It's tough trying to be green in Ireland!

I arrived at Dublin airport recently and rather than taking the intelligent (but un-green option) of getting a connecting flight to my destination (Cork), I decided to take the train instead. I had given up using the overcrowded, infrequent rail services in Ireland for the past few years – but decided to give the Irish Rail daytime hourly service a chance to redeem my faith in Irish public transport.

Having shelled out about €30 for a taxi ride from the airport to Heuston, in a sub-standard taxi (dirty Toyota Corolla 1990s vintage, but pleasant taxi driver – as most are) (in the absence of a railway station at Dublin airport), I arrived at the station. In most other cities of a similar size, it would be a €3 to €5 train ride from airport to the station or better still the Cork train would start at Dublin airport and call at Heuston or Connolly station en route to Cork.

At the station, I had only 20 minutes to spare before my train was due to depart so I made my way to a ticket machine to buy a one way, first class ticket to Cork. These ticket machines – which no doubt cost Irish Rail millions – only sell second class return tickets to Cork*. And they still don’t sell integrated tickets – (ie offering a destination option of “Cork + City bus” for an extra say €1, rather than only “Cork” – which means you have to waste time buying another bus ticket at the destination.) Or more likely use the option of a car – taxi, someone picking you up, or driving to/from the station if you have a car available to you. The integrated public transport option should be presented by default when making a ticket purchase.

Irish Rail has separate machines to dispense tickets for people who have advance reservation – instead of combining the function of selling non-reserved and reserved seat tickets from the same machine like every other railway network operator in Europe.

I was forced to line up at one of only two operational ticket sale windows – to buy my ticket – cost €68, (= 27.2 c/km – the equivalent 1cl fare in France on a Corail Theoz with soft leather seats and foot rests would be about €50). Irish Rail has to print two tickets – (a) the 2cl adult “single” voucher and (b) the 1st class “supplement”. Every other railway in Europe manages to issue a first class ticket in one ticket document.

I made my way to the entrance to the platform, over which the matrix platform describer display sign said “Cork 11.00” to find the gate to the platform closed, eight minutes before the train was due to depart.

My immediate thought was Irish Rail were trying to force people to arrive at the station an hour before departure of the train (as was necessary in the bad old days if one was to get a seat, before the government bought new rolling stock). So I pushed the gate and made my way to the first car of the train, followed by other passengers in the same plight. While there was no 1 cl on the door, looking through the window I could see the 2+1 seat configuration and assumed it was therefore a 1 cl car, as per the indication on my ticket.

I was “greeted” by the train “receptionist” (a nasty b****, who would be better employed as a prison warden!) who demanded that I get off the train and get my ticket validated by another individual who was way down the platform – four or five cars away from the car I decided to occupy. Welcome to Irish Rail First Class! Arrogant, customer unfriendly. Impolite. Pig ignorant state monopoly.

The ticket checker should have been standing at the start of the signed entrance to the platform so everyone passing could see the sign, and get their ticket validated en route to the train. (In most railway systems, this process is self service performed by at a machine – or doesn’t exist at all where there is 100% ticket checking on board the train anyway – as in the case of the Dublin-Cork train).

Irish Rail – wasteful duplication of work. The matrix sign for the Cork train apparently was in the wrong place, and everybody is supposed to know that.

Having returned to my seat, another scruffily attired ticket checker went through the car demanding tickets from everybody, without any form of greeting or politeness. When he was punching my two tickets for the second time in 5 minutes I asked him why the need for all this ticket checking bureaucracy. His gruff response was that “you will show me your ticket four or as many times as I demand it”. Welcome to Irish Rail First Class, again, again! Who is responsible for their staff training? Who is responsible for signposting at Heuston Station? Do government ministers and senior civil servants ever use the railway service?

During the journey I went on a walkabout and in the car behind mine (which appeared to be a dumping ground for train rubbish – clearly visible behind glass doors), I could see approximately 5 large fire extinguishers thrown on the floor, standing loose, which weigh about 18 kg each. (Other railways that I am familiar with have extinguishers installed at standard positions in each car, strapped into position so they don’t turn into a flying missile in the event of a derailment or crash). I pointed the safety risk of this to the train receptionist and she claimed that the glass doors between the dump area and my compartment would not break if the steel cylinders hit them! My GPS indicated that the train was travelling at speeds of up to 164 km/h during the journey – and I have no doubt that if those heavy metal cylinders full of water and gas went flying in an accident situation, they would kill or seriously injure anyone in their path. While I didn't walk through the rest of the train, I wonder in retrospect if there are any fire extinguishers in the other compartments of the train - or are they all dumped on the floor of the rubbish car at the end of the train?

Anyway Miss train receptionist kept harassing me from time to time – instead of letting me get on with my reading. No such thing as "voyage en toute tranquilite" on this baby. The first class seats on these trains are as hard as a rock – and quite uncomfortable. And the train’s suspension is hard like a racing car – which combined with the appalling condition of the tracks (permanent way in their lingo) – makes it challenging to drink a cup of coffee in these 2007 vintage Spanish boneshakers – especially around Co Kildare where the tracks are in particularly bad condition.

A train journey should be restful and quiet. Low noise levels and a minimum vibration. Instead this late and expensive train is a boneshaker and the rude and arrogant railway staff working on it make one’s journey anything but pleasant. The laptop power socket on my seat wasn’t working, and the cloth seats (most railways now have leather seats in first class in modern rolling stock) are already showing signs of wear and stains.

The only good point was that the toilet was spacious, and someone in a wheelchair would have no problem negotiating their way in and out of the cubicle.

It is time to consider privatising the operation of rail services (not the rail network) in Ireland. Irish Rail is making a pigs ear of spending the additional capital resources made available to them out of the public purse.

Let these people strike if they want to – we can fly in the meantime or stay stuck in traffic – while there is some oil left in the ground. These arrogant railway workers don’t deserve a job until they mend their manners and the system is run by someone who is service oriented.

Is it any wonder that Ireland is so grid-locked and wedded to the car?

.probe

*The options available when buying a ticket on French railways (depending on train type) include:

1) One way and round trip 1st and 2nd class
2) Facing or your back to the direction of travel
3) Solo seats when travelling on one’s own
4) Duo seating for two people travelling together – with the choice of face to face or beside each other.
5) If you are travelling on the same train as a business contact, if s/he tells you his car and seat number, you can enter these data and the system when making your reservation, and it puts all parties sitting together – despite the fact that they have made their reservations independently.
6) Choice of upstairs or downstairs (in duplex trains)
7) Window or corridor seat preferred?