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Can she do this?

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  • 28-01-2006 2:58am
    #1
    Gracie*
    Registered Users Posts: 8 ✭


    I know I'm not supposed to be looking for legal advice here but I'm just wondering is there any point in me going to a solicitor.

    Problem I'm having is that my mother has barred my brother (15) from having any contact with me. I live in the country and they're in Dublin so I'm mostly texting or calling him. Anyway sent him some texts over Christmas to which I only got one reply, after about a week he text me back saying he wasn't allowed be in touch with me, not because of something I'd done as I hadn't seen him since November, they'd had a bit of a fight and as punishment she said he wasn't allowed to be in touch with me.
    I have a strained realtionship (at best ) with her and for the past few years she's been using this as a threat.

    Is she legally allowed to do this?
    (Also found out to day that my sister is checking his phone records to see if there's been any contact)


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    #2
    dingding
    Registered Users Posts: 4,931 ✭✭✭dingding


    Send him a ready to go sim, that way you can contact him without it apearing on the phone records, or alternatly a ready to go phone that looks the same as the one he has.


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    #3
    Zillah
    Registered Users Posts: 17,371 ✭✭✭✭Zillah


    That'd be so sweet. Send him a sim card that he can check every now and then to get messages from you.

    As for the legal end of things, Im not sure. It really is an interesting question. I'd hazzard a guess at saying that her attempt to place an unofficial restraining order on you has no basis in law, but it would be best to contact a solicitor.


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    #4
    SexeeAussie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 307 ✭✭SexeeAussie


    Is there any way he can email you, say from a net cafe or a friend's house?? That might be a good way of maintaining contact with him.


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    #5
    liamskater
    Closed Accounts Posts: 958 ✭✭✭liamskater


    yeah i think the sims and emails are good ideas. What age are you?


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    #6
    The Sweeper
    Registered Users Posts: 10,658 ✭✭✭✭The Sweeper


    I don't think it's a question of legality Gracie, sounds like your mother's a control freak though. While he's underage he's bound to her rules, and unless you're contesting custody of your brother she can forbid him to speak to you, the same way she can forbid him to speak to friends she disapproves of, for instance.

    However, telling a teenager that he is not permitted contact with a sibling that he loves as a punishment for somethng he's done is a rather disgusting way of exercising control. Why can't your mother take away his nintendo and ground him for a week like anyone else would? Are you some sort of alcoholic crack-whore, tempting your little brother into a life of same-sex prostitution or something?

    Whatever the reason, sounds like your mother's decided she doesn't like the cut of your jib so she's come down twice as hard on your brother to make sure he doesn't follow in your footsteps. It's a mean spirited cheap trick to be honest. Any point in your speaking to her to see what her problem is?


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    #7
    Pigman II
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,921 ✭✭✭✭Pigman II


    I like the second-sim idea. For one thing it'll solve your logistical problem there and then and for another it'll do your brother a favour by showing him he doesn't have to turn into some sort of mother-dominated pussywhipped freak of nature.


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    #8
    AngryBadger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,251 ✭✭✭AngryBadger


    I'd say go with the second sim/e-mail idea. Your mother is obviously to controlling, but if you start going down the legal road, you'll onyl create a much, much bigger problem. So try to be discrete, and tactical about it, i.e. new sim, and e-mail.


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    #9
    Gracie*
    Registered Users Posts: 8 ✭Gracie*


    Minesajackdaniels wrote:
    Are you some sort of alcoholic crack-whore, tempting your little brother into a life of same-sex prostitution or something?

    If only this was the case!! Own my own house (well me and the bank!), in a long term relationship (8yrs) and working.

    What's quite funny is that over the summer I got a call from my sister and mother saying that if I didn't take him in he'd be put into care because his behaviour was so "out of control", all he was doing was disagreeing with her and sticking up for me.

    We are in contact via email and as far as I'm aware his phone is already a ready to go.


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    #10
    [Jackass]
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,193 ✭✭✭[Jackass]


    What the hell man??? :confused:

    Is she (your mother) just an absolute fruit cake or is there some big back story of fighting and stuff??!

    Anyway, she's dividing your family in 2 ... You and your bro Vs her and your sis (who btw, I have no fricken idea why is helping out the 'ould bag!)

    lol, sorry, I don't mean to disrespect your mother...but she sounds like she has serious issues!!

    Is your dad around? What does he/would he make of all this?





    ...psycho hag...


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    #11
    turbot
    Registered Users Posts: 1,106 ✭✭✭turbot


    Aside from anything, it sounds like your younger brother needs your support.

    You are perhaps a sane individual in a life with a crazy controlling mother.

    As for the legalities of the situation, I'm not sure.

    I guess if it went to court, she'd probably be lambasted for being controlling and unethical. Perhaps you should consider calling one of the agnencies that deals with child abuse... to me this sounds like an abusive use of power.

    For the sake of your brother, legal or not, I think you should maintain contact with him. Find some smart way of achieving this... be it through a secret phone.... the internet.... or having you in his phone with a different name as a friend.

    Curiously, of all the people in this situation who is in need, I suspect it is your brother the most. I don't know if there are any reasons for why you don't get on with your mother, perhaps you could elaborate...? Unless you are a very bad influence, it doesn't seem smart to do this...


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    #12
    Gracie*
    Registered Users Posts: 8 ✭Gracie*


    After sending a text to my mother asking how long this punishment was going to last and receiving the answer "I don't know", I've decided to go to go ahead with the legal route as I think I've got a case (or at least can get them to send a letter)
    I'm hoping someone can recommend a very good one in the midlands area as I'd prefer not to cold call.
    Thanks


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