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Driving phobia please help

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  • 08-08-2013 10:33pm
    #1
    yeahyeah73
    Registered Users Posts: 12 ✭


    Hello all, as the title suggests I suffer from a driving phobia. I have been taking driving lessons for 2 years and things only started really improving after I started taking lessons with an instructor who deals specifically with people with driving phobia.
    I have recently plucked up the courage to drive on my own something that I never thought I would be able to do but now my main goal is being able to drive to work in september. I cannot face the humiliation of being a car owner and getting the bus to work or hanging around waiting for lifts off my kind work mates.
    I really want to achieve my goal and I practice everyday in hopes of achieving it but my main concern that my anxiety will be too overwhelming and I will make mistakes (like pulling myself into the wrong gear and stalling) and have to pull in. At this point I know its imperative for me to be able to rely on myself and have faith that Im in control but I still don't believe that about myself even though I am a good driver and have all the necessary skills. Any tips or advice would be extremely welcome. Thank you


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    #2
    MascotDec85
    Moderators, Motoring & Transport Moderators Posts: 1,924 Mod ✭✭✭✭MascotDec85


    Have you ever considered hypnosis?


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    #3
    yeahyeah73
    Registered Users Posts: 12 ✭yeahyeah73


    Hi, I have bought a hypnosis CD related specifically to this problem but it didn't seem to work too much, I felt relaxed after listening to it but would still be very nervous in the car. Im ok driving when it is quiet, but extremely nervous when there is traffic :confused:


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    #4
    MascotDec85
    Moderators, Motoring & Transport Moderators Posts: 1,924 Mod ✭✭✭✭MascotDec85


    yeahyeah73 wrote: »
    Hi, I have bought a hypnosis CD related specifically to this problem but it didn't seem to work too much, I felt relaxed after listening to it but would still be very nervous in the car. Im ok driving when it is quiet, but extremely nervous when there is traffic :confused:

    In fairness a cd might not work the best. Getting an appointment with a qualified hypnotherapist was was I had in mind. I stopped smoking 4 years ago using hypnotherapy. The woman who did it got into it after getting hypnotized herself to help with driving then to stop smoking.

    It's worth looking into properly IMO


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    #5
    was.deevey
    Registered Users Posts: 1,213 ✭✭✭was.deevey


    but my main concern that my anxiety will be too overwhelming and I will make mistakes (like pulling myself into the wrong gear and stalling) and have to pull in.
    Have you ever considered hypnosis?

    Or an Automatic ...

    But seriously, having driven with quite a few fearful drivers one of the biggest hurdles to get over was accepting that others will (a) be reasonably understanding (b) reasonably courteous (c) aren't all out to get you, most people just want to get from a > b.

    I'd really advise you take the car out on a few late night runs after midnight/midweek when there is little traffic on some big long open roads. Take your time and just try to focus on whats happening outside and the fact that you are getting to an actual real destination (make somewhere as your start and end point) rather than just paying attention to what you are doing inside with your hands and feet and watching out for your own mistakes.

    Try to feel and hear what the engine is doing and where the wheel is in your hands and just be comfortable with your surroundings (ignore the 10:2, 4:8 on the wheel if you were ever told to do that - pure rubbish).

    Make it a decent journey, 30 or 40 miles each way ... without too many stoppages (dual carriageway) so you can feel a sense of achievement on your return.


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    #6
    wil
    Registered Users Posts: 4,188 ✭✭✭wil


    yeahyeah73 wrote: »
    Hello all, as the title suggests I suffer from a driving phobia. I have been taking driving lessons for 2 years and things only started really improving after I started taking lessons with an instructor who deals specifically with people with driving phobia.
    I have recently plucked up the courage to drive on my own something that I never thought I would be able to do but now my main goal is being able to drive to work in september. I cannot face the humiliation of being a car owner and getting the bus to work or hanging around waiting for lifts off my kind work mates.
    I really want to achieve my goal and I practice everyday in hopes of achieving it but my main concern that my anxiety will be too overwhelming and I will make mistakes (like pulling myself into the wrong gear and stalling) and have to pull in. At this point I know its imperative for me to be able to rely on myself and have faith that Im in control but I still don't believe that about myself even though I am a good driver and have all the necessary skills. Any tips or advice would be extremely welcome. Thank you
    You have obviously taken one of the best steps by using a suitable instructor and with their expertise they would probably be the best to advise you further. Meditation and counselling/mindfullness might be other avenues to explore. Keep in mind most people have the ability to drive safely with correct training and experience.
    Anxiety can affect even experienced drivers and stalling can happen to anybody. Ask your instructor to train you how to respond to stalling so it's second nature and then thats another thing you can deal with rather than worry about.

    I have to admire people with other issues to deal with who become very competent safe drivers.


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    #7
    Eire Go Brach
    Registered Users Posts: 1,369 ✭✭✭Eire Go Brach


    In my opinion. It's not your driving its your mind.
    You can't change the situation you need to change your attitude towards it. You have done great so far.

    But I think You need to get some cognative behavioural therapy.

    Either one on one. Or an excellent group meeting called Recovery.


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    #8
    Sparko
    Registered Users Posts: 2,091 ✭✭✭Sparko


    I was a very slow learner, took me a long time to get on the road properly. It was part fear, and part laziness, I could always rely on public transport or a lift. But a change of job changed all that and I had to take the plunge, haven't looked back since!

    I agree with the point about other drivers being considerate; whenever I made a mistake I used to panic and expect immediate backlash from other drivers but all in all I've found that other drivers generally understand the L plate and act accordingly.


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    #9
    biko
    Registered Users Posts: 81,223 ✭✭✭✭biko


    It's not a phobia. You do however need to work on your confidence and assertiveness. Both of these will be reflected in your driving style.

    A friend of mine was having these very issues and went to assertiveness classes and I also gave her pointers while driving with her over a couple weeks. Many pointers was to drive more assertively which she did after a few days.
    She had failed 3 previous tests, but passed her full test a week ago.


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    #10
    DriversEd
    Registered Users Posts: 241 ✭✭DriversEd


    hi Yeahyeah73,
    just a quick question on this, is it only applicable to driving?
    or do you notice its affects in other areas of your life?
    if its just driving, i'd consider NLP, which is very good for clearing specific phobia type problems, as it changes the way you think about it. you instructor seems to be ok in your book, which is really all that matters right now, but a very structured approach to the driving skills would be very helpful to you, so there is less chance of mistakes, that inevitably cause you anxiety as they build up.
    hope this helps
    ed


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