Penis appreciation thread

Nehaxak wrote: »

Ah Jaysuz that was uncalled for.

Ok... Bell Butter then....

This is a serious subject horse and some notes on my modus operandi might be helpfull:

As any military man knows it is important to "test fire" your weapon before going into battle.

First things choice of kekks is important - I favour dark colors with the snug fitting look - to emphasise the merchandise so to speak.

Loose fitting light colors are...just impractical..and that kebab you downed just to "line the gut" has a nasty habit of "showing" at the most inappropriate moment and stains however sentimental are seldom a good conversation peice or ice breaker.

I try and arrive at the meeting place as relaxed as possible - meet mates and injest a few pints to kick off.


After a couple of pints I focus on the girl with the very tight jeans at the end of the bar and if there are a few "stirrings" from down below - I know all is well.


Then have a few more pints get nice and mellow and then focus on the rather blousy auld one at the other end of the bar - have a brief fantasy - like takin her out to the phone box whippin off her knicks an givin her one up the duff - somethin simple like that - if dowwn below reacts then alll is well.

Finally focus on the fat girl with glasses in the corner and imagine her straddling your face and shovin a length of beads up your ass while vigourously pumpin yore chopper ( best if you keep it simple) if this produces substantial stirrings or a raging boner then my friend

"You have reached cruising altitude and are ready for battle"

One final word - never accept cheap hand wash from toilet attendants as this may cause "friendly fire" incidents with the lads from The George or the Porterhouse.

Best of luck y'all

FJC - Ordnance Officer /Artificer - 69th Cavalry Division.