumatic stress disorder (losing my bottle)

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